The Charm Bracelet (21 page)

Holly wondered what else he saw at his friends
’ houses and it broke her heart. A dad, a big apartment, vacations, Xboxes and iPads … Holly sighed. They would just have to make their own memories this year, so what if they were a bit different from the mainstream? So they got their ornaments out of an abandoned box in the back of a thrift store … It would build character and tolerance and a real appreciation for what they could afford.

Danny
had finished watering the tree and sat back next to his mother on the couch.

‘
We need lights,’ he said matter of factly.

Damn, Holly had forgotten about that. Where was she going to get fairy lights at this hour? Then she had a brainwave.

‘Tell you what; we’ll take them off the fire escape.’ They had a whole string of fairy lights they hung on the fire escape every year to make it festive. She would simply crawl out there and get them.

‘But w
hen, Mom?’ her son asked, and she knew he was trying his best not to sound impatient.

She grinned, getting
up from the couch and crossing the small room to her bedroom area. She pulled the window open and the cold air came rushing in.

‘
I’ll make you some tea!’ Danny cried, and ran into the kitchen, as if she were about to embark on a major expedition.

Holly crouched on the fire escape, unwinding the lights
carefully with freezing fingers. ‘Oh, the things we do for Christmas …’ she grumbled good-naturedly.

Once the fairy lights were unwound, she hopped back inside
. Danny met her with hot tea. She handed him the lights and took the warm mug, basking in the steam.

Holly nodded
. ‘Go ahead, you do it – you don’t need me for this bit.’

His eyes brightened as
he immediately began to navigate the tree with the string of lights, trying to figure out how they would look the best. When he was finished, he shut off the main light, and he and Holly sat on the couch and stared transfixed at their newly decorated tree.

‘
Why haven’t we ever had a tree before?’ Danny asked, his youthful face illuminated by the lights.

Holly took a sip of her tea and thought about it. The truth was it had always seemed like a man
’s job. Her father had always done it at home. When Nick left she hadn’t much felt like celebrating Christmas anyway. Then after Danny was born, her mom had swooped in and they were always invited to Queens for holidays.

‘I don’t know,’ she answered.
‘That’s a good question.’

‘Can we do this every year?’ he asked hopefully.
‘Whether we go to Nana’s or not?’

‘
Yes,’ said Holly firmly, ‘we can. Absolutely. I think it’s your best idea yet.’

Danny snuggled
close to her on the couch, and the two of them sat there, happy in the glow of the lights, and each other’s company.

‘Next step, a puppy,’ he grinned, and Holly nudged
him playfully with her elbow.

The following morning began with Holly and Danny walking briskly to his school. Well, Holly was walking briskly; Danny was lagging behind her. She guessed that most kids got that way around this time of year: they knew time off was on the horizon and simply couldn’t bring themselves to bear another day of school.

‘Come on, Danny, you'll be late and I am not writing you an excuse note.’ She ploughed ahead without turning around; she was running late – again – so he would just have to keep up. She heard his grumbling a bit behind her, but when they approached the entrance to the school, he suddenly let out a whoop.

‘Dad?’

Holly felt all the blood rush to her face. There was Nick, bundled up in a puffy coat from The North Face, sitting on the steps of a building next to the school, a cigarette dangling from his lips.

Her heart pounding, she let Danny run ahead of her to give his dad a hug. Nick looked sheepishly at her over Danny's head, which was now buried in the puffy coat.

‘Really Nick, smoking? In front of an elementary school?’ Holly was not going to waste her time with formal hellos.

‘Oh sorry, I forgot.’ He stubbed out the cigarette and gave her the ‘are you happy now?’ look that she hated. It always made her feel like a nagging harpie.

‘So, what brings you here?’ she asked, her tone even.

‘Came to see my son, of course. Hey buddy!’ Nick punched Danny in the shoulder, who beamed widely. He was trying not to, but couldn't help it. Holly sighed, of course he was happy to see his dad; he always was. Problem was, of course, he'd be angry with his dad later when Nick let him down again.

