The Cattleman's Special Delivery (12 page)

And it will wind me into a fever,
Jess thought. But she went anyhow, and it was actually very enjoyable to walk along the rocky floor of the gorge, listening to Reece’s laid-back drawl as he talked about the first inhabitants of this country, and showed her some wonderful Aboriginal handprints on a cave wall.

‘I often think I’d like to open this place up and let more visitors in,’ he said.

‘Tourists?’

He nodded. ‘I’ve fantasised about building accommodation with views down the gorge. People could use canoes or dinghies to explore.’

‘Would you really want strangers tramping all over your land?’

‘Under supervision. It could add a new dimension to life out here.’

It certainly could, and it would counter the loneliness factor. Jess’s head was already running away, imagining exciting possibilities. ‘You’d need a decent cook,’ she said.

Reece’s eyes flashed. ‘I would. Do you know one?’

She was sure he didn’t expect her to answer this. His shirtless state was causing her enough problems without discussing impossible fantasy futures with him.

She hoped she’d calm down again once they were back at the homestead, once she was busy with dinner and the nightly rituals of Rosie’s bath and bedtime. To her dismay, she was still on edge at ten p.m., and she was still thinking far too much about Reece.

She found it impossible to sleep.

* * *

Well after ten, Reece was on the veranda, elbows on the railing, staring out at the moon-dappled paddocks too stirred for sleep. It was impossible when every time he closed his eyes he saw Jess in her bathers, saw her slim, shapely figure, her pale arms and legs, her hair, sleek and wet, the lovely curve of her bum, such a tempting handful.

He’d come out here to switch those thoughts off, but when he heard soft footsteps in the hallway he whirled around, saw a flash of white.

And there she was.

In her nightdress.

Bloody hell.

Ignoring his body’s unhelpful reaction, he took a step towards her. ‘Is everything OK, Jess?’

‘Yes, I’m fine. I couldn’t sleep. I was about to tiptoe down to the kitchen to make a cup of tea.’

But now, instead of continuing sensibly on to the kitchen, she came onto the veranda. Her dark hair was loose and flowing about her shoulders and her long nightdress was made from T-shirt material. In the pale moonlight, her skin looked softer than ever. He could see the lush outline of her breasts, their teasing peaks pushing against the fabric.

Desire thundered through him in rolling waves. He’d been going mad all day, ever since the rock pool. He wasn’t sure he had the strength to resist Jess now. If she came any closer...

She stepped closer.

She lifted her face, and in the moonlight her lips were soft and full and the palest pink. ‘What are you doing out here?’

‘I’m not sleepy either,’ he admitted reluctantly.

She looked up with a tiny smile, and with something else. An awareness. A challenge in her lovely green eyes.

A challenge he couldn’t resist.

When she opened her mouth to say something more, he dipped his head and silenced her with the briefest touch of his lips.

She stilled momentarily, then sighed softly, sweetly, and swayed against him, almost as if her legs had given way. As he increased the pressure and slipped his arms around her she melted into him, her lips opening to him like a flower to the sun.

He couldn’t quite believe he was holding Jess. Holding her and kissing her. At last. He knew this shouldn’t be happening, but she was so sexy and soft and womanly, and willing. And he was burning up with need, driven wild by the taste and smell of her and the slow, sensuous dance of their tongues.

He deepened the kiss, binding her tightly against him, his hands cupping her bottom, holding her where he needed her, her heat to his hardness. And he sensed the wildness running loose in her. Pushing them both to the brink. Oh, God...

He wanted her. Wanted to lose himself in her, but he knew he had to stop.

He must stop.

He’d started this, but he had to stop.

Now.

Before they fell over the edge into madness.

He was trembling as he released her. And then, as they stepped apart, as cool air touched where her silky warmth had been, sanity returned with a chilling rush.

He shot a wary glance to Jess. ‘I apologise. That wasn’t supposed to happen.’

To his surprise she was actually smiling, but when he shook his head her smile faded. Abruptly, she turned from him and leaned on the railing, looking out into the endless stretch of the night. ‘You’re right,’ she said softly.

