The California Club (43 page)

I feel heat burning up from my stomach. I'm angry. Beyond angry. Incensed! Watch out – I'm summoning my inner goddess! Here she comes now.

'You know what?' I say out loud. 'I've waited ten years for you, Elliot. I'm not waiting any more.’

I didn't want to break The California Club rules this late in the game but when I double-checked the small print the only condition of my visiting Elise was that I stay overnight. It didn't say where. I chose the car.

And 4am counts as morning, right? I turned on the ignition at the first hint of daylight and drove like the clappers to Tiger Tiger. And I didn't cry. Not once.

My biggest wobble came when I switched to the 10 freeway and saw signs for the airport. ‘I just want to go home!’ my body yearned. But I told myself that comfort was closer to hand – soon I'll have my girls around me. Then I can collapse. But until then I have to hold it together. I overtake a white Ford Focus and move into the fast lane. Before now I've felt timid driving on the freeways, today I dare anyone to cross me. That's the one liberating thing about feeling like this – I've got nothing to lose.

And yet my mind keeps going over everything Elliot said. He was so nearly there. It felt like a ten-year courtship was about to come to fruition – ten years of conversations on every topic, seeing each other at our best and worst, laughing and crying together, then finally, if a little belatedly, there was slow-dancing and even a kiss. We've come so far and yet there's always something missing, he's never said I love you to me. He talked his way around it, hinted at it, written two out of the three words in my birthday book, but he's never once been direct. I'm wondering if his sudden reservations about Elise could be put down to pure wedding nerves. In the absence of a stripper for him to have a last minute mistake with, he chose me. Other than the fine looking raccoons there wasn't a lot of choice. I sigh. At the end of the day, he went with her. How much more of a blunt message do I need?

But why would they get married without their ready-made congregation – me, Sasha, Zoë and Helen? Does she really have enough power over him to make him turn his back on all of us?

Enough. Think about something else. Anything. I flick on the radio. Okay, I’ll be needing a lyric-free station, can't take these wailings about the love I lost. Jazz FM. Perfect. For two minutes. All too soon the free-form tinkerings make me feel I'm going insane so I settle instead for the chirpy trumpets of a local Mexican station.

Finally, Tiger Tiger. Oh, the roar of the cats and the smell of the sun-baked poo. The first face I see is that of Ryan and my heart fair explodes. He understands, I know he does.

'Lara!' Sasha staggers around the corner. 'You're so early!'

'Need a hand?' I help her with the outsize floodlight she's maneuvering. It's one of about ten dotted around the pens.

'Where did you get all this stuff?' I ask.

'Local movie suppliers – a couple of them remembered Ty from way back, they've been really generous.'

‘They've loaned it all for nothing?'

'Well, Tiger Beer are sponsoring the event so they're going to come along tonight and get tanked.'

'Fair enough.'

'You know who's been amazing?' Sasha shows me where to set down the light. 'Boris!'

'What's he been up to?' I smile. ‘You'll see. I don't want to spoil the surprise.' Sasha dusts off her hands.

'Is Zoë here?'

'She'll be here for lunch. And Helen. They said they couldn't get hold of you but I guess you got their message?'

I shake my head. I turned off the phone last night and haven't switched it on since.

‘There's some kind of passing out ceremony for The California Club.' Sasha wipes her face, leaving a streak of dirt across her cheek.

'What does that involve?' I ask, smudging it away for her.

'I'm presuming just a speech and handing over the keys for Marilyn's Beach House. Maybe they give us a certificate!'

God knows what mine would say. Failed – wish incomplete. Try again next year.

'It was supposed to be at The Del but Helen rearranged it cos of the fundraiser. I was just going to set up some chairs out on the porch, what do you reckon?'

I can't quite picture Alex in his immaculate suit sitting on a rocker but then again, who knows?

'Where's Ty?'

'He's just gone into town to get the rest of the equipment. Carrie should be back this afternoon. Right now it's just you and me.'

It's the perfect cue to pour my heart out, but then I find myself locking eyes with Ryan again. My plight counts as nothing compared to him and his compadres.

'How's Oliver?' I ask.

