The Boyfriend Bet (LDS Fiction) (10 page)

"I knew deep in my heart that it was just an accident. As hard as it was to admit, accidents happen. Yes, there were things that could've been done to prevent the situation, but we can't live our lives wondering 'what if' all the time."

He took a deep breath and disengaged our hands to run his fingers through his hair. Sitting up straight, he continued.

"Because I was so distracted by trying to help Jocelyn and save my marriage, I neglected my responsibilities at the restaurant. The business was not doing well, and I didn't have the energy or time to put into it. One day, I was approached by a stranger, who wanted to buy the business. It seemed like the perfect opportunity, especially because of the fact that I needed the cash to help pay for Jocelyn’s medical bills. We didn’t have health insurance, so her doctors’ bills and medications had started to really add up; on top of the already staggering bill for the ambulance and emergency room visit because of Tyson's accident.  I also needed the money to get caught up on the bills from the funeral.  Things were going downhill really fast and I had been so out of touch, I wasn’t even aware that things were as bad as they were.

"So I sold the restaurant, used the cash to get caught up on our finances, and started looking for full-time work. Looking back, selling the restaurant was a miracle.  A stranger came in, unsolicited, paid top dollar for a dying diner and gave me the financial means to not only pay off all of our debts, but to have a small balance to live off of for several months while I looked for other work."

I gave him a small smile and suggested, "Maybe the stranger was a gift from God to help you after all you had suffered.  Maybe God didn’t want to see you also have to go through bankruptcy, you had already been through enough at that point."

"Maybe…Through this whole experience, Jocelyn grew more and more distant, to the point where she didn't want to have anything to do with me. Her depression was so severe that she didn't want to leave the house, she didn't take care of herself, and she had no motivation to do anything. All she did was lay around the house all day and watch TV.

"I tried everything I could think of to help her. I finally took my mom’s advice and asked one of Jocelyn’s friends for help and she started coming over each day to make sure she ate something and she helped with the housework and laundry. I don’t know what might have happened if my mom hadn’t made that suggestion."

"I’m glad you had somebody to help you through that time of your life." I told him as I took his hand again and gave it a little squeeze.  I didn’t usually make the first move when it came to hand holding and such, but his story really pulled at my heart strings and I hurt knowing that he had been through such a tremendous loss. 

"I knew Jocelyn was going through a lot, and that she was hurting over the loss of our son, so I gave her a lot of latitude, and did everything in my power to let her know that she was loved. I told her that I would stay by her side through thick and thin, and that I wasn't giving up on the marriage covenants that I had made to her. When we got married, we promise to stay together through good times and bad times, and I was giving it one hundred percent. It didn’t seem to make any difference to her. She had completely cut me off from all communication. Most days, I couldn’t even get her to look at me directly when I spoke to her.

"To make matters even worse, because of the slow economy, I was having a hard time finding a full-time job. In the area where we were living, the best that I could do was working as a pizza delivery driver. I took the job, because something was better than nothing. So during the day, I submitted resumes and went to interviews, and during the evening, I delivered pepperoni and cheese to get by.

"One night, I came home from a ten-hour shift to find the house dark. When I went inside, I found that Jocelyn was gone and that she had taken all of her clothes from the closet and dresser. I found a note sitting on the kitchen counter, and she told me that she didn't want to be in our marriage anymore and that she was leaving. She told me she would contact me to discuss getting the divorce proceedings started.

"I tried to talk her out of it when she called. I promised her anything and everything I thought that she wanted. But when we talked, she told me that it was just too hard to be around me, because every time she saw me, she was reminded of Tyson. She said that she needed a fresh start, a new life to start over with. She had been seeing a counselor who had told her that she would probably never be able to look at me without thoughts of Tyson and his senseless death being present.

"I tried to convince her that we needed to see a counselor together so we could work through these feelings she was having. I offered to contact one of the leaders at the church and she adamantly refused to have any part of that. She not only blamed me for Tyson’s death, but also God for allowing it to happen. She said that she was done with religion and believing in God, because she believed that God had let her down.

