The Closer You Get (5 page)

Maybe she should put out a little more effort. She had nice hair; there was no reason always to keep it pulled back in a ponytail. There was a nice wave to it when she let it down. She ran her fingers through her hair and tossed it side to side. She pushed it all up on top of her head and checked out different angles. Then she brushed it all over to the side.
 

She stopped with the hair and looked at her breasts. If she’d ever given them any thought, it was only to lament, in a passing moment, that they weren’t bigger. But upon a further appraisal, they weren’t bad. They were round and perky. She put her hands at the sides and pushed them up, trying to imagine what she would look like with cleavage. She could accomplish cleavage if she wanted. With the right bra.

She lifted her arms over her head and turned to the side sucking in her tummy, checking out her ass. Maybe she should start lifting weights. She went to the gym three times a week already. Maybe she should up her game. It wasn’t a bad body, really. Maybe nothing like her sisters. Maybe she’d never be the stunner that her mother had been and still was. But she was functional and not ugly. Why shouldn’t a man want to touch her?

She dropped her arms and looked at her face. Smiled a little. He’d liked her dimples. And now it was time to go to bed and quit acting like a school girl.
 

A
DAM
COULDN
’
T
RECALL
being this excited about a date in years. He’d dressed nicely in slacks and a sports jacket, just as any normal person would dress for a date. He’d gelled his hair into just the right style and admired himself in the mirror. Then he remembered who he was going out with. A tall, macho, flannel-and-jeans kind of guy. Not at all the type of man Adam had dated in the past. Todd had been a dandy like himself. This was all new territory.

Adam shrugged out of the jacket and button-down and then dug in his dresser for his oldest t-shirt, a Vanderbilt Commodores shirt he’d worn to basketball games back in college. He found his rattiest jeans, which were still likely nicer than anything Cash would be wearing.
 

Cash. What a cowboy name. Adam took a moment to envision him as he’d been two days ago, striding from his truck across the highway, dark sunglasses, and his sun-kissed hair blowing back in the wind. His expression had been hard, his jaw strong, his smile reserved. A real cowboy. Adam sighed.

He grabbed his keys and loped down the steps outside his apartment, hopped in his car, and headed to the bar. He bobbed his head to Maroon 5 on the radio and savored the excitement of the moment. Oh, the possibilities. Maybe he could get Cash into his apartment. Maybe he could get Cash into his bed. This let’s-go-slow routine couldn’t possibly last. Cash wanted him just as badly as he wanted Cash. Adam was certain of it.

He arrived at the bar before his date did and went in to snag a table. He was surprised to see Cora sitting at the bar drinking. Alone. He didn’t immediately recognize her. Her back was to him and her hair was down. He moved up beside her and took a handful of her hair, lifted it, and let it drift back to her shoulders. “This is different,” he said.

She looked embarrassed. “Just thought I’d try something new. Those ponytails give me headaches.”

“Are you wearing lip gloss?”

Her hand went to cover her lips. “No,” she said.

Well she was, but she clearly didn’t want to talk about it. Probably better he didn’t ask about the mascara, either. Still, for her to doll herself up like this was extremely out of character. “So what brings you out tonight?” he asked, taking note of the strappy sandals she wore. They were clearly at least fifty years old, but still dressier than normal. Jeans and a babydoll t-shirt…much more feminine than usual. This could be a very good thing, depending on what was prompting this new behavior.

“I just felt like having a drink.”

Adam was leaning with his back against the bar so he could watch her and the door. Rye Holcomb strolled in. His eyes swept the room. They landed on Cora, and she seemed to feel them. She turned, and Adam saw her eyes light up, though she controlled the rest of her expression. Rye didn’t smile. He nodded to her and continued looking around. He honed in on a group of three women—bimbos by all appearances—playing darts. He bee-lined for them and, in a matter of seconds, had them hanging all over him.
 

Cora went back to staring down at her beer.
 

“Everything okay, sweetheart?” Adam asked.

She smiled, flashing her dimples. “Everything’s great.” And if she weren’t his best friend since they were five, he might’ve believed her. “If you don’t mind, Adam, I really just want to be alone. You know, lose myself in the crowd. That sort of thing.”

