Authors: Beverly Lewis
esse took his time hitching up his driving horse to the family carriage. With the sun so warm that afternoon, he desired the covering of the gray buggy while making the trip over to Zeke and Esther’s. He was mighty weary, what with Annie’s strange imaginings, saying she’d discovered that Isaac was alive and all. It wasn’t that he hadn’t been curious; he was. Maybe too much so. And now that she’d left, he felt a twinge of regret. He hadn’t even given the poor girl a chance to explain. Maybe if it had been anyone other than his willful daughter suggesting such a thing … Still, he was glad he hadn’t succumbed, standing his ground… finishing his work instead of falling for Annie’s wishful thinking. Isaac alive? What on earth? True, the bones weren’t Isaac’s, but to jump to such a conclusion?
He was headed over to Esther’s, but not for the purpose of setting his daughter straight. He had other things on his mind namely Esther’s defiance. He’d thought surely by now she would have given up her close association with the Rancks and their church. He also felt responsible to protect Zeke’s children and his own daughter from the onslaught
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of conversion tactics used by certain zealous folk. My Own cousins, for pete’s sake!
Something else consumed him Ichabod’s coming. Jesse had written back, but if the man came anyway, Jesse would have to do everything within his power to keep that visit in check. Zeke’s father had often caused problems even more than the thorny issues Zeke posed to the brethren. Who knew where it would end if Daniel actually showed up. Especially if the man had gone fancy, as Jesse feared.
If I’d just put off writing to him in the first place, Daniel Hochstetler would not be making plans to return here.
Jesse feared Esther was much too trusting and could be a prime target for half-truths. Annie, too, though for different reasons.
A shudder swept through him. Had Daniel already arrived? Was that why Annie had seemed so swept away with her strange notion of Isaac’s return? Had Ichabod arrived in secret to stir up the brethren? Has he already hoodwinked my own daughter?
Aware of a newfound urgency, Jesse encouraged his best driving horse onward, before it was too late.
Esther offered Ben another cup of coffee. “Sure, thanks,” he said, hoping to hear more about Zeke’s growing-up years, or whatever Esther might be willing to share. After her short conversation with Annie in private, Esther looked visibly shaken and now seemed to be scrutinizing him. He felt terrible for not considering the emotional impact upon this poor woman. Is it worth it? Am I causing more trouble?
The three of them sat alone in the kitchen now that the
181 younger children were off to bed for naps and Laura was outside playing with the dog.
“Zeke often talked with disdain about his father,” Esther said softly, glancing at Annie. “I do know my husband was fond of his mother, who passed away a short time ago.”
Annie spoke up quickly. “I knew ‘bout this, Ben, but didn’t want to put too much on you at once.”
He felt sick at the news. Now he would never know his mother, nor would she know he had safely grown to adulthood. Taking a deep breath, he asked what had caused Mary’s death, who’d received word, and where in Canada his birth parents had been living. More questions taxed his mind, but he decided to give Esther a break. Give her time to think. He was about to suggest as much when Jesse Zook drove into the lane with his horse and buggy.
Annie noticed right away, too, and rose immediately to go to the back door.
“It’s all right, Annie,” Esther said, going to her.
Ben could hear the two women talking quietly but made no attempt to listen. He mulled the information he’d gathered in only two short days. He knew it was finally time to discuss all he’d learned with Irvin and Julia. Tonight at supper, he decided. He had an urgent desire to call home, too. Perhaps his parents had recalled more information that would corroborate his discoveries.
Annie’s father was being shown into the house. Ben stood to shake his hand. “Hello, Preacher,” he said, instantly aware of the tension between them.
Jesse scowled and looked about the room as if searching for someone. “I’d heard you left town.”
182 Beverly Lewis “Idid.”
“But you’re back.”
“Yes, sir.”
Esther asked Jesse to sit at the head of the table, and he did. She offered him coffee and some pie, as she had Ben.
They all sat down together, except for Esther, who stood as she had once before when Ben had come here for a meal
with Zeke. He noticed the preacher send a dark look toward Annie, clearly aggravated to find the two of them in the same room together.
