Without ever having returned to the direction from which Tabitha was certain they'd come, they re-entered the yard right at lunchtime. This time the table held a bouquet of orchids.
"How do you do that?" Tabitha couldn't resist asking.
"Trade secret," James replied a little smugly.
In the afternoon, James did withdraw to his room. Tabitha decided against making another practice sword. She was still easily fatigued and their walk had worn her out. Instead she opted for a long soak in the bath. This time she wasn't ensorcelled or falling asleep, so she really enjoyed it. Afterwards, she took her time with her hair and attempted to arrange it in something more like how she usually wore it. Since she had never done her own hair at home, except to braid it for training or horse riding, this failed. She ended up brushing it out and simply re-braiding it. Then she started looking through the armoire. If she was to return home the day after tomorrow, what would she wear? It hardly seemed right to reappear in hand-me-downs from a servant. Her one dress had no doubt been disposed of. The journey here had not been kind to the delicate fabric. Tabitha wished, not for the first time, that she had been wearing her sparring gear when she'd been kidnapped. It would have survived the trip well enough and been much more comfortable too. Well, whatever she wore, surely someone would recognize her. The guards knew her well enough.
At dinner, there was a lush bouquet with a dozen blooms, each unique. Tabitha accused James of showing off, which he took as a compliment. Afterwards they sat in the chairs by the fireplace, and he continued grilling her on what kind of a reception she could expect. He seemed truly worried. Once she had reassured him to the best of her ability, she asked the reason for his concern.
"You won't be the first young woman I've sent home. They weren't all greeted warmly by their fathers."
Tabitha was slightly stumped, unsure how to tactfully ask her next question. James waited. Finally she settled on: "I'd been under the impression that the others came more willingly than they left?"
James's face grew very serious. "It would be wrong to place blame equally on each of them. Some only thought they came willingly."
"Why didn't anyone notice the spells you used?" Gifted mages could see spells in great detail. Even magic sensers, who lacked the ability to cast spells, would know if a spell had recently been cast on a person or object. And although people with any level of magical ability were rare, surely a father whose daughter was seduced by a mage would seek one out?
"None of the mages in Xentia were willing to cross me."
"You don't seem very fond of preference spells now."
"I'm not." He half-smiled as he added, "But I do find them useful."
Tabitha gave him a hard look. "If you break your word this time, you'd better decide you love them."
"So it seems."
After that, James led the conversation in more congenial directions. When he started describing the northern mountains, Tabitha listened raptly as he detailed his travels through them. He took notice of her interest and continued to describe places he'd visited that she had only read about: Xentia's eastern bogs, Westphal's coastline, a volcanic island in the western sea. His descriptions were thorough. She felt that she would recognize the landmarks, the wildlife, the smells of each place if she ever had a chance to visit them.
"It's getting late. You should sleep." He sounded regretful. Tabitha realized he was right. She felt stiff from sitting so still while listening to him.
He stood and offered her his hand. She hesitated, then took it, not certain if the gesture was part of the agreement. If he'd been a friend, would he have offered? Or was that crossing the boundary from friendship into something else?
She wasn't surprised when he didn't release her hand after pulling her to her feet. She side-stepped around him, drawing slightly away.
"Friends, remember?"
"Who are you keeping yourself for?" James sounded frustrated. Maybe even jealous. His gaze was intense.
Tabitha wondered if he really could have broken his promise at the border just to avoid saying goodbye. Her heart hurt at the thought. He was handsome, powerful, interesting. And wouldn't it be amazing if she, who was courted by no one, could capture the heart of the most legendary heartbreaker in the three kingdoms? She reminded herself that the likelihood of that was remote; also, that she needed to separate her heart from her pride, and put them both under the control of her mind.
He waited for her answer. She was very afraid that a tentative response might undermine his decision to send her home.
