The Bridesmaid's Baby (10 page)

‘Any baby who scores you as his mum will be born lucky.’ His voice was a deep, warm rumble running over her skin like a fiery caress.

She could see Will’s mouth in the lamplight. So incredibly near. She remembered that one time he’d kissed her and how she’d marvelled that his lips were surprisingly soft and sensuous compared with the rough and grainy texture of his jaw.

He trailed his fingers up the line of her throat to her chin and, for a hushed moment, his thumb rode the rounded nub, then continued along the delicate edge of her jaw.

She held her breath as he lowered his head, letting his lips follow where his fingers had led.

Despite her tension, a soft sigh floated from her and she closed her eyes as his breath feathered over her skin and she felt the warm, intimate pressure of his mouth on the hollow at the base of her throat.

He was unbelievably good at this. Her tension began to melt beneath the sweet, intoxicating journey of his lips over her throat.

He whispered her name.

‘Lucy.’

His lips caressed her jaw with whisper-soft kisses. He kissed her cheek, giving the corner of her mouth the tiniest lick, and she began to tremble.

Please, Will, please…

At last his lips settled over hers and Lucy forgot to be frightened.

Her lips parted beneath him and he immediately took the kiss deeper, tasting her fully, and she decided it was too late to worry about what Will thought of her. About having babies or not having them. She just wanted to enjoy this moment.

This, now.

Will framed her face with his hands and he kissed her eagerly, ardently, hungrily and Lucy returned his kisses, shyly at first but with growing enthusiasm, eager to relearn the wonderful texture and taste of him.

His voice was ragged and breathless as he fingered the straps of her dress. ‘How do I get you out of this?’

‘Oh, gosh, I forgot. Sorry.’ The spell was broken as Lucy remembered that her dress had a side zipper. She had to lift one arm as she reached for it.

‘I’ve got it,’ Will said, his fingers beating hers to the task.

She heard the zip sliding south, felt his hands tweak her shoulder straps and suddenly her dress was drifting soundlessly to her feet. She wasn’t wearing a bra and she felt vulnerable and shy, but Will drew her close, enfolding her into a comforting embrace.

With his arms around her, with his forehead pressed to hers, he whispered, ‘Your turn, Goose.’

‘My turn?’

‘Take off my shirt.’

‘Oh, yes. Right.’

Her eyes were riveted on his chest as she undid the buttons to reveal smooth masculine muscles that she longed to touch. She felt breathless and dizzy as she slid the fabric from his shoulders.

Her breath caught at the sight of him. She’d known he was beautiful, but she’d forgotten he was
this
beautiful.

Will kissed her again, letting his lips roam over hers in slow, lazy caresses that made her dreamy and warm so that again she gave up being scared. Still kissing her, he drew her down to the edge of the bed and then he took her with him until they were lying together, their limbs and bodies touching, meshing, already finding the perfect fit.

Bravely, she allowed her fingers to trail over his chest and felt his heart pounding beneath her touch. She smelled the long remembered midnight scent of his skin and she closed her eyes and gave in to sensation as he kissed her ears, her throat, her shoulder.

Every touch, every brush of his lips on her skin, every touch felt right and perfect and necessary.

She wasn’t sure when she first felt the hot tears on her face, but she smiled, knowing they were tears of happiness.

How could they be anything else? This was her man, her passionate, hunky Will, and she was finally awake in her dream.

T
HEY
sat in a pool of soft golden lamplight.

Will moved to the edge of the bed, shaken by what had happened.

He’d known that making love to Lucy would be a sweet pleasure, but he hadn’t expected to be sent flying to the outer limits of the universe.

He felt an urge to ask her:
Does this change…everything?

But that was lovers’ talk and she expected friendship from him. Nothing more.

His thoughts churned while Lucy lay very still, with her knees bent and her shoulders propped against the pillows. She looked deceptively angelic with her short golden curls and a white sheet pulled demurely up to her chin.

