The Cold Nowhere (32 page)

‘We’re canvassing the neighbors to see if anyone saw the Charger coming or going. There aren’t a lot of people up here, but that means neighbors tend to notice things.’

Serena studied the modest rambler, which was now ablaze with lights as the crime scene team explored the house. ‘Why’d he pick this house, anyway?’

Stride shrugged. ‘Half the people in Duluth know that Wally and Ruth are snowbirds and that their house is empty all winter. Wally has been on the Rotary for decades. Ruth’s been a hospital volunteer at St. Luke’s as long as I can remember.’

Serena shook her head. ‘We’ve got nothing. Nothing except bodies. This guy is two steps ahead of us everywhere we go.’

Stride couldn’t disagree with her. He felt as if someone were playing games with them, throwing up red herrings and misdirections to lead them everywhere but where they needed to go. This man was inside their heads. Kim Dehne gets killed with a knife, like Vincent Roslak. The knife vanishes and then shows up in Dory’s apartment. The evidence leads them away, while the killer calmly goes back to finding Cat.

Why?

He saw Max Guppo waddling toward them across the frozen lawn, looking like an oversized version of the mayor of Munchkin City. Same comb-over. Same mustache. Same thunderous waistline. He’d known Guppo as long as he’d been with the Duluth Police, and he didn’t think he’d ever met a kinder soul. He also knew that Serena had Guppo wrapped around her pretty finger.
Whenever he smelled snickerdoodles in the office, he knew that Duluth Police secrets were spilling across the county line to Grand Rapids.

‘How are you, Max?’ Serena greeted him. ‘Hey, you’ve lost a little weight, haven’t you?’

Stride rolled his eyes at her. ‘Shameless.’

Guppo’s face, which was already red from the cold, brightened at the compliment. He was a happily married father of five, but he was a sucker for Serena’s smile. ‘Actually, I’m down ten pounds.’

‘Good for you! How are the kids?’

‘They’re super. The oldest, Gina, is playing Division One volleyball at Iowa State.’

‘You guys must be really proud.’

‘Uh, Max?’ Stride said, interrupting the lovefest. ‘You want to tell me what’s going on?’

Guppo tugged at his uniform, which was snug despite any weight he’d lost. ‘Oh, sure, the girl? You know, Cat? The hospital released her. One of our people was going to take her back to your place, but she refused to go. She insisted on coming here. She’s in the back of your truck.’

‘How is she?’

‘Pretty shaken up.’

‘I’ll go talk to her,’ Stride said.

Serena wiggled her fingers at Guppo to say goodbye as the oversized cop retraced his steps to the crime scene. Stride zipped up his leather jacket and took a look at the highway through the trees. His Expedition was parked on the shoulder behind Guppo’s patrol car.

‘You want me to come with you?’ Serena asked.

‘No, I’ll do it. You know, I never get flattery from you. How does Guppo rate?’

‘Well, he’s much sweeter than you are, Jonny.’

‘That’s true.’

Stride hiked up the driveway in the trampled path that had been made by his officers. When the wind blew, snow sprayed from the evergreen branches overhead and trickled down his back in cold streaks. At Martin Road, he crossed to the opposite side and opened the rear door of his truck and slid inside. The interior was cold, and Cat sat in the far corner, wrapped in a tan Mexican blanket that Cindy had given him almost twenty years ago. The girl’s skin was pink and scrubbed; her hair had been washed. There were no traces of her aunt’s death clinging to her body.

Her eyes were distant and sad.

‘You found Margot?’ she said.

Stride nodded.

Cat sat in silence and chewed her nail, staring at the lights and the silhouettes of the police officers moving back and forth through the night like soldiers. Flares and parked squad cars closed the road in both directions. Finally, she said, ‘Are you afraid of dying, Stride?’

‘I’m not looking forward to it,’ he replied.

‘I saw Dory die. Right in front of me. She was alive, and then she was dead.’

‘I know.’

‘I can’t stop thinking about it. I keep seeing her face.’

He didn’t know what to say. He’d been in her shoes many times, watching life become death. There was no way to comfort her.

‘What do you think it’s like?’ she asked. ‘Being dead, I mean. Is that all there is?’

‘I wish I knew, Cat.’

‘My mother used to tell me about heaven. She said if I was good, and I prayed, I would go to heaven. She made it sound so beautiful. Do you think my mother’s in heaven?’

‘If there’s a heaven, I’m sure Michaela is there,’ Stride told her.

‘But you don’t think it exists.’

‘I hope it does, but I let God worry about things like that. I worry about the world down here.’

