The Boy Who Paints Me (20 page)

I spent that night, lying in bed thinking that my mom had a plan. I thought that it was all an act earlier and that she would sneak into my room at night with a suitcase, pack our stuff and run far away; away from Mitch. I stayed up all night waiting to hear her footsteps but they never came. I lay in the same spot for the next three years. The only difference was that I did hear footsteps but when my bedroom door opened, it was never her...

“No,” I finally answered, “she’s not with him, I lied.”

“I don’t understand,” she said as she pulled me gently away from her.

“I don’t know where she is,” I said after a long sigh escaped my lips.

“What happened?” She asked with worried eyes.

“That day that she called you, do you remember?” I asked as I looked into her eyes. She nodded her head. “That was the first day that my
stepdad
hit her.”

“What?” She gasped as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

“He’s possessive and controlling. He didn’t want us to have friends or family or...anything. You were the last part of our life that he wanted to take away. It was my fault. I was screaming at her to get rid of him, so that we could come to see you. I made her feel guilty, and so she tried to reason with him and he...he hit her. There was blood everywhere,” I said as warm tears heated my cheeks.

“Oh gosh, Rainie, come here,” she said as she cradled me again. “It wasn’t your fault, sweetie, it wasn’t your fault,” she said as she rocked me. I pulled away. I needed to finish, I needed to say it before I couldn’t do it.

“That was the first time. It became a regular thing after that. He was much more discreet after though, leaving bruises where no one would see, but I knew.”

“Weren’t the police involved?”

“She was scared, we both were. His threats were so real, he isn’t the kind of guy you should challenge,” I said as I began feeling sick at the thought of Mitch. “Eventually, it was just too much, I guess. She ran away,” I scoffed as I thought about how she’d left me behind.

“She left you there?” My aunt asked as an angry expression filled her face. I nodded my head, unable to say the words. “Oh my gosh, how could she,” she said as she stood to her feet and began pacing. I watched as she walked up and down, trying to process her different thoughts. Suddenly she froze and turned to look at me. “Did he...did he hurt you?” She asked as the tears flew down her cheeks.

“No,”
not in the way that you think. He let others hurt me.

“Thank, God,” she said as she ran over to me and wrapped her arms around me. “So, what happened?”

I took a deep breath. “I thought that she would come back for me. I thought that she was just trying to find us somewhere to live but I knew deep down that I was wrong. I waited for her, every night, for a month, she never came, so I ran...here.”

“He doesn’t know where I live?” She asked. I shook my head. “You told Leighton?” She asked, catching me completely off guard. I nodded my head in confusion. “He looked like he thought someone dangerous was here when he ran in tonight, he thought that it was Derek, didn’t he?” She asked.

“Yes,” I whispered, finally understanding her earlier question.

“I’m so sorry, Rainie. If I had known, I would have protected you, I would hav-“

“You couldn’t have known. It was all part of the plan. You weren’t supposed to know, we were trying to protect you.”

“And who was protecting you, huh?” She said in a sad voice. I didn’t answer.

“I like it here,” I whispered after a few minutes of silence.

“I like you being here.”

“I want to stay but if he comes here...”I couldn’t finish the sentence.

“That won’t happen but if he does, I promise you that you will
never
be alone again. I will never let anyone hurt you,” she said confidently, making me feel safe. Not as safe as Leighton did but close.

“What about my mom?” I asked, wondering how she felt.

“I can’t think about her right now, Rainie, I just can’t.”

I knew that I couldn’t tell her anything else that happened in those three years, and I was going to keep it that way. She was hurting enough. I thought that maybe if my mom had real love, her sister’s love, maybe she could change. Maybe she could get better...maybe.

* * *

Aunt Sarah and I spent the night catching up. We didn’t talk about Mitch or my mom again, and I was grateful.

“Right, time for me to go to bed. I’m in early tomorrow,” Aunt Sarah said as she stretched her arms in the air and yawned.

“You don’t get a day off?”

“Not often. You staying down?” I shook my head. “Ok, well if you need anything, you know where I am, ok?”

“Ok.”

We walked up the stairs in silence and headed towards our separate rooms.

“Night, Rainie,” she said as she smiled at me.

“Night,” I whispered as my hand made contact with the door handle.

“I love you, ok?” She continued in a sad voice.

“You too, Aunt Sarah,” I replied as I tried to enter my room as quickly as I could. I closed the door as fast as I could and locked it. I ran over to the closet, grabbed a t-shirt out of my black bag, shoved it in my mouth and screamed. It was a habit that I had acquired over the years, to stop myself from crying. Crying when one of Mitch’s favors were around was not an option. I let my back slide down the closet door until I hit the floor. I pulled my knees to my chest and tried to forget about the day I had just had.

I had been curled up, almost falling asleep, for about ten minutes when a light tap on my window caught my attention. I knew the sound straight away. It was the same way that he knocked the door. I pulled the tee out of my mouth, threw it in the closet and made my way to the window. I pulled up the blinds and was met by the lopsided smile on Leighton’s face.

“Open up,” he mimed, looking at the window.

