The Christmas Proposition (8 page)

Derek took a sip of hot cocoa and waited for her to continue. For several seconds all he heard was the beating of his own heart. “So what’s the problem?”

“You told me you were spending this time in Jackson Hole to figure out why you keep falling in love with the wrong women.” Her tone was suddenly school-teacher firm, the voice of the mother from his childhood. “And what happened to your six-month moratorium on dating?”

Even though Derek sat quite comfortably on the overstuffed leather sofa, he felt as if his back had just been shoved against the wall. He resisted the urge to lash out. To shout that how he lived his life was none of her business. But he remained silent. And in control of his temper.

This was her birthday. She was his mother. Of course she was concerned. And in his heart, he knew she only wanted the best for him. However, that didn’t mean he was going to let her rebuke him like one of her former students.

“We both know I had good reasons for ending those engagements.” Derek placed his cup on the end table and stood, moving to the window to stare unseeing at the snow-covered trees. “There was no way I could have predicted that Jenna would refuse to leave Minnesota when the Angels drafted me.”

“You dated your entire senior year of college,” his mother pointed out. “I still can’t believe you’d never
talked about what would happen if you got a good draft offer.”

Actually, he’d talked a lot about his draft hopes. Jenna had never said a peep about not wanting to move. Only later did she confide she’d assumed he wouldn’t get drafted. While he’d been dreaming of a life in the major leagues, she’d been planning on making a home in Edina, close to her parents.

She hadn’t been willing to make any concessions.

But then, neither had he.

“We were too young,” he said. Then, because that sounded like a cop-out, he added, “
I
was too young.”

“That excuse doesn’t work for you and Heather,” his mom not-so-gently reminded him. “Twenty-five was old enough to know better.”

Losing Heather had hurt. When he’d first met her she’d just broken up with her longtime boyfriend. Still, the knowledge that she was on the rebound hadn’t stopped Derek from falling hard and fast.

Three months after their first date he’d asked her to become his wife. She’d happily agreed. The wedding announcements had already been mailed when Heather had come to him and confessed she wasn’t in love with him. They’d called off the wedding and she’d married her ex-boyfriend six months later.

At the time the news had sent him reeling.

“I loved Heather,” Derek said, amazed that the loss no longer hurt as it once did. “The problem was, she didn’t love me.”

“You rushed into that relationship,” his mother pointed out.

“I didn’t do that with Niki,” he said. “We’d been
dating over a year and I was in no hurry to nail things down. I only asked her to marry me because she told me she was pregnant. What was I supposed to do when I discovered she’d made it up? Marry her anyway?”

His voice had a bite to it but doggonit, if anyone should understand, it should be his own mother.

“Honey, I know your heart was in the right place.” Her tone gentled. “What worries me now is the affection I already hear in your voice for this woman and the child.”

“You don’t need to worry. I can take care of myself.”

“I don’t doubt that. But you’re a romantic. You’ve always wanted a wife and family. This woman and child may seem to be what you’ve been looking—”

“Mom,”
Derek interrupted, knowing this was one lecture she didn’t need to give. “Let me put this another way. You don’t need to worry because nothing is going to happen between Rachel and me.”

“How can you be so sure?” Even from two thousand miles away, her skepticism came through loud and clear.

“Because Rachel made it perfectly clear she doesn’t want to see me again.”

D
erek rounded the corner of a grocery store aisle and pulled his cart to a dead stop. At the far end of the long aisle, Rachel and Mickie stood, intently focused on the shelves in front of them. For a split second, he was tempted to back up and immediately head to the checkout. But he rejected the impulse. He wasn’t a coward. Besides, it was good to see Rachel, to see them both.

He wheeled his cart purposefully down the aisle. When he was about five feet away, Mickie turned in his direction.

She shrieked his name and ran to him, slamming into him with a force that would have done an NFL tackle proud. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you, too.” Until this moment he hadn’t quite realized how much. Derek awkwardly patted the top of her curly head, then put his hands on her shoulders and held her at arm’s length. “Let me look at you.”

