The Bleeding Crowd (11 page)

He stood, wrapping his arms around her waist.
“I can make sure that I’m especially ass-like afterwards if it
makes you feel better. Circumvent that whole attachment thing.”

“Is sex really that important to you?”

“Well, I’m a man, so, yeah.”

She smiled. “You know, I’m going to say it
again, if you’re going to try not to be a stereotype, you’re going
to have to stop picking and choosing what stereotypes you like
because you can use them as excuses.”

“Well, not all stereotypes are wrong,” he
said. “Just a lot of them.”

“Convenient.”

He slid his hand under the hem of her shirt,
resting it on the small of her back. “If you truthfully aren’t
attracted to me, or aren’t... whatever, just tell me that. However,
if you’re just afraid of, I don’t know, actually caring about a
man, caring about me, I don’t think that’s a good enough
excuse.”

“I don’t want to talk about this, Ben.” She
leaned away from him, her back arching over his hand that was
keeping her in place.

“What if I do?”

“I’m the one who has the ability to leave the
building.”

“You’ve run every other time I’ve tried to
talk to you. You think you’re going to be able to avoid the topic
forever?”

“You aren’t going to be here forever,” she
said. “You’ve got another four weeks and then the three months is
up.”

“Then what are you going to tell the next
guy?”

“I don’t think I have to tell any of you
anything.”

“Any of us,” he repeated. “Men you mean?”

“Well, you especially, since you have no way
to stick around long enough to wear me down, but I’m very good at
avoiding things I don’t want to talk about in general.”

“You’re better than us anyway, so who cares
what we want to say.”

Dahlia frowned. “I didn’t say that.”

“But you think it.” He released her.

“When have I ever said I was better than
you?”

“Let’s see.” He crossed his arms. “The first
time you met me?”

“Fair enough,” she said. “But since I got to
know you?”

He stepped away from her.

“Ben... Benjamin, you’re obviously very
smart, and caring, and a hundred other things I didn’t know men
could be. I didn’t mean anything by what I said, and I’ve never
thought what you’re accusing me of. If I say something that sounds
insulting... it’s a slip.”

“Slip.”

“Yes,” she said. “I grew up with twenty years
of how good women were and how great life had been since we got rid
of you. Our entire language is femicentric. It’s easy enough to
slip. I’m sorry. I’m doing my best, really.”

He didn’t respond.

“Have I ever tried to degrade you, Ben?
You’re human. I’ve admitted that more than once.” She smiled
slightly. “Even if you’re a mutated one.”

He scoffed. “You know you had just as much a
chance as I did of coming out with a Y-chromosome.”

“Maybe,” Dahlia agreed. “Maybe it’s fate,
luck, or just plain chance. Whatever it was, it just means I was
raised in a different way by different people from you.”

He swallowed. “It means we’re both human and
at one point we were equals. Actually, at one point we were
superior. Women were marginalized. The balance finally hit equal
and then—”

“Ben, please.” Dahlia held up a hand. “All
your alternate history stories give me a headache. Anyway, what
does the past matter? We live here and now. We can’t do anything
about the past or even prove what was in the past.”

“When your life is crap in the ‘here and
now’, Lia, you tend to have to look at the past so you can think
about the future.”

She looked at him, taking a deep breath. “I’m
sorry, all right? I’m sorry that your life is so awful.”

“It’s not just my life,” Ben said. “It’s the
life of every single damn person with the misfortune of being born
with a Y-chromosome. Every new regime needs an enemy. We drew the
short straw this time around.”

“What short...?” Her eyebrows furrowed and
then she waved it off. “Never mind. Just... everything in our world
is set up on the idea that we’re better off with you away from
us.”

“Maybe it’s time to set up a different world
then,” he said.

She frowned and put off asking the question
as long as she could. “What do you mean?”

“Things changed once.” He paused. “People
could change it again.”

“I don’t know where you’re going with this,
Ben.” She crossed her arms. “But if it’s going where I think it’s
going, you’re talking treason.”

“Treason.” He raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
Dahlia moved towards the bathroom.

“What?” He moved after her. “Do they have
surveillance on you in your room?”

