The Bond That Saves Us (14 page)

“Can you drop the shield so I can come in?”

78

“No.”

“Gaz.”

“Don’t fucking
Gaz
me. You have no idea the crap she’s had to go through in the past. Men screwing with her, dropping her when they find out about her…abilities. Or worse, using her for a quick rush. I thought you were different.”

“I’m not like that,” Sean said softly, not sure who he was trying to persuade.

“Not really convincing me with the whole running away thing.”

Anger rushed through him and Sean gripped the strap of his bag a bit tighter. “You were the one who said I’d put everyone in danger. Practically laid the blame for the whole fucking fire at my feet. What did you expect me to do, Gaz? Stay and I’m a menace. Leave and I’m an asshole who doesn’t give a shit about your friend or anyone else. I can’t make everything better for everyone all the time.”

Gaz closed his eyes, his body tense under his loose shirt. Sean knew he was starting to get through, but he wasn’t sure if this was going to be for the better or not.

Swallowing, he scooted closer to the energy field, the hair on his arms and his head standing up.

“What the hell should I have done, Gaz? What do
you
want me to do? Because I’m not seeing many options for myself at the moment.”

Nothing, no comments, sarcastic or otherwise. The moment stretched on until the hiss and pop of the energy field dropping snapped them both out of it.

“What the hell?” Gaz started, his body turning to look back into the ship.

“Let him in.”

Amy.

Sean didn’t say anything, but stepped to the door and hauled himself up. Gaz moved out of the way only at the last second. The younger man snorted, casting a quick glance at him before he turned and marched away.

“I’ll be in engineering with Ryan.”

Standing tall, Sean turned to look at the woman who now haunted his every thought. He was shocked to see how tired she looked, how worn down by everything she really was. Guilt and anger threatened to drive him away once more, but he couldn’t let it. There was something between them. Something soft and slow, far deeper than pheromones and attraction to her beautiful face. It took walking away from it to realize it was there at all. He wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

Sean understood Amy. And for the first time in a very long time, he felt like someone actually understood him. If he was going to make this work, he needed her to understand where his confusion and anger came from. It wasn’t something he often shared—not even with his friends. Letting his gaze drop, he closed his eyes.

“I have this…tendency to leave when things get hard. Before I came to Eurus my life was…so frustrating. My parents, they’re the heads of a major research conglomeration on Earth. They had…” God, their disappointed faces when he’d told 79

them of his posting on Eurus had been almost too much for him back then.

“Expectations?” Amy offered.

Sean nodded. “Pressure to do what they wanted, be the man
they
wanted…I always did what I could to piss them off. When it wasn’t enough I’d run away.” All the way across the universe to a colony where he had complete control over his life. “Sometimes it’s a hard habit to break.”

He could feel Amy’s gaze on him, encouraging him to look up. She smiled. “Thank you.”

“It’s a crap excuse, but it’s the truth.”

Her gaze slipped to his bag and he tightened his grip on the strap. “I wasn’t sure if I’d still be welcomed, but I thought I’d take the chance.”

Her smile twitched wider for a moment before she wiped it away and grew serious.

“I still need a copilot. But things…can’t be like they were before.”

The sex, attraction…mind-numbing want all had to go. It was a small price to pay if it meant regaining Amy. He’d take her any way he could.

“I never expected they would be. But I didn’t want you to be alone in this. Not for the race at least.”

“You’ll have to bunk in one of the back rooms. I’m keeping the ship locked tight until race day. Not taking any more chances with security and we’re not leaving this ship until we take her up for launch.”

Sean nodded. Amy tried to move past him, but he stepped forward, halting her progress.

“I talked to a friend, a former pilot. He might try to get in touch with me.”

They were so close he could smell the light citrus, but more than that, he could smell her. The soap and sweat on her skin, the light scent of coffee on her lips, calling to him. Things were different from before, but it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. His eyes slipped from hers to her mouth and he shuddered as her tongue darted out to lick the fullness of her bottom lip. He wanted to follow its path with his own.

“I’ll make sure he can get through to you,” she whispered, her voice husky.

Sean moved in closer. His chest brushed against her arm, forcing her to shift her hand so it wasn’t close to his groin. Even that fleeting contact made his cock swell and stiffen. Shit, how was he supposed to ignore what was painfully obvious between them? He didn’t stop, couldn’t prevent his head from dipping down so his mouth hovered above her ear.

