The Bloody Road to Death (26 page)

‘If they send us back from there,’ says Tiny tiredly, 7 am goin’ over to the bleedin’ enemy. I’ve got to get back into the war an’ get a bleedin’
rest
!

One morning early, they are walking along a muddy road. Tanks and artillery rumble past, splashing them as they go.

In the distance they can hear the rumble of the front line. Thousands of explosions paint the sky a bloody red. The final part of the trip they make on motorcycles.

They’re back at last.

‘Still alive I see,’ says Oberst Hinka, a trifle surprised, apparently. ‘How are things at home?’

‘Ploughed under, sir,’ answers Porta. ‘Our enemies are really going to town on the Fatherland. They’ve begun to take things far too seriously.’

‘Herr Oberst, sir,’ grins Tiny. ‘Request to report the enemy ’ave finally learnt
real
German thoroughness!’

‘
Your task is to execute the orders I issue and not to discuss them
.

‘
Go back to your work, gentlemen, and do not entangle yourselves in politics
.’

Hitler to a group of generals,
October, 1937
.

Without our oberst none of us would’ve got out. They shot at everything that moved, even our signal-dogs,’ explains an obergefreiter with bandaged eyes. ‘Companies were down to fifteen or twenty men, and there were fires everywhere. More than five hundred wounded were laid out in the factory. A lot of them killed themselves by rolling over to the hoists and letting themselves drop. Nobody was in any doubt about what’d happen if they fell into the hands of the Russians
. . .’

‘
But how did
you
get out?’ asks a gefreiter amongst the crowd standing around the bed
.

Well, see, that was a case apart. It was sabotage of orders, as they call it, or certain death, but our oberst made a firm decision and ordered us to retreat. That was after both his sons had fallen. They were both leutnants and had command of companies. Wounded were to go with us, ordered the oberst. They were loaded on sleds and off we went into the snowstorm. A lot died during the march. We marched through the Russian lines with our oberst in the lead with an Mpi under his arm. Ski-troops were bashing at us all the time. The oberst had all the guns spiked, so’s we could use the horses to pull the sleds with the wounded.
’

What the devil are you saying, man?’ shouts a feldwebel, indignantly. ‘Ruin your own artillery? A
fine
leader, by God!
’

‘
You weren’t there, chum. You had to go through it to realize what it was like. Cossacks with drawn sabres, and ski-troops with flaming Mpi’s. 45° Centigrade below and a snowstorm!
You’d
have loved it, wouldn’t you, mate
?’

‘
Who’re you ceiling mate?’ roars the feldwebel ’Can’t you see Pm an NCO?
’

‘
I can’t see anything at all nowadays, chum! I lost my eyes in the snowstorm. Ice, you understand. To me you’re just a voice
.’

‘
Blind or not you’re still a soldier, obergefreiter!’ roars the feldwebel, fiery red in the face. ‘You can stand to attention still Pull yourself together, now, or I’ll have you on orders for refusing to obey an order. Let’s see your paybook!
’

The blind man turns his paybook over to the feldwebel, who prints name and unit down, conscientiously, in a notebook
.

All round him wounded soldiers are growling under their breaths
.

‘
Quiet!’ roars the feldwebel, ’or I’ll have the lot of you on orders.’ He stamps out of the field hospital
.

‘
What
about
this oberst of yours who blew up his guns?’ asks a Pioneer who has had both legs amputated
.

‘
An oberstleutnant from GEFEPO came and took him away the day after we broke through. Two days later he was in front of a board. All the witnesses were on his side and our divisional general spoke for him but they still shot him the day after. You know the charge. Sabotaging his orders
.’

‘
Swine!’ comes from over in the corner. Nobody takes the feldwebel’s part
.

 
1
. Barras: Slang term for the Army.

 
2
. Iron Gustav: See
March Battalion
.

 
3
. Ausbildungskompagni: Instruction company.

 
4
.
Job tvojemadj
(Russian oath): Go fuck your mother.