‘Well, he's got to go in now – the bell rang, he'll be late.’ Holly pointed at the lines of children filing into the school building.

‘Aw, does he have to go today? I have a day off … ’ Nick watched her face darken and added quickly, ‘I know, I know, I should have called, I should have, but it was kind of a last-minute thing.’

Danny looked hopefully at his mother.

‘No way, absolutely not. He has tests this week, he can't make them up, he's got to go.’ She softened as she looked down at Danny. ‘Sorry, honey, but you know you've got to go.’

Nick scratched his head, ‘OK, how about after? Can I pick him up after class?’ His voice was getting a little tense.

‘Fine,’ she capitulated, and Danny jumped up and down, grinning.

‘Thanks, Mom!’ He gave her a kiss, and punched his dad in the arm. ‘See you later, three o'clock OK?’

Nick nodded and Danny sped down the street, just making it to the door as it started to close.

Holly studied Nick, trying to figure out where this newfound interest in Danny had come from all of a sudden.

‘What's going on, Nick?’

‘Nothing, just wanted to see Danny – you know, with the holidays and all.’

‘You know, to a ten year old, a birthday is considered a holiday,’ she replied icily.

‘Right, you're still mad about that, huh?’

‘I'm not mad for me, I'm
sad
for Danny.’ Holly started to walk away from him but then changed her mind. ‘And I'm sad for you too, Nick. You have no idea how you are going to be paying for this later, when he gets older and starts putting it all together.’

‘What? That I'm a shitty father?’

Holly pursed her lips and said nothing.

‘OK, I admit it, I'm not the best dad in the world, but I'm gonna try a little harder from now on. Is that OK with you?’

‘Why? Why now I mean?’ Holly knew him well enough to guess she was not getting the whole story.

‘Diana's pregnant.’

She almost felt like laughing at the absurdity of it all. That he was acting as if she actually knew who Diana was, or that he showed up unannounced – not to mention the fact that he was having another kid, which would be bound to have a negative effect on Danny.

Nick rubbed his eyes and Holly could tell he was itching for a cigarette. Against her better judgment she felt a little sorry for him. He had at least admitted he was not a good father.

‘Do you want to walk with me to work and we can talk on the way? I'm going to be late otherwise.’

‘Sure yeah.’ Nick immediately pulled out a cigarette, as she had known he would, and they started walking back up the avenue together. She was about half an inch taller than him in her heels and felt very much like the together, confident woman she had strived so hard to become after leaving him. But instead of feeling powerful over him, now she just found herself feeling sorry for him.

‘So Diana … that’s your girlfriend I take it?’

He grimaced. ‘I didn't tell you about her?’

‘No, Nick, you didn't, and you probably didn’t tell Danny either,’ she chided.

‘Right, I should do that.’ He puffed nervously on his cigarette. ‘Anyway, she's pregnant, and she says unless I can prove to her that I can be a better father to Danny, she wants nothing to do with me.’

Holly felt nauseous. So now Danny was being used so Nick could hang onto his latest girlfriend?

‘Right, well being a better father should probably be done for Danny’s sake before anyone else.’

‘Yeah, that’s what our counsellor said too.’

Holly stopped in the middle of the path. ‘You're seeing a counsellor?’

‘Yeah, can you believe it? She's really got me, this girl.’ He shook his head. ‘Says there's a lot of work to be done … ’ He trailed off and stared at Holly. ‘What?’

She started walking again, ‘Nothing, Nick, nothing at all.’

‘So, I thought, maybe I could try and be more regular in Danny's life, like a real dad would.’

Holly didn't look at him, but let all the thoughts and emotions crowd her brain and her heart. It was great that Nick was in counselling, and kudos to this Diana person for getting him there. But telling Danny he was going to have a little brother or sister? Letting Nick into his life again after he’d screwed up so many times? She didn't realise it but she was instinctively shaking her head.

‘Oh, come on, Holly, don’t be that way, please? I know the odds aren't good with me, but things are different now … ’ he trailed. ‘I swear I’ll do better by Danny from now on. I mean it. Come on, take a chance, roll the dice.’

