The Book of Secrets (20 page)

And so the milk drummed frothing into the pail, the girl and the animals bonded together, the cat Noah at her side, its greedy mouth open to catch the drops. There was the quiet splatter of shit beside her, the warm earthy smell of the cow’s dung: she felt close to them as she laid her face against their flanks.

Her mother was gentler with her and made sure she did not milk all the time. She also complained less about the task when it was her
turn at the stool. Sometimes at night, mother and daughter would startle each other by candle-light on the landings, or even by moonlight, for Annie, like her mother, was already a restless sleeper. There, in the different and stranger illuminations of night, they might look into each other’s eyes.

Isabella wondered then if she ought to try explaining to her child that neither of them need be called to account for what lay between them; that it was just that love itself seemed to have stopped some time before Annie was born. It was as if she was outside of love and all its possibility.

Back in bed, by her husband’s inert body, she would say to herself, it is for the best. It is good training, a little loneliness. Nobody should let her think it was going to be easy.

I
t
was
a
night of fine mists and autumn rain when McLeod sent a runner from the house to summon Eoghann MacKenzie before him. The MacKenzies had been picking rosy Cape Breton apples in the mellow afternoon. Towards evening the weather had changed, a winter bite in the air, and fire leapt in the stone fireplace as Kate announced dinner.

Eoghann said grace; Kate lifted fresh flannel cakes off the stove and placed them on the table. Lewis’s hand shot forth first as always, and as always Kate reproved him. At the same time she admired the way he was filling out. She thought that he would not stay long at school now, for he spent more time on the farm with Ewan than he did at his study. Ewan was the next in the family above him, an
easy-natured
and pleasant young man, sitting across the table from her. Lately, Lewis preferred his brother’s company even to that of Hector McIssac. Quietly, this pleased her.

The knock at the door shook her thoughts. There was nothing in it to startle her, for it was neither insistent nor loud, and yet as soon as she heard it she knew that there was something wrong.

Eoghann was already at the door. ‘The minister wants to see me,’ he said, collecting his coat a moment or two later.

‘Can’t it wait till we’ve eaten?’ Kate asked.

‘The boy says not.’ Eoghann looked troubled. ‘He wants Lewis to come too.’

‘What have you been doing, lad?’ she asked, lightly touching his hair as she passed by his chair to collect Eoghann’s dinner. She would put it to warm in the oven.

‘Nothing,’ he said. ‘Do I have to come?’

‘It sounds urgent,’ said his father. ‘You’ve been doing all your homework, have you?’

‘Of course he has,’ said Kate, too quickly.

‘He’ll have to do his own answering if he’s been up to anything,’ said Eoghann.

But Lewis looked so mystified that, although Kate and Eoghann
exchanged puzzled glances over his head, neither of them could seriously believe he had done anything amiss.

When they had gone, Martha said in a quiet, tight voice, ‘I’ll kill him if he does anything to Lewis.’

‘Martha! What are you saying?’

‘I have come to know what McLeod is like,’ she said.

Kate glanced at Ewan, but he shrugged. ‘It will be nothing of importance I imagine,’ he said, and rose to attend to cattle that he had put in the barn earlier in the evening.

‘I have crossed McLeod,’ said Martha evenly. ‘Someone must pay for that.’

Kate shook her head, but her voice lacked conviction. Something was being admitted which she knew but did not want to think about. Something she had known for a long time, and knew very well.

‘Then why Lewis?’ she asked.

‘Because he would prefer not to be seen punishing me.’

‘But that’s wickedness.’

The air was heavy. ‘Yes,’ said Martha, ‘it is, isn’t it?’

‘You’re imagining things,’ said Kate, as she picked up her sewing and moved closer to the fire. There was a ringing in her ears; she was faint from it.

Much later that night, Eoghann and Lewis returned. Martha had gone to bed. ‘There is nothing to wait up for,’ Kate had said, and seeing that her mother wished to sit on her own, Martha had left her.

Lewis’ face was tear-stained. He went past Kate and straight to the room he shared with Ewan, so that she barely glimpsed him.

Eoghann sat down beside her. Age and despondency were all about him as he settled his bulk on the chair.

‘The boy’s been stealing,’ he said.

Kate’s sewing fell out of her hands, her astonishment genuine. People did not steal at St Ann’s. The greatest insult one neighbour could inflict on another would be to lock a door, whether absent for an hour or a month. Each home was open to the next, so that if anyone was short of an item, be it food or a blanket if there was a passing traveller, or an iron pot for extra preserving, nobody need ever ask. Theft was not to be considered.

