Tabitha knew if she just shut her eyes, she could almost pretend she wasn't there, but she refused to show her embarrassment. Besides, she trusted James not to humiliate her.
James demonstrated the difference between the pull of the affinity and compelling her to come, which evidently looked very different if you could see the magic. He had her turn around and take his hand. Then he seated her back on the stool, while he walked a few yards away and answered questions. Well, the other mages kept asking and he answered a few. Some questions were technical: how much magic did it take to set it, how much to invoke it, its range, what would be different if it were temporary. He or Mage Edgar answered all of these, though some of it was conjecture.
It was the other kinds of questions that James was less likely to answer.
"Can you make her hurt herself or someone else?"
James answered, "Of course."
"Have you ever?"
James remained silent, so Tabitha answered, "Never."
"Can you make her say things?"
James had Tabitha answer, "Yes."
"Can you make her forget things?"
Mage Edgar answered, "Don't be stupid, boy. Compulsion spells work on muscles."
"So you can't make her feel emotions?"
James didn't answer. Mage Edgar glared at his student. Tabitha was careful not to react. Mage Edgar was wrong. She wondered if James knew the truth.
"Can you make her do complicated things, like running an errand, or only simple things?"
James answered, "What I can do and what you could do are not the same thing."
"Can you tell if she's fighting it?"
No one answered, though Tabitha suspected he couldn't.
"Why did you put it on her?"
Again no one answered.
Mage Edgar strode forward to within a few feet of the stage. "Freeze her again."
James complied.
"Alright, release her." Mage Edgar was staring intently with his unfocused eyes at the side of Tabitha nearest James. "What is that movement?"
"The affinity."
"You think that's the pull she feels?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because when I touch her," James walked over to Tabitha and held out his hand. He allowed Tabitha to choose to take it. "They both stop."
Mage Edgar looked up at Tabitha, "Did the pulling stop?"
"Yes," she said.
"I wonder though," Mage Edgar said. "When you placed the permanent spell on her, I'll bet you wanted her to stay with you. I've often speculated about whether a person's intentions might be revealed by the nuances of their weaving. Don't touch her. Freeze her again." He turned back to Tabitha. "Do you feel the pull now?"
"No."
"Yet the movement is there. Call her to you."
James walked to the other side of the platform and called Tabitha.
Mage Edgar scooted backward in front of her, studying the spell. Tabitha squelched the impulse to reach out and knock him off balance.
"Now send her away," Mage Edgar instructed.
James sent Tabitha back to the stool.
"That is very different. You can see that the affinity wants a connection with you. Of course, it may also be the effect of the keying. You've keyed this spell extremely strongly to yourself. Interesting."
Tabiitha's tolerance for these procedures had grown extremely thin. It was degrading enough to have her paces shown off like a prize horse. For Mage Edgar to analyze her and James's relationship in front of an audience was indecent.
"Mage James," a student interrupted, "I was wondering about the affinity. It doesn't just make the spell harder to break, it also makes it stronger, doesn't it?"
"Yes," James said.
"What would that mean? Was she able to resist your spell before?"
James raised an eyebrow.
"Ok, no. So, what has changed?"
James held his peace. Tabitha was grateful.
"Well, of course, the range has likely increased," Mage Edgar supplied. "Also, Mage James doesn't have to consciously command the princess's obedience. Anything he wants her to do, if he wants it badly enough, she must obey." Tabitha couldn't prevent the flush of anger and shame that corroborated Mage Edgar's assertion. There were some sniggers in the back of the room. "So there is danger inherent in allowing Mage James close enough to her to weaken the affinity, but more long-term if he does not."
This topic intrigued the mages. Although propriety limited what could be said in her presence, it was obvious that the younger mages in the back would be making jokes at her expense once they left. As the discussion dragged on, Tabitha found her temper rising along with the color in her cheeks. James interrupted the discussion.
"Mage Edgar," he said, "I believe the princess has been gracious enough in satisfying your curiosity."