Holly took a deep breath. They were nearing the store by now. ‘OK, but I'll still have Kate pick up Danny today. You can take him for pizza or whatever, but she'll be there too, OK?’

‘Fine, whatever.’ Nick nodded at her and walked away.

She could tell by his tone that he was annoyed that he was going to be chaperoned later, but what did he expect? He shows up out of the blue and thinks he's going to take over? What if he forgot to pick Danny up? God forbid … Holly shook her head. Lord only knew what can of worms this was going to open. She pulled out her phone before going in the store to text Kate and let her know that Nick would be there later.

Roll the dice
, he’d said.

Holly sighed, looking down at the pair of silver dice on her charm bracelet. She’d heard that one before …

Las Vegas, 2000

Nick raised the taster of Sangiovese to his lips and took a small sip. He swirled it in his mouth for a moment and then looked to the sommelier and nodded.

‘It’s pretty good.’

The sommelier turned to Holly, poured her a glass before filling Nick’s, then placed the bottle on the table and took his leave.

‘So what do you think, babe? Isn’t this spectacular or what?’

Holly smiled nervously. This whole experience was indeed spectacular, but she couldn’t help but feel slightly out of her element. This was her first time in Vegas and she had to admit, everything truly was larger than life. They were here on a ‘work retreat’ or, at least, that’s what Nick and his partners were calling it. In truth, little or no work was being done, and Holly knew that the term was only being loosely batted about so they could write the entire trip off. Nick said that jaunts like this were needed so as to keep morale up, keep the motivation going, but Holly couldn’t help but view it as excess.

Especially the amount of money that Nick was spending.

Yes, the Internet start-up he was working for was absolutely booming, and like Nick said, he deserved to not only work hard, but play hard too. And Holly agreed, to a point. However, she couldn’t get over her discomfort at some of the lavishness of it all.

Then again, maybe she should just go with the flow, and have some fun.

She smiled and looked across the table at the man she’d now been seeing for just over a year. Ever since their first date, they had
really clicked. There was no denying he treated her well, and he had told her openly that he was head over heels in love with her.

‘It is spectacular Nick, all of it. I’m very happy for you.’

He reached across the table and took Holly’s hand in his. ‘Happy for
us
, babe, happy for us. This is about you and me. And it’s going to impact our future. Forever. Don’t forget that.’

Holly had never known a man who talked about ‘the future’ as much as Nick did. Or rather, talked about a future with Holly, specifically. She had to admit that she still got goose bumps every time he alluded to the idea that they were in it together, for the long haul.

‘I know, Nick, it’s all a lot to get used to. I have to be honest, I’ve never drunk wine from a bottle that costs over two hundred dollars before,’ she said, and then bit her lip, raising a hand to tug at the top of the strapless Versace that Nick had insisted on buying earlier. Holly had planned on wearing the pretty twenties flapper dress she had packed, but he’d insisted she was deserving of something new, rather than something that had already been worn by ‘someone else’.

Actually, Holly thought the vintage dress to be quite lovely, but she went along with the Versace even though the price tag made her feel slightly nauseous; now she was just terrified of spilling something on it.

‘Babe, don’t fidget, you look beautiful,’ Nick reassured her, before taking another drink and refilling his glass.

Holly put her hands in her lap and sat up a little straighter.

‘I’m sorry, Nick, I didn’t mean to fidget. This all is really wonderful. I suppose maybe I’m just a little nervous.’

‘Well, let me be the first to tell you that you look ravishing when you’re nervous. So, what do you think of the hotel?’

They were staying at The Mandalay Bay, one of the hottest hotels on the strip, and Holly was still marvelling over the size of their suite. ‘It’s beautiful of course. And our suite … well, I’ve never been in a hotel room so big,’ Holly joked. ‘I think I could probably fit my apartment in it several times. So what’s planned for tonight after dinner? There are several shows that look really great,’ she continued, as their appetisers arrived. She looked at Nick’s choice of escargot and cringed. She didn’t consider herself a picky eater, but at the end of the day, these were snails.

