The Change (Unbounded) (41 page)

With Gaven so seriously wounded, Ritter didn’t dare backtrack to make sure we weren’t being followed. We stayed alert, carefully studying any car that came remotely near. Gaven moaned periodically, and his suffering was so great, I had to shut my mind so I wouldn’t cry with his pain.

Stella talked to Ava on Ritter’s cell phone, unwrapping the bandage on her arm with her free hand as she talked. “No, just a flesh wound. I’m fine now.” In fact, she was no longer bleeding. She injected the site with curequick from the spilled contents of Ritter’s bag. “Gaven needs a doctor, though. Right away. What? You’re kidding!” She listened to Ava a long time before disconnecting.

“The New York group doesn’t want us to take Gaven to their usual medical facility,” Stella told us. “It could be compromised. Besides, both their doctors are dead. Ava says someone will meet us near the hospital and take him to the emergency room with a cover story. I’ll go too, just in case there’s trouble.”

“You can’t,” Gaven said, his eyes fluttering open. “You have the meeting with Halden. Can’t risk the cops getting in the way. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

“And if you’re not?”

“What can you do, watch me die?” He smiled, his teeth white against the black of his skin. “I’m too tough for that. I may even outlive you.”

“Next time get behind me and let me take the bullet,” Stella retorted.

A weak smile filled Gaven’s face. “Make me.”

We all laughed, and I felt something soft and achy in my belly. Their relationship was familiar. It was family. Suddenly I wanted to know Gaven that well—I wanted to know all of them that well. And for them to know me.

We were quiet all the way to the meeting place, two streets over from the hospital, where I was surprised to see Tenika Vasco emerge from her sleek black sedan. This time she was alone. After greeting us with a nod, we moved Gaven to her car.

“Be careful,” Stella said. “We can’t afford to lose you now, not even temporarily.”

Tenika Vasco grinned. “I’m a hypnopath, remember? They’ll believe the suggestions I give them as long as they listen to me long enough.”

“Good.” Stella looked at me. “And to think by day she’s a psychologist.”

I laughed. Hypnosuggestion could be useful in that line of work.

“Wait here five minutes,” Tenika said before driving away. “Someone’s coming for the Hunter.”

Sure enough, a few minutes later, a van pulled up and two Unbounded I didn’t recognize loaded the cowboy inside. Ritter, who had gone to talk to them, touched his fist to each of theirs in farewell.

“Where to now?” he asked Stella when he slid again behind the wheel.

“The hotel. Ava will meet us there. They’ve managed to reschedule the meeting with Halden for tomorrow morning at nine, which means we have less than six hours to secure our position. However, Halden refuses to switch meeting places even though we’ve all but come out and told him the delay is due to an attempt to steal our program. He doesn’t want to change his security plans.”

“He’s a fool,” Ritter muttered.

“Maybe.” Stella looked thoughtfully out of the window. “Why do I have the feeling there’s something we’re overlooking?”

“I’ll make sure everyone’s in place,” Ritter said. “If the Emporium wants to break into our little party, they’ll pay a stiff head charge.” I had no doubt he would enjoy extracting every penny from their flesh.

At the hotel, we found Chris and the kids ensconced in a luxurious suite with two connecting bedrooms. The children were asleep in one, but Chris was dozing on the couch in the sitting room in front of the TV. He came to his feet as we entered and hugged me.

“Good, you’re safe.” His eyes slid past Ritter and focused on Stella, his jaw going lax for the space of a breath or two. I wasn’t surprised at his reaction. I’d felt much the same when I’d met her, and I was heterosexual.

“Chris, this is Stella,” I said. “She’s one of our group.” Our group. It felt good to say.

“Stella Davis.” She offered her hand.

“Chris Radkey.” He held her hand too long, but Stella didn’t seem to mind. Or maybe she was accustomed to drooling men. Chris colored at his own reaction, and I was glad my barriers were up so that I didn’t have to sense his thoughts.

