The Cinderella Society (36 page)

“She needs to embrace her future.” I shrugged. “Who better to help with that than you?”

Sarah Jane had gone off to help her mom again, so Kyra, Gwen, and I hung out near the gazebo to watch the band set up. Dale played guitar, so I knew we’d be getting a front-row seat once the show started.

Dale tuned up, and they did a few bars from John Mayer’s “Neon” as warm-up.

“I like the acoustic version better.”

I jumped at the voice behind me, but the old shivers of excitement had been replaced by a wistfulness of what could’ve been.
Should’ve
been, if either of us had been strong enough.

I didn’t turn around. “Acoustic is always good. It gets to the soul of the song.”

“Sometimes acoustic is the braver choice.”

“Sometimes it’s worth it.”

Ryan was so close his breath tickled my hair. “Can we take a walk?”

We walked side by side without touching, but I still felt the pull. In time, that would go away too. I hoped.

We stopped by the fence, and Ryan turned. “I owe you an apology.”

“I’m listening.”

“You were right.” He took a deep breath and plowed ahead. “I panicked because you were getting too close. Things weren’t easy anymore, and I needed them to be. That’s kind of how I roll.”

“Easy is good. But it’s not always realistic.”

“I can’t be what you want me to be, Jess. I’m not that guy. But you didn’t deserve what happened. I should’ve come clean with you in the beginning.”

“Why didn’t you?”

He tucked his hands into his pockets and lifted a shoulder. “You overwhelmed me. I felt this amazing connection with you. And even though I knew I’d never be the kind of guy you deserved, I couldn’t bring myself to cut the tie.”

“So you set me up to be the scissors.”

“I’m not proud of it.” He kicked a stone through an opening in the chain-link fence. “I can’t change the past. I
would, though, if I could. I just thought you should know that.”

I ached to reach out to him but couldn’t open myself up to more rejection. “No,” I said. “You can’t change it.”

He looked at me then, and the pain was there, raw and uncensored. We both knew we were talking about more than just us.

“I thought about the tribute thing too,” he said. “I’m not sure I know how to do that, but it makes more sense than what I’ve been doing.”

I could help you
, I wanted to say.
Let me try
. But the words never left my mouth. “I’m glad.”

“So the thing is, I want another chance.” The old fence creaked as he leaned hard against it. “I don’t deserve one, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be good enough for you, but I want another chance anyway. If I’m too late, I’ll live with that. Either way, I wanted you to get an apology.”

“Why?”

“Why an apology?”

“Why do you want me?”

He looked at me as if I were mental. “Because you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

I didn’t even blink.

“Because when I’m with you, I can almost see the guy I used to be. That’s why I didn’t want to sit at the round tables on our first date. I didn’t want you to see that part of my life. I didn’t want it to scare you off. But I screwed up anyway, because I couldn’t get past it myself.” He looked away. “You make me want to be a better person just so I’m worthy of you. You’re beautiful and smart, you care about people, and you stand up for what you believe in. I’m in awe of you most of the time.”

“I’m flawed too, Ryan. I made a mess of my life trying
to be what other people wanted me to be. Or what I thought they wanted.” I shook my head. “I’ve done things I’m not proud of, and I’ve got a long road ahead of me to make it right again.”

“We could be flawed together.” He paused. “Unless you’re with Alec?”

“We’re just friends.”

Ryan looked hopeful, but I had to see this through. “I need to know one more thing,” I told him.

“Anything.”

“Why are you so different with me?” I braced myself for his answer. “Like the day at the banner party. I got all the intensity. But the minute you walked away, you had a smile for everyone who came your way. It’s like you save the best for everyone but me.”

He looked taken aback. “You honestly don’t know?”

Would I be asking if I did?