Beyond her, Adam could see Rye holding the most buxom of the three women with her back against him, showing her how to throw darts. His hand was on her stomach and her head was back against is shoulder as she laughed gaudily at something he’d said. In that moment, for Cora’s sake, Adam hated her. He was also starting to hate Rye. “Cora, why don’t you come sit with me and Cash?”

“I don’t want to!” she snapped. Her spine was stiff but she forced herself to smile. “I’m fine, Adam. I just want to be by myself.”

“Rye’s an asshole.”

Her smile vanished and she glared at him. “Yeah. So?”

“So if you came here for him—”

“I didn’t, Adam. I really didn’t, okay? I came here for a drink. And I thought maybe…maybe I’d leave my hair down. And maybe fix myself up a little. And maybe someone might come hit on me or something. I’ve never really put myself out there. I think I’d like to try harder at that from now on. That’s all, honest.”

He searched her eyes for a long moment before relaxing. “Okay, Cora. I’m glad you’re cutting loose a little. If you change your mind, come sit with us.”

She glanced over her shoulder as the door opened again. “Your date’s here.”

Adam beamed as Cash came in, wearing beat-up jeans, a t-shirt, and an old ball cap, which he scooped off his head. Cash ran his hand through his hair and looked around.
 

“See ya,” Adam said to Cora. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and then went to greet Cash.
 

They took a table off in the corner. “Looks like my brother’s found his entertainment for the evening,” Cash said.

“He always like that?” Adam asked, trying not to sound angry.

“Ever since he broke up with Beth. Which was three years ago. He doesn’t seem to want anything serious.”

“He seems to want to treat women like playthings, but if you’re okay with that.”

“Whoa. Wow. What’s with the hostility?” Cash’s blue eyes were wide with a wary sort of amusement.

Adam shrugged. “I just think he’s a grown man and to behave that way…”

Cash laughed. “I guess I’m glad you’ve got such strong moral fiber. But could we not talk about my brother tonight?”

Adam relaxed and smiled. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Here I’ve got hot prospects and I’m worrying about…” he trailed off and glanced over his shoulder at Cora. She’d been joined by Lyssa and they were laughing about something. Good. He didn’t want her to be alone.
 

“I assure you, you don’t have hot prospects,” Cash said. His eyes followed Adam’s gaze, but he prudently didn’t mention it. “Unless going home alone and curling up with a good book is your idea of a hot prospect.”

“It isn’t. I’ve got much more exciting ideas in mind.” A waitress brought them their beer, and Adam settled back in his chair. “So what do you say? You wanna come to my apartment after this?”

“Nope.”

Adam dropped his head back. “You’re starting to hurt my feelings.”

Cash snorted. “I doubt that.”

“You don’t think I have feelings?”

The levity died when he looked into Cash’s eyes. There was an intensity, there, he hadn’t known before. This in combination with Cash’s hard, masculine good looks left Adam feeling suddenly intimidated. All he’d been able to think about since meeting the guy was getting him into bed. Now, for the first time, he wondered if he’d be able to handle him once he got him there.
 

Cash’s gaze wandered. “You look good,” he said. “Dressed like a normal person.”

Adam’s heart rate kicked up, and he felt his face turn red.
 

Cash grinned. “Blushing like a little girl.”

“Shut up. It’s hot in here.”

Cash winked and took a drink of his beer.

“I don’t know how you managed to get the upper hand in this conversation, but I’m going to get it back.”

Cash just hit him with those eyes and sent his heart racing again. He loved this strong and silent thing. He’d never met a real John Wayne type. Suddenly, Cash switched back into conversational mode. “So what kind of law do you practice?”

“Family law. But I do a little bit of everything. Fidelity is small. There’s only me and this other civil litigator, Micah Derrick. Who is hot, by the way. Come by for some eye candy sometime if you want. He’s unfortunately very straight. And married. But very pretty to look at.”

“Why’d you go into law?”

“Because I’m smart, I had the grades for it, and it’s what my parents wanted me to do.”

Cash gave him a half-grin. “What are you, twenty-eight? Why not do something you want to do?”

