The Bond That Saves Us (23 page)

“What I hadn’t expected was the Ecada. They hated the Briel so much, everything they stood for, they were willing to do anything to stop them. Humans here weren’t a threat to them, never really gave them any reason to invade. Problem was, they were losing the war against the Briel. They needed a weapon and a chance to wipe out the elder council controlling the Briel armed forces.”

145

“That was you?” she asked when it didn’t seem like he would continue.

He finally nodded. “We were betrayed. They got into my head and made it so I couldn’t think straight. Half the time I didn’t know where I was,
who
I was. It was just me, alone in the dark. I hated it, hated
myself
so much, Amy. I couldn’t get out and help the people around me. It was like every bad thing my parents had predicted about my life had come true. I’d let everyone down. When I was able to finally break free, I was forced to see the destruction I’d caused. So many people dead…”

Amy wanted to wrap her arms around him, pull him tight against her body to try to help chase the monsters away. She knew about that feeling of helplessness, had to live with it herself for so long. Catching his wrist in her hand, she ran her thumb over the underside, the soft skin hot under her touch.

“When I was standing there,” she said, giving him a squeeze, “I kept thinking this was Malik all over again. That these men were going to lose their minds, they wouldn’t be able to stop and I’d be the cause of their deaths and violence. They
would
have killed each other if you hadn’t thrown the grenade when you did.”

“I know. Gaz was freaking out.” His words were soft, but she could hear the slight smile in his voice. “He was all for it at first, but then when he saw you standing there he started yelling.”

Amy felt a returning smile tug at her lips. “Yeah, he tends to do that. It’s just because he’s seen the aftermath before. Probably didn’t want to deal with it again.”

“Your dad was the only one who could calm him. I wouldn’t have let them hurt you, you know.” The words were spoken so quickly, with such conviction, Amy had to fight against moving away from him again. Sean sighed, shifting his hand so he could lace his fingers through hers. “I don’t know what came over me, but the way they were looking at you, with every step they took closer, I wanted to kill them.”

“That was the pheromones. They can make you—”

“No.”

Sean pulled her forward hard, sending Amy crashing into him. His scent rolled off him, riding on the waves of his body heat. She closed her eyes, overwhelmed by everything. What little anger she had left evaporated with the contact. He wanted her, and Gods help her, she wanted him too. But she still needed to understand why.

Pressing her nose against his neck, she sighed. “How do you know? That it isn’t the pheromones? They are there, always driving men toward me. You’ll always question me, my actions, whether or not I’ve done something to lure another man to my side.”

“It’s not.” He rubbed his nose and cheek against the top of her head. “I was so scared when I first met you. That those damn pheromones were the only reason I felt the attraction I did. But it’s more than that. I’ve talked to your dad. They only govern the physical, the lust. What they don’t control is how I feel about you when I’m lying in my room in the dark.”

Amy’s heart was racing now, and her grip tightened on him. She couldn’t look up, not yet. “What do you feel when you are alone in the dark?”

146

“I’ve never felt like this about anyone,” he said, placing a kiss on her forehead.

“Oh good. That means this will hurt a whole lot more.”

They both spun to see Cyanna standing behind them, holding a laser gun—and it was pointed directly at Amy.

147

Panic squeezed his chest when Sean heard the laser blaster power up. Cyanna was grinning like a madwoman, her eyes wide, almost too bright for her to be sane. They were frozen in spot, Amy between him and the blaster, the very last place he wanted her to be.

“Don’t be a fool,” he said, trying to move Amy aside. “You fire that thing and half the station will be here within seconds.”

“If you move another inch, your girlfriend will end up with a hole in her back and it will be worth it.” She powered it up to full and stepped closer to them. “Believe me when I say I can fire faster than you can move. I don’t believe you want to test me today.”

Amy stiffened in his arms for a moment before letting out a short huff of breath.

“What do you want?”

“Out. You have a ship and you can fly me.” Cyanna waved the blaster in the direction of the
Drake
. “Move.”

Sean shifted, thankful to finally be able to act as a shield between Amy and the blaster. “How did you get away from security? You know they will be looking for you.”

“No, they won’t. I was able to bribe one of the guards. Seems he has a taste for dust and was more than willing to look the other way while I walked out the door. Shame I had to kill him, he could have been an excellent resource for me. I’ll have to find another.”

They reached the door to the ship, the security features still turned off. Cyanna shifted to the side, away from Sean, and waited. “Open it up. Captain, you stay here with me while your boy goes in first. If I don’t like the look of anything, you die.

Understand?”

“If you think for a moment I’m going to let you take my ship—”

“Amy.” Sean shook his head. “Just do what she says.”

“That’s right, listen to the man. Seems he’s not as stupid as most of the ones I meet.

My father included.”

Ignoring her jibe, he pressed the door release button, waiting for the hatch to open.

Careful not to make any moves she would see as threatening, Sean stepped into the ship and turned to face out, his whole body in clear sight. Willing Amy to listen, for things to finally be on their side, he held his breath, helpless to do anything but watch.