‘Lewis? Our boy? There is a mistake.’

‘No mistake. Murdoch Morrison had money taken this morning.
Fraser McIssac saw Lewis pause there on his way to school.’

‘Fraser …? I don’t believe what I’m hearing. Where was Hector …? Does Lewis admit this?’

‘Of course he doesn’t.’

‘Why of course? Lewis doesn’t lie.’

‘That we knew of.’

‘Well, what has he done with this money?’

‘I don’t know. Look don’t you start asking me questions, I’ve had McLeod at me for hours, over and over and over.’

‘It’s a lie.’ Martha was standing at the door in her nightdress.

‘Martha, please, it is a mistake.’ The ringing in her ears threatened to overwhelm her.

‘I tell you, it’s a lie.’ Martha’s voice was rising.

‘Tell her to get out. Has she no modesty?’ Eoghann’s voice was hard and rough.

‘Father, you don’t know.’

‘I will send you myself.’ He was on his feet, his hand raised towards her face. She cowered and disappeared into the shadows.

‘May God forgive you for that,’ said Kate.

‘You too? Have you all turned into madmen and thieves? The evidence is against him. Don’t you see that? You can’t protect your children forever. You have to let them stand on their own feet. Take the consequences, answer for themselves. Face reality.’

‘This is reality?’ Kate asked him.

The silence between them now was one of shock. Eoghann had never questioned their lives at St Ann’s, and Kate, looking at his expression, suspected that he never would. Thinking back to the day of the hanging, she remembered him as he had been before. He had seemed to think for her and the children, made decisions; stood in judgment of those who did not, or who failed in their undertakings. After that day, he had stopped thinking and let McLeod do it for him. Though now she saw that McLeod had simply made decisions which Eoghann followed, while it was she, Kate, who had done the thinking. As Martha was doing too. Well perhaps she should leave it to her. Or someone. She was too tired to keep on doing it for them all.

In the silent house their old clock chimed midnight.

‘What do you think we should do?’ she said at last.

Eoghann sighed with what she could see was relief and she
understood what she had never before, that he could not see that she was thinking, or that she would think of doing things other than his way. Even when he had asked her to consider coming to St Ann’s, it had been a kindness extended to a young wife. Really, there had never been any choice.

He was speaking. She had to concentrate to make sense of what he was saying.

‘There’s to be a meeting of the school trustees tomorrow night. Norman will preside as magistrate, to decide what’s to be done. He suggests Lewis should go along.’

That was another thing she thought of, and it increased her anger. McLeod was everything, minister, teacher, magistrate, there was nothing except trading — which he left to John Munro — that he was not in charge of, and every facet of their lives was controlled by him. They could do nothing without first turning to him.

‘You’ll go with the boy?’ she said, containing herself.

‘That’s not necessary.’

‘But Eoghann …’

‘Don’t you understand? What it has been like tonight? The shame? They’ll decide on a punishment that fits, and that will be that. Mine is to live with what he’s done.’

‘Mine too, it seems,’ said Kate.

He turned to go upstairs, waiting for her to follow, but she went back to the fire. ‘I’ll come up later, I’ve some sewing to finish.’

When finally she did go and lie beside him, he put his hand to take hers as he used to do when they were young, but she turned on her side and pretended to fall straight into sleep. So it was they passed the night until towards dawn, when they slept fitfully.

In the evening, Kate spoke to Eoghann. ‘Has Lewis said that he will go?’

‘I am seeing to it that he does. I have told Ewan to accompany him.’

‘And it will be no shame to him?’

‘He will find it educational,’ said Eoghann grimly.

‘What do you think will happen?’

‘Oh a good dressing down I expect. He may have to do some extra work for the Man. You worry too much,’ he relented towards her.
In the schoolroom they were gathered, school trustees and elders of St Ann’s. They had come to discuss theological matters and a working party to provide more slates and books in the school. They sat in long rows down the side of the room as the children did. McLeod sat at the desk in front. Well, there was nothing unusual about that, only why was he convening a court at this hour of the night? There was a shuffling amongst them. It was already late. Some of those gathered had not heard that there was trouble in the district, but they had seen Lewis MacKenzie brought in by a side door at the beginning of the meeting.

Now he was ushered forth from the side room where he had been waiting with his brother.

McLeod leaned forward. ‘So tell me, boy. Do you practise
self-abuse
? Come, speak up?’

‘No, sir.’

‘Have unnatural thoughts?’

‘No, sir.’

‘You are sure now?’

‘Yes, sir.’

