The Bombs That Brought Us Together (26 page)

I kept the stick in my hand until I was walking through the park; it reverted into being a stick again. As soon as I chucked it away the little monster piped up.
Think about this, Charlie. There’s no going back if you do it. Think about your future. The chemist will be back in business soon.

But what about Pav’s family? I said to myself.

After my reconnaissance mission I went directly to the shed. I needed the peace, some place to take deep breaths. I needed a place to sit and think about Erin F’s touch, to stroke my cheek. I needed to think about what I thought I knew about the two notes. What I’d discovered when I looked at them closely. I needed a place to go through pending events and practise my moves. Visualise my getaway. Mum could tell when I had something on my mind; to her my face was an open book, so it was vital to find a place where I could get all my fear out.

When I opened the shed door everything drained from me. It felt like being picked up and driven into a huge vice. All thoughts of my mission were sucked right out of me in a flash. The more I stared at what was facing me the tighter the vice twisted. The crushing was similar to being kicked
senseless in the stomach; new fear replaced old fear. I couldn’t bring myself to fully enter. The new fear forced me to stand at the door. I couldn’t take my eyes off of it: a rope. A sleeping snake curled around the roof’s jutting wood. The chair had been moved slightly underneath it.

The monster inside urged me to go in and touch it. Yank it down. Do a Tarzan on it
.
A greater power – terror – rooted me to the spot. My eyes watched it dangling. The looped part for the head to fit inside was expertly formed. He must have made that himself. If I wanted to pack it all in I wouldn’t even know how to make a loop.

For a fleeting moment a shocking realisation entered my head, a thing that shamed me: it might be a lot easier to rub out Pav’s sister if he wasn’t here. He could be doing me a favour. There would be no need for any painful confrontation between us.

–
Why you kill sister?

–
The Big Man made me do it, Pav.

–
But this my sister.

–
He said he was going to torture you and your family and make my mum suffer.

–
This not good, Charlie.

–
Sorry, what else could I have done?

–
Come speak with me?

–
He had me by the short and curlies, Pav.

–
OK, but I still no happy.

–
Sorry again. Want to look for some bees?

–
OK.

I was always having these worst-case-scenario thoughts. I felt shame about my friendship flaws with Pav. I mean, how can one mate not recognise when another mate is going through a trauma? In the course of a few days our shed had become a place of death. Death by rope and death by gun. My dream for a place of peace scorched.

I decided to wait in the shed for Pav to arrive. Wait until he came back to do whatever he was planning on doing. And when he returned I’d be there to save him. I took a deep breath and entered, sat on the chair directly underneath the noose. I didn’t touch the rope; I didn’t want my fingers on it. I left it floating in air.

When Pav returned I could tell he was surprised to see me sitting there, as if I’d just scuppered his master plan.

‘Charlie, what you here?’

‘Pav, what the hell is that thing hanging there for?’ I said, pointing to the rope.

‘It is rope.’

‘I know it’s a rope. What’s it doing there, in here? In our shed?’

‘I hang it,’ he said.

‘Pav, are you saying what I think you’re saying?’

‘What you saying?’

‘I’m saying, why is that rope hanging in our shed?’

‘You ask already.’

‘So tell me.’

‘Because I not want to do it in house.’

‘So you thought it was better to do it here, knowing that I’d be the one to find you. I’d be the one to have to tell your parents?’ I paced the shed. Ran my hand through my hair. ‘Why didn’t you talk to me? I could’ve helped.’

‘Help with what?’

‘This,’ I said, pointing to the noose.

‘You thinking … you thinking that I want …’

‘What?’

‘That I want put neck in that,’ he said, pointing to the rope.

‘Yes.’

‘I no want to do that. You crazy guy, Charlie. You funny.’

‘I don’t find that funny at all. I almost had a heart attack when I saw it. I thought … I thought …’ I couldn’t get out what I wanted to say. I could feel the tears trying to ease themselves out of me. Did he not understand all the things I had going on in my head? His expression changed.

‘I sorry, Charlie. But it was letter note.’

‘The note you gave me?’

‘Yes.’

‘What’s that got to do with this?’ I said, pointing to the rope.

‘It say we all hang in house.’