“Well, it turns out I like it. I thought about rebelling just for the hell of it, but law’s a good fit for me. And I’d already disappointed my poor parents enough with being gay and all.”

“They ever get over that?”

“Oh yeah,” Adam said. He frowned down at the table, remembering those difficult teenage years. “They put me in therapy when I was thirteen. Spent a few years trying different things. They finally accepted that they couldn’t change me…they figured that out before college. I brought home my first boyfriend sophomore year and they were really great about it. You could tell they were uncomfortable, but they eased up real fast.”

“Your first boyfriend. Was it serious?”

“Nah, it lasted a few weeks. Then I met Todd. That was serious. Went about two years.”

“What happened?”

“We graduated law school. Went to Memphis together. I stayed for a few months. But this is home. I asked him if he wanted to come with me, but for him, that was home. It’s only a few hours away, so we tried the distance thing. But eventually it just fell apart. I think he was seeing someone else there toward the end.”

“Must’ve hurt.”

“It did. But these things happen.” He looked up at Cash and smiled. “No serious relationships since then. What about you? Any lost loves I should know about?”

“Nothing but one-night stands on my record.”

“Well, I’m going to change that. There’s no way I could do everything I want to do with you in just one night.”

It was Cash’s turn to blush. He grinned and looked away.

“Tell me about your parents,” Adam asked.
 

Cash cleared his throat. “You want my coming out story?”

“Yeah.”

He cleared his throat again. “Well, I was twenty-one. I’d never been attracted to girls, but I dated them because that’s what my older brothers did. I was with my girlfriend at a bar the first time I realized there was something wrong with me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you.”

“That’s not how I felt at the time. So I was at this bar with this totally hot girl who gave it up to me anytime I wanted, and all I could think was how much I wanted in the pants of this guy across the room. I took my girl home later and closed my eyes and thought of that guy while I fucked her. The next day I broke up with her. Took a few weeks to get my shit together. Then when I was ready, I found a time when my whole family was together. Some Sunday dinner, I don’t remember the occasion. Mom and Dad, my two older brothers and my younger sister.”

“You hadn’t told Rye? As close as you two are?”

“We got close after. Actually, I thought he’d take it the hardest. He’s the macho man of the crew. Scott’s pretty tough, but Rye’s, like, John Wayne.”

Adam smiled at the familiar comparison.
 

“So anyway, I just told them I needed to explain something. I told them how I felt more attracted to men than women. How I was sure I was gay and wasn’t sure how they would feel. That I loved them and hoped this wouldn’t change how they felt about me. For Mom and Candace…well, they cried. They asked a lot of questions. But then they hugged me and promised they’d come to terms with it and nothing would change. Scott looked at me like I had some sort of disease. I just remember Rye standing with his back to me, looking out the window. Chewing gum. He was always chewing gum.” He smiled to himself.

Adam wanted to touch him, but he didn’t want to jeopardize his chances of hearing the rest of the story. “And your dad?”

Cash gave a bitter laugh. “He grabbed me by the front of my shirt, jerked me to my feet, and told me he’d never been so sick with disappointment in his life. He told me he wasn’t going to be father to some fag fuck and to either stop being queer or get the hell out of his house. At which point Rye stepped in and asked Dad to settle down so we could talk things out. I just sat down in shock. Mom and Candace were on either side of me. I’m not sure how Rye and Dad ended up fighting, but it got really bad. I tried for about two weeks to reconcile things with the old man, but he wouldn’t budge. And Rye was beyond forgiving him. You know…” Cash sat back and frowned at the space in front of him.

“What?” Adam asked. He had one elbow on the table, his chin resting on his fist.
 

“I never did find out how Rye felt about me back then. He never said. But he took me in and we’ve lived together ever since. He’s never seemed to have a problem when I bring a guy home. He even took me to a gay bar for my birthday one year. Which was funny because he got more phone numbers than me.”
 

Adam laughed at the image of Rye flirting with other guys. “Maybe he’s in the closet.”

“No way. He loves breasts. Can’t keep his eyes off of them. Salivates like a dog over a steak.”