So now not only was Esther pale-faced, a reaction to their previous discussion, but so was Annie. Ben tried to catch her eye to alert her to drop the idea of pushing things with her father, but she didn’t look his way and forged ahead. “I know you won’t believe this, Daed,” she said, “but in all truth, Ben here is Isaac, back from the grave.”
Jesse gripped his chair.
Ben expelled a long breath.
A long moment passed as Jesse’s eyes swept from Annie to him and back. The preacher’s brow furrowed with obvious consternation. “Have you lost your mind, daughter?”
Annie shook her head. “Ach, Daed “
“Now, you listen to me. Claimin’ this Englischer is longlost Isaac just so you can keep carryin’ on with him after I forbade you to do so, is that it? Never would I have believed you would sink to something so low.”
Ben shivered. This isn’t going well
“Daed, I would never do such a thing,” Annie said, pain evident on her face. “It’s true, no matter how crazy it sounds.”
“How’s that possible?” Jesse looked squarely at his daughter.
183 “‘Cause it is,” she asserted and then began to share all the things they had both learned since their meeting at the covered bridge.
When Annie finished, her father continued to stare at her without speaking, his focus darting back to Ben before slowly returning again to his daughter. His expression had softened some, but he clearly remained skeptical. Ben expected him to argue further, but instead he said, “Well, now. Haven’t you forgotten something? If he’s Zeke’s brother, as you say, why was it Zeke never recognized him earlier?”
He turned to Ben. “Didn’t you and Zeke spend some time together? At that mud sale, for one?”
Ben nodded.
“Well?”
The question lingered in the air. Jesse had a point, and Annie had no answer.
“Enough said,” Jesse announced. “This is nonsense.”
Esther looked more frail than she had before, and she moved toward the counter to get the coffee pot. When she did, Jesse asked if he might speak with her and Annie alone. “Why, sure.” Esther looked weakly over her shoulder at Ben and said, “That is, if it’s all right with you.”
Ben took the polite hint, but Annie looked nervous, even alarmed. Excusing himself, Ben headed out the back way, deciding now was as good a time as any to disappear from view and phone his mom.
Worried that Ben had been offended by Daed’s outspokenness, Annie poured cream into her father’s coffee,
I
184 listening as he told of having received word from Zeke’s father in Canada.
“He wrote a letter in response to mine,” said her father, explaining why he’d written initially. “So I wouldn’t be surprised if Ichabod shows up, and soon.”
Esther gasped. “He’s coming here?”
Daed nodded. “He’ll be lookin’ for a place to stay, I’m sure. But let’s keep this mum. Don’t need more troubles arising.” He inhaled deeply and gave Annie another fierce look. She looked down, having recognized the utter disappointment on her father’s face.
Jesse continued, “Your father-in-law ought to stay with me, Esther.” He looked at them both. “Given the circumstances.”
“‘Cause of my shunning?” Esther reached for her coffee cup, hand trembling.
“Ain’t any good for two women to share one house, especially when both have such unchecked fancies.” He darted another disapproving glance at Annie. “This Isaac twaddle is bad enough, but you both goin’ to a church on the outside is creating a stir.”
Annie wasn’t too surprised, yet she hadn’t heard much of anything from the womenfolk. Of course, she’d not been attending their work frolics since coming here to stay.
“The brethren expect you to return to Preaching services, Esther you, too, Annie. These children are at risk.”
“What’re you sayin’?” Esther asked, her cheeks much too red.
“I’m speakin’ of your souls … all of yous. Your children, Esther, are to be raised in the Amish church so that grace
185 and peace may rest on this house. This is your husband’s desire, as you surely know.” He turned to Annie, “And you, the preacher’s daughter, are helping this family right out the door. You should be ashamed of yourself.”
He put on his hat. “I expect to see you come to your senses, daughter, and return home so God can finish His work of discipline. As for you, Esther, it’s time to repent and put an end to this saving grace malarkey.”
With that he headed for the door. Only when her father had left did Annie realize she had clenched her hands into
fists so tight her palms were nearly bruised.
Sitting in the car, Ben called his mother on his cell phone. She answered on the second ring.
“Mom? Hi, it’s Ben.”
“Oh, honey, are you all right?” She sounded jittery. “I’ve been so worried.”
“I’m fine, Mom.”
