Authors: Beverly Lewis
Then, right when things between them had begun to
20 pick up speed and he was beginning to think she might be falling for him, she’d cut him loose. Even now his curiosity over what might have happened if her father had not caught them together was driving him a little crazy.
If we hadn’t taken the long way back that evening … if we hadn’t run into Preacher Zook, I might still be seeing her. But her father had laid down the law and she had chosen to obey him, denying her own heart.
Ben wondered how he ever could have convinced Annie to leave her world for his. In short, that was the kicker. Nothing he imagined, either in the hush of midnight or in the reality of early waking hours, would ever change the cruel fact that they simply were not meant to be together. After all, it had been a no-no from the very beginning for Annie to acknowledge his attention, let alone his affection. Why couldn’t he just accept that Paradise was not his home and never would be?
Later, after his two youngest sisters, Sherri and Diana, had rushed off to school in Dad’s old beater, Ben washed breakfast dishes and contemplated his plan of action. It was time to get on with real life and stop fantasizing about what might have been. He had always wanted to extend himself to people in need, and he liked the idea of doing something useful with his hands. So building houses in a Third World country seemed like a good way to go. If nothing else, it would distract him and help get the preacher’s daughter out of his system.
He plodded across his mom’s kitchen to the coffee maker, poured another cup, then settled at the table while
21 his mother dried the dishes. “I’ve been thinking about making a big change in my life,” he said.
“Getting married?” She turned from the sink to wink at him.
“No, the Peace Corps.”
Her grin faded but he rushed on. “I started researching this possibility more than a year ago. I think now might be a good time to apply.” Since I can’t have Annie.
Mom froze in place at the sink, dish towel in hand. “Oh, Ben,” she said, shaking her head. “Please … you can’t mean it.”
“I’m entirely serious. I meet all the requirements. They prefer people who speak more than one language, but…”
“Well, you did,I’ Mom murmured, almost to herself. “Not that it would help you any.”
“What?” he asked, not understanding. “Benjamin …” she said, as if she had only enough breath to form a single word.
She walked to the table and stood behind a chair across from him, no doubt formulating her next attempt to talk him out of it. “This doesn’t make sense. First you rush off to Pennsylvania for no apparent reason, and now you’re home for only a few days and you want to volunteer overseas?” She stared down at her hands, fingers tense as she gripped the back of the chair. “Ben, please forget this idea.” “Mom …”
“I can’t think of you leaving again. I can’t “
“Mom, relax. It won’t be forever.” But even as he spoke,
he was aware of the quiver of her lip, the pallor of her face.
Why such a dramatic reaction?
22 With a loud sigh, she pulled out the chair and sat down. “I know your father will be glad when he hears what I’m going to tell you. You see, it’s been a long time coming. Perhaps even too long.”
He hoped whatever she was about to say was not as alarming as her somber face seemed to forecast.
“Oh, honey, I don’t know how to start… . This is so difficult.” She blinked fast, as if she might cry.
“Mom? What is it?”
She inhaled deeply. “Ben, hear me out. Please … try to understand.”
He nodded and reached over to cover her hand with his
own. “Did someone die?”
“No … son. What I have to tell you has nothing to do with death. On the contrary, it’s about life. Your life.”
Determined to find Yonie, Annie first peeked in the barn but saw only Luke, another younger brother, shoveling manure, his least favorite barn chore of all!
Going to the buggy shed, she saw Daed checking the steel bands on the buggy wheels. Quickly, so as not to be seen, Annie crept away. She hurried past the woodshed, then out behind the barn toward the manure pit.
Eventually she spied Yonie plowing with their youngest brother, Omar, behind a team of eight mules, preparing to plant sweet corn in this big field. She would happily wait till they paused for a break, whenever that might be. And if Omar went inside to get some of Mamm’s sweet lemonade, which he sometimes did, then she and Yonie would talk. Omar was pretty understanding that way, aware of her closeness with Yonie.