Nick shrugged and used the tiny seafood fork to pop a snail into his mouth. ‘I just figured that we would see how the night goes. Pete and Mack were talking about hitting up the craps table, and maybe checking out this club that just opened up –
 I think it was at MGM.’

Holly nodded and fought back a grimace. She loved to dance as much as the next girl, but that’s exactly what they had done last night. Plus, as much as she liked the others, she honestly thought that maybe she and Nick could have a night alone, without Pete and Mack and their respective girlfriends.

‘Not sure I’m up for that tonight. Maybe you and I could do something alone?’

Nick’s face fell. ‘So you just want to go back to the room after dinner?’
              Holly shook her head. ‘No, no, nothing like that. I’m not a stick-in-the-mud. I just thought that maybe tonight could be about us, you and me. Maybe we can find a nice cocktail lounge, listen to some music, drink some champagne, and then take advantage of that Jacuzzi in our suite.’

Nick’s face lit up and he rose ever so briefly from his chair and leaned across the table to kiss her. ‘You know what? That sounds ideal. I’ll tell the guys that we pass.’ He quickly pulled out his mobile phone and began dialling. Holly sat back in her chair and looked around nervously. Personally, she hated it when people talked on their phones, especially in fancy restaurants.

‘Nick,’ she called out under her breath. ‘Not in the restaurant.’ He held up a finger to her; he was already talking to Pete.

She felt her cheeks flush red as a woman at the next table looked in their direction and shook her head, whispering something pointed to her dinner companion.

Holly sighed. She knew Nick’s heart was in the right place, but really she didn’t understand why he couldn’t have got up and left the restaurant to make the call. Certainly it wasn’t the first time it had happened, and he knew it got on her nerves, but insisted that technology didn’t wait and instant information was the way of the future. But Holly didn’t see why ‘instant information’ couldn’t get some manners.

‘So where were we?’ Nick said, and Holly turned to meet his eyes. Except they weren’t on her. They were focused on a long red velvet box that had suddenly appeared on the table.

‘What’s this?’ she asked, surprised.

‘Why don’t you open it and find out?’

Holly reached for the box with shaking hands. She knew it wasn’t a ring box, so this wasn’t a proposal, but it was definitely jewellery. And she knew enough about that shade of red to know this particular box had come from Cartier.

Holding her breath, she opened the lid. Inside was one of the most spectacular diamond bracelets that she had ever seen. Her breath caught in her throat.

‘Oh my goodness … Nick, oh you shouldn’t have.’

Nick smiled happily as he reached for the box and removed the bracelet from within. He then left his seat and came around the table to place it on her wrist.

‘Here, put it on. A beautiful dress like that deserves beautiful jewellery. Take off that other bracelet.’

Holly froze when she realised what he was talking about. ‘My charm bracelet?’

‘Yeah, come on, it doesn’t go with the dress. This does. I figured you needed something fancier than that thing.’

That
thing
was the bracelet that Holly had worn every single day since her father’s funeral when she was sixteen years old. She’d barely taken it off since and couldn’t comprehend doing so now.

She paused, a worried expression on her face.

‘Holly, really, this bracelet was made for that dress. It’s in a totally different league to that one.’

She swallowed hard, feeling as if her heart might break; even though she knew that she would only have to remove her charm bracelet for a couple of hours while she wore the Cartier substitute. She paused, deciding she was being silly.

‘Well … ’ Reluctantly, she undid the clasp and placed her beloved charm bracelet in her evening bag, double-checking to make sure the clasp was securely closed, and it wouldn’t open and the bracelet couldn’t fall out.

The moment her hands were free, Nick put on the new one and, as he did, Holly felt a sudden surge of irrational panic.

‘There, look at that, it’s beautiful,’ he said in admiration, as he took his seat across from her again. ‘What do you think?’

Holly glanced down at the bracelet. She had to admit it was truly a stunning piece of jewellery. She had never owned anything like this, yet the sheer heft of the piece made her arm feel heavy and weighed down. The complete opposite to the reassuring jingle of her charm bracelet.