‘Even if it does exist, I’ll never get in,’ Cat said.

‘Why do you say that?’

‘Me? I’m just a whore.’

He reached out and cupped her chin with his hand. ‘What you were is behind you. You’re young, and you’re going to have a child, and you have your whole life ahead of you.’

Cat sniffled and wiped a hand across her face. ‘It doesn’t matter. I don’t think it exists, anyway. There’s no heaven. It’s just a lie that people tell. I think death is nothing but a cold nowhere.’

Stride slid across the seat. He wrapped Cat up in his arms. Her eyes were open, but she’d run out of tears.

‘My mother’s gone. My father’s gone. Now Dory’s gone, too. I have nobody.’

She said it matter-of-factly. That was what made his heart break. It had become so commonplace to her. He took a deep breath and thought about Cindy. Her voice was still vivid to him, when she woke him up in the middle of the night. So earnest. So sure she’d found the answer.
Maybe we were meant to rescue someone else’s child
.

‘I won’t let you be alone, Cat. That’s a promise.’

Cat said nothing. She didn’t know what it meant for him to say those words. She couldn’t afford to believe him, anyway. This was a girl for whom promises were empty.

‘Get some rest if you can,’ he told her. ‘We’ll be here for several more hours. Serena will take you to see Steve in the morning. Your baby’s the most important thing. Okay?’

She nodded with her head against his chest. He felt her relax just a little. When he eased away from her, she held onto his hand.

‘Do you think you can be a good person and do something really bad?’ she asked.

‘I hope so. I’ve done some bad things myself.’

‘Me, too. I was so angry with Dory, but then I thought, who am I to judge her? She always protected me. It doesn’t matter what she did in the past. I guess I was just angry at my father all over again.’

Stride frowned. ‘Your father? Why him?’

‘Dory told me something. He paid her a lot of money to sleep with him. She kept it a secret from me all these years, because she felt so guilty. If it were me, I probably would have done the same thing. If someone gave me five hundred dollars, you think I’d say no? I’m not sure I would.’

‘When was this?’

‘Right before my mother and father died.’ She saw the grimness take hold in Stride’s face, and she said, ‘What? What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing,’ he said.

‘Do you think it means something that Dory slept with my father?’

‘I think it meant something to Dory. She had trouble living with it. Beyond that, no. I heard you say that you forgave her for what she did. That’s the end of it. You can let it go.’

‘Okay.’

‘Get some rest,’ he repeated.

He eased her against the cushions of the seat, and she was asleep before he even adjusted the blanket on top of her. Her face was angelic. He smiled, looking at her, but he didn’t feel like smiling at all. He was suddenly deeply troubled.

It didn’t matter that Dory had slept with Marty. It didn’t even surprise him. It was exactly the kind of cruel, manipulative thing that Michaela’s ex-husband would do, just for the pleasure of demeaning another human being. What troubled him was that he knew Marty Gamble inside and out. He knew everything about him. He could practically account for every minute of his days. Where he worked. Where he ate. Where he drank. The clothes he
wore. The money going in and out of his checking account. He knew it all.

There was no way – no way – that Marty Gamble should have had five hundred dollars to pay Dory for sex.

Steve Garske poked Serena in the shoulder. ‘Wake up, sleepy-head.’

Serena blinked. Moments earlier, she’d been reading a copy of
People
magazine in the clinic lounge as Cat went inside to the examining room with Steve. Looking at the clock, she realized that nearly an hour had gone by, and she was stretched out on the sofa with her head on a throw pillow. Her long hair was a rat’s nest.

‘Is it still April?’ she asked.

‘Last time I checked,’ Steve said, ‘although you wouldn’t know it from the weather. It’s eighteen degrees out there. So much for global warming.’

‘I moved from Las Vegas for this paradise,’ Serena said blearily, covering a yawn with her hand. ‘How’s Cat?’

Steve still wore his lab coat, with a stethoscope slung around his neck. ‘Physically, she’s fine. Mentally, well, that’s another story. She’s really upset.’

‘She had a bad night,’ Serena said.

‘I heard.’

Serena pushed herself up on the sofa and stretched her arms over her head. She saw the Caribbean glow on Steve’s skin. ‘Nice tan,’ she said.

‘I don’t tan. I burn. Anyway, it’s fading already. Soon I’ll be a white ghost like everyone else around here.’ He added, ‘It’s good to see you, Serena. I’ve missed you down at Amazing Grace this winter. I always throw in a Terri Clark song just for you.’

‘Yeah, sorry, I haven’t been in town much.’

‘But you’re back?’

‘I’m here now,’ she said.