He almost wished Jess would argue, tell him he was crazy to worry.

Her shoulders were hunched, her face tight. ‘So I suppose we should pretend it didn’t happen.’

He almost snatched her back into his arms. ‘We have to. It’s common sense.’

‘Yes.’

But he also knew that it wasn’t sensible to keep dancing around each other, trying to pretend that they weren’t attracted. They were adults, not silly teenagers.

‘If we were still in Cairns,’ he said gruffly. ‘Or—or damn New York—or anywhere but here, it would be different.’

Lifting her chin, Jess frowned at the stretch of dark countryside rendered invisible by the night. He supposed she must have been wondering why being out here changed the rules.

‘Out here there’s no point in starting anything,’ he said, knowing how inadequate that probably sounded.

He was digging a hole for himself. He should drop this crazy conversation immediately. Walk away. Go to bed.

But he was captured by the sight of her, staring again, out into the night, her hair rippling about her shoulders like dark water.

‘So what are you telling me?’ she asked. ‘That you live like a monk out here?’

He sighed, closed his mind to the memories of his brief, unsatisfactory encounters in recent years.

Now Jess turned to him, and she looked worried. ‘I’m sorry. I assumed you wouldn’t have kissed me if you had a girlfriend.’

He glared down at his hands, white knuckled as he gripped the railing. ‘There’s no girlfriend.’ But then, he felt compelled to set the record straight. ‘I still shouldn’t have kissed you, Jess. I should have shown more respect.’

‘Respect?’ Her eyes widened as she regarded him with a puzzled smile.

‘You’re a newly bereaved widow.’

Now she blushed as she whirled away from him.

Oh, God.

Her face burst into flames. She hadn’t given Alan a thought tonight. She wasn’t sure how long bereavement usually lasted. It wasn’t that she hadn’t grieved for him. Of course, she’d been sad about losing her husband. His death was shocking...and she’d felt a terrible loss, but she’d also been worn down by the reality of their marriage.

Alan had left her with so many problems, and with as many bad memories as good ones. It was hard not to feel resentful now, as if she were still being punished.

She felt a need to explain. ‘To be honest, I don’t feel guilty. My marriage was pretty rocky. Alan and I had problems.’

Reece’s face was grim as he took this in. ‘I’m sorry to hear that.’

Jess thought he might leave then, but he remained there, by her side, leaning on the railing, looking out across the dark paddocks. She wondered what he was thinking.

For her own part, she couldn’t stop thinking about his kiss—the paralysing moment of anticipation, and then the first thrilling touch of his lips to hers, the bliss of being swept into his arms, of being held against him. And then the blaze of longing, the wonderful craziness...

She couldn’t hold back a wistful sigh and when she turned to him and met his steady, dark gaze, she refused to look away. But his eyes were so fiercely intent that she eventually had to look down again.

There was an awkward silence and her heart picked up pace. She knew very well that they had no choice but to forget the kiss. Reece was right. If they’d been in the city they might have had a fling, a bit of harmless fun. But it was pretty hard to have a light-hearted, casual affair when you were stranded in an isolated outback homestead.

She wasn’t sure what she should do now. Stand here bursting with tension? Say goodnight? Go make that cup of tea?

Still uncertain, she pushed away from the railing, but as she did Reece reached for her hand.

His touch sent a streak of fire scorching through her.

And then his fingers closed around hers, sending a second heatwave flashing over her skin.

The tension was electric, but neither of them spoke. It was as if they didn’t want to break the spell with anything as dangerous as words. And then, Reece tugged gently at her hand.

And it was too hard to stay sensible. She was powerless to resist.

Any lingering awkwardness melted. His arms tightened around her, crushing her doubts and questions. She was smiling as he kissed her forehead, melting as his mouth found her cheek, her ear lobe, her chin, then everywhere...

She tilted her head back so he could kiss her throat, and then his lips trailed lower to the neckline of her nightie.

She gasped as his thumbs gently grazed her breasts through the thin fabric.

‘Your room?’ he whispered.

‘Please.’

* * *

Of course it was wonderful, and of course they were pleased with themselves. After weeks of suppressing this need, they could at last lie skin to skin, could at last touch and taste to their hearts’ content.

