The Book of Nonsense (7 page)

Dexter climbed to the roof and back down onto the loft with no problems. As he forced his way through the dust toward Rash's cubby, he realized this was actually turning out to be the best day he'd had in recent memory, even if it involved his sister. Then he was there, and Rash was right below him, sitting at his desk.

“Calm yourself, Asterius,” Rash exhorted himself while leafing tenderly through the pages of the book. His voice was nearly hysterical. “You can't be certain. Don't be hasty this time! Emmet, you fool! This is no time for your ridiculous hunting! Bring me my ledger! Blast my memory!” Rash went back to fondling his book, but then howled, “Can it be true? Don't be hasty, Asterius! Not after you've waited this long!” Muttering to himself then, he leaned over the book so far that his right eye socket was actually on it.

Witnessing this display, Dex slowly lost his nerve. He could plainly see Rash wasn't going to toss the book on his desk and walk away. However emboldened he felt, confronting the old man didn't seem like a wise idea. But all was not lost. There was this ledger, which sounded like a decent consolation prize.

The moment Dex set foot on the ground behind the warehouse, a voice hissed his name. “
Dexter! What on earth do you think
you're doing?!
” It was Daphna. She'd nearly made his heart stop.

“I thought I'd see if I could swipe the book back for Dad,” Dex said. “But the guy's like halfway making out with it.”

“How could you go back in there after what he did to me?” Daphna demanded. “After what we've already figured out? How could you risk it? Are you an idiot?!” Daphna didn't mean to say that, and she could plainly see she'd lost Dex now. With a stony glare, he simply walked around her and onto the steps.

“Dex!” Daphna grabbed his arm. “I'm sorry, but you're being totally reckless!”

Dex snorted.

“I'm just scared, okay?” Daphna shouted. “I came back because I think I mixed up those two words and knew you'd remember. I saw you go back here, and I've been scared half-to-death.”

“That's your problem,” said Dex through gritted teeth. “Now back off,” he added, pulling his arm free. “I'm going to see if the ledger is up front before that pasty faced ape comes back.”

“Dexter!” Daphna called as her brother bounded up the steps. “If you go in there, I'll—I'll call Latty, I swear.” But Dex didn't even look back at her.

He was going to get himself killed.

Dex took a quick peek around the corner. No one was out front, so he edged along slowly until he could see into the store. The coast was clear. His sister was still pleading with him from the steps, but he no longer heard her. Opportunity was knocking way too loudly.

With a dash, he was inside.

That has to be the ledger
, Dex thought. Right there on the desk was a large, crusty, official looking old book. A small fleet of regular sized books surrounded it, each lying open as well. This was going to be a breeze. He walked around behind the desk and scooped the book up, feeling like a master thief. But the book was far heavier even than it looked. It fell through his hands, hit the edge of the chair and landed under the desk. Dex got to his knees, amused: that might have been the first time he ever
un
intentionally dropped an old book.

Dexter got hold of the ledger and dragged it out, but just before he moved to stand, he heard the door open. “Wait, Emmet!” he heard Daphna shout.

Panicked, he slipped the ledger back on the desk and crouched underneath. “Come on,” his sister was coaxing. She and Emmet had evidently stepped into the store. “I've been dying to talk to you since the first day I came in here,” she said.

Emmet responded with stuttering. “Ah, um, I'm—I got to get back to work or the old man'll—”

“We could just get a slice of pizza,” Daphna suggested. “On me.”

There was a long pause. Dex sweated.

“I just think you're kind of cute is all.”

Another painful pause.

Finally, Daphna said, “
Please, Emmet?
”in a voice Dex had never heard. It was timid, but somehow not timid at all. It made him distinctly uncomfortable.

“I'll wait for you outside,” Daphna said. The door opened and closed. She'd gone.

There was silence in the room, silence but for Emmet's increasingly stressed breathing. It seemed to stretch endlessly, but then, to Dex's profound relief, he heard the door open and close again.