‘I mustn’t move,’ she said.

‘Why can’t you move?’

‘I want to give your swimmers their very best chance of reaching my egg.’

He smiled at the hopeful light in her blue eyes, but his smile felt frayed around the edges.

It was hard to believe that this folly had been his idea. His foolish idea.

Lucy had been joking when she’d first suggested this, but he’d turned it into something real. He’d thought he was so damned clever. But he hadn’t known, had he? Hadn’t dreamed that making love to Lucy would turn his world upside down.

Was this how it had been for Josh?

He forced himself to remember why they’d done this. ‘So I guess it’s now a matter of wait and see?’ he asked.

Lucy nodded. ‘My period’s due in about two weeks.’

So matter of fact.

Two weeks felt like a lifetime. ‘I’ll wait for another phone call then,’ he said. ‘And I’ll hope for good news.’

Her eyes shimmered damply. Shyly, she said, ‘Thank you, Will.’

His abrupt laugh was closer to a cough.

A tear sparkled and fell onto Lucy’s flushed cheek, making him think of a raindrop on a rose. Reaching out, he gently blotted the shining moisture with the pad of his thumb. ‘You OK, Goose?’

‘Sure.’

She smiled to prove it and he launched to his feet and dragged on jeans. ‘Can I make you a cup of tea or something?’

Lucy looked startled.

‘I just thought…’ He scratched at his bare chest. ‘If you’re planning to lie there for a bit, I thought you might like a cuppa.’

‘Oh…um…well, yes, that would be lovely. Thank you.’

He went through to her kitchen, filled the kettle, set it on the stove and, as he rattled about searching for teabags and mugs, he saw a familiar piece of framed glass hanging in the window.

It was dark outside so he couldn’t see the jewel-bright
colours of the stained glass, but he knew the dominant colour was deep blue.

Memories unravelled. He’d given this to Lucy as a graduation gift, to remind her of the times they’d spent as schoolkids fossicking for sapphires.

She’d always been fascinated by the change in the chips of dark sapphire when they were held up to the light and transformed from dull black into sparkling, brilliant blue.

The same thing happened when sun lit the stained glass.

But he hadn’t expected her to keep this gift for so long, or to display it so prominently, as if it was important.

Now, Will looked around, trying to guess which piece among Lucy’s knick-knacks had been a present to her from his brother.

Lucy managed not to cry until after Will had left. She heard the front door open and close, heard his footsteps on the front path, the rusty squeak of the front gate, the even rustier squeak of the truck’s door and then, at last, the throaty grumble of the motor.

As the truck rattled away from her house, she couldn’t hold back any longer.

The mug of tea Will had made for her sat untouched on the bedside table, and the tears streamed down her face.

She should have known.

She should have known this was a terrible mistake. Should have known Will Carruthers would break her heart.

Her sobs grew louder and she pulled a pillow against her mouth to muffle them, but nothing could diminish the storm inside her.

She loved Will. Loved him, loved him, loved him, loved him.

She’d always loved Will, and she’d wrecked her whole life by getting involved with his brother in a bid to make him jealous. She felt so guilty about that. And even now her memories of her mistakes cast a shadow over what had happened tonight.

Almost two weeks later, Lucy bought a packet of liquorice allsorts.

It was an impulse purchase in the middle of her weekly shopping. She saw the sweets, felt the urge to buy them and tossed them into her supermarket trolley. It wasn’t until she was unpacking her groceries at home that she realised what she’d done and what it meant.

She only ever had the urge to eat sweets on the day before her period was due.

Which meant…

No.

No, no, no.

This didn’t mean she wasn’t pregnant, surely?

She’d been tense all week, alert to the tiniest signs in her body. But she hadn’t noticed any of the well-known symptoms. No unusual tiredness. No breast tenderness. And now—she was having pre-menstrual cravings!

She couldn’t bear it if her period came. She so wanted to be pregnant.