“I’m sorry I hurt you.” He knew his words would do nothing to repair the damage, but he had to try, start somewhere. “I’m sorry I proved to be just like everyone else.”

“You’re…” She bit on her lip.

“I’m what?” She shook her head. “Tell me, Amy. I’m what?”

“You’re not like them.” Her breath hitched. “That’s why it hurt…a whole lot more 80

than I thought it would.”

Fuck.
“I told you I was a bastard. I always seem to get sucked into this bullshit. I think I got cursed, part of some universal joke. I don’t want to see you…damaged like I am.”

“Sean—”

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Amy’s neck. “Not saying it will be easy, but I’m going to try to stay away from you…like that.”

“Don’t you think part of it is my decision to make?”

Her words shook him. No one had cared enough before to take the risk. He hadn’t really cared before now. Still, more than a small part of him was thrilled that Amy cared, even a little.

“Let me put my things away. Then I’ll see if I can help Gaz down in engineering.”

Amy nodded, turning her head enough for him to see the pout of her full lips. “I’ll set an extra plate for you in the mess.”

“Appreciate it.”

Ignoring the tightness of his pants and the buzzing in his head, Sean turned and made his way down the hall to the crew quarters. He needed to keep his head, focus on the problem, on getting Amy into the race and keeping her safe while making sure Tyrell and his men did nothing to hurt her.

He pressed the door release, but stopped to look over his shoulder at where Amy stood, hands on hips. The look on her face told him things between them were far from over.

81

Amy found it hard to keep her eyes open. They’d been fine-tuning the engines for the past three hours, and for once they were actually making progress. She’d worked side by side with Sean for two days now, trying to ignore the way his body moved, the ripple and pull of muscles barely hidden by his shirt. The challenge had been with her body’s reaction to his proximity. The burst of her pheromones would be so strong in the close quarters, it got to the point where she knew even Gaz and Ryan were starting to feel the effects two rooms away. At the very least they weren’t going after her.

The irony of the entire situation was that Sean, the object of her desire, was seemingly unaffected by it. With every wave of arousal she projected, his body would stiffen, but within moments would return to its previous relaxed state. He made no move toward her in any way that could be considered sexual, flirting or otherwise. It would figure, he was able to keep his head around her.

She desperately wanted him to lose control.

She didn’t want to admit how much it had hurt her when Sean had walked away or exactly how thrilled she’d been to see him standing outside the
Drake
’s protective shield. Gaz had been completely against letting him back in, but Amy knew it wasn’t out of malice or any disregard for her feelings. Gaz loved her. He’d been the one to help her through when Malik had left her, taking with him the remnants of her dignity and her heart. Even her dad hadn’t known the extent of her depression.

Speaking of whom. Sitting up, she rubbed her eyes in a vain attempt to wake herself. She’d promised her dad she’d check in with him before the race and she was starting to run out of time. Two days was all they had left before launch day. It was unusual that he hadn’t gotten in touch with her over the past few days. She’d been so wrapped up in getting ready, Tyrell’s men…Sean, she hadn’t thought on it.

He’d been raving mad the day after the fire. Shit, when he’d come down to see if there was any damage to either her, Gaz or the
Drake
, she thought he was going to go after Tyrell himself. It had taken her over an hour to calm him down and then another ten minutes convincing Gaz not to tell him about Sean. The last thing she needed was her dad getting arrested for assault. When she’d finally convinced him to go back to his quarters and relax, it had only been with the promise of getting in touch with him when she had the chance.

Pressing the code he’d given her into the com panel, Amy held her breath and waited. It took several attempts before the screen popped to life.

Except her dad wasn’t there. The screen was live, but no one came to sit in front of it. Frowning, Amy leaned into the screen.

“Dad? Hello?”

82

Still nothing. Panic raged through her, fleeting thoughts of him going after Tyrell after all, getting his throat cut and body dumped out an airlock flooding her mind.

She took a breath and tried to keep the panic from her voice. “Dad?”

“Amy-girl! Hang on.”

She relaxed her grip on the panel and sat back, waiting for her dad to pop in front of the screen. When he finally poked his face around, she couldn’t stop her grin.

“What the hell are you doing?” She laughed, giddy from relief and the sight of him in a Shay meditation tunic. “You better not have found religion.”

