The Bully Book (15 page)

“Mad about what?”

“I don't know. For whatever was wrong this year.” She touched my arm. “You've been avoiding me.”

“You were avoiding me!”

“I tried talking to you,” she said. “You just ignored me.”

“Well …” I took a breath. “It makes it kind of hard for us to be friends when you're dating him.”

Melody crossed her arms.

“I know that you don't like Jason,” she said, “but he's getting better.”

“He's evil.”

“I'm trying to make him better. That's one of the reasons I said I'd go out with him.”

“Oh, great reason!” I said.

“I tried to make things better for you, too.”

“Well, it hasn't worked!”

For a minute I thought about telling her everything—the whole year, everything I'd learned about The Bully Book. I'd let her know that everything Jason had been saying to her was lies—that I was the only one who really knew what was happening in this grade. I was going to trust her, and that was a big deal. If she told Jason I knew about The Book, my investigation would be over. The Bully Bookers would block my path every way they knew how and make my life even more horrific. But I decided I'd trust her, because we had been such good friends. I was going to put it all out on the line—and then he showed up.

“Why don't you step away from my girlfriend, gaywad?”

Jason Crazypants is so articulate.

He was behind me with Adrian and Donovan at my sides, boxing me in.

“Jason, cut it out,” Melody said quietly. So quietly Jason pretended not to hear.

“She doesn't like you, Grunt.” The other kids at the lot turned to look at us.

“What do you think, Haskins?” Adrian said. “You think you're cool?”

“You're gay,” Donovan said to me without emotion. The Book has changed him completely.

“He's the Grunt! He's gay! We're gonna make him pay!” Jason Crazypants started chanting. He stepped between Melody and me. “He's the Grunt! He's gay! We're gonna make him pay!”

He was leaning into me, burning anger on his face. Adrian and Donovan joined in on the chant. They had encircled me. I was backing away from them. Other kids at the bus stop started, too.

“He's the Grunt! He's gay! We're gonna make him pay!”

Kids in our grade, but younger ones as well, kids that don't even know me. Why do they hate me when they don't even know me?

It's all a fraud. These Bully Bookers are playing everyone, manipulating them into doing their bidding.

I want to say, “Yes, bow to your masters! You've all been tricked!” But the words won't come out of my throat. My whole brain is flooded with Jason's hateful face, chanting at me. Adrian, Donovan, every kid at this stop.

All except Melody. She's in the back, behind the mob. And it looks like she's shouting too. “Stop it!” I could read it on her lips. “Shut up!”

But the mob was too loud and too thick. She couldn't be heard or break through them. She was in too deep, and when her eyes met mine, I could see that they were full of tears. But she didn't stay to defend me. She ran away and I couldn't blame her. There's nothing that she can do, and pulling her into this would just make life worse for everybody.

So I ran too.

But in the opposite direction.

It's lunchtime. I had to pee. Normal, right?

No, not normal. 'Cause when I got up out of my seat and headed to the cafeteria exit, The Evil Three all dropped their lunches and stood. Maybe they needed to pee too?

Seemed like it, 'cause they were following me. Not even trying to conceal it. I could hear their sneakers on the linoleum flooring. I looked over my shoulder and they were smiling at me, all three of them moving real slow.

I could tell they were trying to scare me. But I didn't let them. I kept walking.

I slipped into the bathroom without looking back. I didn't care what they were doing and I wanted them to know it. I got in front of a urinal and did my private thing. A footstep echoed against the tiles and then Jason and Adrian were on both sides of me. Maybe Donovan was guarding the door.

I think they were pretending to pee, but of course, I didn't look. If they were gonna mess with me again and try to get me to pee myself, they were fools, 'cause I wasn't falling for it.

It took a long time to finish and they just stood there, silent. Adrian had his big sports goggles up on his forehead, which made him cross-eyed a little. Jason was breathing hard, letting out little sighs.

I finished up, zipped myself, and stepped away from the wall. Just then the two of them turned on me. I knew they weren't really peeing. Adrian gave me a cross-eyed look and put his left hand on my shoulder. I didn't really see his right hand, but I felt it.