"I felt completely empty inside. I lost my son, I lost my wife, and I lost my business. I didn't know what to do with myself. I decided that I should leave
California
as well, so I moved in with my parents in
Salt Lake City
for a month as I was trying to decide what to do next.

"My parents were very supportive, and that month was completely focused on turning to God to discover what he wanted me to do with my life. I had lost everything, and I knew that the only way forward was to trust in God completely. It was a lot of work, but I knew that the only way I could make it through my trials was by learning to trust in God and what He had in store for me.

"Through prayer, scripture study, and fasting, I learned that I could either let these experiences make me a bitter person, or that I could choose to understand that everything happens for a reason. I knew that my life was in God's hands, so I decided to move forward with the attitude of learning from my experiences and becoming a better person.

"I felt like it would be a good thing to go back to school to get an advanced degree, because then I would be qualified for more jobs that were available in the job market. I ran into Sean over the Fourth of July and he told me how great USU was and that he and his roommates were going to have an open bedroom starting this fall and it was mine if I wanted it. After checking out their master’s degree programs and applying to the graduate studies program, I started looking for a job in
Logan
. I made the move on faith, feeling like it was the right decision to make, and here I am."

We were both silent for a moment as I thought about all of the things that Patrick had just told me. He had been through so much, and was handling the situation so well. No wonder he was nervous about dating, it would be a scary thing to get back into the dating scene after an experience like that. He had dealt with some many complex things in such a short timeframe; my situation with Keaton paled in comparison.

"Wow, I don't know what to say. You've been through so much, and I totally understand why you want to take things slow. I'm sorry for your loss, I wish there was something I could say or do to help."

"There's nothing anybody can do in this type of a situation. The only thing I know how to do is to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and take things a day at a time. I'm officially divorced, as of a month ago. The divorce went through quickly, because we didn't have many assets to divide and neither one of us contested the other’s request.

"Part of me longs for the companionship of a woman in my life, especially as I haven't had a good relationship for several years now because things were so up and down with Jocelyn and I. But it scares me to spend time with another woman. You're the only woman that I've dated since the divorce. In fact, this is the first time I've been interested in another woman in a long time."

"Now I understand why things were so off and on, especially right when we first met. One minute you seemed interested, and the next minute you seemed like you were scared out of your mind. Don't worry, Patrick, I understand that you need to do what's best for yourself, especially because you’re still trying to get back on your feet."

"Thanks Shara, I appreciate your understanding. Yes, I may seem confident on the outside, but I am scared little puppy on the inside. The truth is, I'm a good actor." Patrick laughed to try to lighten the mood. He smiled, "You’re such a sweet girl, and I can't help but think that God helped us to meet at this time for a reason."

"I've wondered the same thing, because we seem to get along so well. It’s been a long time since I've met a guy who has so many similar interests and likes."

Hearing him talk about the possibility of our relationship made me uncomfortable, especially because of the fact that he had just poured out his heart to me. I knew that I couldn't let him know about the bet. If he ever found out, it would crush him... especially because this was the first relationship that he had ventured into since his divorce.

There was a little voice in my head screaming that I should run away fast, especially before things got any more serious between the two of us. My own commitment issues were kicking in, I knew that I would end up hurting him if he became even more attached to our relationship.

On the other hand, there was a part of me that longed to comfort him. I wanted to be there to listen to him as he talked through his thoughts, his worries, and his pain. I wanted to be the person who could show him that love was possible, even after going through a hard experience like he did.

"I went through a pretty bad breakup as well, but it wasn't nearly as traumatic as the experiences that you’ve had. I was engaged to the guy, and we called it off a few weeks before our wedding date. But, I can tell you that story another night. You look tired, and it's getting late."

"Yeah, I am tired. It's emotionally draining to tell that story. This is the first time I've shared that much detail with anyone outside of my family. Thanks for listening."

"No problem, I’m honored that you felt comfortable enough to tell me. Don't be stressed about us, because we can take it just a day at a time and see how things go. I'm not in any rush to settle into a committed relationship, especially because I'm trying to finish my MBA right now.  I really like the thought of just hanging out and getting to know one another better."

