The Boss's Love (9 page)

             
Jackie read the instructions to her through the bathroom door. Luckily the office was empty except for the two of them. 

             
Once Courtney finished, she put the cap back onto the stick and opened the bathroom door to wait. Jackie grabbed a bottle of water and handed it to her.   

             
"Take sips, don't chug," Jackie ordered.

             
"It's not a beer, Jackie," she said sarcastically.

             
"Maybe it was beer that got you into this," Jackie retorted.

             
Courtney chuckled. "It wouldn't be beer, it would be wine."

             
"Ah, yes, the dreaded wine night." 

             
Both women giggled.  

             
After the eight minute wait, Courtney went back to the bathroom to confirm the results. She stood stock-still and stared at the stick, unable to tear her eyes away. 

             
"Well?" Jackie eagerly asked.

             
"I'm pregnant," Courtney whispered horrified.

***

              Seated on the lounger on the back deck, Courtney stared off into woods that fenced the yard. How did her pills fail? She wasn't on an antibiotic or taking any other medication. What the hell happened? And how the hell was she going to deal with this? She wasn't ready. 

             
Her thoughts went to all she wanted to accomplish before her and Darren started a family. She wanted to spend more time with her husband traveling, going out late at night and not coming home until three in the morning, then getting up at seven to be back at work by eight. If they wanted ice cream at two in the morning, they could get up and go. She wanted to relish those days before she needed to settle down with a baby. 

             
For the longest time her mind raced with scenarios and possibilities before she came to the only conclusion she had left. She couldn't tell Darren about the pregnancy. Quietly she'd take care of the situation and end it. When she felt ready to become a mother, she would plan it with her husband. 

Darren

              Darren watched his wife from the kitchen window. Something was up. After scarcely touching her dinner, she had excused herself, stating she needed fresh air. For an hour he had kept a close eye on her but decided not to intervene. He left her with her thoughts to work out what he assumed was her shock of a surprise pregnancy. The problem was that when his wife became withdrawn it always turned out disastrous. She hadn't yet confirmed her pregnancy, which concerned him. He pulled out his cell phone and texted Jack and Carl with orders to keep a close watch on his wife.

***

Courtney

             
The next morning Courtney left for work earlier than usual. She kept her normal routine not to draw Darren’s attention and feigned going to work.   

             
At quarter after nine in the morning Courtney parked her car at the clinic in downtown Pittsburgh. She had called first thing that morning and managed to get an appointment at ten. Since she had arrived a few minutes early, she remained in her car and internally debated on whether she was taking the right course of action.

             
Deep down it went against her core beliefs not to tell her husband. There was nothing she kept from Darren. Not since the day they met. Yes, the decision to go behind his back was wrong and she prayed if he ever found out he would forgive her. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks. She couldn't approach him with the pregnancy subject. He wouldn’t see her point. She jerked her hand from her stomach when she realized she absently ran her hand over her belly.  

             
9:20

             
The soft music of the radio didn't do anything to soothe her wayward thoughts.
Maybe this wasn’t a good idea
. What if Darren found out? He would kill her. Figuratively of course. She swiped at the fallen tears. He would forgive her. Darren loved her too deeply to hold a grudge. They’d get past the decision. Though she vowed to go to her grave with it.    

             
9:25

             
She climbed out of her car and headed towards the clinic entrance. 

             
"Courtney." 

             
Her entire body stiffened and stopped in its tracks at the sound of her husband's voice behind her. 

Darren

             
Now he had his wife's attention. Desperately he tried to maintain his composure with an even voice, though rage threatened to choke him. What the fuck was his wife doing?   

             
Keep calm.

             
Darren stepped up behind his wife. Her body stood stock still like a cornered animal. He took in her sweet scent of vanilla and lavender that encircled his nose at their close proximity. Home. She was his home. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he gently spun her to face him. Tears streaked her soft cheeks. His heart melted. His Courtney felt she wasn't ready to become a mother. He should have been more understanding and proactive with the baby subject before it had gone too far. His fault. He reached up and wiped the tears. 

             
"I'm sorry," she whispered.

             
"I know." 

             
"I'm not ready." 

             
"I know, but I'll help you." He took a step closer and placed his hand on her stomach. 

             
"But‒"

             
"Shhh, you can't do this, honey," he said firmly, not to be trifled.

             
Her legs gave out and she collapsed into his strong arms. He cradled her against his chest and kissed her forehead.  

             
"Baby, I will never allow you to fail."

             
"I'm not ready, Darren. I want to spend more time with just you. Relish in our honeymoon stage and learn to be a good wife. Pick up and fly across the world if we want or stay out until two in the morning. If we decide to grab a pizza at four in the morning, after making love to each other for hours, I want to be able to do that without thinking twice." She sobbed into his chest. "What kind of mother could I be? I don't have it in me, Darren. I never have." 