“Hell no.” He scratched both hands through his snow white hair. “But your mom taught me years ago about this meditation stuff. Helps when I’m stressing.”

“You’re stressing? I thought I told you I had everything out here under control.

You’re not going to go after Tyrell—”

“Sweetheart, I told you I wouldn’t and I mean it.”

She let out a sigh of relief. “I’m holding you to that.”

He grinned, shrugging slightly. “You can’t blame a father for worrying. Besides, my girl is about to run in the biggest race this sector has seen in years. Of course I’m stressing. How is the old girl doing anyway? Did you get her back in one piece? Need me to come down and give her a few tweaks for you?”

Panic threatened to return, but she did her best to quickly quash it. She grinned back at him, hoping it reached all the way to her eyes. “Naw, I’m good. I’m giving the new crew members a nice and proper breaking in. Have them flushing out the heating systems and filling up the food prep units.”

“That’s my girl. Need to make sure they know who’s boss.”

They chatted for a few more minutes about the ship, her plan for the race route and how she was going to try to pull everything she could from the engines. Purposely, Amy did her best to steer clear of any mention of the fire, Tyrell or anything that would fire up her dad. She loved him to death, but she couldn’t do this if she had to worry about him coming down and taking over. She needed to prove she could do this, that she wasn’t the little girl who used to sit on his lap and help him plot navigation courses.

She thought everything was fine until he leaned far back into his seat, crossed his arms over his chest and lowered his chin. “Now tell me what the hell has got you all wound up. I’ve purposely kept clear so I don’t make matters worse for you and while I know the fire had you freaked, this isn’t about that. I have to say, I haven’t seen you like this in years.”

Amy blinked. “What? No, Dad, there’s nothing wrong.”

“Bullshit.”

“Dad!”

“I changed your diapers and had your puke on my shoulder more than once. I know when my girl is lying to me.”

83

He held her gaze until she had to look away. There was so much wrong, so much she didn’t want to tell him, so much she didn’t know
how
to tell him. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she sighed.

“There’s this guy.”

“Ha! I knew it. His name?”

“Sean.”

“Do I need to come down and pound him into the ground?”

“No, Gaz already offered.”

“Good boy. I’m glad you two are still together. So what’s with this Sean?”

“He’s…I’m attracted to him. And it’s proving a bit…complicated.”

Her dad sat forward, his face so close to the screen his eyes took on a wide, distorted look. “Your gift, he hasn’t taken advantage of you, has he? Because I really will come down there and beat the shit out of him.”

“No, Dad, don’t. He hasn’t done anything wrong at all. Perfect gentleman in fact.”

“Even with your…stuff?”

“They’re pheromones, Dad. Not
stuff
.”

“I know. I also remember how hard it is to resist them when they get going. Never could walk away from your mother.”

Amy smiled. She remembered getting shooed out of the cockpit on more than one occasion growing up. She never realized what it meant until she was older and she would hear low moans slip out from beneath the door.

“Well, you’d be impressed with Sean.” Amy bit down on her bottom lip, fighting back the urge to sigh. “So, let me tell you about the modifications Gaz made this morning to the engines.”

“That sounds like a change of subject to me.”

“It was. A very obvious one I thought.”

“Amy…”

“I know, but not right now. Okay?”

He smiled, leaning back against his seat. “For now. Don’t think I’m going to let this drop. I’ve never met a man who could walk away from a Shay woman who had the hots for him.”

Amy rolled her eyes, but was thankful to let the subject drop. They chatted for at least fifteen minutes before they were interrupted by the chirp of the door alarm.

“Hang on, Dad.” Amy pressed the privacy button on the com, changing the image to black, before opening the door.

Gaz stood on the other side, arms across his chest. “You going to be hiding in here all afternoon?”

“I’m not hiding. Dad’s on the vid.” Like she was about to tell Gaz the truth. Besides, 84

what did it matter if she
was
hiding from Sean? It’s not like he wanted to spend time with her anyway. Well, not in the way she wanted at least.

“Well, say hi for me and then get your ass out here. Your boy is going to kill himself if he doesn’t take a break soon.”

Amy wanted to laugh, but got the feeling Gaz would punch her arm if she did. “I thought you didn’t want him around? Now you’re all huggy, kissy and concerned about his welfare.”

Gaz snorted. “Look, he might be a pain in the ass, but he’s one who knows what the hell he’s doing. If we’re going to actually run this race, we need him as a pilot.”