After a few moments, Dex stood up and grabbed the ledger. But no sooner was it in his hands again than he heard the sound of shuffling feet from the other side of the closest stack of shelves. He froze. Two bony legs inside a brown robe were visible through a row of crooked books. Still clutching the ledger, Dex climbed back under the desk.

“I really love old books,” Daphna said,
again
. “They're so—unique—and—different—” She was flailing. That had to be the eighth time she'd said the same thing in one way or another, but what else was there to say? Emmet hadn't uttered so much as a word the whole way to the pizza parlor, and he wouldn't look at her either. This was preferable, of course, even with the sunglasses, but still disconcerting.

Now they were sitting in a booth, and he was staring at his lap. Daphna was sure Dexter was safely out of the store by now, but she didn't know how to get away. If her brother was okay, the first thing she was going to do when she saw him was kill him.

Finally, Emmet spoke, though without looking up. “I never thought another girl would be nice to me,” he said. Then he blurted, “Once there were lots of girls—and lots of boys—and they were all nice to me. He says it's a dream.” Emmet didn't continue. He seemed to drift into thought.

It was obvious that this boy was seriously disturbed, but she'd gotten this far, and so easily. Daphna never thought she was capable of flirting, but it worked just the way it did for the Pop girls who made eyes at boys in school when they wanted favors. It just came to her in desperation. All she did was say ‘please' in that corny shy voice while batting her eyes a few times. And it worked like a charm! Emmet seemed almost harmless now.

Maybe, since she was here with him, she could be more than just a distraction. Maybe she could get some real information. “Emmet,” Daphna whispered, “What's going on? What does Rash want?”

“Words of course,” Emmet said, but nothing more.

“That book my dad gave Rash,” Daphna pressed, “do you know what it is?”

“Could be some book he's been looking for,” Emmet answered, flatly. “A book he thought was destroyed. He's not sure yet, though. Kept me up all night trying to read it to him, but I—can't anymore.” Then he added sharply, “That's all I'm sayin'.”

Daphna reached out and put her hand on Emmet's. He looked up, not at her, but at her hand.

“Emmet,” she said softly, “is Rash going to fire you?”

This did the trick. Emmet flashed her a quick look, then forced his eyes back down. “
What do you mean?
” he demanded. “What did he tell you?”

“He asked me if I wanted to be his new assistant,” Daphna said. If it were possible, Emmet paled. His jaw clenched.

“But I'm not going to do it,” Daphna hastened to add, sensing she'd hit a bull's-eye. “I told him no—here, I'll make you a deal,” she said. “If you tell me what you know, I'll tell you what I know.”

“What did he say!”

“You first,” Daphna insisted. Then, before he could object, she asked, “Is my father involved with Rash?”

“You are,” Emmet said, startling her. But he startled Daphna even more by adding, “You and your mother.”

“My
mother?
”

“He doesn't tell me anything,” Emmet explained, “but once, when I was a kid, I was reading him the newspaper. He was blind back then, too. That's why he saved me, to help him. I know I'm not the first, ‘cause sometimes he calls me other names. He's bull-headed, but he's a good man to put up with me. He's gonna let me do it soon.”

“Yes,” Daphna said, hoping she sounded encouraging rather than chilled. She gave Emmet's hand a slight squeeze, which got him talking again. 

“I read him this article about how a book lady got killed in some caves somewhere in Turkey,” Emmet said. “Rash laughed like crazy, but when I read she was a mother, he went berserk and started screaming, ‘She already found it! She already found it!' And then he actually started crying.”

“Crying?”

“I asked him why, and he said because if she got married and had a kid, then she must have found it and destroyed it—some really special book I guess they were both looking for. But then, when he calmed down, he said all was not lost, and that we'd need her kid. We were going to move to Israel where she lived, but he found out you moved to Portland, so we came here right away.”

“But that was thirteen years ago,” Daphna gasped. “You've been here all that time?”

Emmet nodded. “In the warehouse. Only we weren't open for business. We've been working and waiting.”