Just this week she’d delivered five Dachshund puppies and two purebred Persian kittens and each time she’d handled a gorgeous newborn she’d imagined her own little baby already forming inside her.

Heavens, she’d imagined her entire pregnancy in vivid detail. She’d even pictured the baby’s birth and Will’s excitement. She’d pictured bringing the little one home,
watching it grow until it was old enough to play with Gina and Tom’s twins. She’d almost gone into Willowbank’s one and only baby store and bought a tiny set of clothes.

She
had
to be pregnant.

But now, on a rainy Friday night, she sat curled in a lounge chair with the bag of liquorice in her lap, aware of a telltale ache in her lower abdomen.

She was trying to stay positive. And failing miserably.

She’d had so much hope pinned on this one chance. She couldn’t risk another night in bed with Will, couldn’t go through another round of heartache. She really, really needed that one night to have been successful.

Time dragged for Will.

November, however, was a hectic month on a New South Wales sheep farm so, even though he couldn’t stop thinking about Lucy, he found plenty of ways to keep busy.

Now that the shearing was over, all the sheep had to be dipped and drenched, prior to the long, hot summer. It was time to wean lambs and to purchase rams for next year’s joining. To top it off, it was also haymaking time.

Will found himself slipping back into the world of his childhood with surprising ease.

In his wide-ranging travels, he’d seen breathtaking natural beauty and sights that were truly stranger than fiction, but it was only here at home that he felt a soul-deep connection to the land.

He supposed it flowed in his blood as certainly as his DNA. He’d always been secretly proud of the fact that his great great-grandfather, another William Carruthers, had bought this land in the nineteenth century.

William had camped here at first and then lived in the
shearers’ quarters, before finally acquiring sufficient funds to build a substantial homestead for his bride.

Will found himself thinking more and more often about Josh, too. His brother had been the family member everyone had expected to work this land as their father’s right hand man. The man who had won Lucy’s heart.

He remembered the fateful morning Josh had woken him early, proclaiming that this was the day he was going to fly the plane he’d worked on for so long.

It had been too soon. Will had known that the final checks hadn’t been made by the inspector from the aero club, but Josh had been insistent.

‘I’m not waiting around for that old codger. I’ve put in all the work on this girl. I know she’s fine. This is the day, Will. It’s a perfect morning for a first flight. I can
feel
it.’

Will had gone with great reluctance, mainly to make sure Josh didn’t do anything really stupid. As they drove through the creamy dawn towards the Willowbank airfield, he’d conscientiously reread all the flying manuals, anxious to understand all the necessary safety checks.

‘I still don’t think you should be doing this,’ he’d said again when they’d arrived at the hangar.

‘Give it a miss, little brother,’ Josh had responded angrily. ‘Just accept that we’re different. I’m my own man. I go after what I want and I make sure that I get it.’

‘Is that how you scored Lucy McKenty?’ Will hadn’t been able to hold back the question that had plagued him ever since he’d arrived home.

Josh laughed. ‘Of course. What did you expect? In case you haven’t noticed, Lucy’s the best looking girl in the district. I wasn’t going to leave her sitting on the shelf.’

‘She’s not another of your damn trophies.’

‘For God’s sake, Will, you’re not going to be precious, are you?’

An unreasonable anger had swirled through Will. His hands had fisted, wanting to smash the annoying smirk on his brother’s handsome face. ‘You’d better make bloody sure you look after her.’

‘Don’t worry.’ Josh laughed. ‘I’ve already done that.’ He was still laughing as he climbed into the pilot’s seat. ‘Now, you sit over there and stay quiet, little brother, while I take this little beauty for her test flight.’

Once more, Will had tried to stop him. ‘You shouldn’t be doing this. You only have to wait for one more inspection.’

Josh had ignored him and turned on the engine.

‘I’m not going to sit around here like your fan club,’ Will shouted above the engine’s roar. ‘If you’re going to break your bloody neck, you can do it by yourself.’