“She knows who you are,” I couldn’t resist saying. “They were watching us for months.”

Chris drew away then, and Stella gave me an unreadable look. Ritter’s lips twitched with something that might have been amusement. He began pacing around the room, and it took a moment to realize he was looking at it not as a hotel room where he could rest, but as a place he might have to defend.

What a life.

Stella yawned prettily, covering her mouth with the back of one hand. “I need a shower.”

“There are two bathrooms,” Chris said. “One through that door and one connecting the bedrooms.” His eyes caught on her unbandaged wound, which looked serious despite its shrinking size. “That’s a pretty bad scrape.”

Stella shrugged. “I gave it a jab of curequick. It’ll be gone by morning.”

Chris blinked at this blatant reminder of who she was. “Well, I’ll go check on the kids. I’m staying in their room with them. I guess you guys can decide who’ll take the other room. Two beds in there, and this couch folds down to a bed.” His gaze went to Ritter as he said this, and then floated back to Stella, as if he couldn’t bear to look away.

This might be a problem. I wanted to remind him that Lorrie had just died, and that at the moment Stella was very married.

I took my brother’s arm, steering him toward the bedroom where he’d indicated the children were sleeping. “You’re tired. Go to sleep.”

“I can’t,” he said, his voice low. “I keep seeing Lorrie every time I shut my eyes.”

“Yes, you can.” I opened my mind to his.
Sleep. You’re so tired.
As forcefully as I could manage, I thought of a nice, comfortable bed with downy pillows and a soft blanket. As close as we were, both physically and emotionally, I hoped some of my pushing would filter through.

He yawned. “Maybe now that you’re back, I can sleep.” Before disappearing into his room, he glanced once more at Stella, who had finished saying something to Ritter and was moving toward the bathroom for her shower. I understood then that it was the vision of life and beauty Chris craved, not necessarily Stella herself. And if seeing her gave him any measure of relief, I’d be happy for him to stare at her all day.

Once again, Ritter and I were alone. I couldn’t help but notice how dim the lights were and how acute my senses felt. I dropped my barriers. No longer were there stray emotions zigzagging around for me to snag from the air like so many nutrients waiting for absorption. Just mine.

I moved toward him, stopping several feet away. We stared at each other. He was dark to me, except for the impression of pulsing behind a black curtain. The exhaustion vanished. My nerves came to life, tingling from my fingertips to deep inside my body.

He took the steps between us and kissed me, his hand resting lightly on my shoulders. I strained toward him, my hands locking around his neck and pulling him closer. His arms came instantly around me. He felt so good, so solid, so real. Knowing that at any moment Ava could buzz the door or Stella could finish her shower added a delicious urgency to our kiss. I tasted his skin, his lips, his tongue. His mouth traveled down my neck, making me tremble. It made no difference that our clothes were dirty and we both needed a shower, or that we were exhausted from such a long and eventful day. This moment, this closeness, was the only thing that mattered.

Not a good idea. But if I was honest with myself, I had wanted this since our first training session.

There was a crack in the dark surrounding Ritter’s mind. I pushed at it and his emotions began leaking, seeping over me. Quickly it grew to a flood, and I reeled at the onslaught. If I’d thought my emotions were powerful, Ritter’s nearly caused me to burst into flames. He wanted to touch me, taste me, everywhere. He wanted to feel my hands on his body, to meld into me. I slid my hands under his shirt and pushed closer to him.

I’d regret this tomorrow. We both would.

He was regretting it already. In his mind I saw the woman in the blue dress, the sightless eyes staring at me. Ritter’s desire for me was trying to suppress these thoughts, but his guilt was building to a deafening clamor in the background. So much loss and guilt. Pain similar to what I’d felt when I’d seen my father and Jace’s prone figures. Like when I’d shot Tom.

Tom.

