The Candidate (5 page)

Chapter 3

Not her finest hour … Ginny grimaced at the memory as she walked up the stairs to her office. Not at all.

‘How did it go?’ Ange asked as she came in.

‘So-so. They’re so bloody cagey I couldn’t tell. Hopefully, they’ll decide sooner rather than later. Are you around for much longer?’

‘No — I was going to take off pretty soon, if that’s okay?’

‘No worries. I’m interviewing all afternoon.’

Ange screwed up her face. ‘Glad it’s you and not me. See you tomorrow.’

Ginny laughed to herself as Ange left. The woman was a magician at getting through the work thrown at her, but she flatly refused to get more involved with clients or candidates beyond phone calls and emails, or the occasional meet-and-greet.

Ginny fired off an email to Robert thanking him for the opportunity to pitch for his business, then she prepped for the interviews that afternoon. Finishing that, she twirled on her chair, tapped her nails on her desk, and checked her watch. She had a bit of time before her candidate was due to arrive.

Opening her Internet browser, Ginny logged on to Facebook and navigated to Mac’s page. She scanned the posts but there was nothing new. His profile photo was an old one of him grinning his head off and it always made her smile. Logging out, she went to the New Zealand Herald website. If she had some time on her hands, then a quick review of the business section was always sensible for an up-and-coming entrepreneur like herself.

Ginny had been floored when she finally found out what Mac had been up to — and it was Jen MacNamara she had to thank for it.

The days after the funeral were a blur for Ginny. Her father’s burial and the shock of seeing Mac again had left her stunned. If only he’d called first, she might not have reacted so aggressively. She could have revelled in the relief of his company, rather than attacking him for being unable to provide it for longer. Regardless, it didn’t take her long to acknowledge to herself that her behaviour had been unforgivable. She needed to apologise, to make things right between them. He was too important to let go of.

Anxious, yet determined to catch him before he left again, she’d driven over to St Mary’s Bay where his dad and Jen lived. She couldn’t think where else he’d be staying in Auckland and, anyway, they could tell her how to get hold of him if he wasn’t.

Jen MacNamara had met Ginny a few times but she barely recognised her. With dull lank hair, pale face and dark rings under her eyes, the young woman at the front door was a far cry from the vivacious, self-assured person she remembered.

‘Ginny,’ she managed to say. ‘How lovely to see you. Come on in.’ She led her to the large living area at the back of the house and smiled when she heard Ginny’s intake of breath.

‘Yes.’ Jen followed Ginny’s gaze out over the water through the large sliding doors that ran the width of the room. ‘We love the view, too. It sealed the deal for Andrew as soon as he saw it.’ She indicated a horseshoe of couches. ‘I was just about to pop the jug on for a cuppa, if you’ll join me?’

‘That would be lovely, thank you.’

‘I suppose you’re looking for Mac?’ Jen said when she handed Ginny a cup and settled herself down.

‘Is he still here? I mean, in Auckland?’

‘I’m afraid not. He got called back earlier than we had hoped. He left yesterday afternoon.’

‘Do you know when he’ll be back? I really need to talk to him.’

‘We don’t, I’m sorry.’ Jen cleared her throat, unsure of what to say. Mac had been emphatic about the little they could disclose about his new career.

Ginny frowned. ‘Well, do you have a number for him? I only have his old one, and it’s disconnected.’

‘I do, but it’s not much good, I’m afraid. Not until he’s back.’

‘What do you mean? Where’s he gone?’

‘We don’t know, Ginny,’ Jen replied gently.

‘What do you mean?’ Ginny repeated. ‘How can you not know?’

Seeing Ginny’s confusion, Jen felt furious at Mac for putting her in this position. Obviously the girl cared for him and was worried. Mac’s injunction suddenly seemed callous. With a silent sorry to her stepson for breaching his trust, convincing herself she was doing this for him as much as for Ginny, she said,

‘Mac isn’t always particularly good at telling the whole truth, Ginny. He didn’t even tell us what he was up to.’

‘What do you mean? What he was up to?’

Jen went and pulled a photo off the fridge. She handed it to Ginny. ‘He’s joined NZSAS. His ambition was much greater than we gave him credit for.’

Ginny looked at the impromptu shot of Mac, standing casually and laughing off to one side. Sitting next to Ginny, Jen wished again that he’d been facing the camera. It would be good to see what was in his eyes that day.

