The Cinderella Reflex (11 page)

Tess shuddered. “No. Even if Helene doesn’t axe me, I’m done. In fact, if you see me going near a microphone again you have permission to cut my head off.” Tess shook her head ruefully. “Remind me again why I thought Ollie’s job was easy?”

“It looks easier than it actually is. Maybe that’s why Ollie is always bad-tempered. He’s probably full of stress with his figures spiralling downwards.”

“I’m full of stress and I don’t bite people’s heads off on a daily basis,” Tess said sharply.

“Anyway,” Andrea swirled her drink around her glass, “we’d better think up a defence for the post-mortem this afternoon.”

“Yes and it had better be a bloody good one!” Tess whipped around to see Sara approaching their table, a hand on her hip and a reproachful look on her face.

“How did you find us?” Tess asked. She needed to be left alone until she and Andrea could work out how to minimise the damage she’d done this morning. Sara looked at her pityingly.

“Zelda’s? Ryan’s? It wasn’t difficult to check both venues!” Sara pulled up a chair and plonked herself down, looking at Tess with saucer eyes. “What happened to you in there?”

“I didn’t know anyone was going to ring in and so I didn’t have any answers prepared,” Tess said truthfully.

“But you were doing so well – giving Cindy all that advice. Telling her to get a life – that was priceless!”

“Really?” Tess was astonished at what sounded like praise.

“It was great,” Andrea agreed. “Radio gold.”

“Except you ruined everything by walking off mid-sentence,” Sara reminded her. “What came over you?”

“I think I may just have had my first panic attack. I guess I’m not cut out to be on-air, which serves me right for all the times I sniggered at Helene for her efforts. Is she furious because I walked out?”

Tess interlinked her fingers to stop herself from fidgeting and steeled herself to hear all about the fallout from her disastrous debut.

“Furious is an understatement.” Sara looked up as the barman approached and ordered herself fizzy water.

“Helene is always furious about something,” Andrea pointed out. “She’ll get over it.”

“But this is different. Because something happened after you left. Something big!” Sara looked from Tess to Andrea with suppressed excitement. “Guess what it was?”

Tess shook her head and Andrea shrugged.

“Guess who the guy was who called in?”

“An escaped prisoner?” Tess offered mildly.

“Hah!” Sara laughed mirthlessly. “Can you guess, Andrea?”

Andrea shook her head. “Tess met him at a fortune teller’s house – but she didn’t know either of them was going to ring in to the show. Come on, tell us who it was, Sara! Tess has had a very bad morning – and she still has to face Helene and Ollie this afternoon. We don’t really have time for guessing games.”

Sara tutted. “Call yourselves journalists!” She sat up straighter. “That caller,” Sara took a deep breath and put on her most important voice, “was Jack. As in Jack ‘Midas-touch’ McCabe!”

“What?” Tess shot upright, spilling her drink in the process.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Andrea nabbed a wedge of napkins from the tray of a passing barman and dabbed vigorously at the liquid pooling in the middle of their table.

“It’s true!” Sara’s voice raised an octave. “Richard Armstrong recognised his voice straight away. He came storming into the studio just after you left, Tess. He really laid into Helene for letting Jack McCabe on without telling him about it first. Said negotiations are at a very sensitive stage. Helene asked him how she was supposed to know it was Jack McCabe when Richard didn’t tell her
anything
. And then she started quizzing him about that caller Cindy and how her problem reminded her of a situation much closer to home. ‘
Like our situation, Richard!
’ she said.” Sara stopped to take a breath. “Did you two know Helene and Richard were having an affair?”

“No!” Tess was shocked.

But Andrea was silent, still swirling the dregs of her drink around the bottom of her glass.

“You knew, Andrea?” Sara was openly astonished.

“I had a suspicion, that’s all.” Andrea changed the subject. “So, what’s the strategy for the post-mortem?”

“I don’t know,” Tess was still trying to get her head around the fact that she had just left the future owner of the station dangling in the middle of an on-air call. “That can’t be right, can it though? A top businessman looking for advice from an agony aunt? And going to a fortune teller? What sort of man would do that?”

“I know.” Andrea shook her head. “You couldn’t make it up!”

“I suppose I did ask him to ring ...” Tess said vaguely.

“You what?” Andrea looked bewildered.

