The Boat of Fate (51 page)

We are going back, to what was once her home. Tomorrow, or the next day, we shall leave. I plan to travel west, retracing my previous route. Beyond Numidia, nobody knows for certain what we shall find. There will be dangers; but I still have the armband given me by Vidimer, I can still clack my few stiff words of German. There are Burgundians both in Hispania and Gaul; we shall have, I think, as good a chance as any. Some trade with Britannia still goes on; we shall follow the coast, try and find a ship bound for the island. If the Gods are generous we shall move north, through and beyond the Wall. There we shall find a tower, reflected in a lake, and the homes of Crearwy’s people; and there perhaps, beyond what was the Empire, we shall find rest.

Few of the Celts remain now. Over the years, the blood ties finally dissolved; there was nothing left, anywhere, for which to fight. Some married and raised families; others drifted away, into the great limbo of the West. But Riconus has stayed. He intends to travel with us. The years have streaked his beard with grey; but he remains as jaunty as ever, and is optimistic as to his fate. He has taken a Roman name, a high-flown name, Arturius; he swears he will wed some wild Princess, and breed a race of Kings.

It has come to me of late that I should like a daughter or a son, but Crearwy has remained barren. I think she uses some skill or knowledge from her native land, but I haven’t questioned her, and never will. She had a family once; and no man can own the earth. Even the Emperors found that.

This manuscript I shall send, not to Roma, but to Constantinopolis. There at least it may survive for a time; or perhaps, like us, it will vanish. For myself, I have come to a composition with my fate. The childhood dreams of glory are gone, destroyed in that Britannic field. Future ages, certainly, will never hear my name; but it is the here, and the now, that are important. To wake, and sleep, and know that one is loved; to hear, as I hear now, the whisper of a footfall; to feel the touch of hands; these things, above all else, are to be desired. I count myself fortunate in that, for a little while, I have known them.

Time, I think, had bred some tolerance in me; I have become reconciled to many things, even the Christian faith. There is much merit in it; though like Cassianus I misdoubt the future. The Church broke Rome, before Alaric came; and still her power grows. If her dream is realised, she too will found an Empire; and that Empire, over the years, could prove to have in it less mercy, less wisdom and understanding, than the Empire of the Caesars themselves.

I have fallen recently much under the influence of Plotinus and the new followers of Plato. In time, I hope, I may reach understanding; that full understanding without which life is meaningless. I sense, dimly and sporadically, the majesty of the One, Totality, Fulfilment; but my faith and the beliefs I have come to hold would be of no interest here, even were I capable of giving them full expression. It will be enough, perhaps, to speak in the language of metaphor and dreams; to say that, beyond our time and the Lands we know, I have come to feel another may exist. A land of sunshine, and eternal peace. There, perhaps, the children may be said to wait; and there too Crearwy and I may one day travel. For we will build ourselves a home, in that misty country I have never seen, where the red deer shout to the dawn and the heather flows purple to the sea. There we will sit; and there too we will wait. For the Boat of Fate, the White Boat, that Boat that sails for ever.

Some place-names of Hispania and Gaul

Barcino  Barcelona
Burdigala  Bordeaux
Carthago Nova  Cartagena
Corduba  Cordoba
Cottian Hills  Alpes Maritimes
Gades  Cadiz
Gesoriacum (Bononia)  Boulogne
Italica  Nr. Santiponce
Massilia  Marseilles
Mediolanum  Milan
Toletum  Toledo
Valentia  Valencia

The Place-names of Britannia

Abonae  Sea Mills
Anderita  Pevensey
Aquae Sulis  Bath
Caesaromagus  Chelmsford
Calleva of the Atrebates  Silchester
Camulodunum  Colchester
Corinium  Cirencester
Cunetio  Mildenhall
Deva  Chester
Dubris  Dover
Durobrivae  Rochester
Durocornovium  Wanborough
Duxovernum  Canterbury
Eburacum  York
Glevum  Gloucester
Isca of the Dumnonii  Exeter
Isca of the Silures  Caerleon
Lindinis  Ilchester
Lindum  Lincoln
Londinium (Augusta)  London
Luguvalium  Carlisle
Magnis  Carvoran
Manucium  Manchester
Noviomagus  Crayford
Pontes  Staines
Portus Adumi  Portchester
Regulbium  Reculver
Rutupiae  Richborough
Segedenum  Wallsend
Segontium  Caernarvon
Sorviodunum  Old Sarum
Spinis  Speen
Vagniacae  Springhead
Venta  Caerwent
Verlucio  Sandy Lane
Verulamium  St Albans

Her administrative districts

Britannia Prima  Capital at Cirencester
Maxima Caesarensis  Capital at London
Flavia Caesarensis  Capital at Lincoln
Britannia Secunda  Capital at York
Valentia  Capital (probably) at Carlisle

Her rivers

Sabrina Fl.  The Severn
Tamesis Fl.  The Thames

And her islands

Mona Ins.  Anglesey
Vectis Ins.  The Isle of Wight