The Cinderella Society (22 page)

The boardwalk went all the way around the back of the lake except for the sandy beach area, which had already started to clear out. We walked in synch, our feet moving in an even, unhurried rhythm. Ryan planted a kiss on the top of my head, and I felt him relax for the first time since we’d left the Fun Zone.

He pointed out where he and Dale used to fish when they were kids. Where they’d spied on Cassie getting her first kiss (then followed her around for a week calling her Goose Lips).

We stopped at a secluded section of the boardwalk and watched the sun as it touched the horizon. Ryan snuggled in behind me and put his arms on either side to grasp the railing. The sky glowed with honeyed hues of pink and red, and I
leaned back into his warmth, tuning into the quiet evening sounds and the solid feeling of being with Ryan. Just being.

The sun slipped from view, and Ryan nuzzled my temple with his jaw, a tiny bit of stubble abrading my skin. “This feels right,” he whispered.

A sigh escaped my lips as he turned me toward him. His eyes were deep and intense, and I lost myself in them, in the moment, in Ryan.

“You make me feel alive, Jess.” He slid his fingers along my neck and wove them through my hair. “I can’t get enough of you.”

His lips were gentle as they found mine, but when he angled my head, the kisses went deeper, pulling every sensation out of me. Our tongues found each other, wove together in a slow dance. He slid a hand behind me to cushion where I leaned against the railing. His other hand caressed my neck, his thumb grazing tiny circles that turned my skin to flame.

It was well after dark when the kisses became shorter and lighter, and Ryan finally set me away from him. His eyelids were heavy and hooded, matching the rush of emotions I felt in my chest, and I knew it had cost him. The realization made me feel vulnerable and thrilled. And cherished. Very, very cherished.

We took our time walking back toward the car, my head resting on his shoulder and our fingers laced together in perfect harmony.

We drove home in companionable silence, my hand missing the intimate contact with his but my mind relieved that he was a careful driver. Which made me think of his mom. “I know I already said this, but I’m sorry about your mom,” I said into the dark.

The oncoming headlights cast his face in shifting shadows.
I saw him swallow. He reached for my hand and planted a soft kiss on my palm. “Thanks.”

When we got to my house, the walk to the door was so different from last time. Standing on the porch, awash in bright parental-induced light, he touched his forehead to mine. “See me again.”

“Will you be at the banner party?” I’d been crossing my fingers since Sarah Jane had mentioned that the football team usually made an appearance at the cheerleaders’ annual banner-making shindig on Sunday.

“I have to work the whole weekend.” He nuzzled my ear. “I definitely want to see you again, though. In private.”

“I’m working Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday night?”

He groaned and placed my palm on his chest. I felt his heartbeat beneath my fingertips, the quick rhythm almost matching my own.

“That’s so long. But I’ll take what I can get.” He lifted my hand to his lips. “Don’t forget about me before then, okay?”

I smiled, feeling the distinct sensation of getting pulled under by something that felt a lot like love. “Ditto.”

He smiled and dropped my hand as he stepped back onto the path, waiting for me to go inside. I turned inside the doorway and blew him a kiss before closing the door.

Mom stood in the archway separating the kitchen from the hall, a mug of hot cocoa warming her hands. She took one look at me and gave a fleeting smile. “Is he The One?”

“I hope so.”

She nodded her head and blew on the steaming mug. “God help us.”

*   *   *

I took the most luxurious bath imaginable, indulging in two of Mom’s fizzy apricot tabs and a full cap of my almond oil
bubble bath. I rested my head on the spa pillow and replayed every minute of our date (okay, I replayed the kissing part several times) until the water was lukewarm and Mom was knocking to ask if I was a prune yet.

By the time I’d dried off, I was completely exhausted, exhilarated, and on emotional overdrive. It would be Tuesday before I managed to get any sleep, at the rate I was going. I turned on my computer to see if Sarah Jane had e-mailed the schedule for our next few practices. Ever on the ball, she had. I just hoped Lexy wouldn’t be at all of them.

I scanned the junk that had snuck through my spam filter, deleting it before closing down. My cursor hovered over Shut Down when an IM popped up.

First&Goal: tuesday’s too long i … i’ll find a way to be there on sunday

My butterflies fluttered their approval. Definitely The One.

WillCheer4Food: that would be awesome

First&Goal: i don’t think i can sleep tonight

First&Goal: will u be up for a while?

Mom knocked, and I closed my laptop.

“We’re going to bed, honey. I’m glad you had fun on your date.” She shuffled over and brushed the bangs off my forehead in her Mom-ish way, so different than when Ryan had done it. “How did you manage to grow up so fast?”

I didn’t. You just weren’t paying attention
.

I gave her a break, thinking about Mrs. Steele. “Get some sleep for the little guys.”

Mom’s hand supported her back as she made her way
to the door. “I would if they’d stop playing soccer with my bladder.”

“Yuck, Mom. TMI.”

“I’ll try to keep the
I
to myself. Oh, can you help me pick out a rocking chair for the twins’ room tomorrow? I thought you’d want a say, since you’ll be helping out with feedings.”

The feeding thing was news to me, and I felt the lingering resentment simmering in my stomach.
I’m not the hired help
, I wanted to say. “I already have plans. You can pick out whatever you want.”

“I wanted you to be comfortable in it too.” She leaned against the doorframe. “You’re gone so much lately. I feel like I never get to see you.”

Except when she needed me to do something for the babies. “That’s because I finally have a life.” It came out like a dig, even though I tried to keep my tone in check. “I’m happy. Can’t you just be happy for me too?”

“I’m always happy if you’re happy, Jess. How could you ever think I’m not? I know we haven’t always …”

Her voice drifted away, cutting off this line of questioning, and I breathed a tiny sigh of relief. This wasn’t the time.