“That is fine, Mr. Donaldson. Now you, Captain. Move slowly.”

He could tell by the way Amy walked she was still weak from the stun grenade. It didn’t do anything to dissuade her from coming directly toward the ship, hands fisted 148

as she moved with measured steps. Now only a step of the
Drake
’s hatch, Amy paused and looked up into his eyes. The second she gave him a small smile, he knew what she was about to do.

Oh shit, don’t! No, no, no.
He shook his head ever so slightly, trying to project his fear, willing her to stop. There was something in her eyes, a prideful steel that shouted back to him. She wouldn’t let Cyanna get any farther and she’d be damned if she’d let her take the
Drake
. Not on her watch, not when she could do something about it.

Before he had a chance to react, Amy swung her elbow around, managing to connect with the side of Cyanna’s head. Sean jumped forward, but they were just far enough away he couldn’t get to her in time. Cyanna, though stunned, had enough of her wits about her to pull the trigger. The sickening whine of the laser melded with Amy’s scream as both filled the hangar bay. Both noises were quickly followed by the automatic security alarm. Help was coming, but it wouldn’t get here soon enough.

Sean jumped to the ground, ignoring the amount of blood now covering Amy’s upper body, and ran full speed at Cyanna. Throwing himself on her, he heard the blaster scrape and rattle as it slid away from them. She wasn’t going down without a fight though. Cyanna clawed at him, dragging her nails so hard down his face she tore the skin. Sean tried to restrain her, grabbing her wrists and prying them from his body.

Rage circled around inside him. Fuck, he was just figuring this out, his feelings for Amy, what he wanted from his life. Without thinking, he looked over at Amy, her eyes closed, blood soaking her shirt, and a strangled sob escaped his lips.

“You bitch,” he choked out. “You killed her!”

Cyanna’s only response was to laugh hysterically.

The pounding of boots on the floor soon reached him. Three security personnel dropped beside him. The second he was able, Sean released his prisoner and leapt to Amy’s side.

“Amy, baby, look at me.” He pressed his fingers to her throat in an attempt to find a pulse. His breath died in his lungs when he couldn’t find it right away. Closing his eyes, he concentrated, blocking out all the external noise and confusion, shifting his finger to the left. “I’ve got a pulse!”

“Medical team in en route. They will be here in a minute.”

“Tell them to hurry.” Please God, let them hurry.

Sean rolled Amy onto her back and pressed his hands against the blast wound.

“Come on, baby, open your eyes. Look at me. I’m so sorry for everything and I really need you to look at me.”

A pained groan escaped her as her head flopped to the side. He had to push harder, blood escaping through his fingers as it refused to stop. Everything centered down for him to the contact between them. He’d gotten so close to happiness and hadn’t even realized it, and now it was about to be wrenched away from him.

“Come on, Amy. I need you to open your eyes. I need to know you’re going to be 149

okay.”

A body pressed against his side as small hands covered his. “Sean, I’m here.”

Somewhere in the back of him mind he recognized Sara’s voice, knew help had finally come. “Amy, open your eyes,
dammit
.”

“Sean, you have to move so I can help her.”

God, he couldn’t do this, wouldn’t survive another death, another one he was responsible for.

Large hands curled around his shoulder and he was pulled back away from Amy.

Sara and another member of her team moved in, tearing at Amy’s shirt to reveal a large hole in her shoulder. It was quickly covered by a med compress, hiding the red blood and damaged skin.

“Open your eyes, Amy,” he whispered, willing her to listen to him.

“Sean, you need to let Sara do her job.” Davin’s voice. “She’ll fix her up.”

“Why won’t she open her eyes?” It didn’t make sense. If she could just do that, then he knew she would be okay. She’d pull through and the universe would be as it should.

“She will. Just give us time to get her better.”

Sean turned, looking his friend in the eye. “Will you help her?” He knew it was asking a lot of Davin, knew he shouldn’t, but didn’t care.

Davin’s gaze flicked from Sean down to Amy and back. “If I have to, I will. But right now my job is to look after you. I think you’re going into shock. You need to come with me.”

Sean resisted the pull of Davin’s hands on his shoulders. “No, I’m not leaving her.”

“Not asking you to. I wouldn’t be able to leave Sara either. But they’re going to take her down to med bay. You need to get checked out too. Make sure none of the blood on you is yours.” He found himself nodding his agreement before being led toward med bay by his friend.

Time became skewed as Sean let his body get pushed and pulled through the corridors and onto a bed in med bay. When they took Amy into surgery, his body went numb. He couldn’t look away from his hands or the blood covering them. Even after someone had cleaned him, Davin maybe, he couldn’t look up. Coldness seeped into his body and mind until he wasn’t able to move. When a warm body sat beside him, Sean didn’t have the energy to look up.

“Are you okay?”

The voice snapped him out of his trance. He looked up at Kamran, his face locked in a frown.