"Thanks for understanding." Patrick reached over and held my hand for just a moment, and we sat in the car in silence.

"It's getting late; I better walk you to your door." Patrick got out of the car and walked around to open my door. He kept his hand on my lower back as we walked up the sidewalk. One we got to the front door he gave me a hug and told me goodnight and turned around and went back to his car.

As I lay in my bed that night, my prayers were all for Patrick and even Jocelyn. I just couldn’t even imagine the pain they must have both gone through and were still trying to deal with. I prayed for strength and comfort and peace for Patrick. I asked God to continue to guide Patrick on the path He wanted him to take. I prayed that somehow Jocelyn would find peace and joy again and that God would bring the right people into her life to help her overcome this crisis.

I also offered a prayer for myself, asking God to help me understand the best pathway forward with Patrick. I explained my nervousness to God and asked for a peaceful heart and the inspiration that I needed to understand the situation more clearly so that I wouldn't hurt Patrick in any way.

As I drifted off to sleep, I gave thanks for the many blessings God had brought into my life and asked for continued guidance for the coming days. I could feel the comfort of God's hand in my life, and I was so thankful to know that He was there watching over me.

I awakened in the middle of the night and lay there in the dark, staring at the ceiling. Sleep was proving to be difficult after hearing Patrick's story. He had been through a lot over the past few years, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I didn't want to be another sad piece of the story.

I had started dating him because of the bet. But in the course of our dating, I'd grown very fond of him... which was a scary thing to admit out loud. Did I want to continue exploring the relationship possibilities with him? Or would it be better for me to step away so that I didn't hurt him if things didn't work out? If we continued to date and he got more attached to me, then it would be more likely that I could potentially hurt him. I didn't want to do that.

I felt as though I was at a crossroads, a critical point where the decision needed to be made about what I wanted and what I was going to do. I decided that I no longer cared about the bet; it was fine if I didn't win. I could buy Kendra the new phone; I knew that it was okay if I didn't win this one. Usually, I had a strong competitive personality, but the competitive side of me had been won over by the tender feelings that I felt for Patrick.

We had our fifth date scheduled for Friday, and I decided that I would still go with him. But I was going on the date because I wanted to spend time with him, not because I wanted to win the bet. In fact, maybe I could talk to Kendra before going on the date and let her know that I was giving in because I didn't want to have any feelings of guilt hanging over my head when I went out with Patrick on Friday.

As I made up my mind to give up on the bet, I felt much more peaceful and at ease with the situation. I could move forward with a clean conscience, understanding that I was dating Patrick for the right reasons, and being true to my own heart.

The decision to give up on the bet helped me relax enough that I was able to fall asleep, and dream sweet peaceful dreams of Patrick all night long.

*****

The next morning, I went downstairs to get some breakfast and Kendra was already seated at the dining room table eating a bowl of cereal. I wasn't in the mood to go into detail about Patrick's story, but I knew that I needed to tell her that the bet was off so that I could clear my conscience.

"How was your date with Patrick last night? Has he kissed you yet?" Kendra inquired.

"It was good; we had a lot of fun. The good news is that he still likes me even after he saw my terrible Frisbee throwing skills. I was worried I'd scare him off with my poor aim." I chuckled and poured myself a bowl of cereal. "And, no... unfortunately, he hasn't kissed me yet."

"He didn't run away because of your Frisbee skills? Amazing. He passed the test then." Kendra said jokingly, "If he still likes you after seeing how bad your aim is, it means there's definitely a possibility with that relationship."

"Yes, there is a possibility, and for that reason, I'm feeling completely guilty about the fact that I started dating him based on the bet. In fact, it woke me up in the middle of the night last night worrying about whether or not it was fair for me to go out with him again. I'm nervous to admit I am truly interested in him, but I honestly can't stop thinking about him. I don't want the guilt of the bet hanging over my head."