He had debated how much to reveal to her, wanting to spare her feelings, but his own excitement got the best of him. “I think I know who I might have been, before I was found that night. Before you and Dad adopted me.”
Silence filled the phone line.
Then the thin question, a single word. “Who?”
Gently he told her everything, filling her in on Annie’s and his discovery. “You won’t believe this, but I could have a brother and a sister-in-law, and two nieces and two nephews.” He told of his first parents, that his Amish mother was deceased but that his father lived somewhere in Ontario, Canada. “I’m putting it all together, Mom. It’s not as
186 difficult as I thought it might be. Actually, I never expected to find out all this so quickly, or at all.” He paused, sensing her anxiety.
aOh, Ben, be careful. I would hate for you to get your hopes up.”
“I know, but it seems possible at least.”
She was silent for a time; then she said, “Don’t forget us, Ben. We’re your family, too.”
“I know that, Mom. I hope you won’t take all this wrong, but I needed to return here. I didn’t realize why at first. It was as if something was calling me back. I needed to know about my past, my first family.”
“Well, how long will you stay this time?”
“Haven’t decided.” From where he was parked, he could see Annie’s father leaving the house, his head bowed as he strode toward his horse and buggy. “I’ll be in touch, Mom. Tell Dad I called.”
“I’ll do that. He sends his love.”
“Please don’t worry about me, okay?”
“You know me too well. It’s what I do best.”
“Yeah, right.” He chuckled. “Bye!”
“We love you, Ben.… Good-bye.”
Watching Preacher Jesse rein the horse around to make the wide circular turn at the top of the drive, new images emerged in Ben’s mind. Indistinct and hazy ones of going to market and farm sales with a tall man. His father? Sitting on the tall man’s knees … holding the reins with his small hands. He could almost smell the pipe tobacco now as he briefly closed his eyes.
Moments later, he saw Annie as she stood at the back
door, waving, and he felt that familiar longing again, just seeing her. She hugged herself as if chilled, looking suddenly lost.
Getting out of the car, he called, “Take a walk with me,” and she seemed relieved to accept.
Walking silently at first, they took the mule road out to the vast pastureland, where trees grew in random groves.
Annie was obviously discouraged; he couldn’t recall having ever seen her so dejected.
Their eyes met and in spite of what he’d just told his mother, a renewed sense of doubt filled him. “Maybe we’re wrong, Annie. Maybe we both have unbridled imaginations, as your father seems to think.”
Her eyes filled with tears and she nodded. “I just wanted to believe it so badly.”
“I did, too.”
To redirect their talk to less volatile subjects, Ben pointed out various trees along the way. Then something popped into his head. “Say, Annie, Esther told me a little, but do you happen to know anything more about Zeke’s father?”
“Ichabod?”
“What? Don’t you mean Daniel?”
“He was always referred to as Ichabod from around the time of the kidnapping, according to Mamm.”
Ben recognized the name from American literature. In high school, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow the tale of the infamous and ridiculous schoolmaster, Ichabod Crane had been required reading. “Why was Daniel called that?”
“Because he refused the lot for preacher.”
188 Annie clearly felt uncomfortable talking about something that reflected so poorly on Ben’s true father. On hers, too, for that matter.
“Honestly, I don’t know much about it,” she finally said.
Ben didn’t push for more details, and Annie quickly changed the subject. “Essie was plenty shook up when my father left. Still, she shooed me outside to find you.”
Ben knew Esther had been stunned by the possibility of his being Isaac. Preacher Zook’s fiery speech likely hadn’t helped matters. “Maybe she can get some rest with us out of the house.”
She smiled at him as they walked. In the distance, a farm wagon rolled by, pulled by a single horse. Suddenly he remembered an outing he’d gone on with the man he’d called Dat. There was a lingering embarrassment surrounding this memory that caused a strange pressure in his chest.
Annie held tightly to his hand and they walked in silence, enjoying the fresh air and the sounds of spring. Her nearness, the wide-eyed sweetness of her, brought the memory to him more fully.
He remembered riding beside Dat on the buggy bench on a trip to buy their supply of peaches at an Amish farmhouse, seemingly miles away. When they arrived, he recalled being made over by the very pretty young woman who sold the bushels of peaches. She touched his face and smiled sweetly even gave him free peaches, saying if he squeezed a peach pit hard enough and long enough it would eventually sprout. He could still hear Dat’s hearty laughter ringing in his ears over that one.