In my stomach. The fist lingered there for a second. I bent over and coughed. His big arm pulled away and another hand was on my neck, pulling me up from behind. Again. The thin fist this time. It was Jason and it didn't hurt as much, cause my stomach was all tensed up now. He grabbed my shirt collar and pulled my head up to his mouth.

“Mind your place, Grunt.” He pushed me away.

I didn't get a good view of them leaving. But I think they did it real slow.

Now, I know I've talked about physical violence, and I've told you not to do it. Generally, this is true. It's a very risky thing to hit a kid. It doesn't fit the image we're going for. So if you have to do it, absolutely no one can know.

My dad talks about a thing called “Risk/Reward.” It's where you weigh all the bad things that can happen from doing something against all the good things. On the risk side, you can get in trouble, kids might think you're a jerk, and you could get into a real fight and be hurt.

There aren't too many rewards. The only one is controlling your Grunt. And if it comes to that, it's worth it.

An out-of-control Grunt is one who talks back to you or your lieutenants. A Grunt who doesn't do what you say. Or even one who is not obviously scared of you. You need to take quick action, and physical violence might be what you have to do. If you've done your job giving the Grunt a bad reputation with teachers, he won't tell on you.

Leave no marks. They speak, too.

Every day for the last two weeks, when I tried to get up during lunch to use the bathroom, Jason and Adrian would stare me down. I've been trying to hold it until the end of school.

But the science experiment I've been running on my bladder went wrong today when my mom again packed 2 Hi-Cs for lunch.

I had to get to the bathroom.

I heard chairs screeching away from the lunch table. The Evil Three were after me again.

But I had a plan.

Which was to run. But not just anywhere. I was heading to the side of the school where nobody uses the bathrooms, not even the janitors. I ran to the Old Side.

Down the long hall I went. The bright red bricks of the New Side flashed past until I hit the plaque that marked the Old Side. From here on out, the school is built of white concrete blocks.

Nobody likes these bathrooms. The sinks are all broken and spray a permanent mist into the air. It's like walking through a jungle. The mirror is cracked and if you flush the urinals, they flood the floor with 5 gallons of water and pee. It stinks, and it's wet, and The Evil Three would never find me there.

I was just relaxing when the handle of the urinal squirted me in the face.

God, I thought, wiping the water away with my hand, the Old Side is so old.

And that's when it hit me. All the nice stuff is on the New Side of the school, while the crappy stuff the little kids use is on the Old Side. And there's a reason for that: The Old Side is what the school was originally. The New Side was built later.

My hands were shaking. I did my best to wash them in the mist from the sink, but just ended up soaking my shirt. It didn't matter.

I bolted from the bathroom and down the hall. My sneakers were wet from the bathroom floor, but instead of slipping, I glided down the hallway. Faster than I've ever moved. The concrete blocks shot past. Their white painted patterns guided me to my goal. I hit the brakes and squeaked to a stop.

Right in front of the plaque that marks the end of the Old Side, and the beginning of the New.

I need to get out of school.

Now.

I need to call Clarence.

The older I get, the stranger the world seems. Maybe I just understand it better. Every time you put the TV on, there's something happening in some country you never heard of. Last night I saw a TV movie about a nuclear bomb hitting us. It started out really boring and I wanted to leave, but my dad said it was important to see how dangerous things are.

The movie got good after the nuke went off. People's houses were gone and cities were destroyed and everybody was sick and starving and trying to understand what happened. My mom cried during this part where a baby dies. At the end, they kept saying the survivors had to band together and make a new society from the rubble. After the movie, they played a cheesy antinuke commercial.

I wonder what it'd be like if a bomb did go off and destroy everything. I don't want people to die, but when the survivors were talking about building a new society, I got excited.

I've already got a ton of ideas about how to make a better society. We could stop all the wars and things that make life suck.

We could build it from the plan that's in your hands right now.

I found Clarence beginning his daily Dumpster dive.

“We need to get back to the archives. Now.”

I jumped on my bike, Clarence did the same, and 5 minutes later I had the 2 documents in my hand. One was a letter written by an old principal of Arborland Elementary and the other was the Bully Book Page itself.

“Look here,” I said, and showed Clarence the principal's letter. “Read the thing about 1987.”