'Getting better every day. Ty is so good with him, I just leave them to it.' She leads me to the kitchen and hands me a glass of water. 'Everything okay with you? How was Elise – nightmare?'

'You have no idea!' I take a big gulp of water to force down the swell of wretched emotion.

'Ah well, it's over now, isn't it?'

I nod, setting my glass down on the side. All over. I want to crumple and sob but this is Sasha's big day – a good day, not a poor me day.

I clap my hands together hard, hoping the sting will revive me. 'Tell me what I can do to help.'

Though Sasha won't give me the details, I'm beginning to get an idea of what she has planned. The cats will be floodlit by huge black lamps on stands, a vast screen is to be stretched across the backlot for some kind of projection, and judging by the number of ice chests that Ty is now unloading, there's going to be an awful lot of beer. He looks great, gives me a big hug and a whispered,
I love that girl of yours!
when he sees me. We work in companionable silence doing last minute cage-cleaning duties until The California Club is called to order in the early afternoon.

Having become something of a perfectionist sprucing Ryan's cage, I'm last to arrive. Everyone else is already assembled on the porch. I smile at Helen, who barely manages a mouth-twitch back. I'm guessing she's peeved that there are two notable absences.

'Where's Elliot?' Zoë hisses at me as I lower myself into the worn-out rocking chair.

'No idea,' I shrug. He could be on his honeymoon by now, for all I know.

'But you were just with Elise, weren't you?'

'I haven't seen either of them since last night.'

'Okay!' Alex calls an end to our whispering. 'Welcome to the concluding meeting of The California Club!'

We shuffle excitedly in our seats. We did it! Against all odds we got through the week! I flash back to the day we all set off and it seems like a lifetime ago. So many memories, so many emotions …

'Now obviously not all of you are present today because, well, we've had a surprise wedding!'

Zoë and Sasha gasp, looking aghast as they whip round to face me.

Then it's true. He did marry her. And now he's too ashamed to show his face. I can't keep the demons at bay any longer – I feel as if I'm being buried alive.

Alex rattles on regardless. 'I've just sent out for a bottle of champagne so we'll have a toast just as soon as that arrives. In the meantime we have a selection of awards we would like to present.'

'Hold on!' Zoë gets to her feet. 'That’s all you have to say about the wedding?'

I grab Zoë's arm and try and pull her back down to her seat. 'Just leave it, please,' I implore her.

'But—' Zoë protests, then sees the desperation on my face and caves with a muttered: 'I don't believe it. Why would they do it behind our backs?’ She throws her hands up in exasperation.

Sasha shakes her head, still in a state of disbelief.

Helen doesn't look her normal radiant self as she steps forward with a collection of carved Coke and Tango cans.

'Um. Obviously the news is quite a shock to us all but I don't want to let it spoil our celebration here. So I'm just going to …' she trails off.

Alex gives a little cough hoping to set her back on track.

'Sorry,' she says fighting to regain her composure. 'Each of you has excelled in some way and we would like to honor that by presenting you with the following awards.' She speaks with forced enthusiasm. For such an all-knowing being she looks knocked for six. I realize then that it's not just me the wedding has devastated, it's all of us. Somehow that helps to share the load. Once again I feel Zoë take my hand, as Sasha takes the other.

‘
Most Miles on the Clock:
Lara!’

‘Hey, watch it!' I try and join in the fun.

'We've estimated that you've travelled a total of 1300 miles in the past seven days,' Alex adds. 'You're definitely road chick of the week.'

I accept my customized can with a little bow. Road chick – that's better.

'The
Turn That Frown Upside Down
award goes to … Sasha.'

She flushes hot pink.

'To see you go from lost to found has been a real triumph and inspiration.' Helen beams with pride.

Sasha accepts her award and with a trembling voice says, 'I just want to thank The California Club and Helen in particular for—'

'Hey this isn't the Oscars!' Zoë heckles. 'What do I win for?'

'Actually you and Lara are joint-winners of the
Best-Dressed
award – for your
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
outfits.' Alex holds up a picture.

'I thought you'd lost the camera!' Zoë gasps, grabbing my arm.

'So did I,' I frown. 'I couldn't find it after the Madonna Inn.’

‘I took it!' Helen confesses.

Ooh she's a cunning one, always a step ahead.