“Of course not.” She turned, resting her hand
on the doorframe.

“Then what does it hurt to talk?”

“When you’re talking about... what is it you
are talking about? Revolution?”

“If we stuck all of you in camps and used you
only when we wanted sons would you be happy with your lot in
life?”

Dahlia threw up her hands. “I can’t listen to
this, Ben. I’m already protecting you from the whole hacking thing.
If you are trying to start... anything, any trouble, don’t tell me
about it. I can’t know about it.”

He looked at her for a long moment and then
shrugged. “It’s all hypothetical.”

“A dangerous hypothetical,” Dahlia said.
“Especially for you. I don’t think the whole Rights of the Accused
thing extends to men.”

“Not a whole lot extends to us.”

She swallowed and nodded in acknowledgement.
“I suppose it would be easy for someone in your situation to hate
us. To hate women.”

“Are you trying to say I’m a misogynist?”

“No.” Dahlia shook her head. “Just saying
it’s interesting that you don’t seem to have some sort of antipathy
towards me. Seems to be quite the opposite really.”

He released a breath and moved towards her
again. He brushed a piece of hair out of her face, gently pulling
her out of the doorway. “I’m sorry. It’s a touchy subject.”

She nodded.

“Anyway, it’s not your fault you were
brainwashed.”

She raised an eyebrow, leaning away from him.
“Excuse me?”

“They’ve spent over three-hundred years
making women believe men are all that is wrong with the world.
You’re a product of your society. I suppose I blame them, not
you.”

She tapped her fingers on her leg, nervous.
“Blame is a dangerous thing.”

He smiled. “You seem to think any sort of
emotion is dangerous.”

She pressed her lips together in a thin line.
“It depends on the emotion.”

“Well, you can be reasonable.” He stepped
closer again, slipping his arm around her waist to force her to
stop tapping. “I’m done with trying that. I’m perfectly comfortable
being a slave to my emotions.”

“Are we really back here again?”

“Seems that way.” He kissed her neck. “No
better way of making up after a fight.”

“Ben—”

“I still think you’re attractive. I still
like you. It seems we’ll keep coming back to that.”

“How is it possible you can consistently be
more and more annoying?” She leaned back and only succeeding in
sandwiching herself between him and the wall.

“Please?” He continued to kiss her neck.

“Why are you so stubborn?”

“I thought we had covered that.”

She sighed. “Just...”

“Just what?”

“Give me one second, okay?” She placed her
hands on his chest, careful to keep them below his collarbone. “I
need to look at something.”

“Look at something?” Ben frowned.

“Please?”

He hesitated, but then nodded, stepping
back.

She moved towards her desk to pick up a
book.

“You really need this to be your reading
time?” He frowned.

“Looking up endorphins.”

“Seriously?” he asked.

“Shh.” She waved him away.

“You also want to make a pro/con list?”

“Do you want me to stop reading anytime
soon?” She sent him a look.

He held up his hands, sitting down on the end
of her bed.

She sat, knee bouncing as she studied the
page for a long moment. At last, she released a breath and then
shut the book with a snap.

“So.” Ben watched her. “What’s the verdict,
Doc?”

She swallowed and stood, turning to face him.
“You promise you’ll be a complete jerk afterwards?”

“I’ll do my best to be the biggest jackass
ever.” Ben nodded.

She smiled, but it soon faded. “Well, if
we... I mean, well, I understand the basic logistics, but...”

He smiled, standing up and taking her hands.
He moved backwards, pulling her to the bed. Carefully he pushed her
down, moving on top of her.

“Not eager are you,” she said leaning her
head back as he kissed her neck and then her collarbone.

“I’ve only been angling for this for, what? A
month and a half?”

She relaxed, letting him kiss down her chest,
to where her neckline fell. She frowned a moment. “Am I supposed to
feel completely awkward?”

“Will you just shut up and enjoy yourself?”
He spoke against her skin.

“I’ve never had someone on top of me,” she
said. “Well, there was that one gym class, but that was a missed
tackle.”

“I didn’t know you played contact sports,” he
said.

“It wasn’t meant to be, but... whoa!” She
jumped as he pulled her shirt up a little.

