The Call of the Desert (16 page)

Julia had only had to wear that necklace for him to see clearly for the first time in years.

His jaw tightened. Even then he hadn’t been able to give in, still fighting right to the end … He’d had to make her say it, make her tell him how she really felt. As if he needed the concrete proof of her words and to feel the pain that came with them. Because he knew he deserved it. Perhaps that was what he’d been protecting himself against all along—the truth of
her
feelings. Not just his own.

He’d held something very precious a long time ago, and he’d broken it for ever. Kaden looked down and opened his fist to reveal the necklace, its chain in two pieces.

J
ULIA
was in their private dining room, where Kaden had said he’d meet her for lunch. She was standing at the open French doors but seeing nothing of the glorious view. A couple of weeks had passed since that night. When Julia had woken the morning after she’d been alone. She’d immediately got up to look for the necklace but hadn’t found it. Her sense of loss was profound, but she was too nervous to mention it to anyone or ask for help in searching for it. The last thing she wanted was for Kaden to know she was scrabbling around looking for it at any given opportunity.

She’d had to realise with a heavy heart that perhaps she needed to be rid of it because it symbolised something she’d never really had or would have—Kaden’s love.

Kaden hadn’t avoided her at night since then. They’d made love. And yet his touch was more … reticent. As if he was scared he’d hurt her. It seemed to compound the yawning chasm growing between them, so much worse than before.

How could they have gone three steps forward only to go about a hundred back?

“I’m sorry to have kept you waiting.”

Julia whirled around to see Kaden in the doorway. Even though he’d left their bed only hours before, she blushed. She schooled her reaction and walked to the table. Just as she put out a hand to touch her chair she felt a kick in her womb, forcible enough to make her gasp and touch her bump, which was now big enough to be obvious to everyone.

Instantly Kaden was at her side, holding her arm. “What is it?”

As much in reaction to his touch as the kick, Julia said shakily, “I’m fine … it was just a kick—the first real kick I’ve felt.”

Another one came then, and she couldn’t stop a smile spreading across her face. Feeling the babies move was dissolving any inhibitions. She reached instinctively for Kaden’s hand and brought it to her belly, pressing it down, praying that they would kick again. She looked at Kaden, and as always the ever-present awareness seemed to hum between them.

When the seconds stretched and there were no more kicks Julia flushed. She felt exposed. Kaden was too close, looking at her too assessingly. She pulled his hand away,

“They’ve stopped …”

Instantly the connection was broken, and Kaden stalked to the other side of the table and sat down. Staff appeared as if by magic and served them. Their conversation was stilted, centring around a charity fête that Julia was due to attend that afternoon.

When they’d finished eating Julia wiped her mouth, preparing to go.

Kaden said, “You don’t have to go to the fête this afternoon if you don’t want to. Unfortunately I can’t get
out of my meeting with the foreign minister. He’s due to fly to the US tomorrow.”

Julia smiled tightly. “It’ll be fine. I need to get used to going to these things on my own sooner or later.”

Kaden leaned forward and took her hand in his. Julia’s eyes widened.

“I know this is hard for you, but already I can see a difference in people’s attitudes. You’re winning them round.” He grimaced then. “I’m sorry that you have to go through this when you’d never have willingly signed up for this life.”

Julia’s face burned. Little did he know that she’d often dreamt of being by his side.

She took back her hand and pushed back her chair. “The car will be waiting.”

Kaden watched her leave the room and cursed himself. He clenched his fist and just stopped himself from bringing it crashing down on the table. He kept thinking about the moment after their wedding, when he’d found her sobbing her heart out. Guilt burned in his gut, compounded now by the way he’d felt when he’d seen that beatific smile lighting up her face. He’d felt jealous that something else could make her happy. Jealous of his own babies!

The moment hadn’t lasted long before she’d withdrawn again to that cool, polite distance which only dissolved when they were in bed.

He didn’t need to be reminded that Julia hadn’t smiled like that once since she’d met him again. As if he didn’t know why. She was stuck in a marriage of convenience with a man who had brutally rejected her when she’d been at her most vulnerable just to protect his own cowardly heart. Julia was humbling him every day with her
innate grace and stoic acceptance of a difficult situation. Of a life she didn’t want.

