The Bond That Consumes Us (22 page)

It had been the oddest sensation. Like her thoughts were being pushed to her from someone else. She knew it had been coming from Taber—his confidence and pride in her projecting out.

She’d also felt his love and his fear.

Now, she tried to find that connection again. Soft, like a dream she couldn’t quite remember, it was just out of reach.

I love you. Come back to me.

She thought the words over and over, praying it would work, that there would be some sign of life.

Love you.

The sensations, warmth, love and lust hit her as Taber jerked against her body, sucking in an audible gasp.

“Easy, big fella,” Davin muttered. “You’re okay.”

“Taber?” She got to her knees and pressed a kiss against his temple. “Taber, are you okay?”

146

“I—”

She looked down to see him fight to get his eyes open. It took a minute, but he somehow managed and looked up into her eyes.

“I will be once Davin gets his hands off me.”

Davin looked at her and grinned. “See, pissy. He’s going to be fine. We still need to get him to med bay.”

“Sara’s enroute,” Sean said from behind Davin. “Welcome back.”

Taber reached up and squeezed Fallon’s arm. She couldn’t speak, tears running down her face, emotion choking her. He was going to be fine.

“I love you,” she whispered to him.

But when he didn’t respond, Fallon felt her world bottom out.

147

Taber stood looking at the door in front of him for a solid minute before he pressed the room chime and waited silently for an answer. It only took a moment for Kamran to answer, the look of relief changing to concern when his gaze assessed Taber.

“Should you be out of med bay?”

Taber shrugged. “I’m sure Sara will strap me back to the bed if she were to catch me.”

“Then we better make sure she doesn’t catch you. Please come in,” he motioned as he stepped aside.

The main living area was a mess. Clothing and blankets were strewn about, while small toys covered the floor. A quick glance at the side of the long green couch showed several packages, all in various states of unwrap.

“Apparently, it’s called a baby shower. An old human tradition to celebrate the birth of a child. Several of the security team surprised Haylie with one this afternoon.”

There was something humbling to know that as he and Fallon struggled for their lives, other people had continued to live.

“Can I get you a drink?” Kamran asked, walking over to the small bar that made up a single corner of the room.

Taber nodded and watched as his friend poured two glasses of Hapes, giving each a swirl as he did. The thick black liquid would burn when he swallowed it. Hopefully, it would eat past the lump that had formed in his throat.

When Kamran pressed the glass into his hand, Taber stared down at the drink. He waited until Kamran sat down at the table, before taking a sip. It was only after the drink burned a path down his throat that Taber had the strength to look directly at his friend.

“How are you feeling? Sara told Haylie you were recovering nicely.”

Taber nodded once. “With Davin’s help. I am still sore from where Tony kicked me, but I will recover.”

“I am pleased to hear that. Things wouldn’t be the same if something were to happen to you.”

Taber turned the glass in his hand to the side before he brought it to his lips. The Hapes gave him the burn that he wanted, but it did little to boost his courage. Not knowing what else to do, he walked slowly over to the second chair and placed his hand on the back of it.

148

Slowly, he pulled it back, making enough room for his large body, and sat down. It felt odd to sit. He rarely did, even when he was alone, preferring to lie down if rest was necessary. Taber stared at his glass, leaning his arms against the table as he watched the liquid spin slowly around.

When he finally had the nerve to look at Kamran, Taber wasn’t sure of the emotion on his friend’s face. Kamran quickly locked whatever it was safely behind his ambassador’s mask and held up his glass.

“
Che tel mi parmera
.”

With a shaky hand, Taber raised his glass as well. “
Che tel me somisa
.”

After they both swallowed, Kamran smiled. “You give me a great honor.”

“No, it is my honor to have you as my friend.”

He paused, unsure of how to continue. When he’d been lying in med bay, memories of Calantha mixed with images of Fallon in his head until everything was a jumbled mess. He’d always thought he’d loved his mate. But the longer he was with Fallon, the more he was coming to realize the emotion between them hadn’t been love.

“How long have we known each other?” Taber asked, knowing full well the question didn’t need to be asked. Each of them knew the exact day they’d first met.

