The Cinderella Reflex (9 page)

“I’ll know. And Ollie Andrews – the presenter – will know and will smirk into my face about it. And Helene Harper will know and use it to get on my case even more afterwards. But if people hear you it will encourage them. That often happens – when people hear other people talking about something on radio, they ring in too.” She stopped, catching his expression. “You think only crazy people with nothing else to do ring in to radio stations, don’t you? Maybe you’re right.” Her earlier elation had started to evaporate now.

“Maybe.” He shrugged and shoved a hand into his jeans pocket and pulled out a biro. “What telephone number do I ring?”

“You’re going to do it? Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! So – the show is called
This Morning with –
”

“
This Morning with Ollie Andrews
? Cos that’s the presenter’s name?”

“Right.” Tess reeled off the telephone number and watched as he scribbled it down on a used brown envelope he had pulled out of his other pocket. He seemed pleased with himself.

“I’m getting the hang of this,” he said.

“You are. But you need to listen to the programme for a while first so it sounds natural when you get put on-air,” Tess explained.

“And is the show recorded or does it go out live?”

“It’s live. So – tell me what your problem is?” She pulled out her own pen and notebook so she could take his details. She hoped it wouldn’t be too difficult to work out how to answer it. But she could worry about that later. At least it was a real problem! This was the break she’d been praying for.

“Well … I have a little condition to my participation in the programme.”

“What condition?” Tess asked carefully. It was starting to go wrong again.

“I don’t want to tell you what the problem is in advance of the show.”

“But that’s the whole point!” Tess burst out. Then she stopped. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. She didn’t know the first thing about this guy. And she had thought it was weird from the start: a bloke coming to a fortune teller on his own. She wiped a damp hand on her skirt.

“I think it would be better if you were to ad-lib the answer,” he said. “That’s what people want to hear – what your take is on the problem, not some second-hand regurgitation of what a professional might say. Your own opinion would make for much better radio.”

“And you know this – how exactly?” Disappointment made Tess sound more belligerent than she intended. But people were always thinking they knew what made better radio when in reality they didn’t have a clue. They thought it involved just getting behind a mike and talking
.
But there was a lot more to it – not enough people realised that.

“It’s just a feeling,” he said mildly. “There’s no need to get so disturbed about it.”

That was exactly the word for her, Tess thought.
Disturbed
. She’d come to a fortune teller and ended up giving her advice on her new, ‘funky’ image! And then she’d asked this perfect stranger to ring her on-air when for all she knew he could be a psycho-stalker from hell. She was taking the whole thing far too seriously. She stuffed her pen and notebook back into her satchel.

“Listen,” she said, “I’ve changed my mind about you ringing. It was a mistake. So let’s just pretend this conversation never happened. Okay?”

“But what about all that stuff you said about being afraid of making a show of yourself in front of the presenter? And your boss getting on your case?” He looked baffled again.

“Well, that’s for me to worry about,” Tess said shortly. “I told you from the start I would need to know what your problem was because I don’t have any experience in answering problems. That was the whole
point
of the conversation!”

“Look, if it’s that important to you, I’ll do it. Take your pen back out. I’ll tell you what my problem is.”

Tess looked at him, flustered. She didn’t know what to do now.

Then the kitchen door opened and Rosa appeared in the hallway, beckoning for Tess to follow her into the parlour.

Tess stood up. “It’s too late now. Let’s just forget it.”

“Really?” He scratched his five o’clock shadow and had the nerve to look disappointed. “Well, good luck with it anyway.”

Tess rolled her eyes to heaven and turned to follow Grandma Rosa into the tiny front room. She could hardly remember what she had come here for now. She perched on the edge of another ancient sofa, across a coffee table from Rosa. She shrugged her shoulders, trying to dissipate the tension.

“You seem nervous,” Rosa said. She had a deck of tarot cards in her hands. She shuffled them and held them out to Tess. “Here, pick nine cards.”

Tess picked the cards absentmindedly and waited while Rosa arranged them into a cross shape on the coffee table. She was still thinking of the guy in the waiting room.

“Sorry for keeping you waiting.” Rosa was studying the cards. “Well, the first thing the cards are telling us today is that there are big changes on the horizon for you.”

