The Chronicles of Winterset: Oracle (10 page)

I made it through another week of school without so much as being looked at by Kellin. I had gone back to being distant, not knowing what to even say to him if given the chance and not sure I even wanted it.

Kellin looked tired whenever I saw him. Dark circles shadowed his once brilliant blue eyes, and his face sagged with stress. I felt a pang of sympathy for him, but I quickly reeled it in when I thought about how he’d left me lying in the middle of the woods drunk, in tears, and in pain.

Calix, on the other hand, seemed to find me regardless of where I went. He even knew which bathroom I hid in during lunch and made it a point to wait for me by the doors. I had started out being exasperated with him and had pushed past him each time, making sure to close the door firmly behind me. I always caught a grin out of the corner of my eye and knew this was fun for him. He enjoyed our cat and mouse game, and truth be told, I sort of enjoyed it too.

That Friday, I had decided to have lunch in the commons with Mel and Chad, and I wasn’t surprised when Calix flopped down in the seat next to mine. Mel looked at me with wide eyes, clearly demanding an explanation for his sudden presence. I shook my head at her, hoping she wouldn’t say anything. I’d told her about Kellin, and he was on her list, as she had put it, boycotting him right along with me.

“Hello, ladies,” Calix greeted us with his smooth voice. “Chad.”

Chad smirked at him and said hello. Chad could get along with practically anyone, and just because Kellin hated Calix didn’t mean Chad would. I thought secretly Chad might be boycotting Kellin too because I’d hardly seen the two of them talk since the party last weekend.

“How are you feeling?” Calix asked me softly as he leaned into me. “I haven’t had a chance to really talk to you since last weekend.”

He hadn’t been making it to his classes, but I’d seen him randomly walking the halls. I had wanted to inquire as to where he was going when he was supposed to be in class, but I decided against it, knowing he was probably doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing, so not knowing his whereabouts was probably best on my end anyway. I didn’t want to be an accomplice to any shenanigans he was getting himself into.

“I’ve been OK,” I shrugged. I’d been having the dreams and visions just as before. They seemed shorter, though, and hazy, like I was trying to view them through a pane of glass while it poured rain outside.

“You know, they say you can tell if someone is telling the truth by looking at their eyes,” he commented as he pushed a strand of blonde hair out of my face. I caught Mel and Chad watching us closely as I gave Calix a small, nervous smile.

“Really? Do my eyes tell you I’m lying?” I asked breathlessly, turning to him and letting him study me for a moment.

“Ana, your eyes say many things to me,” he replied gently, his voice a soft purr. “For instance, they tell me you haven’t been sleeping. You toss and turn all through the night, plagued by what an average person would call a nightmare. Instead, you refer to them as bad dreams because you know you have yet to see a true nightmare.”

“My eyes told you all of that?” I gulped uneasily as a chill rushed down my spine at his words. My mind swung back to when I thought he was planting thoughts in my mind, when I thought he was one of the voices in my head. I shook the odd thought off and focused my attention back on him.

“They also tell me you have a secret,” he continued. He reached out and touched my hand, causing a jolt of electricity to flood through me. It was uncomfortable at first, but it became a pleasant hum as his large, warm hand rested on top of mine—like it belonged there.

“What’s my secret?” I whispered, praying he didn’t know about my flaming hand parlor trick.

“That you want me to go to homecoming with you tomorrow night,” he finished, a smirk on his face.

Mel burst into laughter and Chad chortled along with her. Ah, he was so slick, and it made me smile. I looked up and saw Kellin glaring at us from across the commons, Courtney cuddled up beside him, while Sasha looked like she was going to throw up at the sight of Calix next to me.

Calix loved to be challenged. He wasn’t the only one who could read people.

“Actually, I’ve been hoping to get you all alone so I could ask you, but since we’re here and you mentioned it, yes, I do want you to go to homecoming with me,” I stated matter-of-factly, bravely rising to his challenge.

Instead of him being shocked, he grinned at me. “As the beautiful princess commands,” he said, bowing his head to me. “And so it shall be.”

