The Celestial Kiss (11 page)

All energy sapped, I couldn’t fight off the fuzzy feeling of warmth that closed in on me, falling in like a house of collapsing cards.  My vision drifted between his snarling face and then blessed emptiness.

In my experience, the feeling of teeth cutting through skin had nothing on the headache that greeted me when my eyes finally rolled open.  Surely a knife had been lodged between my eyes, causing my nerves to fire on repeat.  And yet, for all the pain it caused me, I couldn’t bring myself to care.

Though I despised myself for it, I couldn’t shake the despair that lurked in my stomach at James’ revelation that my father had not wanted me.  We had an unconventional relationship, certainly, but he was my father all the same.  He’d protected me the best he could, he’d embraced my presence though it was only a weakness to him.  Despite my unwillingness to believe my father had simply told them to take me with them and get lost, I knew it was true.  And I knew why.

Pride was a damnable aspect in father’s home, one that ironically allowed him to keep everyone in check.  At the slightest injuring of his ego, father would have the offender disposed of in whatever way he felt necessary.  Should anyone dare defy him, they were the next example.  What I did by running away was a slap in his face, a move that reflected negatively upon him.  But the fact that I’d been caught by the enemy—well, I’d set the precedent for him on this one.  After seeing me dragged into the werewolves’ possession, who else would be stupid enough to defy him?

Hate swirled around and within me, threatening to choke me from the inside out, leeching every bit of compassion from my bones.  But the problem was that I didn’t know who to hate.  Xian, for the suffering I’d endured at his hand, that which had ultimately driven me to this point?  Or my father, who’d made an example of his only daughter and rejected his own flesh and blood in favor of the family he’d adopted.  Or James, for biting me and dragging me here, for refusing to let me go, and trying to use my life as nothing more than a poker chip…for putting a time limit on my life.

Though they were all potentially great suspects, I knew that the person I hated the most was myself.  That wasn’t exactly new, since I’d hated myself for the majority of my life.  What
was
new, though, was the way that the hatred boiled over, so that I felt like I was only capable of anger.  That was why I attacked Julius the next time he walked through the door.

He’d barely opened the door before I flung myself at him, nails digging into the skin at the base of his throat, causing him to choke on his surprise.  I didn’t really know what I planned to do with him, but I didn’t have any time to think about it as he grabbed me around the waist and threw me on the bed.  I sprang up on the defensive, but he was only staring at me, his anger a mirror of my own.  Much to my satisfaction, red lines marked his tanned skin where I’d found purchase.

“If it were up to me, I’d dump you on the street and be done with it.”  His voice was a growl; he meant the words.  “Unfortunately for you, nobody has ever given a damn about what I want.  Get up.”

Unwilling to allow him any sort of satisfaction, I stayed still.  “I’m not going anywhere with you.  Do you think I’m stupid?”

“I do, actually.  Because if you weren’t, you wouldn’t question the fact that you’re about to receive the answers you’ve been demanding since you got here.  Let’s go.”

As much as I wanted those answers, I didn’t want them to come from Julius.  I didn’t want anything from him.  I suspected even the truth would be considered too valuable to be wasted upon me.  “I’d rather not.” 

“Well, you know how I said nobody cares what I want?  They care even less about what you want.  Now do you want to come with me, or should I pick you up and drag you?”

My jaw clenched around my irritation, but I stood up and looked at him unhappily.  I would not put it past him to do just that, and it wasn’t exactly an inspiring thought.  “Where are we going?”  I noticed the dark green button up he wore, offset by jeans so as to make him appear only a notch above casual.

Julius offered me no answer, so I grudgingly followed him out of my room and into the labyrinth of the cellars.  He didn’t speak to me as we carved a path through the cramped halls, and it was overtly silent as we crossed from room to room.  I wondered where everyone was…it seemed that nobody lived here, but at dinner there hadn’t been an empty chair. 

Sunlight filtered in through the floor-length window at the end of the hall, illuminating the doors that were tucked away into the walls.  I hadn’t noticed before just how many of them there were.  This place could go on forever…what went on behind those doors?

Finally Julius stopped before one and let himself in.  After a moment of hesitation, I followed him, deciding that if he were taking me to a miserable death, at least it meant that we were about to part ways.  But where I’d expected to enter a room filled with knives and guns and medieval torture devices, this was the polar opposite. 

It was a courtyard. Other than the fact that we were still inside, it was identical to one I would expect outside.  The ceiling was arched high above my head in the center of the room, much like the library James had shown to me the other day, with the same tall arches circling it. The sunlight fell upon everything below it, soft as it prepared to retire.  But where the arches in the library had led to windows, whatever areas the sun couldn’t reach expanded into darkness, seemingly infinitely.  It smelled distinctly warm…like cinnamon or cocoa. 

Vines ran along the walls, snaking out of the flower beds.  And directly beneath the center was a concrete fountain, upon which the king sat, eyes fixed on me.  “Lilith,” The smile that he offered me suggested we were old friends, but I had nothing to say, nor did I have a smile to offer him.  The confusion only made my head ache that much worse.  All the different smells didn’t help.

Julius turned and took his leave, and then it was just me in the cavernous room with the King.  Perhaps I should have curtsied or something, but this wasn’t my king—he was my captor.  And despite the fact that I liked him—or at least didn’t hate him— I was feeling less than gracious.  “I know you must be wondering why I had you brought here.” 

The look on my face should have said it all; I joined him near the fountain, but before I could sit, he stuck his hands out as if he needed assistance.  Only a moment’s hesitation passed before I grabbed his hands in my own and helped him to stand.  I’d grown used to living among the cold-blooded; his touch was warmer than I’d expected—almost feverish.  Whatever illness he suffered from must have produced that effect.