“Yes, I know that! That’s why I’m here. The reason I came was because the radio station I work for is about to be taken over and –”

Rosa’s eyes widened. “You work in a radio station?”

“Yes, but I don’t know for how much longer. I’m not sure if the new owner will want to keep the same staff and –”

“Do you think you could get me on the radio? Doing fortunes? Maybe even Cosmic Ordering? Listeners would love it! And if I had a media profile I’d never be out of work. What’s the radio station called?”

“Atlantic 1FM – you must know it – it’s the local station here in Killty. It’s tiny. You’d be better trying somewhere bigger,” Tess said apologetically.

“No – local would be good, especially for drumming up new business. And, yes, I know Atlantic 1FM – I listen to that show in the morning. What’s it called again?”

“
This Morning with Ollie Andrews.
That’s the one I produce.”

“You’re the producer!” Grandma Rosa was impressed. “So you could get me a slot then?”

“It’s not that easy!” Tess sighed. “There might be a new station owner and he is supposed to only want young people! And I know you’ve had your makeover and everything, but I mean
really
young. In fact, even I might be too old to work there myself soon.”

“What?” Rosa blanched. “Sure you’re only a child!”

“I’m not! I’m thirty! And Sara, that’s the girl I work with, she says the new boss might only want
under
-thirty-year-olds. She heard it from her father who knows all these business types. But even apart from the station being taken over, my job is terrible at the moment.” Tess’s thoughts came out in a jumble. “My boss keeps hounding me to come up with better ideas and get more listeners. And now? Now she wants me to be an agony aunt!”

Rosa looked down at the cards, her head leaning to one side. “That’s something I’d be very good at, if you don’t mind me saying – an agony aunt! But you’re right – I couldn’t pass for under thirty. It was a makeover I had, not a miracle. But the point is, I’d
love
to do it. So why is it a problem for you then?”

“Because I’d feel sorry for someone if I’m their only port of call when they have a problem. I can’t even sort out my own problems. And it seems exploitative. And unethical.” There was that word again. Tess was beginning to get on her own nerves saying it.

“So maybe it’s time you moved on if you find yourself compelled to do things that are unethical and exploitative,” Rosa said calmly.

“It’s not that easy …” Tess began.

“You keep saying that,” Rosa pointed out.

“Do I?” Tess hadn’t noticed.

“Look. Worthwhile things are rarely easy. And staying in a job you hate and doing things you find unethical – well, that can’t be easy either.” Rosa overturned another of Tess’s card choices and peered at it. “What about love and romance? Tell me, have you someone new in your life?”

Tess shook her head dumbly. There wasn’t a single man in the whole of Killty as far as she could tell and with her debut slot as Agony Aunt of the Airwaves starting on Monday, romance was the last thing on her mind.

“Are you sure?” Creases appeared in Grandma Rosa’s forehead as she concentrated on her cards. “There’s a big romance showing here. Have you got your eye on someone maybe?”

Rosa sounded so convinced that, despite herself, Tess peered at the cards.

“How can you tell?”

“It’s my skill.” Rosa looked at her. “So do you know who it might be?”

“Haven’t a clue. I’ve been concentrating on my career lately.”

“What sort of a life is that? Especially with the problematic career you have?” Rosa was openly incredulous.

“But that’s why I’m here. Because I want help to sort it all out.”

“Well then, you’ll think about what I said. About moving on.”

“Look,” Tess said forcefully, “the media industry is not an easy place to be job-hopping in at the moment. Lots of people would do what I do for nothing, just to get a foot in the door.”

Rosa flipped over another card and her eyes widened. “You’ll be getting a proposition shortly – I’m not sure what sort. When I was young a proposition would have meant an engagement ring. But these days that could just mean a sleepover. Or,” she raised her hand in anticipation of Tess’s further protest, “a career move.”

Tess smiled. She didn’t mean to be uncharitable, but it was no wonder business was going down the tubes for Grandma Rosa if this was the best she could come up with. A new romance, big changes on the horizon. So far, so predictable.