"I'm going home because that's where I belong." His gaze didn't waver, nor did his grip on her hand loosen. Carefully, she continued. "I'm saving myself for someone I trust. Someone committed to a lifelong relationship. I'm not interested in a broken heart or in justifying the scandal you've no doubt incited."
She looked at him a little longer, wishing she dared say more. Finally, she pulled her hand firmly until he released it, turned, and walked into her room.
Although she was tired, she sat on the edge of her bed and listened. There was silence. Then movement as James went to his room, opened and closed some drawers, moved his chair. Then nothing. She wondered what he was doing. Eventually, she changed and climbed into bed. It was a long time before she fell asleep.
TEN
Last Day
The conversation lagged at breakfast. Tabitha was distracted by her hopes for the next day, and her fear that James might once again renege on his promise. James seemed withdrawn. Afraid to let him brood himself into a change of plans, Tabitha decided she'd better start talking.
"Do you think you'll be at Salbren castle this fall?"
"I imagine so."
"My family usually attends Xentia's Autumn Ball. I wonder if we'll still go if you're court mage there. This would be my first time, since I turned sixteen last winter."
"Skipping might be seen as a signal that the two countries' alliance is shaky. I'm not sure either could afford that."
"If you're court mage, I guess my parents will eventually have to get over their history with you. Do you really think King Fenril will just give you the position?"
"Look at it from his point of view: if King Fenril doesn't make me court mage of Xentia, then King Langston will almost certainly offer me that position in Westphal. Your father in Valstadt is the only king who wouldn't consider me.
I am a powerful mage and I don't have enemies in Westphal. Nor does Westphal have a strong alliance with Xentia. King Fenril would rather have me working for Xentia than against it."
"How do you think your presence in the Xentian court will affect Valstadt's alliance with Xentia?"
"It remains to be seen. If your father is wise, he would also rather have me in Xentia than in Westphal, for although you say Valstadt now has close relationships with both, I remember King Langston being much more...pliable...than King Fenril."
"Then, unless you really do have your eye on Princess Anya, wouldn't it behoove you to apply to King Langston instead? You would have more power in Westphal."
"I'm not interested in playing politics in the shadows any more. That much I did learn last time."
"So you'll settle for becoming court mage and crown prince of Xentia." She smiled as she said this.
"So you're allowed to tease, but I'm not?"
"Yes. I think, all things considered, that's reasonable."
James dipped his head in acquiescence, with a slight smile of his own.
He disappeared into his room after breakfast, leaving her to feel the length of the day ahead. At lunchtime, he joined her for the meal, but he looked tired and wasn't talkative. When he disappeared back into his room afterwards, she started to worry. What was he doing? Maybe it had nothing to do with her. Maybe now that she was leaving he was just getting on with his life. After all the flowers yesterday and their conversation before bed, she hadn't expected to just be ignored. It was their last day together. They were pretending to be friends. Why had he stopped?
At dinner there was another silence. As it grew, Tabitha forced herself not to fidget. She wished the evening would end, so that she could know whether her hope of returning home was in vain. Yet she also wished it wouldn't end like this. She was sliding into a funk wishing for a lot of things. She was tired of trying to figure him out and tired of trying to understand her feelings for him. She was also tired of worrying that something she might do would ruin her chances of going home.
Her sinking emotions must have shown in her countenance. James broke the silence asking her what was wrong. She decided to tell him. She'd regret this if he cancelled her trip home, but she was sick of making decisions based on fear. Either he would keep his word or he wouldn't.
"These last few days, when we've pretended to be friends, have been nice. The first two days, when I believed you really did just want to cross safely back into Xentia, were also."
She dropped her gaze. After a moment she continued, "Our paths will hardly ever cross again. I was to become ambassador to Xentia in a few years, but now they'll find someone else. I will go to Westphal, probably. I suppose it doesn't really matter to you. You've had two weeks to catch up on current events and politics. To make a plan. So maybe it wasn't a mistake...." The thought that these miserable weeks had been some kind of pragmatic exercise for him depressed her.