‘This was taken soon after he was accepted, about nine months after he left that first time.’

‘Nine months?’ Ginny echoed. ‘It took that long? But I thought as he was already in the Reserves …’

Jen shook her head. ‘It’s a whole other thing, Ginny, and very, very hard to get through. He was one of … six? Seven? Out of maybe fifty candidates. The first selection lasts ten days or so, and only when he’d got through that part did he tell us what he was doing. The next stage is very intense, many months of training — and an assessment in itself. This,’ she tapped the photo, ‘was taken after he got through that second stage.’

‘I didn’t have a clue.’ Ginny looked at Jen. ‘I thought he was just going to …’ She frowned. ‘I guess I didn’t really know what.’

‘Don’t give yourself a hard time about that. He’d decided not to tell any of us. He didn’t know if he’d make the cut, or how his dad would react when he found out. They go so deep into it, Ginny; there isn’t a lot of time or room for them outside of this. Mac was very clear with us: he knew it would be hard to keep up much of a life outside of NZSAS — so he didn’t try.’

‘He’s okay then?’

‘Yes, he’s great. He loves it. We don’t see much of him, but when we do — well, he seems as happy as he’s ever been.’

‘Right. Okay then.’

Jen smiled in sympathy. She knew it was hard to take in.

‘I didn’t even know New Zealand had a … um … SAS …’ Ginny said. ‘What is it? Team? Force? Wing?’

Jen laughed. ‘Call it whatever you like, Ginny. And you’re not alone in not knowing much. They’re a secretive bunch, we’ve learnt that much, but it has to be like that. Their identities are kept secret, as is the work they do — whatever it may be. He can’t tell us, and we don’t ask. Most of us have no concept of the world these men operate in. But they’re very good, Ginny. I can tell you that much. Among the world’s best.’

‘That doesn’t necessarily make me feel better.’

Jen watched as Ginny traced a finger over Mac’s face.

‘He looks so happy. He’s shining with it.’

Jen nodded.

‘So you don’t know where he is?’ Ginny continued. ‘When he’ll be back? Is it always like that?’

‘Pretty much. They often don’t know themselves until the last minute. Whether it’s just another exercise, or a real deployment. He certainly can’t give us much advance warning and, anyway, as I said, he doesn’t say much, and we don’t ask.’

‘So … he just leaves, and then … you don’t know when … if … he’ll be back?’

Jen nodded.

‘But that’s horrible,’ Ginny said softly. ‘Terrifying.’

‘I know.’ Jen was touched by Ginny’s concern. She’d been right to tell her. Mac needed a few more people who cared about him in on this little secret. At some stage he’d need help to edge back into a more normal life. ‘We’re scared too, his dad and I, but he’s made his decision. It was a shock finding out, especially for Andrew. It took him some time to accept that what he wants for his son isn’t what Mac wants. Or what’s right for him, either. But, clearly, Mac is following his dream, and we’re proud of that.’

Later, as Ginny was leaving, she handed her business card to Jen. ‘If it isn’t too much to ask, when you hear from him again, can you tell him I’m sorry? Obviously it’s up to him if he wants to get in touch — but I would really appreciate knowing he’s okay. From time to time …’

‘Of course. I’ll let him know you dropped by, and I’ll keep you posted.’

Jen kept her word. She stayed in touch with Ginny, even emailing her after Ginny left for London, and was surprised when a sort of camaraderie developed between them. She let Ginny know as soon as they heard from Mac — either that he was home safely or, the odd time they had advance warning, that he was leaving.

She refrained from telling Ginny how furious Mac had been when Jen confessed she’d told Ginny he was NZSAS. He had raged at her: Ginny had made it very clear he wasn’t wanted in her life and his stepmother had no right to involve her. Jen had raged back. She knew Mac, and he was a proud man, and whatever had happened with Ginny, or hadn’t happened, had injured that pride. Even so, she told him to get over it and stop being so childish. Just because Ginny didn’t want him in her life exactly the way he wanted didn’t give him the excuse to walk away and leave her without an explanation.

He hadn’t liked what his stepmother had to say but Jen was matter-of-fact. MacNamara men had shocking tempers but they calmed down. Eventually.

She’d been right. Mac had calmed down. Back in Auckland a few months after Ginny’s return from London, he sheepishly asked his stepmother for Ginny’s new number. More than a little nervous, he called her straight away and sighed in relief when she agreed immediately to his suggestion they catch up.