"It is more than curiosity, boy," the older mage started, but at James's raised eyebrow he cut himself off. "However, I do think we may continue our analysis without her present."
"Thank you, princess," James said, deferentially bowing to her.
She nodded in acknowledgement, not meeting his gaze, then left. Hoping Melanie would be anywhere else, Tabitha headed for their room. She was so focused on burying her emotions that she forgot her limitations until the world started to shift. She threw herself backwards to avoid passing out, then discreetly looked about as she picked herself off the ground. Luckily, no one was around to notice.
Tabitha doubled back and ducked into the classroom next to where the discussion with James still continued. She had no desire to stand around like his handmaid, nor would she voluntarily enter that classroom again. She paced. The movement helped. She hadn't worked out since leaving Hinlith, hadn't even gone for a ride since then. Even though her endurance was low, she felt restless, and sword work had been her way of working through unwanted emotion. Her hands itched for a blade...and something to sink it into.
How did Mage Edgar know about James calling her in his sleep? Tabitha was certain she'd never mentioned it to either him or Rayner. Had Mage Crandall? Or Melanie? That would explain why she hadn't wanted Tabitha to do this. She probably knew it would come out. Why would her own sister broadcast that information? How was it that her family was so intent on defaming or thwarting James that they couldn't see how their actions affected Tabitha? Why was it so impossible for mages to see that under the spell was a person? Why, oh why, had James spent so much time putting this accursed spell on her, then sent her home and totally forgotten about her? What had he wanted when he set it? Why couldn't he have removed it?
By the time James called her, Tabitha was in high dudgeon, and barely managed to hide it from his companions. As if oblivious, he didn't drop the call when she came to him, but took her arm and walked her away from the others, past the buildings, to the edge of the vineyards. Between her pacing earlier and his quick stride, Tabitha felt fatigue begin to wear away her rage, but she held onto it.
"People can still see us, and if you raise your voice, they'll hear," he said as he released the spell.
Tabitha just stood, jaw set, staring off into the distance. Finally she said, "It's done. I agreed to it, because I felt I needed Mage Edgar's cooperation. I'd better have it."
"You do," James assured her.
They stood in silence for a moment. Tabitha could not figure out how to release her anger without sinking into despair. She wished she could feel nothing at all, then remembered she could.
Taking a slow breath, she suggested, "Although I would love to be alone right now, privacy isn't an option for me. If you can do some more work on the spell, oblivion would be most welcome."
They walked back to sit at one of the picnic tables. James straddled the bench, facing the vineyards. Tabitha seated herself in front of him. James froze her and began working with the spell. She let the sensations carry her away. After a while, however, her tranquility was disturbed by the niggling of voices nearby. Apparently all mages found James's ability fascinating. She even recognized Melanie's voice asking questions. James answered few. He was tweaking the mechanics of the spell, so Tabitha would know she was being called a few seconds before she started moving. As she grew used to the voices, Tabitha relaxed again and slowly lost track of her surroundings.
FORTY
Choosing Sides
"I need to return to Xentia tomorrow evening," James said as he woke her the next morning.
Tabitha didn't know how to respond to that. She knew his responsibilities lay with King Fenril, but where would that leave her?
He continued, "I do think I can weaken the affinity enough to allow me to leave you before then. If not, I will bring you with me. You could arrange to visit with Princess Anya."
Tabitha sat up quickly. "First you drop everything and rush over here, then I follow you home. Do you know how many rumors that will start? I may as well just stay in your guest room."
James looked thoughtful. Tabitha raised her hand in a stopping gesture.
"That was sarcasm," she insisted. "You'd better get working on the spell so you can leave on time. Without me. If we need to visit later in the summer that could be worked out more discreetly, but I'm neither traveling back with you nor getting shipped there unconscious."
"Then you'd better get dressed." He flashed a smile. "I don't have a guest room."