“Thirteen years. When you were first assigned as my protection on
Tri Ralfa
colony.”

Taber nodded. “Do you know why I was assigned to you?”

Kamran stared at him for a moment before shaking his head. Taber couldn’t hold Kamran’s gaze, not if he had any hope of saying what he wanted to say. Instead, he focused on his drink once more, turning the glass around in his hand.

“My company had finally been released from combat. We’d served on the front lines on
Tri Ralfa
for an entire cycle. I saw more blood and death than I would care to recount in that time. But the last battle had been the worst.”

“The mountain siege?”

Anyone who’d ever served in the Briel Protectorate knew about the siege on
Tri
Ralfa
. It now served as a lesson taught to future soldiers and commanders about how
not
to fight the Ecada. They’d almost lost the war during that three-day period.

Taber had almost died.

“I was with my commander when we were pinned down by an invading group of Ecada. They were older than the rest, their mental influence stronger than any other I’d encountered. When they combined their efforts, I wasn’t able to resist.”

“Few could have, my friend.”

Taber looked up, tears inexplicably in his eyes. “But I was weaker than I should have been. Weaker and a risk to my comrades.”

Kamran didn’t speak, somehow knowing that if Taber was interrupted, he wouldn’t start again. Taber swallowed hard, needing to finally share this burden.

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“My mind wasn’t whole. Splintered, allowing the Ecada to find a way inside and use me to attack the people around me. I nearly killed my commander.”

Memories of that day were as clear to him as if they’d happened yesterday. He’d gone mad, blasting at anything that moved. He’d taken a knife to his commander, sliced open his side and would have taken his head off if the older, stronger man hadn’t somehow managed to overpower him.

“Taber?” Kamran asked softly.

“My mate had died the year previous.”

The silence in the room was deafening. Unable to take it any longer, he finally looked back at Kamran, who was now sitting back against his chair, his eyes wide and his mouth pressed shut.

“She’d been ill. The doctors told me after she wouldn’t have lived much beyond the end of the month. Her disease would have ended painfully, so instead of suffering, she ended her life on her terms.”

Taber’s stomach churned thinking about Calantha. Her anger and fear had been directed toward him, the closeness he wanted to share with her. They’d only been mated for just over a year—she’d been sick long before they’d bonded.

“I had…” Kamran shook his head. “I’m so sorry.”

“No.” Taber pushed back from the table and stood quickly. “This is why I never told you before. I don’t want your pity. I survived, both Cala’s death and the Ecada. I pushed the pain away and I lived.”

Kamran cut off his escape, standing in front of him and grabbing his shoulders.

“Don’t. You came here to talk to me, tell me these things for a reason. If you leave now before you have a chance to figure this out, you will choose the wrong path at whatever crossroads you have reached. Please, sit.”

Taber’s heart beat hard and fast in his chest when he saw the concern in Kamran’s eyes. It took all his strength to nod yes and resume his seat. Kamran waited until he was comfortable before he pulled his chair over to sit closer to Taber.

“I am honored you shared this with me. I’m assuming this revelation has to do with Fallon?”

At the mention of her name, Taber had to fight the urge to get up and walk around the room. His restlessness had increased significantly since Sean and Davin had freed them and he’d been taken to med bay. Fallon hadn’t been allowed to go into the room when Sara needed to check his injuries. Thanks to Davin, he hadn’t required surgery, but it still took Sara a while to make sure he was fine. By the time he was able to sneak from med bay, Fallon was long gone.

A part of him was disappointed she hadn’t waited there for him. The other part understood why she hadn’t.

Something had happened to them down in the lower levels. A tenuous connection that he wasn’t sure was real or simply a byproduct of high adrenalin and fear. Still, he 150

didn’t feel the same exactly and needed time to figure out what had happened. The fact he’d ended up at Kamran’s only told him it was time to bring things out to the open.

“It is impossible for our people to have a second mate,” he said the words as calmly and rationally as he could.

“A second bond mate? That is what the elders tell us.”

There was something in Kamran’s voice that made Taber sit a little straighter. “Is there something you know?”