"So what are you saying? If I'm hearing you correctly, it sounds like you really like this guy? I was expecting you to complete the fifth date, and then turn around and run. You've already set a world record in your dating life for sticking with him for two weeks. Maybe I should call the Guinness Book of World Records and tell them about it," Kendra winked at me.

"Yes, as crazy as it sounds, I will admit that I like this guy. I like him to the point where I want to be able to move forward with a clean conscience, so I'm throwing in the towel. You won the bet. I have a date scheduled with him on Friday, which would technically be my fifth date, but I'm going to feel guilty the whole night if I'm there to win a bet. So I'm quitting the bet, and going on a date because I want to go out with Patrick."

"Whoa, this is a big deal," Kendra said seriously. "If that's what you want to do, I will support you in it. But, I’m going to throw in the towel too, there's no fun in winning the bet because the other person forfeited. So, how about we go shopping for phones together, and buy a phone for the other person? We'll call it a draw."

"Thank you, Kendra, I knew you would understand. I'm still happy to buy your phone, because I know that I'm still accountable for our agreement. You and I both know that it wasn't about the new phone, it was really about the fun competitive aspect of seeing if I could do it or not."

"It's true. As much as I would love a new phone, I love seeing your competitive side come out even more!"

"One more thing, I need you to be sworn to secrecy that you will never ever tell Patrick about this bet. I don't know what will happen with us, and it's possible that we'll go out a few more times and then decide that it's not working. But no matter what happens, I would feel terrible if he knew that the only reason I went out with him in the beginning was to win a bet."

"You have my word." Kendra stuck out her pinky finger, I did the same, and we linked them together in a pinky swear. Even though it was kind of an elementary school thing to do, as best friends we knew that it meant we were in it together, and we would never reveal each other's secrets.

*****

Patrick sent me a text and told me to dress up for our date on Friday night. Since we were going to the Symphony, he said we might as well get dressed up and make an evening of it. I loved the idea, especially because there weren't very many opportunities as a college student to wear a beautiful dress.

There was a form-fitting, floor length black gown in my closet; I bought it a few years ago for a banquet. What a perfect opportunity to pull out that dress again!

It had capped sleeves, a beautiful bodice with intricate designs and lace, and a flowing satin skirt. When I wore it, I felt as though I was walking on a cloud. I paired the dress with a simple pearl necklace and a pair of high heeled black peep-toes.

I had a hard time deciding if I should put my hair into a sweeping up-do, or if I should curl it to allow the long curls to flow down my back. I decided to do a little bit of both, and I pulled the front sections halfway up and gathered them in small curls, with the length of my hair flowing in soft curls and waves.

When Patrick knocked on the door, I opened it and he gasped in pleasure at the sight of me. "You look stunning. I'm the luckiest guy alive to have a girl like you on my arm tonight."

"Why thank you! I like your suit, you look quite dapper. We make a pretty good-looking couple together, if I should say so myself."

"Yes, yes we do," Patrick agreed. "Do you want to know the best part about my date tonight? She's not only beautiful, but she has a fantastic personality and she's smart. Her beauty is only the cherry on top of everything else that I like about her."

Patrick always seemed to know the right thing to say to make me swoon, and my heart completely melted when I heard him talking about me that way. "You sure know the right thing to say to the ladies, don't you?" I said teasingly.

"Nope," he said. "I only know the right things to say to you, and it’s simple: all I have to do is tell the truth."

I smiled at him and told him thank you, then took his arm as we walked out to his car. There was a slight twinge of my conscious when he mentioned telling the truth. However, I had ended the bet with Kendra and what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

To get to the concert in
Salt
Lake
, we had about an hour and a half drive in the car. The entire time was filled with good, solid conversation. We talked about everything from fun hobbies, to funny quirks that our parents did, and shared stories about pets that we had when we were growing up. We both loved dogs and had left our best friends with our parents when we went away to college. It seemed I wasn’t the only one who cried for a week over being away from my dog; I missed that cute pup more than my parents. He did inform me that he refrained from shedding his tears until he was in the shower so his roommates wouldn’t see. I thought that was kind of cute.