He seemed to know the direction my thoughts were headed.  “My sons think I am much sicker than I am.  Too sick to notice that the three of you disappeared for hours yesterday.”  He cut me an unaffected look.  “What do you think?”

I appraised him—the face that was still similar to his sons’, strong and sculpted bone structure, good symmetry—and yet betraying signs of age and exhaustion.  His eyes conveyed warmth and tolerance, but also wisdom.  He exuded a kind of calm that felt like a trick, the same as his daughter.  My rage seemed a silly thing to cling to in front of him.  “I think you’re smarter than they give you credit for.” My words were spoken with caution, all the while I gauged his expression.

A laugh escaped him.  “You’d be correct.  I know that James thought trying to negotiate with your father was the best thing, and I know Julius put his mind to it.”

The man held my gaze a moment, before turning towards one of the gilded archways and heading into the darkness.  I knew I was meant to follow, and so I did.  As we passed out of the sun’s path it grew colder, but the king seemed not to mind.  “My sons foolishly thought that the path laid out before them—the easy one—was the correct one.  They do not know half the things that I do, and even I don’t understand much.”

I waited for more.  It didn’t come easily, as we walked still in silence for several minutes before reaching a door carved out of a dark, foreign wood—smooth and untouched, and so dark I nearly missed it folded into the corners of blackness.  For the first time since I’d helped him to his feet the king faced me.  His features were clear even in the din of the corridor; sincerity marked the shadows in his eyes and repeated itself in his voice when he spoke.

“This door locks on one side...this side.  It is not a door that is meant to keep people in, but one fashioned to keep others out.”  A shiver passed over my shoulders, as if his words were the removal of a cloak. 
I
was the thing that they meant to keep out.  “On the other side, there exists nothing but tunnel for miles.  It is cold and dank and smells of mold.  But if you follow it far enough, there is light.  There will always be a light.”  He smiled.  “If you should wish to leave, that is a choice I would respect.  But before you do so, I have to implore you to stay, and I have to tell you the truth that my son is too ashamed to say out loud.”

Suspicion hardened my eyes, and I stared at him as if I could glean his motive just by looking hard enough.  My pulse picked up in excitement, simultaneously delighted and terrified at the thought of answers, of freedom, of everything I’d been seeking.  When at last I found my voice hiding somewhere deep in my throat, it was only a single word that I croaked forth.  “Why?”

“More reasons than even I know.”  The sigh that dragged his chest up and then down again seemed to exhaust him.  “But there is one, most selfish reason I would implore you to stay, and I should hope it is not the very one that will drive you away.”  Anticipation held the air in my lungs hostage as I waited for him to continue.  When he did, it was not to say what I had expected.  “Have you ever known true love, Lilith?”

“True love?”  I shook my head, not sure how that had any relevancy.  I’d thought I had known it, but that had been an illusion, well-crafted and meticulously executed.

“You don’t know, then, of the twining of souls?  How each one is split into two entities, and then becomes two separate souls. And, though separate, they are two halves of a whole, needing each other to subsist.”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand where this is going...”

“I should expect not.”  He shook his head, visibly switching gears.  “Our law dictates that one soul-two entities-must rule the throne together.  Man and woman is the typical case, but I imagine other combinations should be entertained one day soon.  The reason being that through the two halves, we may achieve a balance as close to perfection as our Earthly selves will ever get.  In our culture, we have customs.  And as customs generally do, to an outsider such as yourself they may appear very strange.”  The King cocked his head the slightest bit, as if he had heard my heart begin hammering.  My brain had flooded with thoughts of being sacrificed—losing fingers or toes before having my heart carved from my chest.  Those were just a few of the rituals I’d heard the werewolves performed by the firelight.  “I could explain to you the reason behind this custom, but I suspect it won’t hold much water once I reveal it, so that’s something I will save for another day.  For now, I will tell you this—the greatest of oaths offer a physical seal.  They are preserved with a kiss or sworn in blood.  When we fall in love, it is a commitment we make, not only to another person, but to the Creator.  That covenant is sealed with a kiss—a celestial kiss.”

“A celestial kiss?”  I still had no idea what was happening or where this was leading, but the words rolled off my tongue.  In spite of myself, I was intrigued.

“A bite.”  He nodded.  “Much like the one on your shoulder.”  Though the proof of his son’s indiscretion was covered by my hair, his eyes knew the precise spot it was, as if they magically gravitated towards something I couldn’t conceal.  “It forms an unbreakable bond between the souls, anchoring them together through all eternity.”

My eyelids fluttered open and closed a few times in quick succession, as though that would clear the cobwebs in my brain.  I’d very clearly heard his words, but they made no sense, as though he’d spoken them in another language.

“You are bound to James in a way that I fear you may never understand.  And that is not said out of disrespect.  Rather, I think no one will ever understand the true capacity of that action.  Had he killed you in that instant, you’d have never been connected by more than unfortunate circumstance.  But James is not a killer, and you are not what he thought you were.  The moment he decided to bite you, he sealed your fate in one of two options.”

Cold, solid wall held me in place as I sagged, trying to piece together what this all meant, and simultaneously hoping it was not what I suspected.  “Our souls are anchored to one another?”  I finally managed to squeak, afraid of the answer I would receive.  It came as a brief nod.  A laugh bubbled out of me, which I quickly shook off.  “That can’t be.  It doesn’t make any sense.  By your logic, anyone could bite another person—and then what?  They become slaves unto each other?”  The prospect was ridiculous.  “I don’t believe you.”