“Oh yeah, sorry,” I whispered before unlocking the window and sliding it up. I watched in silence as he climbed, quietly through the window before turning back around to lock it. He slid his shoes off with his toes and placed them next to my bed. I stood, staring at him, trying to figure out what he was doing. He straightened up and just stared at me before speaking.

“Come here,” it was all that it took for the tears to escape my eyes. I let myself fall into his chest and it felt like...home. He smelt so good, and he was so warm. In that moment, I was so glad that I came back. He held me in silence for what seemed like eternity.

“You climbed up my aunt’s house?” I chuckled as I finally pulled back to look at him.

“Yeah, I saw this girl do it once. It looked interesting,” he said as he smiled at me.

“Her climb wasn’t as successful,” I replied with an amused grin on my face, “luckily for her, a guy caught her.”

“He’ll always catch her,” he whispered as he cupped the side of my cheek, causing me to close my eyes. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I spoke to my Aunt, I didn’t tell her everything but it was enough.”

“How did she take it?”

“Better than I thought.”

“Good,” he said before we walked over to my bed and sat on the edge.

“Yeah...”

“Thank you.”

“Huh?” I asked as I looked at him in confusion.

“I know that you drove off early,” he whispered.

“Leighton, I-“

“Came back, I know, that’s why I’m saying thank you,” he took a deep breath before wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me closer. I felt the warmth of his head against my hair and melted into him. “My mom and dad left me, Rai. They never even changed their minds or tried to come back,
for me,
they just left. You panicked, you ran but you came back...why?”

I took a deep breath before answering his question. I knew that once I said it, I couldn’t take it back. I decided that I didn’t care.

“When you touch me, I can
feel
it, really feel it, and when you touch me, I feel safe. I can’t live without that now that I know that it exists. It may sound selfish but I need you.”

“I need you too, Rai, I really, really need you. I don’t care what you do, get mad at me, yell, stop talking to me but just don’t leave me...please,” his eyes were pleading with me, and I felt the tears start to fall. As his thumb wiped away the tear that was trickling down my cheek, I knew the answer.

“I won’t...I won’t leave you, Leighton,” The kiss came so fast, it nearly knocked me off the bed. He pulled me and lifted me onto his lap so easily that I felt like a feather. My thighs were either side of his as his hands rested on my lower back, pulling me even closer. This kiss was different...it was hungry, fierce and filled with so much passion. I wanted it, I wanted it so bad, and more importantly...I wanted him. I slipped my fingers into his dark hair and pulled him even closer, trying to savour the taste of his lips as if I couldn’t get enough. His smell, his touch, his everything was intoxicating to me. He was filling me up with something that I had never had. My body was responding in a foreign way, and my need to feel his skin against mine was driving me crazy.

I pulled away from the kiss and looked into his darkened eyes. His eyes were scanning my face, trying to understand why I had pulled away. Before he could speak, I dropped my hands to the edge of his tee and yanked it over his head. As my eyes met with the firm ripples of his chest, a moan escaped my lips, causing him to pull me closer. His lips were heated by a passion that I never even knew existed until just this moment. My lips were hot and swollen but I didn’t care. None of that mattered; all that mattered was him and me. 

“You’re driving me crazy, Rai,” he whispered in between kisses, only making my need for him increase. I let the tips of my fingers trace the muscles of his chest, taking my time. His hands slipped into my hair as his tongue plunged deeper into my mouth. His reaction caused the excitement in me to quadruple. Nothing in the world felt like this...this was beyond crazy. I lost count of the amount of times, I was kissed or touched like this, and I hated it. Every night for the past three years, I died inside my own body, letting someone else take over. I had been void of feeling and emotion for so long that this awakening was making me go completely insane. I wanted to be woken up, I so desperately wanted it. Every touch left my skin burning. Every time he stopped touching me, I wanted to beg him to touch me again, feeling empty where his hands had left unattended.

I moved back once again, causing a confused expression to fill his face as he stared into my eyes. I pulled up the edges of my top until it was over my head and lying on the floor, next to his. His eyes looked back at me in surprise as he took in the black lace bra that sat above, my now, bare skin.

“Rai, no,” he whispered as he tried to shift my weight.

“Wait, please. I just want you to touch me, that’s all.”

“Rai,” he breathed as he stared at me with sad eyes.

“I’ve never been touched because I want to,” I whispered as I ignored the tears that rolled down my hot cheeks. “I just need someone to touch me, for me, I need
you
to touch me. I need your touch to erase theirs, please,” I begged.

I saw the hesitation in his eyes as he stared at me as though he wanted to cry for me. After a solid minute he pulled me back towards him and kissed me. He didn’t use his tongue; he just held his lips against mine. It took me a minute to realise that he had lifted me in the air. I felt him turn my body around before he gently lay me down on the bed. He silently turned my legs so that my head sank into the fluffy pillows on my bed. He never took his eyes off my face the whole time. He kept staring at me as though he were gauging my response. He slowly climbed over me until his hips were straddling mine, keeping his gaze locked permanently on mine. Constantly asking permission with his eyes; I silently granted it without hesitation. He bent down, until his lips met mine again. He slowly kissed his way up my jaw until his mouth was next to my ear.