The Christmas Genie (6 page)

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Authors: Dan Gutman,Dan Santat

BOOK: The Christmas Genie
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WISH #6:
I WISH KIDS HAD THE RIGHT TO VOTE.

“That one was mine,” said Olivia, who sits behind me. “I think it is totally unfair that we can't vote on Election Day.”

“It's about time somebody made a
serious
wish,” said Mrs. Walters.

“Olivia's right,” said Elizabeth. “There are something like fifty million kids in this country. We make up a big percentage of the population, and grown-ups are always saying
we
are the future. A lot of decisions have a big impact on us.
And yet we have no say in how things are run. It's not fair.”

“Remember that famous slogan they used in the Revolutionary War?” Mrs. Walters asked us. “We studied it last week.”

“Give me liberty or give me death!” yelled Anthony.

“No, not that one,” said Mrs. Walters.

“No taxation without representation,” said Ava, all proud of herself.

“Yes, that one,” said Mrs. Walters.

“Kids don't pay taxes,” Ethan pointed out.

“Sure we do,” Abigail said. “Every time I buy clothes or something at the mall, they add tax to the price.”

“Well, you know, there's a perfectly good reason why kids can't vote,” said Hannah.

“Why?” everybody asked.

“We don't
know
enough,” Hannah said. “Do any of you read the papers or watch the news on TV?”

Elizabeth was the only one who raised her hand.

“See?” Hannah said. “How would kids know who to vote for?”

“Hey, not all grown-ups read the paper or
watch the news,” said Ella. “There are millions of uninformed grown-ups, and
they
have the right to vote.”

“Yeah,” a few kids grumbled.

“What are they gonna do, say people can only vote if they follow the news?” asked William. “People can only vote if they're smart?”

“If kids were allowed to vote, you know who would be president of the United States?” asked Alex. “Miley Cyrus. Or Rihanna. Or the lead singer of some dumb boy band.”

“I would vote for the quarterback of the Bears,” Jacob said. “He would make a great president.”

“See what I mean?” said Alex. “It would just be a big popularity contest.”

“That's what elections are
anyway
,” Hannah said. “Popularity contests. They're like
American Idol
, without the singing.”

“I wouldn't want to vote
anyway
,” said Christopher. “If we don't vote, they can't blame us for stuff that goes wrong.”

“That's not a good attitude, Christopher,” said Mrs. Walters. “Every citizen should vote.”

“What's the big deal about voting?” Christopher said. “My dad told me that all
politicians are liars. If you want to wish for something we aren't allowed to do, let's wish we could
drive
.”

“That would be cool,” David said.

“If I could drive, man, I would go a hundred miles an hour in my Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder,” said Christopher. “Nobody would beat me.”

“That's exactly why they don't let us drive,” Ella said. “Because kids like you would go racing, get into accidents, and kill people.”

“I would not!” Christopher insisted.

“You would too!” said Ella.

“All right, settle down everyone,” Mrs. Walters said. “Let's move on, shall we? We're wasting valuable time.”

WISH #7:
I WISH FOR A CLASS OF STUDENTS WHO ARE PERFECT ANGELS AND NEVER ARGUE OR ACT DISRESPECTFULLY.

“Hey, who made
that
dumb wish?” Logan asked.

“That one was mine, actually,” Mrs. Walters said. “I thought I would throw it in for the heck of it.”

“We want to wish for something
cool
,” William said, and everybody agreed.

“That one doesn't count,” Christopher said.

“Oh, well, at least I tried,” Mrs. Walters said as she reached into the bowl and pulled out another index card.

WISH #7:
I WISH I COULD SLOW DOWN THE ROTATION OF THE EARTH.

“That's the dumbest thing I ever heard!” Logan exclaimed. “Who came up with that lame idea?”

“Let's be respectful of one another's wishes, please,” Mrs. Walters warned Logan.

“That was
my
wish,” said Natalie.

“Figures,” Logan muttered.

Natalie is famous around school for thinking up weird stuff that doesn't exactly make sense. Like, one time we had a social studies test and instead of using a yellow marker to highlight all
the important parts of the book, Natalie took a black marker to hide all the
unimportant
parts. She's either crazy or a genius. Maybe both.

“Tell us your thinking, Natalie,” asked Mrs. Walters.

“Well, I figured that if we wished for money or some material object, we would just fight over who gets to keep it,” Natalie explained. “But there's one thing that everybody wishes they had more of—time. There are only twenty-four hours in a day, right? And there are only three hundred sixty-five days in a year. But if the Earth rotated more slowly, or if it took longer to make a revolution around the sun, we would have more time.”

“You're nuts,” said Logan.

“Logan!” said Mrs. Walters.

“Actually, it makes sense,” Ella said. “If a day was thirty hours long instead of twenty-four, we would have six more hours than we do now. That would mean six more hours to play, go online, hang out with your friends, or do anything you wanted to do.”