My mind replayed the event. I saw his surprised stare as my bullet entered his head, the line of blood trickling between his eyes as he crumpled onto the rubble-strewn roof. I saw myself crawling to weep at his side.

With a muttered curse, Ritter stepped away, his hands dropping to his side. “What was that?”

“What?”

“I saw him. You sent it to me.”

My face flushed. “I didn’t mean to.”

“I can’t be Tom.”

“I don’t want Tom.”

Ritter hadn’t moved since breaking away from me, his entire body taut as though ready to do battle. “It’s just a kiss, Erin. It doesn’t mean anything.”

I took a step and placed my hand on his hard chest. He didn’t move away, but he didn’t reach for me, either. “How many women have you kissed like that lately? Has it been years? Decades? Has it been since her? The woman in the blue dress? Did you even kiss
her
that way?”

His expression darkened as he growled, “I can’t give you what you want.”

“How do you know what I want?”

He didn’t answer, so I reached out my mind. His mental shield was back in place, but when he saw my concentration, he gave a smirk and the barrier was gone.

I saw the dark-haired woman screaming in terror as a man slashed at her with a sword. Another man sliced off a young girl’s head with a single blow, an older woman pulling helplessly at his sleeve. The barking of a dog and then sudden silence. More slicing. Swords through flesh. Blood pooling where the blade had gone through the first woman’s neck. More blood slicking the floor where her torso is cut in half. The older woman sprawled beside her, and the young girl, both equally mangled. Gold rings glinted on their fingers—the same rings I felt now under Ritter’s shirt. A sword raised, about to slash down toward Ritter where he lay recovering in bed. A man bursting into the room, sword raised. The others turning to meet him.

The memory vanished, Ritter’s wall solidly in place once again, but I understood what he’d let me see. The only way he would seek a relationship was if there was a future, and the last thing he wanted was a future with someone who really mattered. Someone he could lose.

Ritter had nothing but revenge in his future. Tomorrow he would be back killing Emporium Unbounded, and he would not think about me or our kiss. He would see only the faces of his enemies and of his dead.

My breath was still coming fast, but from anger and frustration now instead of desire. I was silent for long seconds as I fought with myself. What should I say? What did I really want?

“Tell me,” he said, almost casually, the amused glint back in his eyes, “are you ready to have my child? Because that’s what this would mean. If not today, then tomorrow, or the next time we decide to have a little fun.” He bent down and whispered next to my cheek. “There are no second chances. Death, life, or love—Unbounded always play for keeps.”

The heat of his breath made me shiver. Things had been so simple when I was mortal. Now even the act of loving had a lifetime of significance. Rules and consequences.

That didn’t stop me from wanting him.

I clamped down on the longing arcing through my chest and gazed at Ritter through half-lidded eyes. “You’re right,” I said, my voice barely a whisper. “You can’t give me what I want.” I wasn’t going to beg him to love me. If things ever happened between us, he would have to come to me of his own will. With his heart intact and ready for any possibility.

On the other hand, he was right that I wasn’t ready for an Unbounded relationship. Maybe I’d never be ready for any relationship. Maybe living for revenge was the right idea. That way I would never have to deal with another Tom. I would never have to see my children die of old age.

I turned from Ritter and stalked to the door leading to the unoccupied bedroom, leaving it open behind me. The slice of light from the sitting room illuminated the way to one of the two queen beds. Slowly, I stepped out of my clothes and slid under the covers, my bare skin tingling with the coolness of the sheets. I could feel Ritter’s eyes still on me, emotions boiling behind his barriers.

More than anything, I wanted him to join me.

More than anything, I wanted him to leave me the hell alone.

He stood motionless in the outer room for the space of several heartbeats. Finally I heard him leave. It was a long time before I slept.

W
HEN
I
AWOKE THE NEXT
morning, I found I was absorbing without conscious thought. I let the sensation fall over me, feeling energy seep into my limbs. It was far too early for me to be awake, especially on a Sunday, but I felt rested after only a short few hours of sleep.