“For what? Wait, Emmet, are you saying you've been in the warehouse for
thirteen
years
reading books for Rash? And you never came out?”

“Only sometimes, at night,” Emmet admitted. “I go to your house to make sure you haven't moved. But this year he's been letting me hunt. He's been promising for so long.”

An icy revulsion passed over Daphna  at the thought of Emmet spying on her. And she didn't want to ask what this hunting was about.

“What,” she asked, “what were you waiting for?”

“For you to turn thirteen,” Emmet said.

“Why? What's all this about thirteen?”

“Don't know. We were going to grab you today, but that was before your father gave him that book, if it is that book, if your mother didn't destroy it. I guess it is if he let you go. Now you tell me,” Emmet demanded.

Daphna had nearly forgotten her offer. Her mind was reeling from this overload of information. Her mother had been looking for this book, too?

“Rash hypnotizes people,” she managed. “He uses some kind of mesmerizing words, but you don't remember unless someone tells you what really happened.”

This information seemed to sink in slowly with Emmet, who sat impassively after hearing it. But then he said to his knees, “He doesn't do it to me. I know what he does to other people. He knows special words. We collect them. But he doesn't do it to me. He even tried to teach me when I turned thirteen, but I couldn't do it. I'm too stupid. He's been good to me.” Emmet hesitated, then flashed that sickening smile. “And now that he's got his book,” he declared, “I know he'll let me do it! I thought it was going to be you. Maybe it will be anyway.”

“What is it you want to do so badly?”

“Kill someone.”

Daphna, who'd kept her hand on Emmet's through all of this, snatched it back like she'd been burned, but she managed to pretend she needed to cover a cough. Then she said she needed to use the restroom and excused herself. After slipping out the back door of the parlor, she ran for her life.

The sandals shuffled slowly but inexorably toward the entry room. Why he didn't bolt immediately was beyond Dex. He peeked over the desk, hoping to judge that the distance to the door was short enough for a sprint, but he was met with a shock.

Ruby! Standing right there! She'd apparently come out of a hall on the other end of the room and was now looking him straight in the eye. Dex, paralyzed, simply stared at her vivid white hair and elaborately wrinkled face, unable to dip back out of sight.

But then, to his amazement, she put a finger to her lips and motioned for him to get down. Dex ducked under the desk one more time, just as Rash appeared in the entry room.

“Patience, patience now, old man,” Rash counseled himself. He approached the desk and began feeling around on top.

“Emmet!” he hollered after finding it bare. “
Where is my list?!
” When no answer came, he pounded his cracked cane inches above Dex's head.

“Excuse me, Sir!” said a woman's voice—Ruby's. Dex had somehow forgotten she was there.

The sandal stopped and turned. “May I help you?” Rash snapped.

“Yes, thank you ever so much. Could I trouble you for just a moment? I seem to be unable to find the section on Argentine knifefighting charms. Do you think you could lead me there? Oh, dear. You can't see! I'm dreadfully sorry.”

“Who are you?” Rash demanded. “I know your voice.”

“How strange,” said Ruby. “I do come in here a lot. Is this a bad time?”

“Of course not,” Rash replied. “I know this place perfectly. If you would be so kind as to follow me. I am expecting my useless assistant to return at any moment. I have urgent business.”

“Oh, I understand completely. Good help is so hard to find these days. I'm sorry to bother.”

And with that, the robe shuffled away, and the two elderly people disappeared into the store.

There was no hesitating this time. Dex broke for the front door. He half expected to run into Daphna and Emmet out front, but they weren't there, so he dashed across the street and slipped back into the alley. 

He'd done it!

But the elation was short lived. By the time Dex's nerves had settled, he felt only a powerful wave of a very familiar feeling. Did he really think he was going to be able to use this book? Who was he kidding? Ruby would probably think he was crazy, a crazy thief. And now that he'd told Daphna what he was doing, she would want to see it, especially since she'd helped him. In fact, she'd probably only helped when she realized what they might get. Yes, she would demand to see the ledger, and this struck Dexter as the worst possible result of all his efforts.