“No.” The single word hurt him more than he thought it would to say.

“Davin told us what had happened. He’s in with Sara right now trying to fix her up.”

Sean stared at his friend, not knowing what to say. Kamran smiled and squeezed 150

his shoulder. “Don’t worry about anything. We’re all here to help.”

“Why?” Sean shifted his gaze to look in the direction of the surgery. “After everything I’ve done to the colony, why would you even want me around? I never understood that.”

Kamran let out a snort. “Besides Taber, you are the most stubborn man I know. You seem to have forgotten everything you’ve done for this colony, practically since the day you arrived.”

“I haven’t—”

“Will you shut up and listen for once.” Kamran sighed, running a hand down his face. “You can’t keep blaming yourself for something you had no control over. Any law-governing body in this sector would agree you’ve more than paid for any responsibility, either real or imaginary, since the attack. They
used
you. You didn’t offer to let them into your head willingly. You didn’t give them the codes to the colony. You were just a man who had put too much on his shoulders, was tired and vulnerable.

They used you, nothing more.”

“I should have been stronger.”

“You are seriously trying my patience as a diplomat.”

Sean couldn’t help but chuckle. “Sorry.”

“You have a woman in there who, if my wife is to be believed, is completely in love with you. You have a chance to make a new life for yourself. No more needing to be the wounded martyr, simply Sean. She doesn’t care about anything that’s happened in the past. Just like you don’t care about what she sees as her own faults. Am I correct?”

“She’s perfect, Kamran.” The whispered confession pulled some of the weight of his guilt from his mind. “And she really doesn’t care. But I keep screwing things up with her and I don’t know if she’ll want me even if she pulls out of this.”

Before Kamran had a chance to answer, the doors to the surgery opened up as Sara and Davin walked out. Sean was on his feet and by them, heart pounding. “Is she okay?”

Sara smiled, taking Sean’s hand in hers. “I managed to get the bleeding to stop.

There was some damage to the muscles in her shoulder. Davin was able to repair it, but she’ll need rehabilitation to strengthen the area. She’s going to need a lot of help over the next little while to get things back to where they were before.”

Help was something he could do if she was willing to accept it. “Can I see her?”

“You can, but she’s not conscious yet. She’s lost a lot of blood and it will take time for her system to recover.”

“It’s okay. I’ll stay with her.”

Sara really smiled this time. “I figured you would. There is a chair set up by her bed for you already. She’s in recovery. I have to notify her father about her injury and status.”

He didn’t wait to hear anything else and quickly pushed through to the small room 151

off to the side. The sight before him left him breathless. Amy was surrounded by so many computers and monitors, half of which he didn’t know what they did. Her dark skin and hair was a stark contrast to the white sheets around her, making her look so much smaller than she really was.

Sean forced his body to move to the side of the bed, his hands shaking as he pulled the chair out enough to allow his body to slip onto it. Gone was the spark of life that had drawn him to her, replaced now by a fragile shell.

“Amy?” He swallowed, hoping it would relieve some of the gruffness of his voice.

“Amy, baby, can you hear me?”

There was nothing. No movement, flutter of her eyes, no indication she’d heard him at all. He knew this would be hard, but Sara wouldn’t have sent him in here if she didn’t think Amy was going to pull through. Reaching across her body, he slipped his hand around the one that lay across her stomach, and gently moved it to her side. It was difficult, but he managed to lace their fingers together.

“I’m really pissed off at Cyanna’s timing. We were finally having that talk we really needed. Well, I really needed to at least. I can’t tell you how sorry I am I wasn’t able to stop her from doing this to you. I would say it was one more thing I’ve screwed up in a long list, but I think there would be a bunch of people ready to hit me if I did.”

Sean shifted forward, his knees now pressed up against the side of the bed, his head hung just above their joined hands.

“See the thing is, I’ve spent the last few years blaming myself for a bunch of shit that happened. I guess I thought if I didn’t forgive myself, then I could understand it if others didn’t either. But here’s the kicker. All those people who should hate me don’t seem to. I’m not sure why, maybe they are just kinder souls than I am, but they don’t. I couldn’t figure it out for a long time. Especially Kamran. He almost lost everything just at the moment he finally got it. I never understood how he could just shrug it all off like it never happened. But that’s Kamran for you.

“I do understand now, though. Seeing you lying here, knowing you could have been taken away from me, I’m just so fucking relieved. I don’t care about Cyanna, or the race, or about what your dad thinks about me. I’m just so happy you’re okay and you’re going to pull out of this in one piece.”

The heart monitor began to increase in rhythm and a soft groan bubbled from Amy.

He held his breath, waiting for some sign she was actually going to wake up. The monitor didn’t let up in intensity, but she didn’t make any further moves.

“Hey now, you were doing really well there. You need to get yourself back here with me. Especially since your dad is going to be here soon. You need to be awake enough for him to kick your ass. He’s not going to be happy you tried to take on the world alone again. Because you’re not…alone. You have me…if you want me.”