“Because you’re the only one I can be myself with. I don’t have to be
on
when I’m with you. I don’t have to pretend things are always okay.” He drew an arc in the dirt with the heel of his shoe. “That’s why I couldn’t take it when you tried to force the hero card. And then you started pretending to be something you weren’t because you thought that’s what
I
wanted?” He shook his head. “You stopped seeing me and only saw the fantasy you had in your head. It wasn’t real anymore.”

It hurt to hear him say the words. But I couldn’t deny he was right. “I admit I got caught up. But that doesn’t change what happened. The people you care about most deserve to be treated the best, Ryan. It’s not an optional thing.”

He flinched. “I know.”

“Everything fell apart because we both let it.” Maybe
if I’d trusted and given things more time, it wouldn’t have blown up in our faces. Or maybe it still would have. “If we let it, maybe that’s how it was meant to—”

“It
wasn’t
. “Ryan’s denial rang out before I’d even finished my thought. “I don’t believe that, and I don’t think you do either.”

I opened my mouth, then forced it closed. It was too easy to let it betray me.

He was right. I didn’t think that. At least, my heart didn’t.

“Look, Jess, I know this is a major long shot. But can we go back to the way things were before they fell apart?” He looked at me, the tenderness in his eyes weakening my resolve. “Being with you feels like coming home. I haven’t felt that in a long time.”

My mouth was already forming the word
yes
before my brain intercepted. The familiar battle of heart trying to override head. But I caught the word in time, despair twisting me up inside. “No.” I didn’t want to say it—I had to. “We can’t.”

“No.” He nodded, defeated. “I guess not.”

“We can’t go back, Ryan. Life isn’t like that. You can’t change the past, no matter how much it hurts. And you can’t fix what’s wrong by pretending it never happened.”

“What if I can’t fix it at all?”

This time, I did reach for him. He deserved to have hope. “You can. But you have to forgive yourself first. You’ll figure out the rest as you go.”

A warm wave of peace washed over me, one I’d begun to recognize. Maybe it was time to follow my own advice. And maybe, just maybe, it was time for another leap. “We can’t go back,” I said, gently squeezing his hand. “But maybe we could try again.”

Hope lit Ryan’s face. “Are you sure?”

“On one condition.”

“Name it.”

“I don’t want to pretend anymore. We accept each other at face value, or what’s the point?”

He thought about that for a minute. “Acceptance has to go both ways. You have to accept the good
and
the bad,” he emphasized.

Fair enough. “And if it doesn’t work, we call it off. No harm, no foul.”
Please don’t let that happen this time
.

It sounded so easy, like we were planning some project for school instead of opening up our lives to the possibility of more heartbreak. But love wasn’t always easy. I was pretty sure it was worth it, though.

Ryan lifted my hand in his and pressed his lips to it. “Agreed. But I think we need to seal the deal, just to be sure.”

The sinful smile on his face had my toes tingling before he even leaned in. He cupped my face in his hands, caressing my cheek with his thumb. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”

The kiss was incredibly soft and sweet, and I knew things were going to be alright. He deepened the kiss, and like flipping a switch, the magic flowed through us like it had been there all along. We’d been given a second chance. All we had to do now was make it work.

For two workaholics like us, that should be a no-brainer.

We walked slowly back toward the carnival, easing into a fresh start with eyes and hearts wide open. Ryan linked his fingers with mine, and it felt like everything good I’d ever wanted was finally within my grasp.

We neared the now-bustling midway, and Lexy caught my eye. She leaned against the snow-cone stand and watched
us, decidedly unthrilled with this latest turn of events. She looked at our hands and at me, her eyes narrowing into slits. And just like that, I arrived at the crossroads of my new life.

Heather might be safe for the moment, but other Reggies were still on Lexy’s radar. If I had to be the one to unite the Cindys and Reggies in a revolt to bring down the Wickeds, so be it. Was I up to the challenge? I had to believe I was. Or would be when the time came.

All I knew for sure was that with a movie star as a mentor, the prom queen as my fairy godmother, and a chance for a real-life fairy tale with my very own Prince Charming, no way was I backing down. Heather wasn’t the only one ready to embrace her future.