"It was not my plan to break faith with you."
"But it was easy for you to do, wasn't it? You've been in the habit of making selfish decisions your whole life. For the most part, it's worked out well for you. This will too, or at least it won't hurt you."
"I've spent half of my life as a garden decoration. If I'd collected allies instead of co-conspirators, I think they might have tried to free me at some point."
"So when are you planning to change that?"
"I'm trying to change that now."
She studied him for a minute. "You're releasing me to make it possible for you to become Court Mage of Xentia? Hoping to mollify my father with my report of your good behavior?"
"You yourself said I'd behaved like a gentleman."
"That was before you kissed me." As soon as she spoke, she regretted it. Tabitha flushed in embarrassment.
"But you still wanted to send the letter after, so I must not have been too ungentlemanly."
If he was laughing at her, he was hiding it well. Curious, she asked, "Did you send it?"
"I did. I figured it would take the pressure off King Fenril long enough for me to decide what to do with you."
"You hadn't decided?" Her shock at this casual statement overshadowed her surprise that he'd sent her letter. "After I'd already been in Xentia a week? What were the options?" Tabitha was intrigued, though she wasn't sure she wanted to know.
He shook his head. "You only get to know the one I decided on: sending you home to mollify your father with a good report of my behavior."
Tabitha considered for a minute. "I'm not sure that counts as unselfish."
"But it is the best decision, for both of us."
She couldn't disagree.
After dinner, James again left her to herself. As soon as it was late enough to justify ending the evening, Tabitha headed to her room. Once in bed, though, she was wide awake. She was too over-excited to sleep. After their conversation, she felt more certain she really would be heading home tomorrow. Suddenly, all the details she'd been afraid to ask about would be important: how far was home and in which direction? Would she be able to carry everything she needed? Should she pack? Was there money to buy provisions along the way? What would she do if she met a group of bandits while traveling alone and unarmed? What if she got lost? As anxious as she was to leave, the thought of making the return journey on her own was daunting. It had taken them four and a half days to reach the cabin.
After compiling a lengthy mental list of information and supplies she would need before she left, Tabitha determinedly set it all aside. Starting the day exhausted wouldn't help. She closed her eyes, breathed deeply, and was soon asleep.
ELEVEN
Return
As she slowly regained consciousness, Tabitha wondered how much longer until her sleep patterns would return to normal. She hadn't experienced the mad rush of dreams that she had the previous two nights. Rather she'd had one long one in which she wandered the woods, lost, trying to explain to her sister why she couldn't make it home in time to see her before Melanie had to leave for school. She woke from it oddly relieved. It had been comparatively restful.
Hanging across the front of her wardrobe was a new riding suit. It was beautifully made, light blue with silver embroidery. New riding boots stood below it. Tabitha's heart leapt. Maybe she wouldn't be walking after all. She dressed in it hurriedly, pleased to finally be back in clothes that fit properly. Evidently her old gown had been sent to a seamstress for measurements before it was discarded. She took time to tightly braid and tie up her hair. She would need it out of the way today.
The smells from the kitchen tantalized her as she opened her bedroom door. James was waiting by the fireplace, also dressed in riding gear. This confused Tabitha. Surely he couldn't be planning to escort her home? Her father would have him executed on sight. He looked exhausted.
"We haven't yet discussed any of the details of your send off."
"I'm guessing it will be on horseback and that you're accompanying me."
"Only for a few hours. Until you return to the unenchanted part of the forest."
"Isn't that just the edge of the yard? The servants seem to come and go without needing special help."
"The boundary is only one line of defense. The servants have their own path, but since that leads to a village in a remote part of my...cousin's...lands in northeast Xentia, it seems rather inconvenient to drop you off there."
"We can't have gotten that far! It would have taken weeks to walk there from anywhere on Valstadt's border."