He got to his feet and without pause, leaned down and kissed me on my cheek, gentle as can be. His lips were hot and the energy emanating from him soared into me, making me feel like I’d just taken an hour long nap. I felt awake and refreshed. Something I hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Wear red. It’s my favorite color,” he whispered quickly in my ear before disappearing back into the school. I stared at him in disbelief, surprised at his sudden display of affection.

“Wow,” Mel murmured, watching him go. “He is so hot.”

Chad just shook his head and bit into his hamburger.

I had pushed the weird dreams, visions, and even my infrequent flaming hand trick out of my head by ten o’clock that night as I sat with Mel in our favorite booth at Crust Lust. We’d gone shopping after school for a homecoming dress for me and had such a good time, the awesome mood had followed me throughout the night. Mel had skipped cheerleading practice and I had quit the squad earlier in the day, much to Courtney’s apparent frustration. Now she’d have to find new ways to torment me.

“I can’t believe you’re going to homecoming with Calix,” Mel gushed, biting into her pizza. “He is so ungodly hot.”

“I know,” I grinned as I sipped my drink and bit into my breadstick.

“He has those dreamy eyes and a great butt,” she continued, grinning wickedly at me.

I laughed at her accurate description.

“So tell me about how you two started getting along!” she pressed on eagerly.

“Well, after Kellin left me in the woods, I guess I passed out. I told you I woke up in Calix’s bedroom and how he said he’d followed us. I guess I just sort of realized maybe he wasn’t as big a jerk as I originally thought he was.”

“But didn’t he tell you he was a bit of an ass?”

“Yeah,” I said with a sigh. “But it’s whatever. We’re just going to homecoming together. It’s not like I’m destined to be with him forever or anything like that.”

“Not that I’d mind being with him forever if I were in your place,” Mel remarked dreamily.

“You have Chad,” I pointed out.

“I do,” she grinned at me.

We ate our pizza in silence before Mel spoke up again. “You are going to look killer in that dress you bought tonight!”

“I hope so,” I said through a mouthful of pizza. I’d gotten a long, slinky, bareback red one with a plunging neckline. It was a little more daring than I’d typically wear, but when I looked into the mirror, I felt like a million bucks, which sold me on it. It helped that I’d remembered the look on Calix’s face when he’d seen me in my outfit the previous weekend at the party, and I sort of wanted a repeat, even if I still did feel a little apprehensive around him.

“Honestly, though, I’m really nervous,” I admitted. “Calix is so different, you know? I kind of feel like he knows me without actually knowing me. It’s weird. He says the things I’m thinking, and it’s almost like he’s in my head sometimes.”

“I think you’re right to be nervous. I mean, Calix is hot. Like lava hot, Ana. He’s intense, and I kind of feel like he’s dangerous. Like he has this mysterious vibe coming off of him. He even makes me nervous. I would be all over that, though, if I were you.”

We laughed and talked a bit more before Kellin and his crew walked in. I quickly hung my head, not wanting to make eye contact with Kellin. I was still super pissed at him over the whole woods ordeal.

Mel looked from me to Chad, who was in the group, and I saw her tense. I knew she wanted to hang out with Chad, and I didn’t want to take that away from her.

Kellin and his crew made their way over to our table and Chad leaned down and kissed Mel on the lips.

“Mind if we join you guys?” he asked, the question directed at me as Kellin stood silently beside him, his gaze anywhere but on me.

“No, it’s OK,” I said softly. I saw Mel’s face light up and I knew enduring this thirty-minute meal would be worth it just so she’d be happy. She’d have done it for me.

The guys slid into the booth and I bit my lip as Kellin sat down beside me. The group fell into easy conversation as I pushed my piece of cold pizza around my plate.

“Ana,” Kellin cleared his throat and said my name barely above a whisper. I stopped pushing my pizza around and stared down at my plate, feeling frozen in place. I didn’t answer him, and he didn’t say my name again, taking the hint that I was still mad at him.

“So, Ana,” Jared said, causing the table to quiet down.

I grimaced wondering what words of wisdom he was about to spew.