She perched herself on an old tree stump at the far edge of the empty field, glad for these warmer days of spring. The distant hill sloped in shadowy patterns beneath midmorning’s light, and she gazed in all directions. This was her whole world, as far as her eyes could see, right out to the
23 horizon with the sky hanging like a sheer veil over it all.
She thought of Ben, wondering what captured his attention when he sat outdoors in Kentucky. What intrigued him about nature? She recalled he had been quite taken with the variety of trees here in Paradise and smiled at the memory. She realized they hadn’t spoken much about his home surroundings, although he had mentioned his family his parents and four sisters quite often. Annie had written down the girls’ names, hiding the paper in her box of letters from Louisa. Evie, Patrice, Sherd, and Diana. Ben had enjoyed speaking of his sisters, but he’d asked many more questions about her life.
Her eye caught sunlight bouncing off an airplane high in the sky, brilliant like a beacon. Then, just as quickly, the light disappeared, and she was struck by its fleetingness. “Life passes too quickly,” she whispered, thinking now of her friend in faraway Colorado. Annie wished she had access to one of those fancy smart phone gadgets Lou had used so often to keep in touch with her outside world. Annie was not at all bashful about voicing how much she missed Louisa. She’d said so to Essie, and to the Hochstetler children, too. Just now, though, she told it to the bumblebee lazily buzzing nearby. “What I wouldn’t give to see Lou again.” Truly she had enjoyed the companionship of her fine and fancy friend, the sound of Louisa’s voice … and their near-nightly talks about Ben and Sam.
Will she be surprised that Ben and I are no longer together? That I’m staying with Essie? She could only imagine the shock on Lou’s face when she read the letter Annie had recently sent. Lou will ask how I like “hanging with Essie,”
24 Annie laughed at the thought of one of Lou’s favorite expressions.
She looked up and saw Yonie walking toward her. Omar had stayed behind with the team, but he waved to her nonetheless.
“Hullo, Schweschder!” Yonie called, all smiles.
She rose quickly and strode through a furrowed row to meet him.
Yonie stopped and removed his straw hat, then wiped his forehead with the back of his arm. “What brings you home?”
She saw the mischievous twinkle in his grayish-blue eyes. “You mean I can’t drop by for a visit?”
“Not according to Daed, no.”
Her breath caught in her throat. “You can’t mean it.”
“He’s mighty put out with you, Annie. I ‘spect he’d like you to stay far away … till you come to your senses.”
“Just ‘cause Essie’s under the shun and I’m stayin’ with her?”
His blond hair shone beneath the sun. “Why’s that any surprise? You should know how he’d take it you rushin’ off like you did. Choosing Esther, of all people.”
She squared her shoulders. “Well, you can’t say a word ‘bout it.”
He slapped his hat back onto his head. “I can if I want to.”
She eyed him curiously. “You’ve got yourself a mouth on ya, brother. Next thing, you’ll be getting hitched to Dory.”
Yonie stepped back. “Just never you mind.”
“Ah, so you might be, is that it?”
“What I do ain’t for you to say.”
She wrinkled her face. “How is it Daed keeps lookin’ the other way? Are you ever goin’ to quit your running round and join church?”
He chuckled. look at who’s talkin’.” She thought defiantly of her boxes of art supplies, the many sketchbooks waiting to be filled. And fill them she would, with pages and pages of drawings. She would begin the minute the day dawned marking the end of her six’ month promise. She must answer her heart’s cry, and she could scarcely wait.
Yonie looked at her, obviously amused. “So, why’d you come over?”
She smiled. “Guess you must think I’m here to pick on you.”
“Well, aren’t you?”
She shook her head.
“You miss fussin’ with me, is that it?”
“I guess I do.”
He laughed heartily. “Dummkopp, why’d you go and leave home only to come back so quick-like?”
“I’m here for a visit, that’s all,” she said with a sigh. “Tween you and me, I say you’re better off.” He squatted on the ground next to her, his face serious. “Even with Zeke makin’ all kinds of trouble … even with Esther under the Bann, ‘tis best you’re over there.” “And why is that?”