‘You are not going to cry, are you? Come, you are a man. Aye, that is better. But it is true, is it not, that you stole Mr Morrison’s money? Climbed through the window? Eh, now that is how it happened. Speak up, Lewis.’

At the back of the room Ewan MacKenzie half-rose to his feet and was pulled down by hands on every side. McLeod nodded his approval to those who had restrained him.

‘Speak to me, Lewis. You have not lost your voice have you? You have told me that you are not girlish in your ways. Haven’t you?’

‘Yes, sir.’

‘And you took the money?’

‘Yes, sir.’

‘Sire, I demand to speak.’ Ewan’s voice rose from the back of the room.

‘Young man, you will be removed from this court if you speak again.’

McLeod tipped himself back in his chair now, closing his eyes in contemplation of the matter before him, while the hush in the room held an air of mystery and excitement. The men leaned towards one another and away again. They had not expected this tonight; blood
sang in their ears as they looked at the youth before them.

They watched him and they watched McLeod, perched hawkishly in front of them as he tipped his chair back then forward again to hunch over the desk. His hands were held prayerfully before him.

‘There are kinder punishments than whipping or the stocks,’ he began, ‘both of which would be meted out in Sydney town if he is sent there for further trial. Or they may send him to jail. He is young, and the way things are in the jails there he may perish with the cold at this time of year. I think we can deal mercifully with this matter here amongst ourselves. What do you say, my friends?’

They had drunk warm sweet tea all evening. They had nothing to say to each other as they waited for their sons, this man and wife. Towards eleven, the door opened and Ewan came in. He went straight to Kate without looking at his father and touched her shoulder.

‘Where is he, Ewan?’

‘Outside.’

‘Why doesn’t he come in?’

‘He wants me to tell you, before you see him … that he is hurt.’

Lewis stood at the door. One side of his head was covered with blood and his eyes stared somewhere beyond her. He held his scarf awkwardly near his face.

Eoghann’s face was terrible as he took his son’s hand and drew it away. Where once there had been an ear, now there was only part of it.

‘How?’ he said.

‘With the sword,’ said Ewan, speaking for Lewis.

Eoghann touched his son’s face, then reached out for Kate’s hand but she snatched it away. ‘I am sorry,’ he said.

‘Sorrow will never be good enough for this night’s work,’ she said.

‘I will ride to Sydney tomorrow to see the best lawyer I can find.’

‘Will that restore his ear?’

She placed the shocked youth before the fire, fetching water and a bandage, heating a poker to cauterise the wound. The voice she used to Eoghann was hard, but to Lewis she uttered hushing noises as if he was a bird.

‘I’ll have his innocence defended.’

‘Oh his innocence now, is it? Eoghann, go outside and tell that to
the night air. Tell it to the moon and stars. You’re easily bewitched. Or is it that the wizard got your tongue when you had the chance to defend your son before?’

In the morning, when she was sure he had gone, she climbed out of bed and went downstairs to make up the fire. Martha was already there poking around in the cold embers.

‘I hate him,’ said Martha. She was on her knees with her back to Kate.

‘We thought he was like God when we were young,’ said Kate as she poured water into the kettle and scooped out flour to begin the bread. Her back ached, a long score of pain along her spine. So many parts of her hurt, she could think of little except the pleasure of rest.

‘Your father still thinks like that.’

‘It was my father I was speaking of,’ Martha replied. She straightened. ‘How is Lewis?’

‘Still sleeping. I gave him a powder last night, some roots that Isabella McIssac ground up for me in the summer. He should sleep awhile yet.’

‘Isabella McIssac! That woman.’

‘It won’t be her fault. She may be strange, but it is the men in that family who are warped. Or most of them.’

‘It is fair enough to say that.’

They spun round at the sound of Isabella’s voice at the door. She stood waiting to be invited into the room. Martha and Kate wordlessly stood aside.

‘I have some news for you,’ said Isabella as she shed her cloak.

‘What has the boy done now? What is his latest felony?’

‘Wait.’

‘Oh don’t tell me. McLeod is cutting off arms and legs now. We should line our children up outside the door to make it easier for him.’

‘I have come to tell you that it was not Lewis.’

‘I know it was not.’

‘But not everyone had your faith. They weren’t his mother … Well. It was a peddler, Kate. That fool Murdoch Morrison showed him where the money was. Or as good as. The peddler came to Murdoch’s door and he bought something from him. He took his
money out from where he keeps it, in full view. In all his excitement, running around telling everybody he had been robbed, he forgot about that.’