He smiled, keeping a strong hold of the shirt
hem until he could slip it over her head. “Keep talking. You’re
less stiff when you talk.”

“That isn’t strange?”

“What is?”

“Me wanting to talk through this?”

“Well, being normal is overrated.” He kissed
her stomach.

She gasped. “Should I be doing
something?”

“Don’t need to.” He slid his hands down to
the button of her jeans. “Keep talking. What happened in gym?”

“Well, I was twelve, so I was in Rose
then...”

“Rose?” he mumbled.

“The color?” she said breathlessly. “It’s
what you wear when you’re put on the top academic track.”

“Hmm.” He undid her pants. “Hips up.”

She lifted her hips up absentmindedly,
letting him slide off her pants. “Even when you’re not on a
physical track you have to take gym, but then again, we aren’t the
most physically astute people. My friend, Joan—she’s an engineer
now, quite a good one so I hear—was a complete klutz in school, so
when we were playing... what are you doing?”

He slid back up over her, kissing her neck
again. “Nothing. Go on.”

She watched him kick off his pants.
“Honestly, Ben. Shouldn’t I be doing something?”

“Just calm down.” He kissed her mouth with a
light touch. “There’s no wrong way to do this.”

“So, if I just close my eyes and lie
here...”

“I’m sure I’d get by.” He smiled, pulling her
bra off. “Open your legs a little.”

She did.

“Are you really this nervous or just not into
this at all?”

“I’m just used to doing more at this
point.”

“Do you trust me?” He smiled.

“Not really.”

“At least in this?”

“I suppose.”

“Then stop thinking so much.”

Dahlia nodded, pressing her lips
together.

He kissed her, trailing his lips towards her
neck as he repositioned himself. “Keep talking if you need to.”

“I... I... uh...” Dahlia stammered, finally
just shook her head when she couldn’t get a coherent sentence
together.

He pulled his head back, just enough to look
at her. “Dahlia.”

She looked at him, eyes wide.

“Do you want me to stop?”

She hesitated a moment, shook her head.

“Then trust me,” he barely whispered. “Can
you do that?”

Just another slight hesitation, and she
nodded, lifting her lips just enough to meet his.

It was all the invitation he seemed to need.
He pressed forward. She gasped, wrapped herself around him, and
felt him smile against her skin.

He dropped his head, brought his lips next to
her ear as she began to fall into his rhythm. “Good. Relax. Trust
me.”

Chapter Seven

Dahlia groaned as the chimes of her alarm
went off. Nothing in her wanted to move. She lay in bed, warm,
relaxed, cursing the pad for being on the other wall. One more
minute and she’d get herself up. The chiming suddenly turned off.
Dahlia frowned, easing her eyes open and levering herself up onto
her forearms.

Ben looked over sheepishly. “Sorry.”

“What did you do?” she said.

“I pressed the button.” He pointed at the
keypad. “Those things nearly gave me a heart attack. I was standing
right next to them.”

“Your heart’s fine.” She shook her head,
still frowning. “Why are you up?”

“I was just looking out the window.” He
shrugged. “There were some women knocking around the fountain out
there earlier. I’m surprised they didn’t wake you.”

“Oh, they’re always trying to fix that.”
Dahlia stretched, wrapping her blanket around her body before
standing to look out the window. “It’s been broken for as long as
I’ve been living here. I suppose I’m used to them, how did you put
it, ‘knocking around’?”

He nodded, slipping his arms under the
blanket and around her waist. “I take it they can’t see in
here.”

“Not when the glass is sort of smoky looking
like it is,” she said. “When it’s like that you can only see
through it one way.”

He nodded, kissing her neck.

She pulled back a bit. “You promised last
night you’d be a jerk right now, don’t you remember?”

He hummed noncommittally. “Can I start after
breakfast?”

She broke away from him. Looking at the time,
she sighed. “Now or never. I need to get ready for work.”

“Seriously?” He turned to watch her.

“Seriously.” She opened the closet and tossed
the blanket back on the bed. “There’s cereal in the headboard if
you want it. I don’t think I have any milk though.”