Mom turned and waddled out the door, looking sad. “Not too late,” she reminded me, and clicked the door closed.

I listened to her feet retreat down the hall.

WillCheer4Food: sorry. parents are off to bed.

First&Goal: can i call u?

First&Goal: i want to hear your voice

WillCheer4Food: sure

I grabbed my cell and flicked it to stealth mode right before it started to vibrate. I went into my closet and camped
out on the floor so I wouldn’t disturb the parental sleeping beauties. “Hey.”

“Hey, beautiful.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “Am I crazy to be calling?”

Calling this late? Calling this soon? Calling at all? Why were guys so cryptic???

“I’m glad you did,” I said. “I had fun tonight.”

“Me too. Our dates are so different.”

“Well, yeah, unless you save people’s lives every time.” I said it without thinking and smacked my forehead for being such an idiot. “Sorry. I know you don’t want to talk about it.”

“I do.” He sounded sad. “I just can’t. Not right now.”

“No problem.” I changed the subject, and we started talking about football and school and summer jobs.

“Why do you work so much?” I wondered aloud. “I mean, it’s great, but … you know.”

“Know what?”

How could I say it without sounding snobby? “Well, I mean, I’ve been to your house. I figured kids who live in houses like that, and whose dads are orthopedic surgeons, wouldn’t have to work two jobs.”

Ryan considered that. “I don’t have to, I guess. But I want to. I need to. For me, I mean. I’m saving up for something.”

“A car?” Now, that I could understand.

“Sort of, yeah.”

“Me too. Though at the rate I’m going, I’ll be out of college by the time I scrape together enough for something that’s not a complete embarrassment.” I settled back against the wall, propping my feet on the shoe boxes I’d lined up neatly along the floor. “What kind of car do you want? Isn’t the Escape yours?”

“They’re more like community cars in my family, but I usually get dibs on it. The one I’m saving for is a vintage Mustang. My mom’s favorite.”

I couldn’t fathom what it would be like to lose my mom. All the attention she was heaping on the twins’ arrival might’ve been getting under my skin, but I couldn’t imagine life without her. “Do you miss her a lot?”

“All the time.” I heard him shift and figured he was on his bed. “She painted a picture right before she died. I have it in my room, so it’s the last thing I see every night.”

“The dandelion,” I said, as much to myself as to him.

Long pause. “How did you know?”

Oh, crap!
I almost did another forehead smack but heard a grin in his voice. “Have you been in my room, Jess?” he teased.

“It was maybe a teeny-weeny little peek at the overnight,” I said, feeling my face flush. “I didn’t go in or anything, but your door was open, and—”

“It’s okay.” Ryan chuckled. “It’s kinda cool, actually. Now I can lie here on my bed and imagine you standing in my doorway.” I heard the mattress squeak and visualized him stretched out with his arms behind his head. “Oh, yeah. I can see me getting a lot of mileage out of that image.”

My heart pitter-pattered at warp speed.

“What does your room look like?” he asked. “I want to picture it.”

I leaned around the closet door and took in the apple-green walls, obnoxious flowered comforter from fifth grade, and ancient white wicker furniture. Even
I
didn’t want to picture it. “It’s very girly.”
And babyish
. “It doesn’t really fit me anymore, but I haven’t gotten around to updating it. With all the moves, redoing my room was never a big priority.”

“Yeah, I can see that. My mom was big into decorating. She’d make our room a project with us every few years to make sure it reflected our personality. She was big on ‘the space makes the person’ and all that.”

I bet I would’ve liked her
. “What does your room say about you?”

I pictured him looking around his room, taking it in with fresh eyes, as I’d done with mine. “It’s calming. Just like she was. I can be sort of intense, so it works. I shut down when I get overwhelmed.”

“You’re hard to get to know.”

“Am I?”

I nodded as though he could see me. “I feel like I catch these glimpses of you, but most of what I come away with is surface.”

“Maybe it’s better that way.”

“Safer, maybe, but not better.”
Wasn’t it?

“You really get to the heart of it, don’t you?”

I cradled the phone on my shoulder and picked lint off my pink chenille robe. “I’m not big on games, I guess. Probably why I haven’t dated.”

“You haven’t dated?”

I could
not
believe I’d said that out loud! The exhaustion and easy conversation had lulled me into a false sense of security, wreaking havoc on my brain. “Well, plus, I move a lot, so it’s hard to get to know people.” Plaster that neon
LOSER
sign to my chest, thanks.

“Wow.” This news clearly blew him away. Nothing like clueing in a potential boyfriend that no one else wants you. At least I hadn’t mentioned that I’d pseudo-dated once. That debacle was the last thing Ryan needed to know about.

“Wow,” he said again. “That’s—”

Loserish
.

“—pretty cool,” he finished. “We’re going through this together.”

In what universe?
“You’ve had a million girlfriends. And that’s just since I moved here.”

“That was harsh. I’m not a player, Jess.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. But you’re a lot more experienced than I am.”

“Not when there’s a connection like this. That’s a first for me. It’s like …”

I thought of that scene in
Sleepless in Seattle
that always made Mom cry. “Magic.”

“What?”

Had I said
that
out loud too?! “Huh? Nothing. Just a yawn.”
Must shut mouth!

“Magic,” he said, trying it on for size. “Yeah.”

My skin tingled all the way to my toes.

I heard Ryan yawn, which made me yawn for real this time. “I’m glad you were still awake,” he said. “I never get tired of talking to you.”

“Same here.” I could talk to Ryan for hours. “I’m glad you called.”

“Me too. I have to get up early for work, so I’d better get going,” he said, his reluctance obvious enough to make me smile through my disappointment. “But Jess?”

“Yeah?”

“I hope you dream about the lake.”