‘I know. I read it, remember?’

‘So I take rope from house and put here.’

Did he not realise that whoever sent that note could’ve quite easily brought their own rope?

‘And you made a noose for them … why?’

Pav frowned. ‘I want see –’ He fell silent and shrugged. I guess stress makes everyone a bit loopy.

‘I no want die, Charlie.’

‘Me neither, Pav.’

‘I no want die in Old Country Military.’

‘Well, if you return there that might happen, Pav.’ He glared at me. ‘It might!’

‘And I no want Little Town Rascals to take us away for beating and raping either.’

‘I doubt that would happen, Pav.’

‘But letter note say so.’

‘It’s just bullying, Pav. Nothing else.’

Pav paused.

Now wasn’t the time to reveal my discovery about the notes; this was all about Pav.

‘Maybe,’ he said. ‘I need much think about.’

‘It might be best to do normal things again,’ I said.

‘What normal things?’

‘Well, getting back to school would be a good start.’ Pav didn’t tut me away or swat my words back at me. ‘You don’t want to fall too far behind.’

‘This what Mercy say too.’

‘Mercy Lewis?’ I said in my high-pitched voice.

‘Yes.’

‘When were you speaking to her, Pav?’

‘She come to house for visit.’

‘
Your
house?’

‘Yes, Mum made Old Country tea.’

‘Tea? For you and Mercy?’ I asked.

What about you?

WHAT ABOUT ME?

‘Yes, and Mum,’ he said.

‘What did Mercy want?’

‘For say hello and see if bruises go away.’

‘I take it you had a good chat with Mercy then?’

‘She nice girl.’

‘She
is
very nice. I think you two would –’

‘She say no point thinking in past.’

‘She has a point, Pav.’

‘She say think about tomorrow.’

‘Mercy is full of wise words.’

‘She wiser lady, Charlie. She say our mind is powerful muscle.’

‘You bet it is …’

‘She say my mind should be like balloon.’

‘A balloon?’

‘On broken string.’

Pav looked upwards, as though he was watching a balloon floating off in the sky.

‘A balloon on a broken string, eh?’ I took a few seconds to ponder this. I could see Mercy’s point. ‘That’s deep, Pav. Do you know what she means by that?’

‘She explain.’

‘It’s good to have your mind as a balloon, don’t you think?’

‘Flying up, up away. Here, there, everywhere.’ Pav was in his own world.

‘Did Mercy teach you that?’

‘Yes, she teached.’

Perhaps Mercy was better at being Pav’s teacher than I was.

‘So you feel happier now? More optimistic about things?’

‘I feel this.’

‘So, Mercy Lewis came to visit you then,’ I said, raising my eyebrow.

‘She visit.’

‘And do you like Mercy?’

‘Shut trap, Charlie.’

‘I think she likes you.’

‘Don’t be dickman.’

‘She must do if she came to our block to see you.’

Pav’s face was getting redder.

‘Zip mouth. We pals, like you and me.’

‘Yeah, pals who do the …’ I smacked my lips three times. Pav leant over in his chair and gave me a belter of a dead arm.
It felt good to be back in the shed cracking jokes and extracting the urine. I had a warm feeling inside, until it returned:

My task.

The Big Man.

Captain Duda, Pav’s sister.

Tell him. You can’t hide it.

I wanted to tell him. A problem shared and all that! My mouth even opened to allow the words time and space to get out. But nothing. Just air and dread. Pav sensed something was wrong.

‘You OK, Charlie?’

‘Yes, yes. Just tired, I think. And hungry.’

See, I’m just Charlie Law, from Little Town. I’m not a Regime supporter. I’m not a Rascal. I’m not much of a fighter, unless you can fight with words on paper. I don’t have enemies, even if they’ve invaded my country. I don’t want to kill anyone. But there are two guns and a load of bullets in my shed, and tomorrow I’m going to shoot my best friend’s sister right between her baby blue blinders … which I didn’t want to do. However, with Mum’s breath on my mind and Pav’s family’s life, I knew there was no place for
didn’t want
any longer. Time was fast running out. What my after-school spying mission told me was that I could do it. I could. Couldn’t I?