Kaden knew that he had to be fully honest with her. She deserved to know everything. Later, he vowed. When she got home he would tell her.
Everything
. And whatever her reaction was … he would have to deal with it.

Two hours later Kaden was sitting at his desk listening to his minister for foreign affairs talk, but not taking anything in. He was wondering where Julia was now. Had she reached the fête? Was she feeling awkward? Was she smiling in that slightly fixed way which signified she was shy or uncomfortable? His gut clenched at the thought of anyone being rude or unfriendly to her.

Only last week he’d watched her host another of her coffee mornings, this time outside in the palace grounds. He’d been inordinately proud of the way she’d listened to people, really devoting her time to them. A million miles away from his ex-wife and stepmother who had both been brought up specially schooled to be in this world.

“Sire?”

They’d announced the news of Julia’s pregnancy a few days ago, now that she was showing more obviously, and he was hoping it would have an effect on people’s interaction with her. Surely the prospect of—?

“Sire!”

“Hmm?” Kaden looked at his minister, a little dazed for a moment, and then saw that his secretary was also in the room. He frowned. He hadn’t even noticed her come in. “Yes, Sara?”

He only noticed then that she was deathly pale and
trembling. The hair went up on the back of his neck for no reason.

“Sire, I’m sorry to disturb you, but I’ve just heard—there’s been a terrible multi-vehicle accident on the main freeway to Kazat, where the fête is. We’ve been trying to call your wife and the driver, but there’s no response from them or the bodyguards. We don’t have news yet as the emergency services haven’t reached them.”

Kaden heard her words and tried to react, to move. But it was as if his limbs were instantly weighted down with wet cement. He couldn’t get up. He could feel his blood draining south and put his hands on his desk to hold on to something.

His secretary started crying and the foreign minister stood up. “Sire, I’ll get your car immediately.”

Kaden stood up then, even though he couldn’t feel his own legs, and said with an icy calm which belied the roaring in his brain, “Not the car. Too slow. Get the helicopter ready and make sure there’s a doctor and a paramedic on board.
Now
.”

What felt like aeons later, but what was in fact only thirty minutes, Kaden’s helicopter pilot was setting down in a clearing beside the freeway. All Kaden could see was a tangled mass of vehicles, a school bus on its side, with steam billowing out of its engine, and lines of cars blocking the freeway.

The flashing lights of the first emergency vehicles were evident, and there were people blackened from smoke and fire rushing everywhere. And amongst all that twisted metal and heat was Julia. Kaden’s mind shut down and he went into autopilot. He simply could not contemplate anything beyond the next few seconds.

The blast of heat nearly pushed him backwards
when he got out of the chopper, but Kaden ignored it and waded straight into the carnage. He shouted at the young, scared-looking doctor with him, “Stay beside me!”

All around them people were wandering around looking dazed, with blood running down their faces, holding hands and arms. But to Kaden’s initial and fleeting relief there seemed no serious-looking injuries. He focused on the school bus on its side, and as he went towards it, acting on instinct, he finally saw the Royal car. It was skewed at an angle near the bus, ploughed into the steel girder which ran down the middle of the highway, and near it, on its roof, was the security Jeep.

Kaden’s heart stopped. He ran towards the car, and when he got there, his lungs burning, ducked his head into the back seat. It was empty. He felt sick when he saw the trail of blood that led out of the car.

He stood up.
“Julia!”

Nothing. Panic at full throttle now, he went towards the other side of the school bus and stopped dead in his tracks, a mixture of overwhelming relief and incoherent rage making him dizzy. Julia was handing a small child to her driver, who was in turn handing it to someone else. Adults who looked like teachers were standing in groups with other children, crying. Julia’s kaftan was ripped and bloody.

He went towards her and she saw him. “Oh, Kaden—thank God! Please … you have to help us. There are still some children trapped inside, and the engine is leaking petrol.”

She looked half crazed, which he could see was due to shock and adrenalin, and in the periphery of his vision he could see people standing with phones, taking
videos and photos. Very deliberately he put his hands on Julia’s arms and bodily moved her out of harm’s way. He looked at the doctor and said, “She’s over five months pregnant. If anything happens to her you’ll be held personally responsible.”