Although the child was dressed as usual in jeans and a long-sleeved cotton shirt, she seemed different than the first time he’d seen her. Spending time with Rachel had been good for her. She appeared happy, not worried or stressed. She looked, he decided, like a typical ten-year-old grocery shopping with her mom.

Conscious of Rachel’s eyes on him, Derek kept his attention focused on Mickie a few seconds longer. “I swear you’ve grown six inches since I last saw you.”

Mickie giggled, the sound echoing in the large, mostly empty store. “You just saw me two days ago.”

Had it really been only forty-eight hours?

“We’re picking out stuff to make tacos tonight,” Mickie said. “Do you like tacos? Maybe you could—”

“Mickie. Stop.” Rachel’s tone was soft but firm. She shifted her gaze. When those blue eyes met his, a jolt of awareness shot through him.

“Hello, Rachel.” He let his gaze linger. She wore the parka he liked, the one that made her eyes look the color of the sky. Her hair was pulled back into a low ponytail and, unless he was mistaken, she didn’t appear to be wearing any makeup. She’d never been more lovely.

“Hi, Derek. What brings you to Super Saver at this hour of the morning?” Her polite tone was one usually reserved for strangers or very casual acquaintances.

“Empty refrigerator.” He chuckled, trying to defuse the tension. The death grip she had on a package of flour tortillas told him she felt uncomfortable. There was no reason for her to feel that way. Derek understood that she was still hung up on her dead husband and worried he wanted more than she could give. The funny thing
was he wasn’t looking for a relationship with her. Or anyone.

But he
would
like to be her friend. He briefly considered telling her just that, but Mickie stood there listening intently to every word, just like she had the other morning.

“Hey, Mr. All-Star.”

Derek turned and Ron walked up, carrying a carton of orange juice in one hand and a package of bacon in the other.

“Didn’t expect to see anyone I knew this morning.” The older man widened his smile to include Rachel and Mickie. “You three together?”

“Actually, I’m shocked to see both of you here.”

Rachel brushed a strand of hair back from her face with a self-conscious gesture. “Teaches me to leave home without makeup.”

“I think you look beautiful,” Ron said gallantly. “Doesn’t she, Derek?”

“Very nice.” Derek knew that was an understatement, but the way things were between them, less seemed more appropriate.

Rachel ducked her head for a second and her cheeks darkened to a becoming dusky rose color. Then she lifted her gaze. “Well, on that high note, Mickie and I are headed to the checkout.”

Mickie made a sound of protest.

Derek gave her a wink. “See you around, kid.”

“Really?” Mickie’s eyes lit up.

“Jackson Hole isn’t that big,” Derek said. “I have no doubt our paths will cross again.”

When he caught the expression in the child’s eyes,
he vowed that if he didn’t run into her again by the time he was ready to leave town, he’d look her up just to say goodbye.

“I’ll make sure of it,” he said. Just because Rachel didn’t want to see him didn’t mean he would desert Mickie.

Derek watched Rachel and Mickie take their cart and head to the cash registers at the front of the store, a knot in the pit of his stomach.

“I didn’t mean to make ’em rush off.” Ron frowned. “Especially since you’re the first man Rachel has taken a shine to since her husband died.”

“She doesn’t like me,” Derek said, shocked at the disappointed tone in his voice. “At least not in that way. You saw her. She couldn’t wait to get away.”

A hint of bitterness underscored his words. Okay, so maybe her going cold on him had hurt. A little.

“Son.” Ron chuckled and shook his head. “I’ve been around a long time. I saw the look in her eyes. She’s definitely interested, but something’s got her spooked.”

“Yeah, right,” Derek scoffed.

Rachel afraid? She was the strongest woman he knew.

“Mark my word. One of these days she’s going to get up the nerve to overcome whatever is holding her back. That’s when she’ll reach out to you.” Under the fluorescent lights, Ron’s eyes were dark, his expression completely serious. “And when she reaches out, if you care at all, don’t hesitate. Because you may not get another chance.”

The rustic ski lodge had been decorated for the holidays with wreaths and trees blazing with lights. But the
festive scene didn’t lift Mickie’s spirits. Neither did the macaroni and cheese on her plate.