‘Maybe you go get food, Charlie,’ Pav said.

‘I think that’s a good idea.’

That night – the night before my mission – Mum was in a bad way. Ever since the bombs came Dad had been saying that a new chemist would open up in no time, but still there was nothing. No questions were asked when I got those inhalers for Mum. But that supply had dried up and she was struggling. Dad rubbed her back, his newspaper untouched. The television was switched off. This was serious.

‘Breathe, Maggie,’ he said as he rubbed her back. ‘Don’t talk, sweetheart; just concentrate on taking short breaths.’

Every so often he pecked her on the side of the head. It was Dad’s turn to have little red spiderweb lines in his eyes. I’d seen those eyes before. Dad was scared again. I thought back to us hiding under the duvet that night the bombs came, how the duvet seemed to protect us. How it was those bombs
that brought us together. I guess the last place Mum wanted to be now was somewhere airless.

‘It’s going to be OK, Dad. Promise,’ I told him.

‘I hope you’re right, son. I hope you’re right.’

‘I think I can get my hands on some inhaler medicine in the next couple of days.’

No time for doubts, Charlie. You’ve got to do this now.

It needed to be now.

‘I don’t think we can wait a couple of days, Charlie,’ Dad said.

Mum’s face was pale and sweaty; her coughing prevented her from talking. Her chest wheezed as the pains intensified.

‘I think we need something
now
,’ Dad said, his mouth shuddering. He kissed Mum again and rubbed her back.

‘What about the hospital?’ I said.

‘Little Town hospital?’ Dad said.

‘Yes.’

‘Your mum can’t go anywhere in this state. If we get stopped at a checkpoint or by one of the patrols we could be there for hours. By the time we get there and by the time we’re processed it could be too late. And there’s no guarantee they’ll have the right medicine anyway – they’ve got serious shortages, Charlie.’

‘What about Old Country hospital?’

‘Old Country hospital?’

‘Yes, they can take Mum there in a helicopter.’

Dad looked at me like I was the biggest idiot in Little Town.
‘It’s too hard to organise something like that at short notice; she needs help fast. She needs help now.’

Any fool could tell that she needed help now. Here’s the stupid thing: all she required was a few deep puffs of her inhaler. That would sort her out and get her back on her feet. Before she knew it she’d be nagging at me to do some menial chore.

I missed her nagging.

You know what you have to do, Charlie.

BUGGER IT!

There was little time to think or explain.

‘Right, I’ll be back soon,’ I said, and bolted for the door. I didn’t wait for Dad’s response. All I heard was ‘Charlie’ as I slammed the front door behind me.

When I got to his block, I made my way up to the second floor. Thankfully there were no guards around. No muscle watching over the door. No sign of protection anywhere. My breathing was heavy. I put my hands on my knees to steady myself, get everything back on an even keel. Then I hammered and pounded the door.

‘Hey! Hey! Hey!’ the voice came from behind.

‘Open,’ I said.

‘Who the hell is this?’

‘Big Man, it’s Charlie. Please open.’

He unclicked the lock and pulled the door towards him, leaving a gap of six inches or so. All I could see was the middle part of his face.

‘What is it, Charlie?’

‘I need –’

‘You better not have come here to pull out of our agreement now.’

‘No, I just need –’

‘You better not be playing the shitbag on me. It’s far too late for that. You know what’ll happen.’

‘I’m not. I need a favour, Big Man.’

‘Another bloody favour?’

‘Please,’ I pleaded.

‘All I do is hand out favours to you, Charlie.’

‘This is serious, Big Man.’

He opened the door wide. I entered, making sure I wasn’t being followed.

‘Get in.’

The house stank of cheap booze, fag smoke and fast food.

WHERE DID HE GET THAT FROM?

‘This better be good,’ he said.

‘It’s my mum …’

‘What about her?’

‘She’s in a bad way, Big Man, she can hardly breathe.’

‘And that has
what
to do with me?’

‘You’re our only hope tonight.’

‘Tell her to stick her head out the window.’

‘She’s really sick. All I need is one inhaler.’

‘I told you, didn’t I? I told you you’d get the stuff when the job was done.’

‘I know you did, and I’m definitely going to –’