Authors: Sam Enthoven
"Been here —
ow
," Jack said aloud, as the Dragon began to suck out his life.
"Done this," he added, doing his best to put a brave face on things — though to be honest, at that moment, he wasn't sure why he was bothering.
"
You are... very strange
,"
said the Dragon suddenly.
For a moment, Jack was too surprised to speak, but it didn't take him long to recover himself.
"No," he replied.
"I'm normal.
It's
you
who's strange."
"
What... do you mean?
"
"I mean," said Jack, with an effort, "this business of you creating the universe and falling asleep, then waking up and destroying it."
"Yes?"
"Well, what kind of a routine is that?
If all you were ever going to do was sleep through the whole thing, why bother creating the universe in the first place?
It just..."
Jack shook his head.
"It doesn't make any sense!"
Suddenly, to Jack's surprise, the sucking sensation stopped.
The throne still held him tight:
the tentacle things still gripped his arms — but the blood was no longer being leeched out of his body.
"
Your question is a fair one,
"
the Dragon said, considering.
"
You're about to die, so I shall let you in on a secret
."
Jack held his breath.
"
I have not been asleep
."
"So?" asked Jack, annoyed.
"What've you been doing all this time?
Pretending?"
"
My slumber was a convenient fiction
,"
said the Dragon smugly.
"
It was necessary, to preserve the conditions of my experiment
."
"What experiment?" asked Jack.
"
When I created your universe
,"
the Dragon announced,
"
I also created its nemesis:
an immortal being that thrived on the worst in people — a being that, if it were given the chance, would have the power to bring my Creation to an end
."
"The Scourge," said Jack.
"
The central question of my experiment, then, was this
,"
the Dragon went on.
"
Could the other sentient creatures work together to prevent this catastrophe from occurring?
Or would they be so wrapped up in their own concerns that they would allow themselves to be destroyed
?"
"I don't understand," said Jack.
"
That question has now been answered
,"
said the Dragon, regardless.
"
The Scourge succeeded.
The awakening was not prevented
."
It paused.
"
You failed.
"
Jack thought about this, following through the implications of what he'd just heard.
It took several seconds, but when he finally got his head round it, he felt an emotion that was so strong he couldn't actually identify it at first.
"Hang on," he said.
"Let me get this straight.
This whole thing — the whole history of the universe — was just some kind of... test?"
The Dragon did not reply.
"But that's insane!" said Jack, with rising fury.
"Are you seriously telling me, after everything that's happened, that it's all been, like, a game for you?"
"
Not a game
,"
the Dragon replied.
"
An
experiment
.
And now the experiment is over
."
"But — I don’t
believe
this!" said Jack.
"All this effort, all this pain and suffering, and it's just so you can prove some
point?
"
"
That is correct
,"
said the Dragon simply.
"Well," said Jack.
There was, he found, only one more thing to be said.
"You SELFISH GIT!"
"
What
?
"
said the Dragon, astonished.
"
What
did you just say
?"
"I think you heard me," said Jack, disgusted.
"Well, I've got a question for you too.
Where do you get off playing with people's lives like that?
What gives you the right?
Who
," he added, reaching a pitch of righteous rage,
"do you think you are?"
"
I am THE DRAGON
,"
roared the Dragon.
"
I am your Creator.
It is an unspeakable, immeasurable honor
,"
it went on,
"
for an insignificant speck such as yourself to have the opportunity to converse with one such as me.
You are here as a penitent, offering your pitiful life in exchange for a stay of execution for your universe.
I would think, therefore, that a little
respect
is—
"
"Hang on," said Jack suddenly.
"Say that again."
"
I said
,"
said the Dragon,
"
I am the Dragon, Your Cr—
"
"No, after that."
"
After what?
"
"After all that crap you just said," said Jack, another ugly thought beginning to occur to him.
"What do you mean,
my
universe?"
"
I'm sorry
?"
asked the Dragon.
"You said, 'your universe'," pursued Jack doggedly.
"What exactly did you mean by that?
Are there others?
And come to think of it, what do you mean by 'one such as me'?"
"
You must have misheard me
."
"No," said Jack.
"Your voice is pretty loud, and I'm quite sure you distinctly said—"
"
It is not for one such as you to question the utterances of the Dragon
!"
"Just tell me this," said Jack quickly.
"If you created us — the universe, everything — then who created
you
?"
"
No one
!"
said the Dragon.
"
I created myself
."
"Nope.
Sorry," said Jack.
"I don't believe you."
He shook his head, actually smiling to himself now.
"Blimey!" he said.
"You gods — you're all the same.
You must just think we're all stupid!"
"
Wh-what do you mean
?"
"I mean, look at what you do, going around 'creating' things.
Why do you do it?"
"
My motivations are like me; infinite and mysterious.
