The Bleeding Crowd (27 page)

“Yeah?” Des asked.

“What happened to ‘Mia’?”

“She was camping,” Heather said, “and now is
very, very lost in the woods. That should give you a good while
before she finds her way home.”

“You dropped her off in the woods?” Dahlia
frowned.

“She was camping. She obviously likes the
great outdoors.”

“Rather serendipitous.” Dahlia looked at the
card, cautious. “A legislator who looks like me out in the
woods?”

“We’ve got some higher power looking out for
us,” Des said.

“We can only hope.” Dahlia sighed, praying
Des was right.

“We looked into it,” Maria said. “She’s
quiet, keeps to herself mostly. You should be able to slip in her
place with none the wiser.”

“When’d you get all this intel?” Jack placed
his hand near Dahlia’s leg, not touching, but close enough.”

“We needed a plan,” Des said. “We got what we
needed done.”

“It’s as good a plan as any,” Dahlia said. “I
made it all the way here impersonating other women. I think I can
do it once more.”

“But you were impersonating people the people
around you didn’t know,” Ben said.

“We’re all probably living on borrowed time
as it is, Ben,” she said. “No reason to do things halfway.”

“It doesn’t have to be her.” He looked at
Des. “Heather looks pretty much just like Dahlia.”

“Not just like.” Dahlia shook her head.
“Similar maybe.”

“Well, you aren’t exactly this Mia girl’s
twin.”

“Heather can shoot a gun,” Dahlia said. “If I
don’t do this, what am I supposed to do?”

“Dahlia knows how to act in adult society. I
haven’t dealt with straight women since I left school,” Heather
said. “We have to play to our strengths.”

“It’s why you want to risk your life putting
out a call to arms.” Dahlia focused on Ben.

He released a breath and then looked away
from her.

“Okay then,” Des said. “Tomorrow Dahlia goes
to the capital. Two of the guards will stay in the forest to wait
for a signal from her. Ben will head out to convert people to the
cause, and the rest of us are going to the weapons store.”

“Tomorrow?” Dahlia frowned.

“No point in waiting,” Des said. “We’re going
to run out of food soon.”

“Okay then.” Dahlia squeezed Jack’s hand and
then stretched. “I’m going to bed. You know, try to pretend like
I’m not terrified.”

“You’ll do great, Lia,” Heather said.

“You don’t know that,” Dahlia responded.

“Come on.” Heather stood and nodded for
Dahlia to follow her. She glanced at Jack. “I’ll bring her right
back.”

Dahlia didn’t question Heather’s directions,
letting her sister lead her a little ways from camp. She waited for
her to stop before speaking. “Aren’t you scared?”

“Of course I’m scared.” Heather forced a
smile. “We all are.”

Dahlia nodded. “I’m terrified.”

“You don’t have to do this, just so you
know,” Heather said. “If you don’t think you can, you can choose
not to do it. We’re not going to twist your arm or tie you up and
throw you into town.”

“If I didn’t go.” Dahlia frowned. “What would
I do then?”

“Stay here.” Heather shrugged. “Wait.”

“You need my help.”

“We’d figure something out.”

Dahlia sighed. “I think the waiting would
drive me more insane than the fear in town. I can do it. I just
feel like, well frankly, like I’m going to lose my mind.”

“It’s understandable.” Heather nodded. “You
know I wouldn’t send you in there, Lia, if I didn’t think that
there was a chance that you’d find your way back out.”

“I love that word.” Dahlia laughed tersely.
“Chance.”

“Lia—”

“I don’t need a cheerleader.” She waved her
off. “I’ve had more than enough of the drawn out name thing. You
need to be worried about yourself too.”

“I know,” Heather said. “I feel some sort of
biological duty to make sure you’re okay. I am your big
sister.”

“Doesn’t mean anything.” Dahlia shook her
head. “I’ve never talked to my...our mother or siblings. We don’t
have—”

“It might mean jack squat,” Heather said.
“Doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to feel a connection to someone
on biological grounds. Family isn’t a bad thing.”

“I suppose,” Dahlia agreed.

* * * *

Ben knelt carefully, glancing at the man
sprawled out on the pallet before touching Dahlia’s shoulder
lightly.