From the cockpit, Josh had yelled his last order. ‘Don’t you dare take the car.’

‘Don’t worry. I’ll bloody walk back.’

They had been his parting words.

The plane had barely made it into the air before it had shuddered and begun to fall. Will had seen everything from the road.

So many times in the years that followed, he’d regretted his actions that morning.

He’d washed his hands of his brother, turned his back on him, but he should have stood up to Josh, should have found a way to stop him.

But then again, no one, not even their father had been able to stop Josh when he’d set his mind on a goal.

Lucy wouldn’t have stood a chance either.

The next morning, Lucy knew the worst.

She sent Will a text message.

Thanks for your help, but sorry, no luck. We’re not going to be parents. L x

She felt guilty about texting him rather than speaking to him, but she was afraid she’d start blubbing if she’d tried explain over the phone.

If Will’s parents were nearby when he took the call, it would be really awkward for him to have to deal with a crying female who wasn’t actually his girlfriend.

But it was a Saturday morning and she wasn’t working, so she wasn’t totally surprised when Will turned up on her doorstep within twenty minutes.

She hadn’t seen him in two weeks and when she opened her door and saw him standing there with his heart-throb smile and blue jeans sexiness she felt a sweet, shivery ache from her breastbone to her toes.

‘I guess you got my text,’ she said.

Will nodded. ‘I’m really sorry about your news, Lucy. It’s rotten luck.’

She quickly bit her lower lip to stop it from trembling and, somehow, she refrained from flinging her arms around Will and sobbing all over him, even though it was exactly what she needed to do.

Instead she took two hasty steps back, tried for an offhand shrug. ‘I guess it wasn’t meant to happen.’

Will shook his head. ‘I can’t believe that.’

Her attempt to smile felt exceptionally shaky.

As they went through to the kitchen, she couldn’t help remembering the last time they had been here together on
that
night.

‘I should warn you, Will, I’m rather fragile this morning.’
Her hands fluttered in a gesture of helplessness. ‘Hormones and disappointment can be a messy combination.’

‘Maybe we were expecting too much, hoping it would all happen the first time.’

‘I don’t know. Maybe I should have more tests. I’m so scared that my eggs aren’t up to scratch.’

Before she knew quite what was happening, Will closed the gap between them. His arms were around her and she was clinging to him, snuffling against his clean cotton T-shirt and inhaling the scents of the outdoors that clung to his skin. Trying very, very hard not to cry.

His fingers gently played with her hair. ‘I’m sure your eggs are perfect. I bet they’re the healthiest, cutest little goose eggs ever.’

She muffled a sob against his chest.

‘We might have to be patient,’ he said.

‘Patient?’ She pulled away. ‘What do you mean?’

His eyes reflected bemusement. ‘In a couple of weeks we can try again, can’t we?’

No. No, they couldn’t. She couldn’t do this again. It had been a mistake.

‘No, Will.’ Lucy swallowed. ‘I’m afraid we can’t try again.’

Unhappily she slipped from the haven of his arms and turned away from the puzzled look in his eyes.

‘But surely you’re not ready to give up after just one try?’

‘Yes, I am. Perhaps nature knows best.’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘Perhaps friends shouldn’t try to be parents.’

‘Lucy, that’s not rational.’

‘I’m sorry if you’re disappointed, but I couldn’t go through this again.’

Not with Will. It would be a huge mistake to sleep with
him again. It was too painful, knowing that he was only being a friend to her, that he didn’t love her.

In the agonising stretch of silence he stood with his arms folded, frowning at a spot on the floor. Eventually, he said, ‘You’re disappointed right now. That’s understandable. But you’re sure to feel differently in another week or so.’

Lucy shook her head. ‘No, Will. I’m sorry. This isn’t a snap decision I made this morning. I’d already made up my mind last week. I decided I should give up on the whole idea of a baby if there was no pregnancy this month.’