“I was wondering if you have a date to homecoming yet. I figured if you don’t, we could go together.”

I cast a quick look at Mel, who seemed just as surprised as I was over Jared’s seemingly kind invite.

“Um, I’m sorry, Jared. Someone has already asked me,” I answered softly.

“Really?” Jared asked, sounding let down at the news. “Damn. That figures.”

I shrugged and went back to poking my pizza and was surprised when Kellin spoke up, his deep voice causing the group to quiet down again.

“Who are you going with?” he asked, studying me with his tired blue eyes.

“Calix Night,” I answered, deciding I didn’t care if he approved or not. I saw him grip his fork tightly, and it bend beneath the pressure he was inflicting on it.

“Christ, Ana! You seriously couldn’t find anyone better to take you?” he asked through gritted teeth.

“I guess everyone else had already decided I was more of a drunken mistake than anything,” I shot back. I felt the uncomfortable silence flow from the group, and I immediately regretted my choice of words. Now they were going to think we’d hooked up or something. Oh, well. I was tired of worrying about what everyone thought.

“I never said I regretted you, Ana,” Kellin whispered.

Jared gave a low whistle, and I knew the rumor mill would start spilling out all sorts of stories now.

“No, just that it was a mistake. I need to go,” I said, rising to my feet. “I think I’ve had enough fun for one night.”

Kellin rose to let me out, then followed me. “Ana, wait!” he called out as I stalked through the parking lot. I’d ridden with Mel so this was going to be a long walk home. I silently vowed to start driving myself places.

I kept walking without acknowledging him. His hand caught my elbow suddenly and he pulled me to a stop.

“Where are you going?” he asked staring down at me.

“I’m going home,” I pulled my arm away from him and turned to continue my angry march through the crowded parking lot.

“Ana, come on,” he said exasperated, grabbing me and stopping me again. “I should have done this sooner. I’m sorry. What happened last weekend shouldn’t have happened.”

“Yes, I know that!” I snapped at him. “You made that abundantly clear as you drove away, leaving me all alone in the middle of nowhere!”

“For Christ’s sake, Ana!” he shouted, running his hands through his thick blond hair in frustration. “That’s not what I meant! I meant it should have happened. I wanted it to happen. I just didn’t want it like that. Not without you knowing the truth about me first.”

“You displayed all the truth I needed to see, Kellin,” I spat at him. “You know, I always thought you were a good guy. I looked up to you, and I hate to admit it, but I actually wanted you. I wanted to be with you. How messed up is that?”

“It’s not messed up, Ana,” he sighed and stepped closer to me, effectively blocking me in so I couldn’t run if I needed to. I thought about my flame hand and decided it had better work when I needed it or it would be an absolutely worthless ability.

“I’m glad you want me,” he said softly.

“Wanted, Kellin. Past tense,” I interjected.

“Regardless, Ana. I want you too. I’ve wanted you for so long it hurts. I never thought I would, but then I got to know you, and I knew I’d made the right decision coming here for you.”

“You came here for me?” I asked skeptically. “Tonight?”

Kellin let out a sigh and looked up to the sky. He looked like someone asking for help from a greater power.

“Sure. Tonight, Ana. I screwed up last weekend. I panicked. It all became too real for me and I hurt you. You have no idea how much pain I was in as I drove away. When I realized how much I messed up, I turned around and came back for you, but you were gone. I looked for you. I called your phone even. I was terrified something had happened to you.”

“And yet you never found me. I’d think if you were so worried about someone and couldn’t find them, you’d let someone know they were missing!”

“I did find you,” he answered sourly. “I knew you were with Calix. I’d called Mel after I scoured the forest for two hours looking for you. She told me he’d called her and told her you were with him.”

“Good thing my knight in shining armor showed up,” I snapped at him. “If it weren’t for Calix, I might have died out there!”

“Ana, I’m sorry. What do I have to do to prove it to you? I’ll do anything. It’s going to be a rough life if all we do is fight with one another.”

“You’re kidding, right? After we graduate from here, I’m gone, Kellin. You won’t ever have to see me again.”