His face had a sly smirk. ‘So what’s new with you?’

‘You mean, like, are you getting enough fiber in your diet? Are you still renting DVDs from Netflix? Or do you mean, what’s up between you and Jonny? You are an incorrigible gossip, Dr. Garske.’

‘I am,’ Steve agreed, ‘but since you brought it up, are you guys a couple again?’

‘We’re talking. We’re working together. We’ll see how it goes. I won’t deny that it’s nice to be with him.’

‘Have you slept with him yet?’

‘Jesus, Steve!’

‘Hey, if you can’t tell your doctor, who can you tell?’

‘You’re not my doctor.’

‘Fine, I’m his doctor. It’s a professional inquiry. Sex is good cardiovascular activity.’

‘If you remember, lack of sex wasn’t his problem,’ Serena said sourly. ‘It was who he was having sex with.’

‘Point taken. Sorry. If it weren’t for the whole do-no-harm oath, I would have kicked his ass when he told me about it. Speaking of your romantic rival, I heard that Maggie was in a car accident last night. Is she okay?’

‘She’s fine. You can only kill the undead with a stake through the heart.’ Serena yawned again and realized what she’d said. ‘I’m sorry, did that come out as bitchy as it sounded?’

‘Pretty much.’

‘Well, she’s fine.’

‘I’m relieved,’ Steve said. ‘I love her, but I knew she and Stride were a train wreck. I’m really glad you and he are trying to work things out.’

‘You never quit, do you?’

Steve mussed his blond hair. ‘Nope. Dr. Lovelorn, that’s me.’

‘Uh huh. Don’t quit your day job, Doc. Can I go get Cat?’

‘Sure, go on back.’

Serena stood up. ‘Tell me something, Steve. Back when Jonny and Cindy were trying to have kids, was he really on board with it? Or was it what Cindy wanted?’

‘Sorry, kiddo, I can’t say anything about that. They were both patients.’

‘I know. Never mind.’

‘What about you? Did you and Stride ever talk about kids?’

‘I can’t have kids.’

‘I realize that, but that’s not the only way.’

Serena shrugged. ‘We didn’t really talk about it. It was easier not to talk about a lot of things. That was part of our problem.’

‘I hear you, but it doesn’t have to stay that way for ever. You know, Stride wasn’t always closed off the way he is now. He used to be pretty cocky. Much more like a cowboy. When Cindy died, he didn’t feel invincible anymore.’

It was like playing a record with a skip in it. The same note, over and over in her ears. ‘Yeah, I know, Cindy was the love of his life. Me, I’m Nancy Kerrigan, skating for the silver medal.’

‘That wasn’t what I meant at all,’ Steve said.

‘Doesn’t matter. It’s true.’

‘Actually, it’s a big load of self-pitying crap, Serena Dial.’

She laughed. ‘Yeah, maybe.’

‘Look, I’ve known Stride practically my entire life. I knew him with Cindy. I knew him with that disaster of a second wife of his, Andrea. I’ve known him with you. Was he happy with Cindy? Absolutely. It’s pretty damn easy to be happy when you’re young. But to be happy again, to fall in love again, after you’ve been through what he went through? That’s a hell of a steep climb. And that’s what I saw with him and you.’

Serena patted him on the cheek. ‘You’re a smoothie.’

‘Yes, I am.’

‘You need a girl, Steve.’

‘What makes you think I don’t have a little beach bunny down in Nassau?’

‘Do you?’

‘Nah, I just go for the pina coladas and the music. I’m married to my work. And my guitar.’

‘Next gig, I’m there,’ Serena promised. ‘I have to get Cat.’

She squeezed Steve’s shoulder and headed for the examining room. She knocked, but there was no answer from inside so she pushed the door open. Cat sat on the edge of the table, her stockinged feet dangling. She was dressed in a medical gown, open in the back, revealing the bare curve of her spine. She obviously hadn’t moved since Steve left the room.

‘Cat? You okay?’

The girl didn’t answer. Serena slipped inside and shut the door behind her.

‘Steve says you’re doing great. That’s good news.’

Cat shrugged. ‘I guess.’

‘Are you thinking about Dory? I’m sorry. It was an awful thing to go through.’

‘It’s not just that,’ she said.

‘Then what?’

Cat pointed at a chair against the wall, where her clothes were neatly folded. A large, over-stuffed manila envelope sat on top of her sweatshirt. ‘Dr. Steve gave me a bunch of brochures and books and stuff. What to eat. What not to eat. Vitamins and exercises. What’s happening inside my body. He told me what to expect month by month.’