“When I met him at Rose Cottage – that’s where the fortune teller lives – I asked him to call in to the programme with a problem to start the slot off, but then he wouldn’t tell me what his problem was so I told him not to bother.”

“But he was Jack McCabe, so he did, “ Sara butted in. “Of course he did! He was probably doing his research.”

“Into what?” Andrea raised her eyebrows.

“Into the station. How we get our stories, that sort of thing.”

“But he never said who he was – even after I said I worked for Atlantic.” Tess said.

“Well, he wouldn’t. It was probably a test,” Sara declared.

“And er ... did you ask the fortune teller to call in too?” Andrea wondered.

“No! I wasn’t expecting either of them! Or Cindy, whoever she is. But look, hands up. I should have been able to handle the situation no matter what was thrown at me. As I keep saying, being on-air is just not me.”

“You’re being way too hard on yourself!” Andrea protested. “Everybody makes mistakes the first time they try something. It’s just that yours was very visible, and that makes it harder. But if we’re to believe Helene about our falling listenership not that many people will have heard it anyway.”

“But the people who mattered heard it. Helene. Richard Armstrong. Jack McCabe. But on the bright side,” Sara said, “there was a very good reaction to Grandma Rosa – loads of people were ringing in for her number.”

“Really?” Tess brightened. Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad once she’d faced the wrath of Ollie and Helene.

But as the time came and went for the programme meeting there was no sign of either Helene or Ollie. Tess’s dark thoughts returned. They were probably having a summit meeting about this morning’s fiasco. She tried to concentrate on her work but the time crawled by. She was delighted when Andrea swung by on her way home.

“I have an hour before my train leaves if you want to talk about it some more?”

“Great!” Tess gathered her things. “Where?”

“The pub?” Andrea flashed her a sympathetic look.

But Tess’s hopes of a quiet drink were dashed as soon as she walked back into Ryan’s bar. She was carrying drinks down to their table when she caught a glimpse of Helene, partially hidden by a marble pillar, and perched on a bar stool.

Tess tiptoed by and was just congratulating herself on passing by unseen when Helen’s voice cracked after her like a whip.

“Tess Morgan!”

She turned to see Helene lurching unsteadily after her.

“Hi!” Tess said uncertainly. She frowned as Helene came closer. Two patches of bright red flushed her cheeks and her eyes were glazed as if she was having trouble focussing. She seemed drunk. But Helene was far too much of a control freak for that to happen at this stage of the early evening.

Seconds later, as Helene banged her glass of wine so hard onto the table that most of it spilt over the top Tess had to hastily revise her opinion. Andrea, who had been on the phone, grabbed some tissues out of her bag and mopped at the blood red wine.

“Helene, why don’t you sit down and join us?”

“I think I will – shanks!” Helene slumped into the seat and peered at Tess over the rim of her glass. “So this is where you’ve got to. You storm out of the studio leaving me to deal with your mess. And here you are – drinking!”

Tess raised her eyebrows. Kettles calling pots black came to her mind, but she thought she should at least try to explain about this morning. She opened her mouth to speak but Helene raised an imperious hand.

“Save it, Tess. I’ve given you every opportunity to better yourself. I gave you your own
on-air
slot
for God’s sake. But you not only made a mess of it, you walked out on your mistakes as well. And that,” she grabbed her glass and took a long sip, “is a heinous crime in my book.”

Tess stifled a giggle. A heinous crime indeed. What would Helene call a mass murder?

Helene surveyed her suspiciously. “Do you think it’s funny?”

“No.” Tess bit her lip.

“Did you know that caller was actually Jack McCabe?”

“No! How could I have known that?” Tess was indignant. “Sara told us at lunchtime. Before that I didn’t have a clue.”

“Did you know?” Helene turned to Andrea. Andrea shook her head and Helene turned back to Tess. “He was probably putting us through some sort of test. One that we’ve obviously failed. Thanks to you!” She looked at Tess malevolently.

“But why would he do something like that?” Tess asked a bit desperately. She thought of what Sara had said earlier. “Was it some sort of market research do you think?”

“How the hell do I know?” Helene snapped. “The point is you should have been prepared to talk off the cuff to callers. You were billed as an Agony Aunt of the Airwaves.”

“I didn’t think
any
callers were ringing in today,” Tess pointed out. “I thought I was simply reading a script.”

“And she didn’t know he was Jack McCabe when she asked him to ring in!” Andrea supported her.