'Worst-Dressed
,' Helen continues apace.

My hiking outfit must be a definite contender but I'm spared the final honor as Alex holds up a photograph of Elise in a flesh-colored leotard doing 'downward dog' in a yoga class.

'Eww!' we reel back, 'Who took that?'

'We have our contacts,' Alex smirks.

'Is Martha one?' I ask. She definitely seemed in league at times.

'Maybe., Helen smiles, then announces a tie for
Hottest Romance
.

'Literally a tie!' she giggles. 'Ty and Sasha with Lara and Joel!'

'What about me and Boris?' Zoë complains.

I turn to her and gawp, 'You didn't!'

'No,' Zoë chuckles. 'But I very nearly would!'

'And finally,' Alex concludes the ceremony, '
Fish out of Water
: Elliot.'

Silence.

‘He never really took to the wilderness, did he?' Helen sighs as our mood loses its momentary frivolity.

'Oh I don't know,' I beg to differ, thinking of him grinning like a fool on horseback, nuzzling my neck at the bear talk and, best of all, lying by the big log fire at the wedding reception – I'd never seen him looking so content.

'I can see what you had in mind for the rest of us,' Sasha frowns, 'but what was the thinking behind sending him there?'

'What you just said – thinking,' Helen explains. 'Elliot is always so busy distracting himself with work or TV or computer games, there's never any quiet time to listen to himself. When he wants a thrill he just plugs in or rattles his bones on a rollercoaster. We wanted him to get some natural highs, to feel good just from being alive.'

'And we thought if he had the chance to really think about some of the decisions he was about to make, um …' Alex falters, realizing this bit didn't quite pan out.

I stare at the dusty wooden floorboards. It so nearly worked. I wonder what happened to send him back to her? What hold does she have over him?

'I have one more question,’ Sasha raises her hand. ‘I understand how The California Club knows all about us because you could tell them, Helen, but what happens when you get a new member you know nothing about?'

Helen turns to Alex. 'Is it time?' she asks him.

'I guess so!' he nods, holding her gaze.

'Everyone!' Helen gets our attention. 'I want you to meet Reuben, my boyfriend.'

Sasha and Zoë turn around to look for him. I stare straight at Alex.

'And the award for
Most Duplicitous Couple
goes to …'

'I thought you were beginning to suspect,' Helen acknowledges my dig.

'Hold on!' Zoë sits up straight. 'Alex is Reuben?'

He steps forward and shakes each of our hands. 'Nice to meet you all again!'

'Why did you lie?' Sasha frowns, looking hurt.

Helen pulls a face. 'I thought things would sound more convincing coming from a stranger in a suit.'

'Can I take it off now?' Reuben wriggles in his jacket.

Go ahead,' Helen nods.

He liberates himself quicker than Houdini shedding his chains and rumples his overly prepared hair. 'That's better!'

The truth is slowly dawning. It's not just Alex that doesn't exist.

‘The California Club?' my voice quavers. 'Is it real?' I don't know if I want to hear the answer.

'Of course!' Helen laughs.

'Wow!' Zoë breathes, relieved. 'For a minute there I thought you were going to —'

'But you're the only members.'

Silence while the information is processed.

'Helen, what's going on?' Sasha looks uneasy.

'I invented it.' Helen shrugs.

'But why?' I protest, exchanging bewildered looks with the others. 'I don't understand.'

Helen takes a breath and then begins: 'In the year since I left, you've all been drifting away from each other. In fact you've just been drifting, full stop. And complaining. Every time I'd want to tell you about my beautiful new life I stopped myself because I thought it would just seem like gloating – you were all so down. Sasha, you tried to cover it up but you know you’re the world's worst liar. It was breaking my heart to feel you slipping away, I knew I had to do something drastic to reach you.'

Sasha blinks back at her.

'Zoë, I know you'll always land on your feet but it sounded to me like you were wishing your life away, looking at celebrity magazines and feeling incomplete because you'd never been papped coming out of a restaurant on the arm of a footballer. You've got so much to offer and it was frustrating me that all your energy was being put into empty dreams. I remember wishing I could give you all your dreams so that then you'd realize how much value your normal life had. And how much further you could go with it.'