Still, she’d come this far so she’d give her a chance. For the next thirty minutes she listened carefully as Rosa turned one card over and then another. In fairness, some things struck a chord for Tess. Like she was missing someone special from her life. That would be Verity, her sister, who had moved to London with her husband. So London wasn’t Australia and they kept in close contact still, but it wasn’t only the geographical distance that was the problem. It was the fact that when Verity got married Tess felt she’d moved on to an altogether more grown-up phase of her life, creating a gap between them.

Rosa also pointed out that Tess needed to listen to her heart instead of her head more often, something she agreed with readily. She knew she was being very analytic about her life lately, but that was because she trying to be strategic about getting a career for herself.

But, by the end of the session, Tess just felt like she’d enjoyed a harmless distraction from life, that was all. There was no big reveal, no inspirational guidance to take home with her.

So much for being the seventh daughter of a seventh daughter, she smiled to herself as she handed over her money and Rosa deposited it into an old, red tea caddy.

She let herself out, resisting the temptation to look back towards the kitchen.

Chapter Six

Tess looked up as the café door swung open and Andrea swept in. She had been here half an hour already and was enjoying the ambience of the Travel Café, remembering all the good times of her own globetrotting days. Andrea had mentioned that a new café had opened recently and they had arranged to meet to discuss Tess’s new role as agony aunt.

Tess had got here deliberately early and spent some time browsing through the brochures and books. Andrea, on the other hand, arrived after a five-kilometre run. Her auburn hair was plastered into her head and she was out of breath but she looked pink-cheeked and exhilarated. Sunday mornings were what she called her ‘sanity time’ and Tess was grateful she was taking the time out to give her some advice.

She sat down opposite Tess and ordered herself a herbal tea. “So! How is the
Agony Aunt of the Airwaves
slot coming along?”

Tess rolled her eyes. “Not very well, actually. The harder I try to relax, the more wound up I get about it. I keep picturing Ollie’s sneering face on the other side of the table. I feel like a square peg in a round hole in this job, Andrea.”

“You need to ignore Ollie and concentrate on yourself,” Andrea advised.

“But he hates me. And so does Helene,” Tess sighed.

“Helene has it in for us all.” Andrea shrugged. “She considers me a liability because I have children and I can’t be at her beck and call twenty-four hours a day. I’m already getting that anxious Monday feeling because I have zero ideas for tomorrow. I need to find time to look through the newspapers this afternoon but then Paul will be like a demon because he says Sundays are supposed to be family time. Sometimes I feel like I’m being pulled in two.”

“How’s he getting on with being a house husband then?” Tess asked speculatively. She’d noticed that since Paul had lost his job her friend had become much more distracted at work.

Andrea raised her eyes heavenwards. “Hmm. Mondays he coaches school football, Wednesdays he’s involved in computer classes for the elderly, Thursdays it’s a support group for men made redundant. Not a lot of housework going on. And now he needs – get this – Me Time!”

Tess stifled a snigger. “I thought that only existed inside the pages of women’s magazines?” But she felt bad about making fun of him. Andrea was the reporter across all of the weekday programmes on Atlantic, which meant a lot of unsociable and unpredictable hours. It couldn’t be easy for him, adjusting to a life at home and having to deal with all of that too.

“Well, Paul says Me Time is hugely important when you’re a stay-at-home dad. Otherwise your creativity gets stifled, apparently.” She shrugged. “Anyhow, have you brought your script for tomorrow?”

“I was just going through it when you arrived.” Tess shoved a sheet of paper across the table.

Andrea glanced through it and slid it back. “It’s absolutely fine to start you off. Next week, when the problems start rolling in, we can sit down and work out a detailed plan. Just get it kicked off tomorrow.”

“Thanks.” Tess shoved the paper into her bag. She had planned to rehearse it with Andrea, but it was clear her friend had more than enough on her plate.

As it turned out, she hadn’t even got around to telling her that she’d been to see the fortune teller when Andrea’s mobile bleeped. She squinted at the screen, sighed, and pushed her half-full cup of tea to one side. “Time’s up, I’m afraid. See you tomorrow so. And stop worrying, Tess. You’ll be absolutely fine.”