Kamran shook his head. “I never heard of any instances of a Briel bonding with another after the loss of a mate. Mind you, I’d never heard of a Briel bonding with a non Briel until the council joined Haylie and myself.”

Taber hadn’t thought about the council until Kamran had mentioned them. “Do you think they would accept my…relationship with Fallon if they were to know?”

“Your mate died. There is nothing in our law to say you cannot take another wife.

There are many couples who are happy without a bonding. Look at Sara and Davin.

There isn’t any reason you can’t take Fallon as yours.”

“If she will have me.”

“She will, my friend.”

He wasn’t as confident. “She’d come into med bay with me, but had left shortly thereafter. Back on the
Damara
, she said she wanted to get home to Earth. Living out here with me may not be as appealing as home.”

Just the thought of Fallon walking out of his life was enough to set him on edge.

When he began to clench and unclench his fist, Kamran looked down and chuckled.

“Maybe I spoke too soon. Maybe you can bond again.”

Taber looked down and relaxed his hands. The tension began to build and he had to fight the urge to hit something. “I can’t bond to Fallon. She’s human.”

“Who knows what happened to you. Between your previous link and the influence of the Ecada on your mind, there may be things you are capable of and don’t yet realize.”

He shook his head and tried to relax his body. It was most likely because of his beating at the hands of Tony. He needed to release the pent-up aggression that had built. Perhaps he’d take Sean up on his offer to go for a run later. The exercise would do him good.

“I will take Fallon to my bed, since you don’t want her.”

Taber had his hands around Kamran’s throat and slammed him up against the wall before he was able to say another word. He was about to pull back and punch him, when Kamran began to chuckle. Taber yanked his hands away, shocked that he reacted at all to the words, let alone so violently.

“I think you’ve just proven my case for me.”

151

After a few coughs, Kamran got a distant look in his eyes as Haylie reached out to him. Taber had grown to recognize the look over the past two years.

“My friend,” Kamran said. “I believe you need to report to the east shuttle bay.”

“Why?”

“Fallon is standing there debating about leaving. Haylie is speaking with her now.”

A moment of panic and fear froze him to the spot. All he could do was stare at his best friend dumbfounded. Kamran put a hand on his shoulder and looked him in the eye.

“Your mate is trying to leave. Go get her.”

The tiny shove Kamran gave him was all he needed. Taber bolted from the room without a backward glance and ran as fast as he could through the bazaar to the tube and down to the east shuttle bay.

People stared at him as he went, but he ignored the confused looks and shouts of concern. All he could think of was Fallon leaving.

Stay.

He kept chanting that one word over and over in his mind, praying it would work.

Please, Fallon, stay.

* * * * *

Fallon stood staring at the long-range ship that was dropping off supplies and soon would be heading back to Earth. These ships were few and far between. Who knew when she’d have a chance like this again any time soon?

Zane had agreed to end her commitment with the
Damara
, though he’d fought her tooth and nail to try and convince her to stay.

“I don’t think I can go back there,” she’d said to him. “Despite the fact Tony had been the killer, everyone will see me as the reason for two senseless deaths. People won’t want that reminder.”

“Where are you going to go?” He hugged her after realizing her mind had been made up.

“Home. There’s a ship leaving soon.”

That conversation had been over an hour ago. She’d been standing in the shuttle bay for the past ten minutes, staring.

What the hell am I going to do?

“Fallon?”

She turned at the sound of Haylie’s voice and gave her a small smile. “Hi there.”

Haylie jogged over to her. Her chestnut brown hair was pulled up into a ponytail and she was dripping in sweat. Fallon had to admire her for not letting a little thing like childbirth stop her from doing what she wanted.

152

“I didn’t know you ran down here.”

“Well, I’m not supposed to be. Sara will have a fit if she sees me, which is why I’m running on the lower levels rather than my normal route.” Haylie’s gaze dropped down to the small bag by Fallon’s feet. “Tell me you’re not leaving?”

Looking back at the shuttle, Fallon shrugged. “I can’t go back to the
Damara
.

Captain Zane has allowed me to end my contract. This is the next ship to Earth.”