Jess’s room smelled of cinnamon and vanilla, and they made love on crisp, clean sheets, and she was pleased that she didn’t feel the slightest bit awkward or shy. Reece’s touch sent a happy charge running through her and everything felt natural and perfectly right.

She loved the giving and the taking, loved the sighing and smiling as they soared together and clung together. Till at last, they plunged from a great height.

Together.

* * *

Afterwards.

They lay, limbs loose and relaxed. Sleepy.

‘Wow,’ Jess said softly.

‘Yeah...’ Reece drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. ‘Wow’s the word.’

She smiled broadly in the darkness. ‘And thank goodness Rosie didn’t wake up.’

It was possibly the wrong thing to say. At the mention of the baby, Reece hitched up on one elbow. ‘I guess it’s time I got back to my room.’

She considered asking him to stay. She would love to go to sleep beside him, and to wake beside him. But that was probably asking too much. After all, without actually saying the words, they’d more or less agreed this wasn’t the beginning of a real relationship. Whatever it was, it was casual.

As he rolled from her bed Jess closed her eyes. ‘Goodnight, Reece.’

Even though she knew it must happen, she didn’t want to watch him walk away from her.

The warm pressure of his lips on her forehead was a surprise.

‘’Night, Jess.’

Such a tiny gesture, but after he’d gone she felt so much better.

* * *

In his room, Reece sat on the edge of his bed, staring hard at a faint patch of moonlight on the floorboards, as if somehow it could provide him with answers or reassurance.

I swore that wouldn’t happen.

But, surely, no man in his right mind could turn away from a girl as lovely and tempting as Jess.

Just the same, he wouldn’t allow himself to be totally blown away by tonight. Yes, he was walking on air, but now it was time to throw out an anchor. Time to get real, to accept that nothing that felt this good could last.

Jess might be utterly bewitching, and tonight with her had been far and away the best sex he’d ever known, but now he had to get their fabulous lovemaking into perspective. Had to remember that Jess wasn’t here to stay. She was here primarily to care for his father, and if Michael passed away she’d shoot through.

No question.

Reece was regrettably familiar with this pattern of women leaving, although, in his twenties, he’d been more optimistic about his chances of lasting happiness. Despite the never-forgotten desolation of his mother’s desertion, he’d been confident he would be luckier than his dad.

He’d brought girlfriends home to Warringa. Girls he’d met on city-breaks, or on holidays, girls he’d met at parties, at mates’ weddings, at the races...

Picking up girls had been the easy part, and they’d arrived here bright-eyed and eager, claiming to be in love with his ‘cowboy’ lifestyle. Some had begged to stay on, but their rosy expectations had never been close to reality. Averill had become depressed by the isolation. Rachel couldn’t get on with his dad. Gemma had been bored by the lack of a cinema, or girlfriends to chat and gossip with.

Reece had realised then that when he eventually chose a wife, he’d have to find one among the girls who’d been born and bred in the bush. His needs were quite clear. She didn’t have to be great-looking, but she had to be comfortable around horses and cattle. She had to cope with hard work and isolation, and she had to have a genuine love of the outback life.

In the meantime...

He had to come to terms with having Jess Cassidy here. In his life, close at hand, day in, day out.

And what an enticing but complicated thought that was.

Jess wasn’t a girl he’d met at a party or on a beach holiday. He’d met her here, at Warringa, on a night like no other, the night her husband had died and her baby was born.

A night of incredible emotional connection.

And that was his problem. He cared too much about Jess and her cute baby daughter.

Now it was time to remember that when they left, they would take a sizeable chunk of his heart with them, just as his mother had.

It was a certainty he mustn’t lose sight of.

* * *

Jess was sure she went to sleep with a smile on her face, still in a happy swoon. She didn’t want to overthink this perfect night, so she’d deliberately shut down her thoughts, and she wouldn’t let herself ask questions or worry about it. She simply wanted to relax and absorb this new layer that had been added to the happiness that filled her life now.

As she settled into the pillow she felt more secure and serene than she had in years. Perhaps ever.