Melanie ordered him out of the room and glared at Tabitha. "You treat him much too familiarly. That would barely be appropriate if you were engaged. He's never even asked to court you."
That reminder dampened Tabitha's mood considerably. It was easy to forget how distant James could be. Probably, once she was better, he'd go back to ignoring her. She walked to the cafeteria with a heavy heart, bothered for the first time that he hardly ever ate with her.
Mage Crandall stopped by Tabitha's table after he finished his meal.
"The discussion will be held tonight," he informed her. "Your father will probably make his decision by morning." He paused. "Prepare yourself, Tabitha."
With that cryptic remark, he left. Tabitha wondered if he was warning her that her father had already made his decision, regardless of what the mages advised, or whether the mages had already made up their minds and the discussion was a mere formality, or...there were too many possibilities. And what if everyone did decide to allow James to weaken the spell. What would that look like? Tabitha wondered if her father's field marshal could arrange a post for her with his counterpart in Xentia. She'd hardly noticed the man at the wedding. She'd been too focused on James. Who hadn't acknowledged her except to send her away.
The rest of the day was lost to magic. It was raining, so James worked on her in one of the classrooms. They were constantly surrounded by mages. Tabitha kept her thoughts to herself. Her feelings were too remote to bother her.
She couldn't remember lunch, but they stopped just before dinner, during which James again sat with mages from the school. Tabitha noticed that he ate ravenously. He was looking more than a little worn. Afterwards, he came over to her.
"The faculty are going to start the discussion soon," James said. When Tabitha started to rise, he shook his head. "They don't want you present for it. They don't want me there either, but they need me in case they have questions about the magic."
"So what am I supposed to do?" She clamped her jaw shut to avoid adding any of the acerbic things that wanted to follow. This hadn't been his decision.
"I want to put you to sleep. The time will go faster. The affinity will continue to weaken. And it would be good if you were rested for tomorrow."
Tabitha wanted to protest, but he'd been babysitting her for days now. He needed a break, and he really was looking tired. Perhaps even he was finding his magical limit.
###
It was late in the morning by the time James woke Tabitha. He looked tired and tense. Melanie was with him.
"Has father already made his decision?"
"No." The two answered simultaneously. Melanie shot James an irritated look. So perhaps Melanie was the explanation for James's tension.
"She's awake now," Melanie told him. "You can wait outside."
Tabitha winced at her sister's tone. She reached out to touch James's arm as he stood stiffly. He glanced at her and she hoped whatever was behind that expression was aimed more at her sister than herself. Perhaps it was just fatigue. She removed her hand.
"Thank you," she said. He nodded and left. She turned to her sister and asked, "What was that all about?"
"He acts like he owns you."
"You just noticed this now? Or are you trying to irritate him so much that he'll leave before we even know if I can function without him here? You do remember that he saved my life?"
"Do you remember that he's the reason it was in danger?"
"He didn't know about the affinity. He wasn't trying to kill me."
"What was he trying to do, I wonder?" Melanie asked icily.
"I have no idea."
"He certainly meant to tie you to him. I think no matter what father decides, Mage James won't want to leave you here."
Tabitha refrained from responding. Now that it had come to it, she realized how afraid she was of being here without him. It hadn't gone well for her the last two times.
When she finished getting ready, Tabitha found the hallway empty. Hopefully, James had gone back to bed. Tabitha decided to see if there was any food available in the dining hall, although it was now closer to lunch than breakfast. She hoped all of the spellwork James had done yesterday had weakened the affinity sufficiently, but she walked cautiously just in case it hadn't. Since she had no idea where James' room was, or if he was in it, there was no way for her to judge how far she might be from him. It made her jumpy.
After she'd eaten, Tabitha went for a walk. She stayed in the vicinity of the dorm and the dining hall to reduce the chance of wandering into the enchanted woods. Gradually she gained confidence and wandered farther. It gave her a sense of freedom she hadn't had since Mage Edgar had cancelled her trip home.