             
"Of course you will be an excellent mother. You're loving, you're caring, and you'll have me by your side to help you every step of the way," he said devotedly. "This baby is half of both of us. You'll love him or her because of the half of me that makes up our child. If it's a son, you'll adore him because he is my son. If it's a girl, you'll adore her because she'll be my princess."

             
When she looked into his eyes, he made sure she felt nothing but love and devotion for her and the possibility of a family. She leaned her head into his chest and sighed.    

             
"I love you," she whispered.

             
"I love you too, baby. Please come home with me," he pleaded. If he got her home and away from the abortion clinic, he knew he succeeded in changing her mind. At least momentarily.

             
"Okay," she said, her voice barely audible.

             
Darren squeezed her and kissed her on top of the head. "That's my girl."

             
He helped her off the ground, slipped her purse off her shoulder, and handed it to Carl, who stood off to the side with Jack. "Take her car, Courtney is coming with me." 

             
"Yes, Boss." 

             
Darren led Courtney to his SUV and helped her slide into the back seat. After he situated next to her, he pulled her protectively into his body for comfort. Whether it was for him or her, he wasn’t quite sure. But one thing was certain, once he felt confident her decision to keep the baby was solidified, he planned on lighting into his wife. He was beyond furious.

***

Courtney

             
A week after Darren had caught her outside the abortion clinic, Courtney hadn't been allowed to be left alone for one minute. Jack or Carl drove her anywhere she needed to go. To work, to showings, to the store. Never alone. Not that she blamed her husband.

             
Her morning sickness continued, creating a new routine of vomiting, ginger ale, and dry toast or saltine crackers to start her day.  

             
While she waited for Jack to grab the SUV to take her home, Courtney thought about her now strained marriage. His usual surprise visits during her workday had disappeared. No calls to check in on her. Which meant his anger towards her must have been epic. He wasn’t speaking to her except to make certain she ate or asked how she felt. She sighed heavily. What a mess she had created but needed to fix. Immediately.  

Darren

              Darren heard Courtney come into the house but he remained in the kitchen. He refused to greet her. He continued to have a difficult time getting past her betrayal. He hadn’t voiced his anger, afraid she’d go behind his back again but this time succeed in ending the pregnancy. Instead he held his anger close to the chest. 

             
He heard her step into the kitchen while he continued preparing a grilled chicken dinner. 

             
"That smells good," she said.

             
That surprised him. Nothing smelled remotely appealing to her. Her stomached turned at the slightest scent of food. 

             
"Are you hungry?" he asked hopeful. He was concerned about her loss of appetite and weight.  

             
"I am, for a change," she said, giving him her warm, loving smile. 

             
Unable to help himself, he smiled in return. Even pale and sickly she was the most beautiful creature in the world. He abandoned the dinner and gave her a peck on the lips. 

             
"Thank you." She choked back on tears.

             
Darren pulled away, unsure of what happened. "For what, honey?" 

             
"For everything." He watched her take a deep breath and close her eyes. When she opened them, she looked at him with a resolve evident. “Give it to me." 

             
He stared at her. His wife wasn't a stupid woman. But what would she do about the baby if he released his anger?

             
"Court..."

             
"I won't do anything stupid, Darren." She took in another deep, cleansing breath. "I deserve whatever you’re going to give me. It’ll make you feel better and put us back on track. We haven't been right since that day. I want us normal again. I hate this. I know how much you’d be relishing in this pregnancy but you haven't because of my poor decision."

             
Darren's jaw tightened as his mind went back to the moment he got the phone call from Carl that Courtney pulled into an abortion clinic parking lot. Jack couldn't have driven fast enough to get him there. Luckily she had stayed in her car, which gave him the opportunity to confront her. Otherwise he would have gone inside and dragged her ass out of the building. He closed his eyes and vividly recalled the absolute tense minutes until he managed to get her back into his hands.  

             
He opened his eyes and let loose. "You had no right making that kind of decision without speaking to me,” he bellowed. “And I know why you did it. You knew that I would argue and say no. But you went behind my back, Courtney! How am I ever supposed to trust you again?" 

             
She gasped, horrified. 

             
"My baby!
My baby
! You were willing to get rid of my baby. You had no right. None!" He pegged her stomach. "That baby belongs to me as much as it belongs to you, and you were going to make a life changing decision without me. I would never do such a thing to you. I love you too damn much to do such a horrendous thing to our marriage and your trust, but you took that away from me and from us. Didn't you?" He slammed his fist on the island. His anger had boiled over. He turned, picked up the pan of chicken, and whipped it across the room, shattering everything in its path. He needed to get the hell out of there. He stormed passed her and out of the house. The look of devastation and hurt would be forever burned into his memory.

***