When they got back to the buggy, Dat said he had for
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gotten to pay for the peaches. He went back into the house but stayed longer than a curious boy could possibly sit. He followed Dat inside and peeked around the corner, witnessing a stolen kiss, until his father looked up and saw him standing there. Heart pounding, he had hurried back to the buggy and crawled into the front seat.…
“Ben? You all right?” Annie was staring at him. “You’re breathin’ awful hard.”
He couldn’t possibly share this confusing vision from the past with her, or anyone.
“Let’s keep going.” He pointed farther away from the house, wanting to embrace fully every moment they had together, because he had no idea how to continue seeing her, recalling the glare of disapproval on Preacher Jesse’s face earlier.
They walked for more than an hour. “Should we be heading back?” he asked after a glance at his watch.
Annie smiled warmly. “I can stay out as long as need be.”
Need be? He wanted to wrap her in his arms, carry her away to another world. But where … how? Could they possibly make this relationship work? He’d come back in part to solve the troubles he’d caused, and here he was, the source of even more troubles than he could have imagined.
Maybe he should have remained at home. What did it matter if he were Isaac? But he realized that he couldn’t
have stayed away. He had this intense connection to Annie, as if he had been born to know her.
He smiled wistfully. Were they soul mates, destined to be together? And yet they’d failed before. What was different
now:
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He considered this. For one thing, he sensed a freedom in Annie that had been missing before, and the realization of this suddenly spurred him on, giving him more fuel for hope.
Another hour later, they were met by Esther’s daughter Laura running toward them, her bare feet pounding the dirt path that connected the field to the barnyard. “Ach, Annie, I’m ever so glad you’re back.”
“What’s wrong?” Annie leaned over to wipe the streaks of tears from the little girl’s face.
“It’s Mamma … she’s awful sick. She’s holdin’ her belly and crying.”
Annie picked up her skirt and ran toward the house. Ben followed. “Can you take her to a doctor right quick, Ben, if need be?” she called over her shoulder.
“Of course.”
In a few minutes, Annie brought Esther out of the house and together they helped her into his car.
Zeke’s wife is ill… . The realization of who he might be to frail Essie Hochstetler struck Ben anew. my sister-in-law?
Annie stayed with the children while he drove Esther to the hospital. They rode in silence as she closed her eyes and clutched her abdomen. On occasion she whispered, “Please help, dear Lord.”
When they arrived, Ben offered to help Esther inside. Graciously, she accepted his arm as he gingerly assisted her in through the glass doors.
At the desk, a nurse smiled with concern as Esther
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as H as
quickly signed in. An orderly emerged, and Ben helped Esther into a wheelchair.
“You are so kind, Ben,” Esther whispered before the orderly wheeled her away to another ward of the hospital. Ben followed.
Sitting down in another waiting room, he happened to glance up at the board. Obstetrics?
Then Ben remembered Esther favoring her stomach earlier, while Annie’s father was drinking his coffee. Esther must be expecting again already. It struck him that Essie Ann, whom he’d held as a newborn his own flesh-and-blood niece was only four months old. Doesn’t Zeke have any knowledge of family planning?
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‘et
esse noticed Yonie walking out on Queen Road with a girl who was not at all Amish. Of course, this being a warm, sunny day, a long walk with a pretty girl was in order at Yonie’s age if the girl weren’t English. Jesse was wound up from his visit with Esther and Annie and seeing Ben Martin there, too. He was tempted to pull the horse over and confront his son. Ach, where will it all end?
Yonie spotted him and waved, but Jesse also noticed the redness creeping up from his neck into his face. “Hullo there, Pop!” Yonie called, sounding a bit too flippant for Jesse’s liking. But he knew better than to do anything more than wave back and smile. It wouldn’t do to rile up that one not the way the brethren were all in a tizzy about losing several young men to the world here lately. No, he’d keep his peace, bite his lip, and trust for the best.
But Annie, what another story she was. He wished he knew what to do. Sighing, he thought of Ben Martin and wondered why on earth he’d come back, trying to pass himself off as Isaac.
The whole thing was wild horse feathers, and Annie