She stirred, unfurling from the tight ball
she had curled into to look at him. She squinted in the darkness.
“Be—?”

He placed a finger on her lips to stop her
from speaking only removing it when he was sure she’d remain quiet.
He motioned for her to follow him.

Dahlia glanced at Jack before rising. She
grabbed a blanket, slinging it over her shoulders rather than
bothering with clothes, and followed him out of the tent and into
the trees. She followed in silence with only a muffled yelp when a
raised root caught her foot and made her stumble.

“Where are we going, Ben? It’s pitch black
out.”

He took her hand, leading her to a break in
the trees where what little light from the waxing crescent moon
wasn’t blocked out by the leaves. He turned to face her.

She pulled the blanket tighter around her. It
wasn’t cold, but the air chilled. “Yes?”

He didn’t say anything.

She sighed. “Ben, we should be asleep.”

He stepped closer, taking the edge of the
blanket and pulled her closer to him. He kissed her. They were
silent for a long moment until they broke apart.

He sighed. “Dahlia, I know you don’t...you
know, we’re probably both going to die soon. I couldn’t just...I
couldn’t...I needed to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“It wasn’t all lies.” He held her against
him.

She frowned. “What?”

“Back home,” he said. “Your home. I lied,
yes. I lied out of my ass most of the time. But everything...not
everything I said was a lie.”

“How am I supposed to know the difference,
Ben?” She shook her head. “You’ve made your life lying to
people.”

“You...” He touched her face gently,
following her jaw line down in the darkness. “You are beautiful.
That wasn’t a lie. You should know that, you’ve had enough men
after you this month.”

“I could be a cow and that would still
probably be true,” she said. “I’m the only woman here who is
willing to have sex with men.”

He pushed the blanket out of the way,
touching her waist. He could feel her ribs under her skin, each one
a distinct bump from the other. “You’ve lost weight.”

“So have you,” she said. “Your pants have
barely been staying on as you walk.”

“You noticed that?”

“It’s a little hard to miss with you pulling
them up every three steps,” she said. “I don’t know why you haven’t
changed into a smaller size.

The pockets at the bottom of his pants felt
heavier. “Superstition I suppose.”

“Superstition about what?” Dahlia
frowned.

“Change,” he said. “Promise me that when
you’re in town tomorrow you’ll eat a big meal.”

She smiled to herself. “I think food is going
to be one of the lesser things on my mind tomorrow.”

“Just promise me?” He ran his hands up her
back along her spine. “Give me that piece of mind at least?”

She shivered, unsure if it was from his touch
or from the cold. “If we’re both going to die anyway, why does food
matter?”

“Better to die on a full stomach, I
imagine.”

She shook her head. “I’ll order something
large and hearty. Is that all you brought me out here for? I had to
knock myself out to sleep in the first place. I doubt I’ll get much
more of it tonight.”

He continued to run his hands over her,
smiling when her body began to react against him.

She swallowed. “What are you doing, Ben?”

He kissed her. “Please, Lia. Can we just
stop....everything? Just for tonight. No thinking. No questions.
Just...tonight.”

She opened her mouth and then shut it just as
fast, settling on nodding.

Ben pushed the blanket fully off her
shoulders, letting it drop on the ground behind her. She didn’t
move, the faint blue light didn’t do much to illuminate her. He
moved, shaking out the blanket and laying it in a relatively rock
free area. He stood again, seemingly unable to force himself
forward.

At last she turned, looking at his frozen
form for a moment before stepping forwards a little. She slid her
hands under his shirt, peeling it off him. He let her, remaining
otherwise stationary. She tossed the shirt aside.

“You aren’t going to do anything?”

“What?” He watched her as best he could.

“This is what you wanted, I take it?
Sex?”

He didn’t respond.

“Me?”

He laughed slightly. “Do you always have to
be matter-of-fact about everything?”

“How else should I be?”

He didn’t respond, stepping so he was pressed
against her. “You are beautiful.”

“Thank you,” she said, tilting her head to
let him kiss her neck. “Though you can’t really see me. I can
barely make you out.”

“I saw you a couple hours ago,” he said. “I
doubt you’ve suddenly deteriorated.”