“Six more hours to play ball!” said Jacob.

“Six more hours to shop!” said Abigail.

“It would also mean six more hours that our
parents could tell us to do chores around the house,” Mia said, “or six more hours of homework.”

“Six more hours we'd have to go to school,” said Logan.

“Maybe it would be six more hours to sleep,” Ella said. “I mean, we're still going to get tired, no matter how many hours there are in the day.”

“I don't want to sleep more hours,” Alyssa said. “I like things the way they are.”

“Well, you could use the six hours any way you want,” Natalie told Alyssa. “That's the beauty of it.”

“I wish I
never
had to go to sleep,” said Jacob. “I would play ball twenty-four/seven.”

“If Natalie got her wish, we'd have to replace all our watches and clocks,” Ella pointed out.

“If the Earth rotated more slowly, wouldn't it affect the weather and stuff?” asked Mia. “Like, the sun would be shining on the surface longer during the day, and nighttime would be longer too. So days would be hotter, and nights colder. Right, Mrs. Walters?”

“It makes sense,” she replied.

“It might mess up the tides, too,” Ashley said.

“And eclipses . . . communication satellites . . . cell phones . . . satellite TV . . .”

“Don't animals rely on astronomy to know when to migrate and hibernate and stuff?” Isabella asked. “They would get confused.”

“Boo-hoo,” said Logan. “We should worry about a bunch of confused animals?”

“Isn't it possible that if the Earth rotated more slowly, it could fall off its axis?” asked Mia. “Like a bicycle that stops rolling. Or it might fall out of its orbit around the sun and end up in another galaxy.”

“That would be cool,” David said.

“We could be messing with the entire space-time continuum!” exclaimed Ashley.

“I
told
you it was the dumbest wish I ever heard,” Logan said.

“I hate to say it, but for once, Logan, you're right,” Natalie said. “I respectfully withdraw the wish.”

Genie Bob rolled his eyes. “This is gonna be a long day,” he groaned.

Mrs. Walters reached into the bowl.

WISH #8:
I WISH I COULD HAVE A GIGANTIC, FLAT-SCREEN, HIGH-DEFINITION TV THAT FILLS UP A WHOLE WALL IN MY ROOM.

“That would be cool,” David said. “That's why I wished for it.”

“It would be great to watch football games on a TV like that,” said Jacob.

“How would you get it through the door?” asked Ella.

“Good point, Ella,” said Mrs. Walters.

“You couldn't,” David said. “It would have to be assembled inside my room.”

“They don't even
make
TVs like that,” Alyssa said.

“So what?” David replied. “It's a wish, right? I can wish for
anything
, even stuff that doesn't exist today.”

“In that case,” Natalie said, “why not wish for a room where the wall can disappear temporarily so you can bring the TV in, and then the wall can reappear afterward? Or how about a TV set that can go
through
walls?”

“You're nuts,” said Logan, shaking his head.

“Logan!” said Mrs. Walters.

“Why not just wish for a movie theater in your house?” Ethan suggested. “Problem solved.”

“I would be happy if I could just have a
regular
TV in my room,” said Alyssa. “My parents won't let me.”

“You should wish for new parents,” Alex suggested.

“I would rather have my own amusement park than my own movie theater,” William said.

“This is the same old story,” said Hannah.

“One kid wishes for something for himself, and everybody else gets nothing. That's not fair.”

“You could come over to my house to watch my awesome TV,” David said.

“Gee, thanks!” said Hannah sarcastically.

“That's selfish,” said Elizabeth. “I think we should wish for something
all
of us could enjoy instead of just one person.”

“You kids are breakin' my heart,” said Bob the genie.

“Okay,” David said, “then let's wish for a big-screen TV for everybody in the class.”

“I don't
want
a big-screen TV!” said Hannah.

“Anybody who wouldn't want a big-screen TV has mental problems,” Logan said.

“Logan!” said Mrs. Walters. “Be respectful of other people's opinions.”

“I really don't care how big my TV screen is,” said Hannah. “What's important is the
content
of what you watch, not the size of the screen. Which would you rather watch, a bad TV show on a huge screen, or a great TV show on a little screen?”

“If a TV show is bad, I wouldn't want to watch it at
all
,” said Anthony. “It doesn't matter how big the screen is.”

“That's my point,” said Hannah.

“I'm perfectly happy watching a TV show on my new iPod,” said Abigail, who clearly wanted everybody to know she got a new iPod.

“The problem with a big-screen TV is that it makes
everything
bigger,” said Ella. “That includes the bad stuff too. Like if somebody on TV has a big mole on their face or a weird-looking nose, it looks even weirder when it's five feet tall.”

“That's why you don't see any weird-looking people on TV,” said Madison.

“And that's why everybody on TV has plastic surgery,” Abigail said.

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