A puny mortal could not
—"
"Oh,
save
it," said Jack.
"Please, just give it a rest, will you?
If you don't have the guts to tell me yourself, then I'll tell you what
I
think — all right?"
"
Very well
,"
snorted the Dragon.
"
Amuse me
!"
Jack took a deep breath.
"I don't think," he began, "that when you — and people like you — go and start something like this, you do it with some grand master plan in mind.
You do it," he said, "because you're bored.
That's my guess."
"Yeah," Jack went on, liking his idea more and more the more he examined it.
"You do it because you think it'll be fun.
You do it because it might be interesting.
You do it," he finished, "because you've got
nothing else to do!
"
There was a long silence.
"Am I right?" asked Jack.
"Or what?"
"
That's
..."
said the Dragon — and paused.
"
Actually
,"
it conceded,
"
that's rather acute of you.
Intriguing.
Go on
."
"Well!" said Jack.
"In that case, it follows that you don't actually
want
my universe to end.
Do you?
I mean, if that happens, then you'll have to find something else to play with!"
The Dragon did not answer.
"In fact, I reckon you'd be pretty pleased if you didn't really have to destroy us.
In
fact
, Jack added, hardly believing in his own audacity, "you don't really want to kill
me
at all either!"
There were another few seconds of silence — seconds that felt, to Jack, very long indeed.
Then Charlie shoved his way into the throne room.
Esme appeared beside him.
"Jack!" they shouted.
"Jack!
No!
"
And they set about trying to rescue him.
Charlie — Jack was surprised (and at the same time kind of pleased) to notice — was crying; his eyes were red and puffy, and guilty tears were pouring down his cheeks.
Even Esme looked worried — but she was the first to catch Jack's eye and interpret the few frantic and secretive gestures he could manage, glued as he was to the throne.
"It's all right, mate!
I'm coming!
We'll just get you out of—
ow!
What?" sputtered Charlie, when Esme grabbed him and roughly pulled him a couple of steps back.
"What are you—?"
"Wait," said Esme.
There was a rumbling from all around them, and a whispering, crackling, rustling sound as the fleshy walls began to shrink back.
"
I have decided
,"
the Dragon's voice announced,
"
that on this occasion the universe shall be spared.
I have also decided
"
— Jack held his breath —
"
to allow this boy to live
."
"
I like you
," it added, in a quieter voice that Jack knew only he could hear.
"
You're
interesting
.
However, your enquiring nature has made you most impertinent.
If your universe had more like you in it, then I might have to destroy it for my own peace of mind.
Do I make myself clear
?"
"No problem," said Jack fervently.
"
The Dragon has spoken
,"
said the voice.
"
Be sure of what you want of me, foolish mortals, before you disturb my ancient slumber again
."
Not wanting to push his luck any further that he had already, Jack kept his mouth shut.
Then, for a long moment, he thought about it.
He thought about God, about the god who'd created God, and the god who'd created the god who created God, and so on.
He thought about what it all might mean for himself and his life and his place in existence.
He thought, in that moment, about the meaning of it all — and wondered, briefly, whether there actually
was
one.
But then the throne released him.
And
then
Esme threw her arms around him.
And suddenly, Jack found that, actually, he didn't really care.
*
*
*
*
*
"So," said the elder Chinj, much later, "you have fulfilled you promise.
You have returned to throw yourself upon our mercy — to prostrate yourself," it added, "before the righteous wrath of the Grand Cabal.
I confess, small human, I am surprised."
"Yeah, well," said Jack.
"A promise is a promise."
"And let me remind you," said the elder Chinj, "and all those here present, of what that promise consisted!"
"
Get on with it!
" squeaked a voice from the back row of the flock, to a dangerous chatter of agreement.
"You have agreed, in accordance with our most holy laws," intoned the elder Chinj, scowling furiously, "to pay for your heinous crimes.
You have promised," it added, "to make good your gross violation of our most sacred byways.
YOU HAVE SAID," it shrieked, reaching a fever pitch of ferocity, "THAT WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE LIKE WITH YOU!"
"That's right," said Jack, when the flock had quieted down enough for him to make himself heard.
"I did."
"Well," said the elder Chinj, suddenly going quiet.
"The parliament of Chinj, in its infinite wisdom, has decided to be —
muhnuhmuful
."
It coughed, covering its mouth with one withered paw.
"I'm sorry!" said Jack.
"I didn't quite catch that."
"We've... decided to be...
mmmuhful
," said the elder Chinj, with obvious reluctance.
"I'm really sorry," said Jack politely.
"But I still didn't—"
"We're going to let you live!" snapped the elder Chinj.
"All right?
Satisfied?"
It turned and stumped its way out of the cave, which, by now, was ringing with cheers.