Lexy lifted her snow cone in mocking salute, and I knew that whatever she planned to dish out, I could take. Because that’s what Guardians did.

I inclined my head to show I’d accepted her challenge.

Bring it on, Ice Queen
.

Acknowledgments

Sometimes in life, people touch our lives without ever realizing it. Or if they realize it, they don’t fully understand the magnitude of how much they’ve helped us along the way.

Sending heartfelt thanks:

To Holly Root—for being Agent Extraordinaire. I’m so blessed to have a fabulous business partner who is also a lovely person (and who can always make me laugh). Thank heavens for you!

To Elizabeth Law—for being an amazing editor, exceptional helpmeet (I still love that word), and all-around brilliant publisher.

To Regina Griffin—for bringing me to Egmont’s attention and championing the story from the start. (I owe you one!)

To Mary Albi—for being one of the nicest and savviest marketing professionals I’ve ever met.

To the Egmont USA team—Doug Pocock, Nico Medina, Greg Ferguson, Rob Guzman, and Alison Weiss—for being enthusiastic cheerleaders for all of your authors. What an amazing team you’ve put together!

To the TCS design team—Lisa Overton, Alison Lew, and
Becky Terhune—for making this debut author’s dream come true with a truly gorgeous book.

To the incredibly talented authors whose work made me fall in love with the genre—Ann Brashares, Meg Cabot, Ally Carter, Julia DeVillers, Shannon Hale, J. K. Rowling, and Kieran Scott.

To my wonderful writing buddies, whose unwavering support, friendship, and humor have made this journey so enjoyable (even when it was nutty)—Tera Lynn Childs, Becca Fitzpatrick, Rachel Hawkins, Celesta Hofmann, Adrienne Hogan, Lindsey Leavitt, Jenn Stark, Leshia Stolt, and Wendy Toliver.

To my lovely friends who also lent their expertise to The Cinderella Society (any errors are mine!)—Kristina McMorris and Linda Yoshida for their assistance with all things Hawaiian and Japanese, Christina Diaz Gonzalez for her Cuban fabulousness, Nisha Sharma for being my go-to girl for Indian culture, Melissa Walker for her fashion savvy, Chelsea Campbell for her mad Latin skills, and Steve G. for answering my career questions at the eleventh hour.

To the fabulous Tenners, E-Nation Team, Success Sisterhood, and Pixie Chicks—I couldn’t be more thrilled to be traveling this road with you.

To Team Cindy—for really
getting
what The Cinderella Society is all about and embracing it in ways that make me burst with pride to call you Honorary Cindys.

To my family and friends—for love and cheers and having faith that I could do it.

To my very own real-life Charming, (aka my husband)—for unconditional love and support and so much laughter. I couldn’t have done this without you, nor would I have wanted to.

To the wonderful and utterly amazing JW—SHMILY.

To Girl Scouts
^®
, Girls Inc.
^®
, and the Dove
^®
Campaign for Real Beauty
—for their research on self-esteem and body image and their extraordinary commitment to helping girls embrace their full potential. Your work changes lives.

And finally, a big thank-you to the author of a short newspaper column back in the mid-’80s that eventually gave birth to the Cindys’ Rule of Fives. I’ve looked far and wide for the author’s name to give proper credit, but to no avail. Wherever you are, thank you! (And thanks, Mom, for passing along that gem to the drama queen that was teenaged me.)

KAY CASSIDY
is the author of teen fiction she wishes were based on her real life. She is a former college cheerleader and sorority alum, an MBA, and a member of Mensa. Kay is also the founder of the national Great Scavenger Hunt Contest
^TM
reading program for kids and teens and the host of the inspirational Living Your Five
^TM
Web project. She hopes that
The Cinderella Society
, her first novel, will inspire readers to embrace their inner Cindy.