The smart-ass response Amy had ready died on her lips. “Wow. That’s something I never thought I’d hear.”

“Yeah, well,” Gaz shrugged, “I like the guy despite the fact he’s an ass. Plus Ryan has been telling me some stuff…look, I’ll leave you be. But hurry the fuck up.”

She waited for the door to close before returning to the vid. Her dad was turned away, looking at something off to his right side.

“Dad?”

“Hey, hon. Everything okay?”

“Yup, but I need to get back to work. Maybe once we get things cleaned up a bit you can come down and take a look at the
Drake
one last time before the race. Be nice to get your stamp of approval.”

Her dad grinned. “You got it, sweetie. Now go…work. Do me proud.”

Amy saluted. “Yes, sir.”

The vid screen went black and with the picture gone went her excuse for hiding from Sean. With a huff, Amy pushed herself to her feet and made her way out to the hall. The air was cool but stale. They’d have to purify the system and flush everything out before they went into space. The last thing they needed was to get halfway through the race and have the entire ship reeking of sweat and burned electrical wires. They’d end up gagging their way across the finish line.

She peeked into the engine room as she passed. Gaz had returned and was already standing hip to hip, thigh to thigh with Ryan as they worked on the stardrive capacitor.

She couldn’t stop her smile at the sight. It had been a long time since Gaz had taken an interest in anyone for more than a one-night stand. That the two men had been practically inseparable since Ryan’s arrival on ship was boding well for her friend.

Maybe if Gaz’s luck could rub off on her there’d be hope for her love life when this was done.

Sean sat in front of an open console as she walked into the engineering systems bay.

She knew he was aware of her arrival by the way his shoulders tensed for a moment before relaxing. They’d played this game for the past day now—both aware, both doing their best to ignore the obvious attraction between them. Really, she knew she should respect his desire to keep things professional. Not only did it make sense given the 85

timeframe they were under, the added distraction could cause one or both of them to make a critical error. But standing there, looking at him, none of it mattered. She wanted him. Not just in her bed, but in her life. She’d enjoyed the brief time they’d shared and wanted more.

Not to mention the mind-blowing sex. She’d had partners over the years—what Shay woman didn’t—and Sean had been one of the best. He’d quickly learned her body, discovered how to make her moan by rolling her nipples between his fingers. Her body responded at the memory, her clit pulsed and demanded she go after what she wanted.

Amy refused to give in to the urge to tuck her hair behind her ears and instead laced her hands together behind her back. She closed her eyes, and willed her pounding heart to slow down, the flutter in her stomach to stop and generally for her body to settle the fuck down.

“Can I help you with something?”

There was something in his voice, something that had Amy taking a step forward.

Her fingers twitched, but she didn’t release them. “Just wanted to see how you were doing. Gaz and Ryan seemed…busy.”

Sean turned to look at her over his shoulder. A small smirk crossed his lips. “I don’t think Ryan knew what he was getting himself into when he signed up.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation, I haven’t seen Gaz this taken with someone in ages.

And I don’t think they’ve fucked yet.”

“Your friend isn’t known for restraint?”

“Not when it comes to sex. Regular pirate, that one. Sees the prize and jumps in with both lasers blasting.”

She stepped farther into the room, her gaze locked onto Sean’s body as he shifted, giving her a clearer view of what he was working on.

“Is that the ventilation gauge? I though the air was a bit stuffy earlier.”

He nodded, waving the spanner in the direction of the wires and circuits. “There was a short. I wanted to try to fix it before we brought up the secondary systems. No sense in flushing crap from the vents into the backups.”

Amy squatted, the front of her knees brushing Sean’s lower back and side. He stiffened, but didn’t pull away. Heat seeped from his body through the heavy material of her pants to her skin. The scent of his sweat made her shiver, her mouth watering at the memory of what it tasted like on his skin. She shuddered, wanting to lick his body, run her fingers through his hair, moan her encouragement against his ear. There was a change in the air around them, practically screaming Sean’s growing arousal.

She couldn’t smell her pheromones, but still knew the moment they were released into the air. A light flush crept across the back of Sean’s neck as his breathing became more rapid. Shit, they really didn’t need this right now, especially since she was trying to win him over, not freak him out. But she couldn’t stop it—couldn’t help herself.