Julia protested. “But, Kaden, there are still children—”

He cut her off. “
You
stay here.
I
will go and get the children. If you move one inch, Julia, so help me God I will lock you in the palace for the rest of your life.”

Through a haze of shock and panic Julia could only feel limp with relief as she watched Kaden stride back to the bus, climb up, and reach in to help pull the children out. Within minutes they were all accounted for, and Julia had already instructed the now terrified-looking doctor to go and help the injured children instead of babysitting her. She was helping too, ripping material off her dress to tie around bleeding arms and legs.

She felt herself being lifted upwards and was turned into Kaden’s chest. His eyes burned down into hers. “Are you OK? Are you in pain anywhere?”

Julia shook her head. Some of the shock was starting to wear off, so she was aware of how deranged Kaden looked. She put it down to the accident. “I’m fine. We need to help these people …”

But her words were muffled against Kaden’s chest as he pulled her into him and hugged her so tightly that she couldn’t breathe. Eventually he pulled back. “We’re getting out of here right now. I need to get you to the hospital.”

Julia protested. “I’m fine—what about all these people? The children? They need help more than me!”

But Kaden wasn’t listening. She could see an emergency
medical plane circling overhead, and more choppers landing. The scene was swarming with emergency staff now, and the young doctor was busy.

When she still resisted, Kaden uttered an oath and turned and picked her up into his arms. Julia opened her mouth, but closed it again at the stern set of his features. He looked as if he was going to murder someone, and she felt a pang when she recalled what he’d said to the doctor.
“She’s over five months pregnant …”
He must be livid with her for putting their babies at risk.

She was in the chopper and secured within minutes, and then they were lifting up and away from the mayhem. Julia was comforted to see that the emergency vehicles were already speeding back towards the city, and other choppers were loading up with patients.

Kaden couldn’t speak because of the noise but Julia was glad. She wasn’t looking forward to what he had to say.

“Kaden, why don’t you just spit it out? You’re giving me a headache, pacing around like a bear with a sore head.”

He stopped and glared at her, his jeans and shirt ripped and dusty. “You’re a national hero. Do you know that? With one fell swoop the entire nation is in love with you.”

“What do you mean?” Julia was confused.

Kaden picked up the remote and turned on the TV. A rolling news channel was showing images of the crash, and then it zoomed in on Julia, where she was handing a small child to someone.

She glanced at Kaden. He’d gone grey.

He switched the TV off and muttered thickly, “I can’t even watch that.”

Tears stung Julia’s eyes. “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t just ignore what was happening. I know these babies are important to you, but surely your own people are important too?”

He just looked at her. “What are you talking about?”

Julia put her hand on her bump. She’d just had a scan with Dr Assan and been reassured that all was fine. “The babies. I presume that’s why you’re so angry with me … for putting them in danger?”

Kaden raked a hand through his hair and ground out, “I’m not angry with you for putting the babies in danger. I’m
livid
with you for putting
yourself
in such danger.”

He came close before Julia could fully take in his words and sat down, pulling a chair close to the bed and taking her hands in his with a tight grip. “Do you have any idea what I went through before I got to you?”

Julia shook her head slowly. An ominous fluttering feeling was starting up in her chest.

“I think I aged about fifty years, and made blood promises to several gods. So if some strange-looking person turns up and demands our firstborn baby don’t be surprised.”

“Kaden …” Julia was feeling more shaky now than when she’d been at the crash. “What are you talking about? You’re not making sense.” And yet at the same time he was making a kind of sense she didn’t want to think about.

“What I’m talking about,
habiba
, is the fact that for the longest thirty minutes of my life I didn’t want to go on living if anything had happened to you.”

Feeling suspiciously emotional, and very vulnerable, Julia couldn’t take her eyes off Kaden.

He continued. “I was going to talk to you this evening when you got back … I don’t want to tire you now …”

Concern was etched onto his face, and Julia said fiercely, “I’m fine. Talk.”

Kaden looked down, and then back up at Julia. “I’m not sure where to start … There’s so much I have to say … But I think first I need to tell you the one truth that is more important than anything.”

Julia held her breath as Kaden gripped her hand tighter.