 
5
. WH (Wehrmacht-Heer): Army (WD).

 
6
. Ajutante di Battaglia: WO.1.

 
7
. Grôfaz (Grôsster Feldherr aller Zeiten): The greatest military leader of all times (cant name for Hitler).

 
8
. Flak: Anti-aircraft

 
9
. Suomi: Slang for Finnish Mpi.

10
. Hug ind, etc.: Strike hard, Northern boys!

11
. Malo, etc.: Many thanks.

12
. Nic hamm, etc.: We have nothing to eat.

13
. Nicn ham: Nothing to eat.

14
. Jabo’s: Fighter bombers.

15
. Blitzmädel: Female telegraphists.

As soon as we get the order to fall out, we drag ourselves into the huts and drop down half-dead. The company was supposed to have held Deadman’s Heights for another three days, but the
company
has gone out of existence. The greater part of us lie in mass graves. The lucky ones are in the field hospital. Dead-man’s Heights are just what the name implies, A hell on earth for the living.

None of us has the energy to go for rations. One thought only possesses us. Sleep! Forget the ten days you have just been through. We stumble into the mouldering billet and fall at once into a deathlike sleep.

The Army’s harsh demands pull us back to reality. Our new Spiess
¹
, Hauptfeldwebel Blatz, wants a roll-call. He still thinks he is at Neuruppin NCO’s School, together with Hauptmann von Pader, our temporary OC.

Grumbling and with murder in our hearts we fall in on the square.

‘Where are the rest of you?’ shouts Blatz, irritably.

‘They’ll be a long time coming,’ grins Oberfeldwebel Berner, disrespectfully. ‘They’re pushin’ up the daisies!’

‘Call the roll!’ orders Blatz, sharply. He has it called several times over before he is satisfied.

‘Tally the dead! Tally the wounded!’

‘125 fallen, 19 missing, 42 wounded, sir!’ barks the Old Man, stiffly to attention.

Blatz goes white, but quickly pulls himself together. Not for nothing was he recognized as the terror of the NCO’s school. He doubles us across country; to get some life back into us, he says. He is not satisfied until two men drop unconscious.

‘I’m gonna
get
that bastard!’ promises Gregor, grinding his teeth.

‘No, son, it’ll be
my
pleasure,’ laughs Porta, wickedly.

‘I’ll drive the bleeder mad first, the bleedin’ psycho twatt,’ says Tiny. He pulls himself up to his full height and screams, to everybody’s surprise:

‘C-o-o-ompany
halt
!

‘Who said
that
?’ roars Blatz, his neck reddening.

‘The fai-ai-ai-ries,’ comes like an echo from Tiny’s direction.

Blatz explodes in foaming rage and chases across the field after the company.

‘You! What’s your name?’ snarls Blatz, sticking his face close to Tiny’s.

‘
Me?
’ asks Tiny putting on an idiotic expression, and pointing a finger at his own chest.

‘Are you crazy?’ asks Blatz, softly.

‘Sir, ’Err ’auptfeldwebel, sir, I be backward they do say them army doctors do, sir,’ says Tiny, putting on a yokel’s accent.

‘I asked you your name!’

‘I did think as ’ow the ’auptfeldwebel ’e wanted to know if I was a idiot like, now I did, sir.’

‘You’ll get to know me, man!’ snarls Blatz, threateningly.

‘An’ ’appy to know the ’err ’auptfeldwebel I’ll be. Them doctors do say as ’ow it be good for I to get to know many as I can.’

‘To the woods! At the double, man!’ roars Blatz, beside himself.

Tiny jogs off towards the woods with a broad, stupid grin on his face.

‘
Run
, man,
run!
’ screams Blatz desperately. Tiny stops and holds his hand to his ear, as if he were deaf.

‘Run, man, run!’repeats Blatz.

Tiny trots back to the company.

‘About-turn!’ howls Blatz. ‘Forward march! Into the woods!’