‘It’s really lovely, Nick,’ she managed, absently. ‘Thank you.’

Nick studied her face. ‘You don’t look very happy, babe. I hope you’re not disappointed.’

Holly’s head sprang up and she looked at Nick, confused. ‘Disappointed? Why would I be disappointed?’

He shrugged and placed his napkin back in his lap. ‘Well, you know, guy brings out a jewellery box … Some women get upset if it’s not a
ring
box.’

‘Oh no, that’s not it at all.’ Truthfully, Holly wasn’t feeling upset at all about that; she was just feeling all out of kilter because she wasn’t wearing her bracelet, her talisman.

‘Anyway, I just thought that maybe you might like something to remember this trip by,’ Nick said, shrugging, evidently put out at her reaction to his extravagance.

Holly smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes, and Nick seemed to take this as another sign that she was truly disappointed that he hadn’t given her a ring.

‘Babe, you know I love you, but there is just so much happening right now. And, well, don’t you think that we have other stuff to do before deciding to get married? Really, we are watching this company take off, all this stuff happening, and that needs pretty much all of my focus and attention. Besides,’ he added, his expression lightening, ‘don’t you think that maybe … ’ He cleared his throat. ‘Maybe we should live together first?’

Holly’s eyes widened. They had never before talked about anything like this.

‘Are you serious?’

Nick threw his arms wide. ‘Would I have mentioned it if I wasn’t? Yeah, I think that maybe the time is right; we should take the chance. We could get a bigger place – my lease is up soon, and I know you just signed a new one on the walk-up, but maybe we could sublet yours. How does that sound?’ The smile that was already on Nick’s face got turned up a notch and Holly got an idea of how he wooed his clients.

She couldn’t help but laugh.

‘You’re really serious, aren’t you?’

‘Of course, honey, when have I ever played with you? It’s you and me, OK? You and me. So let’s do it. Let’s move in together.’

She took a deep breath, her head spinning at this sudden shift in the direction of their relationship. ‘It’s a big move, Nick. I’ve never lived with anyone, I mean, a guy, before.’

‘And I’ve never lived with a girl either. Come on, Holly, take a chance. As they say in Vegas, roll the dice.’

Holly took a deep breath and then vigorously nodded her head. His enthusiasm (and possibly the fact that they were in a city known the world over for gambling) was infectious. ‘OK then yes, let’s do it,’ she grinned.

‘That’s my girl. This calls for champagne. Come on, let’s go celebrate!’

Minutes later, Holly and Nick were rushing hand-in-hand through the expanse of the casino, laughing like children. Holly wasn’t sure if her giddiness was due to the wine, the recent development in their relationship, or if it was a combination of both.

As they passed a gift shop, she came to a stop. ‘Hey Nick, hold on just for a second OK? I’m just going to run in here.’

He was slightly ahead of her. ‘No problem. The cocktail lounge is just up here, I’ll go in and order the champagne.’

‘Great.’ Holly walked into the gift shop, well aware that her Versace dress and Cartier bracelet looked sorely out of place amongst the ‘Vegas Vacation’ souvenirs and knick-knacks. She found her way to a jewellery case that contained myriad trinkets and baubles of every shape and size. Briefly looking inside, she found exactly the thing to commemorate such an occasion.

Peering down into the glass case at a selection of silver Vegas-themed charms, she asked the clerk to remove one in particular. A set of dice.

She paid for her purchase, slipping the small charm into her evening bag alongside her bracelet, reflecting that Nick could have saved a lot of money if he had just thought of a charm as a souvenir of their time here as opposed to the Cartier bracelet.

And as Holly headed to the lounge where Nick waited for her with a bottle of champagne, a new thought occurred to her, a much more troubling one, and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up.

Roll the dice …
he had said.

Could it be that Nick was reducing their relationship to a simple game of chance? And what’s more, Holly thought regretfully, hadn’t she just agreed with him?

Greg packed up his camera and some film and loaded himself and his kit bag onto his bike. Billy from the
NYT
had very kindly thrown him another bone – this one with the New York Historical Society of which his wife was curator.