After a morning of tossing snowballs at Addie and falling down on the ski slopes, Mickie should have looked forward to lunch. But she wasn’t hungry. Not even for her favorite meal.

She couldn’t stop thinking about Mr. Rossi. She’d been so happy to see him at Super Saver. He’d seemed happy to see her, too. Then Rachel had ruined everything. Barbie would have never been so mean to Ken. That was why Barbie and Ken were together. And Rachel and Mr. Rossi were…not.

All morning Mickie had hidden her sadness from Rachel. When Addie had asked if she and Mickie could eat together by the giant fireplace, Mickie could have cheered. With Addie she didn’t have to pretend she wasn’t angry and so very sad.

Fortunately Rachel had run into a girlfriend from the hospital who’d accepted her invitation to lunch.

“Rachel barely talked to Mr. Rossi.” Mickie pushed the cheesy noodles around on her plate, fighting back tears.

Although Addie appeared to be listening, she didn’t immediately respond. Instead, she took a bite out of her humongous cheeseburger and chewed and chewed.

“I think he felt funny,” Mickie said when Addie finally swallowed.

Addie’s head cocked. “Funny?”

Mickie glanced at the table by the window where Rachel sat talking to her friend. “Before we left Mr. Rossi’s house Monday morning I heard Rachel tell him she thought it ‘best’ if they didn’t see each other again.”

“Grown-ups do crazy things.” Addie dipped a french fry into a cup of ketchup. “But Rachel likes Mr. Rossi. You said so yourself.”

Mickie twisted her lips. “I thought she did. But you should have seen her at the grocery store this morning. She barely talked to him.”

“Things will be better tomorrow.”

Mickie stopped smashing the macaroni with her fork and met Addie’s gaze. “How can you say that? You don’t know.”

“I know that everyone is getting together at Mrs. Vaughn’s house to make Christmas candy.” Addie shoved a fry dripping with ketchup into her mouth. “There’s always lots of talking at those things. Trust me, they’ll tell her she’s crazy to not be with a nice guy like Mr. Rossi.”

Mickie’s heart skipped a beat. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

The lump in Mickie’s throat began to dissolve. “What if they don’t convince her?”

“Then we’ll figure something out. Failure—” Addie leaned across the table as if her plate of burger and fries weren’t there “—isn’t an option.”

Mickie liked the sound of that and she liked the confidence in her friend’s voice. For the first time in days, she let out the breath she’d been holding.

Addie was right. If Rachel’s friends couldn’t convince her she was acting silly, well, Mickie would come up with another plan.

Because, like Addie said, failure wasn’t an option.

The afternoon at Mary Karen’s house flew by. Rachel made peanut butter clusters, haystacks and divinity. After that she helped Mary Karen form Oreo balls. Keeping busy kept her mind off Derek. She’d been having great fun until she spoke without thinking.

When Lexi and July turned from the pan of fudge on Mary Karen’s stove top with identical expressions of shock, Rachel knew she had some explaining to do.

It didn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that when Mary Karen had asked how the skiing with Derek had gone on Sunday, Rachel should have simply said fine. Okay, maybe she’d have had to spill a few more details to keep her friends satisfied. Still, there’d been no reason to confess she’d spent an entire night in Derek Rossi’s arms. No reason except Rachel desperately needed help sorting through her tangled emotions. And these women, her dearest friends, were as close to family as it got.

“Thank goodness the fudge is ready to pour.” Lexi removed the pan from the stove. “I don’t want to be distracted while you’re telling us about your night of passion.”

“I want to hear, too.” July pulled a baby bottle from a pan of warm water where she’d been holding it submerged. “Just give me a second to get Adam situated.”

July retrieved her nine-month-old son from the high chair where he’d been playing with a colorful ring of plastic keys and settled into a chair at the table. After testing the temperature of the formula against her wrist, she popped the nipple into his mouth.

Adam rested his head against his mother’s chest,
sucking contentedly, his chubby fingers curling and uncurling.