He kept silent, as though deliberating whether to say what was on his mind. Then, when she figured he wasn’t going to continue, he cocked his head back before saying,
“Daed made you break it off with your English beau, ain’t that right?”
If she had ever suspected he might blurt this out, she would’ve prepared herself, would’ve managed to keep inside the gasp that sucked air straight into her mouth. “Ach, it’s true, but you shouldn’t be surprised, jah?”
“I feel awful sorry for ya, is all.” He looked away quickly.
“Truth be told, I feel sorry for myself. Ben and I never had a chance … not like you and Dory.”
He nodded sadly. “Well, it ain’t so easy courtin’ a fancy girl, neither.”
“Jah, I s’pose.”
“That’s all I’d better say.”
Her heart went out to her brother, and she felt compelled to change the subject right quick. Mamm’s admonition to talk with Daed continued to echo in her head, and although she didn’t know what to say, Annie wandered toward the barn.
Jesse Zook pulled the letter from his pocket and slid it into his mailbox, wishing Bishop Andy might’ve asked Old Preacher Moses to write and send such grim tidings to Ichabod. Although Jesse did agree the time had come to get word to the man.
Rubbing his thumb on a coin in his trousers pocket, he turned and strode toward the house. The place had stood there for more than a hundred years, sheltering one family of Zooks after another. Not a single one of them with a rebellious daughter at least not that he’d ever heard of. And now with Annie staying over at Esther’s place, well, he
27
could hardly let his mind think too long on that, not as defiant as Zeke’s wife continued to be.
Stopping momentarily, he looked back at the mailbox and noticed he’d forgotten to raise the red metal flag. He quickly walked back to do so, swinging his arms to hasten his pace.
That done, Jesse changed his mind about heading to the house and decided to cross the road to the barn instead. He craned his neck upward. The sky’s mighty big today, he thought, taking in the heavens above.
He found his thoughts returning to the brief letter he had been asked to pen, hoping his former friend, Daniel Hochstetler, might in some small way be comforted in knowing the remains of his lost son, Isaac, had been found. A father’s in need of such information.
Heading into the barn, he wondered how Daniel would react to the news. Had he and his now-deceased wife, Mary, made new connections in another Plain community, clear up there in Canada? “Most likely not,” he whispered, shaking his head. Truth was, the man was a troublemaker, just as his son Zeke was.
Prior to Daniel’s refusal of the divine lot, his ill temper and touchy ways had often stood in the way of the People’s unity, which was required in order to perform their sacred rites, the spring and fall communion and foot washing. It had been surprising to Jesse to learn, years later, that three undoubtedly disgruntled members had whispered Daniel’s name to the bishop on that long ago ordination day to make it possible for the contentious man to be among the nominees. Even their bishop had never understood it.
28
To think Zeke wants me to represent him in court. He thought suddenly of yesterday’s visit to the jail, curling his toes in his work boots. If it should come to that.
Jesse made his way up the ladder to the haymow and began rummaging around in the corner till he located the old rope swing in its long-standing hiding place. It was the one young Isaac and many other children had enjoyed swinging on for many happy hours … even his own daughter had done so. His sons, too. The grove of black locust trees had been something of a play area back then, and he had been the one to hang the swing there, high on the sturdiest branch of the largest tree. Daniel had helped him.
Pulling the swing now from the secure spot, he hoped the confirmed news of Isaac’s passing would not bring further animosity toward the man referred to as Ichabod, meaning the spirit of God hath departed. The brethren, including himself, had agreed upon the name, and the pronouncement had stuck, even in Daniel’s absence.
Jesse breathed in the sweet hay fragrance of the loft and savored the stillness. Silence was his friend, out here alone with the animals and the dwindling hay bales. The quietude had the power to heal him, he knew. He couldn’t help but think of Ichabod again, wondering if the man had managed to find the least amount of solace over the years. Did he ever allow the silence of morning to wash over him?
Jesse sat down on an old three-legged stool, one his father had hewn out of leftover wood. He pondered the seeming curse the Lord God had slapped on Ichabod for his refusal of the divine lot. Did such a blight follow a man to his death? Was there no way out?