Eventually the conversation rolled around to the topic of relationships again, and I figured I’d better tell him about the engagement that I had called off. I told him about the relationship and how I didn't see how controlling Keaton had been.

"I was completely blinded by my love, and the hope that I had for our relationship. On the surface, he was a great guy, but I didn't see how controlling he was in so many aspects of our relationship.

"At one point, I had changed almost every aspect of my life to accommodate his needs: I changed my hairstyle and the way that I dressed to please him. I adjusted my class schedule so that I was available to drive him to campus. I even got a new job because I wasn't earning enough money to pay for everything that we wanted to do together. I even stopped spending time with some of my closest friends, because he didn't like it when I spent time with other people.

"Looking back on it, I can see the red flags. But, at the time I was completely oblivious to the fact that it was an unhealthy relationship. Over the course of our dating, I had become completely lost. I lost my own identity, and didn't know who I was without him telling me what to do.

"I consider myself to be a easy-going girlfriend, and I didn't really complain when he was more interested in his video games than in me. But, after awhile I started to wonder if I was making the right decision.

"I finally decided to break off the engagement when I realized that I was dreading our wedding day instead of getting more excited for it. I woke up one morning realizing that the bride should be hopefully anticipating the day that she would promise herself to the man of her dreams, instead of holding her breath to see what would happen.

"It was Kendra who saved me, and helped me realize the situation. She was by my side the whole time, and really helped me get back on my feet after I broke up with him. I was a mess for a little while, and I spent my days eating junk food and watching TV. Eventually, Kendra helped me to see that life could go on after Keaton, and I was able to start focusing on school again and get back into the dating game."

I told Patrick about how supportive Kendra and my parents had been and that I don’t think I would have had the courage to call the wedding off without their support. I stopped short of telling him my master plan: School first; relationship after graduation. I didn’t want to completely scare him off at this point.

"In fact," I told him. "I haven't had a serious boyfriend since then. It's been a good couple of years. I've been dating, but I haven't let any guy get too close to me. Usually it's just one or two dates, and then I get scared and move onto something else."

"I guess I should consider myself lucky guy that I’m on date number five with you then," he said with a grin.

I was a little surprised that Patrick knew that it was date number five; most guys didn't pay attention to small details like that. For a moment it made me nervous, because I wondered if he was trying to hint at the five dates that were required for the bet. But I quickly stopped that train of thought, and reminded myself that the bet was over, and it didn't matter.

Patrick reached over and grabbed my hand; we held hands until we got to the restaurant where we were going to eat dinner. He had picked a nice steakhouse in downtown
Salt Lake
City
. The restaurant was located on the top floor of a tall building, where we could look out the window at the beautiful views of the downtown city lights. The meal was delicious, and it was very romantic.

After dinner we walked the few blocks down to Abravenel Hall, where the concert was being held. Patrick was very cognizant of my high heels and made sure he pointed out cracks in the sidewalk or other trip hazards as we walked. He pulled my arm into the crook of his arm, and explained it was necessary to ensure I didn’t injure myself.  We found our seats, and I looked around the beautiful concert hall to see many other people dressed up for the evening.

It was a perfect moment: sitting in the concert hall, holding Patrick's hand, dressed in a formal gown, listening to the symphony players warming up and tuning their instruments. I was completely content with the moment, and happy that I wasn't feeling guilty about the bet.

The concert started and I was swept away in the beauty of the music. The music was exquisite, and the orchestra was very talented. It was beautiful, and I could tell that Patrick was enjoying the music as well. I was grateful that we shared a similar taste in music: the ability to enjoy fine classical music and at other times listen to modern popular music as well.

The concert ended around 10:30 pm, and we got back in the car for the drive back to
Logan
.

*****

The drive back to
Logan
was nice, since it was late at night there wasn't much traffic, so we made good time. The conversation was great; the more Patrick and I spent time together, the more the conversation easily flowed and things just felt right.

After 90 minutes in the car, Patrick pulled up in front of my apartment and put the car into park. I noticed that there were still several lights on in my apartment, including the bedroom I shared with Kendra.