“Not if you’ve still thought I was beautiful
after days of sleeping on the ground and not washing.”

“You’re always beautiful,” he said.

“To you maybe.”

“To me.” He kissed her. “Lay down?”

“Is that a question or an order?”

“Have you ever listened to one of my orders,
Lia?”

She felt her way onto the blanket. “There’s a
first time for everything.”

* * * *

Sometime later, Ben released a breath.
“So...”

Dahlia turned her head. “So?”

“Are we...good?”

“Good?” She frowned at him.

“Are you good?”

“Very.” She nodded.

“Good,” Ben said.

“Pleasantest time we’ve spent together in
weeks,” she said. “A month.”

Ben nodded.

“Maybe we just need to have sex.”

Ben looked at her. “What?”

“We’re just, I don’t know, fiery enough, I
suppose, that we need an outlet. Maybe the only way we can coexist
is if we have sex.”

Ben laughed. “Figures we couldn’t have come
to that conclusion sooner.”

“Well, we’re us.” Dahlia shrugged.

“What does that mean?”

“
I’m not sure I know. I suppose it’s a
good note to go out on at least, us not fighting.”

He didn’t respond, running a hand over her
stomach lightly, tracing no distinct pattern.

“Why are you not terrified?” she asked.

“What?” He didn’t look away from her
stomach.

“We’re probably going to die.”

“I think that’s been pretty well stated.” He
nodded.

“So how are you not terrified?”

“Who says I’m not?”

“You don’t seem scared.”

“Neither do you,” he said.

“Really?”

He shook his head.

“Probably the sedative I took,” she said,
“because I’m terrified. Beyond terrified. I’m petrified.”

He pulled her closer to him, wrapping the
blanket around them. “You know you don’t have to do this. If
it’s...if it’s too much for you, it’s not too late to change the
plan.”

“That’s what Heather said,” Dahlia rearranged
herself so she could look at the sky while resting on his
chest.

“Well it’s true,” he said, gazing at her
profile. “We aren’t going to force you to do anything you don’t
want to do. Anything you don’t think you can do.”

“I can do it,” Dahlia said, “I’m just
terrified.”

“Anything I can do to make you be less
terrified?”

“Nothing that won’t be empty platitudes.” She
sighed. “You are scared though?”

“I’m human, aren’t I?”

“You try to hide that fact quite a bit.”

“I get scared, Lia,” he said. “Quite a lot in
fact.”

Silence started to stretch on between
them.

“I was scared when you were sick,” he
admitted.

She nodded. “Thank you for that, by the
way.”

“For what?”

“For risking your life for me.”

“You risked yours for me.” He shrugged with
the shoulder she wasn’t lying on. “You’ve risked yours for me many
times.”

“Why don’t we just call it equal then?”

“I suppose,” Ben said. “Rest of the guys
still owe you big time though.”

She smiled. “Good to know.”

“Yeah, so you can call them in on that
whenever you feel the need.”

She nodded. “You don’t miss home I take
it.”

“Home?”

“You know...”

“I do, I suppose,” he said. “I just don’t
have much to miss. Do you miss it?”

“I’ve been homesick for weeks.” Dahlia
nodded. “I miss my friends. I miss getting up and just being able
to go to work. I miss my room.”

“Heather hit the nail on the head,” Ben
mumbled.

“Hmm?”

“You gave up more than anyone else here,” he
said. “We were already in a crappy situation. You weren’t. You were
in charge. Privileged. A woman. A heterosexual woman. A smart
heterosexual woman at that. You were the cream of the crop.”

“And now?”

“Now you’re down here with the rest of the
dregs of society.”

“I don’t think it’s been a completely
worthless experience though.” Dahlia turned her head to look at
him.

“No?”

She took a breath. “I might regret a lot of
things, Ben, but I don’t regret I met you. I might be cold and
miserable, but at this point, it’s better than living a lie. As
much as I may want to go back to what I used to think, I know far
too many smart, interesting men now.”

“Smart and interesting?” He smiled.

“Well, I didn’t mean you, but...” She laughed
as he nudged her. “You are infuriating and I really want to hurt
you many days, but I think I’ve grown as a person from having known
you. I can’t regret that. If we don’t grow, what’s life for?”