“I don’t want that, Ana. Not being near you would kill me. I meant what I said that night. I want you more than I want the air I breathe!”

“You sure have an odd way of showing it. I mean, you were right back in Courtney’s arms on Monday,” I pointed out, folding my arms across my chest.

“What am I supposed to do? You have no idea what I’m going through! And the damnable part about it is I can’t even tell you! So I’m stuck here confessing my feelings for you without a shred of goddamn proof other than my word, and since I already screwed that up, I’m left here with nothing. And there you are. Beautiful, intelligent, strong, courageous, and about to be swept off your feet by someone I hate and don’t trust. How is that for a love story?”

I didn’t say anything as he stared down at me. His blue eyes no longer had the brilliant color to them. They had dulled in appearance, and he looked like he’d aged tremendously in the last week. The dark circles beneath his eyes looked like bruises, and I knew there was more going on with him than he was telling me.

We were both liars in the grand scheme of things. Me not telling him about my visions and dreams or telling him I could burst into flames. And him not telling me whatever he was hiding. As odd as it sounded, we made the perfect tragic couple.

“How has it been possible to be with Courtney when you claim to have feelings for me?” I ventured. The pained expression returned to his face, and he frowned.

“She’s been awful to me, Kellin. She’s a cruel, vindictive, jealous person. I quit the squad today. I can’t stand her.”

“I heard,” he whispered staring down at me. “I’m sorry you felt you had to do that, Ana. I know how much gymnastics meant to you and how this was all you had now. I blame myself for that as well.”

I remained silent as I stared past him. I wanted out of this situation. Even going home to my awful dreams beat standing here hashing it out with Kellin.

“Don’t go with Calix to homecoming,” Kellin said softly. “I know I don’t deserve to have a say in what you do, Ana, but please, at least hear me out. Something about him isn’t right. He’s dangerous. Too dangerous for you. I’m so worried about you, I can’t eat or sleep. Please, just promise you’ll consider what I’m saying. I don’t want you to get hurt. If something happened to you, it would kill me.”

I sucked in a shocked breath at his words and stared up disbelievingly at him. “What?”

“You heard me,” he said, his voice wavering. “I don’t want you to get hurt. I love you.”

“Kellin—” I started, but he silenced me by placing his finger softly against my lips.

“Ana, I know I don’t deserve your trust now after I ruined it, but please, I beg you to consider what I said to you. He’s a danger. I want you to be happy. Always. You won’t find that happiness with Calix.”

“And you think I could find it with you?” I inquired. “After what you did to me?”

“I hope someday you’ll forgive me, Ana. I understand it’s not at this moment.”

I remained quiet as he regarded me carefully.

“Do you really not trust me?” he leaned in closer so our faces were nearly touching.

My heart thrummed nervously in my chest and my stomach was in knots. “I want to,” I said softly. “I really do, but I can’t. Not now.”

“It won’t always be this way,” his eyes searched my face quickly, and I swallowed hard. He leaned in even more, and I closed my eyes because seeing his face was painful to me.

“Ana! Are you OK?” Mel shouted.

Kellin pulled back, running his hands through his hair quickly as he cast me a hasty glance.

Mel looked from him to me, her confusion evident.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine,” I said, noting how breathless I sounded.

“Well, I was worried,” she said slowly, looking over to Kellin, who was staring at the ground. “Do you want to go home?”

“Yeah, we should,” I said, straightening up and pushing past Kellin. I was surprised when he grabbed my arm and pulled me into a tight embrace. Mel stared wide-eyed at me, and I averted my eyes, not knowing how to react to his sudden hug.

“Just think about what I said, Ana. I’m sorry for everything. Remember our dance last weekend? Remember how much fun we had?” he whispered into my ear. “I’ll dance with you all night if it’ll help. I’d dance with you forever.”

I didn’t say anything as he pressed his warm lips to the top of my head affectionately. He pulled away suddenly and without a backward look, he returned to Crust Lust, leaving both me and Mel staring wordlessly after him.

“What the hell was that?” Mel breathed, pulling her gaze from the doors Kellin had disappeared behind.