They met in the neutral territory of a café. When Ginny threw her arms around him in greeting, he was momentarily breathless.

Laughing, he pulled back and looked at her. ‘God, it’s good to see you.’

‘You too, Mac.’ She hugged him again.

‘How long are you in town for?’ Ginny asked as they settled in.

He leant forward, crossing his arms on the table. ‘Just a couple of days. I’ve been down at Gibson’s, doing a bit of work.’

‘Jen told me about that. It sounds great, what you’re doing down there.’

Mac raised an eyebrow. ‘I heard you two were … friends.’

Ginny laughed at his expression, and the sound was like a favourite song to him.

‘Well, I wouldn’t say we’re drinking buddies but she kept in touch while I was away, and took me out for coffee when I got the business loan.’

‘I heard about that, too. It’s great Ginny, what you’re doing for yourself. I’m really proud of you.’ He saw the blush of pleasure in her cheeks and thought how curious is was that his stepmother had been the intermediary between them. He owed Jen his sincere thanks.

He reached over, flicked her fringe. ‘This is new. Looks good.’

Their coffee arrived and they caught up. The conversation stayed well away from his work; he was both unwilling and unable to say much about how he had spent the intervening years. He could tell her, though, what he was doing to the bach.

‘I’ve found a brilliant builder down there — a young guy just starting out on his own. He’s got a bit of draughting experience, so he picked my brains and came up with some plans. He gets me working when I’m around. It’s really satisfying, and I’m learning a lot.’

‘I’d like to see what you’ve done.’

Mac nodded. ‘I’d like to show you.’

He told her how Gibson’s Bay had become his home port. How the beach and the open sky were a welcome balm for him. The locals were friendly but unobtrusive, and left him to himself unless he wanted it otherwise. No one thought it strange that he came and went, and he appreciated that.

‘Enough about me,’ he said at last. ‘Tell me about this business of yours.’

He watched her as she spoke, her face and hands as expressive as ever. She glowed with her sense of achievement and he smiled to himself. He’d always known she had it in her, but it was something else to see her like this, on the brink of launching out on a venture that was so right for her. He knew how that felt. He reached over and touched her hand.

‘I’m really pleased for you, Ginny. It sounds like you’re onto a real winner.’ He hesitated before speaking again.

‘I see the rock is gone.’

She laughed. ‘Hardly a rock, Mac — more like a piece of shingle. You were right, mate. He was a shithead.’ She held up her left hand, showing the naked ring finger. ‘Vast improvement, don’t you think?’ she said with a smile.

‘Very much, Ginn. It suits you.’

‘Much on for the weekend?’ she asked.

‘Not really. Lunch with Dad and Jen. Other than that, not much. You?’

‘Same. I mean — not much. I’ll go for a run later …’

‘You?’ he asked, incredulous. ‘Running? Since when?’

She swatted a hand at him. ‘Don’t sound so bloody surprised. I picked it up in London. I love it. And I’m good at it.’

‘Well, well, well.’ He leant back in his seat, reevaluating her. She was changing, growing more than what he had perhaps given her credit for. And he was acutely aware he didn’t like that it was happening without him there to see it. But she’d been very clear about where things stood between them, he reminded himself. Crystal clear.

Ginny spooned up the last of her coffee. ‘Do you want to come out with us tonight? To dinner? Madeleine and Paul, and a couple of others? It would be great to have you there.’

When she raised her eyes to his it was the same old kick, the same punch. ‘Sure,’ he replied. ‘I’d love to.’ So much for getting her out of his system. But it was a familiar ache, and anyway, how much damage could be done if he only saw her like this, every year or so, for a coffee and a quick bite to eat?

‘Excellent. They’ll be stoked to see you.’

Mac nodded. The coffee was gone and he felt stuck for words. ‘Where? What time?’

He nodded again when she told him. ‘Yeah, I know it. I’ll meet you there.’

‘Done,’ she smiled, and he smiled back.

As they left, Mac held the door open for her. Standing outside on the footpath he pushed his hands deep into his pockets. ‘Good to see you, Ginny.’

‘You too. And look: I need to say sorry. For how I behaved at Dad’s funeral.’ She looked away. ‘It was good of you to come. And I was rude to you. I’m sorry.’