Rachel’s heart gave a ping. She’d once dreamed of holding Tom’s baby the way July held Adam. But that was a lifetime ago. And her son, if he’d survived, would be closer to the age of Mary Karen’s youngest, who sat on the floor crashing two trucks together.

“Okay, I’m ready now.” July’s green eyes snapped with curiosity. “Details, girl. Give us details.”

Mary Karen leaned forward, resting her forearms on the table, her entire attention focused on Rachel. “How was he? Was the sex a grand slam?” She giggled at her own joke.

“Mickie and I were at Derek’s house decorating his tree when that big storm moved in Sunday night.” Had it really been only three days ago? “When we realized the roads would be impassable, he insisted we stay.”

“Fast forward to the juicy part.” Impatience underscored Mary Karen’s words.

“And what juicy part would that be?” Rachel asked, discovering playing dumb could be, well, fun.

“The part where you got naked,” Lexi called out from the stove where she stood pouring the melted chocolate into a baking dish.

“Lexi,” Mary Karen hissed, gesturing with her head to almost three-year-old Logan. “Little ears.”

Rachel hid a smile. “Are you telling me to keep it G-rated?”

July’s lips formed a pout. “What fun is that?”

“If you could just avoid certain…words…in the telling I’d appreciate it.” Mary Karen glanced at her youngest son. “Otherwise I’ll hear them for weeks to come.”

“Just give us the basics,” Lexi said. “We’ll fill in the blanks.”

“Actually nothing happened,” Rachel said.

“Uh, sorry.” July shook her head. “Not buying it.”

“It’s the truth.” Rachel wondered why she suddenly felt so regretful. “Derek was sitting next to me on the love seat. We were talking and drinking wine. I must have fallen asleep. When I woke up, he was right there.”

“And then…?” July prompted.

“We got up and had breakfast.” Rachel saw no reason to mention that she’d wanted him to kiss her. And, God help her, make love to her.

The intensity of her physical desire had shocked her. Although Mickie had been in no hurry to leave, she’d had to get out of there before Derek saw through her.

“Having a man in your life can be a beautiful thing,” Lexi said, her eyes dreamy.

“If it’s the right man,” Mary Karen said.

“I
had
the right man,” Rachel said, reminding her friends and herself. “I’m not looking for another.”

“We’re not saying you should marry the guy.” July pulled the bottle from her son’s mouth and gently lifted him to her shoulder.

“But you do enjoy his company,” Mary Karen pointed out.

“And he’s wonderful with Mickie,” Lexi added.

“She adores him,” Rachel admitted. “But I can’t be with him because of her.”

Lexi covered Rachel’s hand with her own. “Since Tom died, your feet have been planted in the past. Why don’t you try living in the present for a couple weeks?
No worries about yesterday. Or tomorrow. Simply enjoy the right now.”

“You wouldn’t be betraying Tom by having a male friend,” Mary Karen said, her blue eyes dark and intense.

July offered a reassuring smile. “Nothing will happen that you don’t want to happen.”

They weren’t saying anything Rachel hadn’t told herself. Still, hearing the words from women she trusted made her feel better. Especially Mary Karen’s comment.

Seeing Derek at the grocery store had been brutal. She hadn’t known what to say without giving her secret yearnings away…so she’d said as little as possible.

“There’s no reason we can’t be friends,” she said almost to herself. “I’ll just have to make sure he understands there will be no kissing…or…anything else.”

July tilted her head. “Has he tried to kiss you again?”

Rachel shook her head. Derek had been a perfect gentleman. It troubled her that the thought was more depressing than comforting.

“Well, when he makes a move, you can decide what you want to do,” Lexi said. “After all, lots of friends kiss. Some even hop into bed with each other every now and then.”

“Isn’t that right, Mary Karen?” July’s gaze settled on her sister-in-law. “You and Travis kiss sometimes, yet you’re just friends.”

Rachel turned to the young mother of three, not bothering to hide her surprise.

“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a little
friendly kissing,” Mary Karen said in a cavalier tone, even though two bright spots of pink dotted her cheeks. “Where it can get hinky is when you let it go farther.”