Tiny continues to approach the company.

‘Halt!’ orders Blatz. ‘Down on your face! Twenty push-ups! ’Shun! Knees bend! Port arms!’

In the end he gets mixed up in his own orders. Sweat pours
down his face. He looks like a sandstone monument eroded by rain.

Tiny has stayed lying down as if that was the last order he has understood. He puts one hand under his chin and looks up good-naturedly at the desperate Hauptfeldwebel.

‘I do reckon, ’err ’auptfeldwebel, sir, as ’ow I can’t get all them orders like to go into my ’ead
quick
enough. They says to me now, when I was in trainin’ like, as ’ow an order ’ad to be clear. That was in the
manual
, they said. Now I can’t folly all them orders all at once, like, an’ I must ask the ’auptfeldwebel as if ’e’ll ’ave the goodness to say now what ’e wants me to do for ’im, like!’

Without a word Blatz turns on his heel and marches with assured steps into the Company Office. Shortly after, he returns in the wake of Hauptmann von Pader, who looks extremely energetic.

‘What are you doing lying down there playing the fool?’ he sniffs at Tiny.

‘’Err ’auptmann, sir, I be obeyin’ orders like, I be,’ answers Tiny.

‘Get up, man!’

Tiny gets up like an old, old man, using his carbine to help him.

Hauptmann von Pader goes purple in the face.

‘You’re confined to quarters indefinitely!’ he says, shortly.

‘What’s that for, now, sir?’ asks Tiny, wonderingly.

‘You swine!’ shouts von Pader, losing control of himself. He regrets the outburst as soon as the word leaves his lips. A Prussian officer should be able to control his anger.

‘’Ow’s this then, ’err ’auptman, sir, ’ow’s this? Arrestin’ a
swine
for bein’ what ’e be? Why then the ’ole German army’ll soon be in the ’ole then for there ain’t none as ain’t swine in ’er, now is there?’

‘Have you lost your mind, man?’ screams von Pader, his voice cracking. ‘Are you saying that all German soldiers are swine?’

‘Well sir the Quartermaster, ’Err Sauer ’e do say as ’ow we’re all on us a lot o’ Jew wart ’ogs ’e do, an’ Doctor Miiller ’e says as ’ow we’re a lot o’ malingerin’ swine.’

‘Attention!’ whines Hauptmann von Pader, dark blue in the face. ‘Forward march! At the double! To the woods!’

Tiny moves off like a man shot from a gun. Nobody can say he is not carrying out orders. Reaching the woods he runs into a tree and continues running on the spot up against it with high-lifted knees.

‘Go round the tree!’ screams von Pader, stamping the ground hysterically. ‘Double march! Quick march! Go round all trees!’

The devil takes hold of Tiny. He runs straight up over the brow of a hill, disappears into the valley beyond, appears on top of another hill, zig-zags through the trees, whinnies happily and rears up like a horse.

‘Halt, halt!’ screams von Pader, his voice breaking several times over, but Tiny, who is a long way off, pretends not to hear him and continues to run, prance and whinny.

He disappears over a hill but long after he has gone from sight we can hear him whinnying.

‘The moment that man returns,’ pants von Pader, ’he is to be manacled and kept locked in a cellar until the military police can remove him!’

The company falls out. We see nothing of Tiny. The woods and hills have swallowed him up. Porta says he has deserted to Berlin and at the speed he is moving he’ll have got there before long.

Hauptmann von Pader writes several pages of a report on No. 5 Company in general and Tiny in particular. Oberst Hinka is expecting it. He has heard about Tiny’s one-man rodeo show from other sources.

The Hauptmann’s monocle falls from his eye in astonishment when he hears the CO’s snarl on the telephone.

‘What the hell are you up to von Pader? Pack drill with your company during a special rest period which
I
ordered. When the men get back from the line they’re to
rest
!
Rest!
D’you understand me?’ The oberst bangs down the receiver so hard that von Pader is nearly deafened.