Helene swivelled around and glared at Tess. “You
asked
Jack McCabe to ring in? And you didn’t tell me?” Helene’s voice rose incredulously.

“I asked a random stranger to ring in – I didn’t know who he was at the time. And in the end I told him not to bother!” Tess desperately tried to explain. “If I’d known he was Jack McCabe I wouldn’t even have spoken to him.”

“Where did you meet him?” Helene asked suspiciously.

“At a fortune teller’s. Grandma Rosa’s.”

“Grandma Rosa? So you invited that old bat to ring in today too. The one looking for her own slot?”

“No!” Tess said quickly. “I had no idea she was going to ring. Or Cindy either!”

“Well, at least I knew about Cindy.” Helene lifted her glass and drank deeply.

“You knew about Cindy?” Andrea raised her eyebrows.

“Well, I didn’t know what she was going to say. Richard said he’d set someone up to help Tess out – and to give the slot a kick-start. Not that it matters now.” Helene stared moodily into her drink.

“It’s clear I’m not cut out for being on-air,” Tess offered. She swung her satchel onto her shoulder, preparing for an early exit. The day had been a disaster and the evening was turning out to be not much better.

“You can say that again,” Helene responded bitterly. “What you did,” she narrowed her eyes across the table at Tess, “is a sackable offence!”

“Excuse me?” Tess was dumbfounded. First it was heinous crime and now this? Helene was obviously even drunker than she looked.

“Not being properly prepared for your work. Walking out of studio.” Helene stared at the drink in front of Tess. “Drinking!”

Tess looked at Helene’s wine glass pointedly. “It’s five thirty in the evening, Helene. We’re entitled to have a drink if we want to.”

“Maybe we’ve all had a bit too much to drink,” Andrea looked at Helene’s almost empty glass.

“Yes,” Tess agreed. “We can talk about it tomorrow.”

“Why did you tell Cindy to dump her lover?” Helene asked abruptly.

“I just said the first thing that came into my head!” Tess stopped short, remembering what Sara had said about Helene having an affair with Richard. Did she think Tess had known about the affair and was making fun of her?

“Helene, I would never assume to know what other people should do with their lives,” she said hesitantly. “That’s why I was so worried about taking up the agony aunt slot in the first place.”

“You can cut the little Miss Innocent act,” Helene snapped. “I know what you must think about me and Richard. What everyone thinks. But that’s not the point. The real issue here is that you walked out of studio. I just don’t know if I can trust you again, Tess.”

“I didn’t know anything about you and Richard,” Tess began but felt a sharp jab as Andrea’s elbow made contact with her ribs. She bit her lip to stop herself from saying any more. But suddenly she was sick of it all. Of being scapegoated by Ollie when things went wrong, of being hounded by Helene to produce better results, of trying in vain to get validation for her efforts from either of them. But none of it had worked.

“It’s true. I
can’t
trust you any more, Tess.” Helene obviously hadn’t finished with her yet.

Tess slumped back down in her seat, defeated. She’d just have to wait for the onslaught to pass.

“Which is why,” Helene knocked back the rest of her wine in one gulp, “I’m going to have to let you go.”

“Oh, hang on a minute!” Andrea intervened.

“From being the Agony Aunt of the Airwaves?” Tess still felt dismayed at how much of a flop she had been. But there was relief there too. At least now she wouldn’t have to go through it all again next week. She could concentrate on the job she had and hope she kept it when the takeover happened.

“Yes. And from being producer on This Morning
.
I am going to give Sara the opportunity, see what she makes of it. You can have her job if you like. But that means Sara will be your boss so I’ll understand if you want to consider your options.”

“You can’t be serious?” Tess couldn’t keep the dismay out of her voice.

“You can’t just sack someone in a pub!” Andrea gave Helene a warning look. “Especially after you’ve had a bit to drink.”

Helene twisted her head to look at Andrea, and Tess realised she was about to turn on her too.

“Leave it Andrea.” She turned to face Helene. “Do you think it’s pleasant working for you, Helene? Someone whose moods change like the weather? Someone who likes to dish out the blame but can’t face up to their own part in things?” Tess’s voice rose, a well of suppressed feelings suddenly exploding inside her. “And do you think I studied my arse off in college to sit listening to people phoning me in with problems I do not have
any
idea how to solve?”