The Collected Poems of Ted Berrigan (14 page)

if you are a monkey                

I am not a monkey

I do not have a monkey on my back

I am not a monkey’s uncle

turn page

19

Only a monkey would read this

THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF FLIES

over 250 flies

photographed

in living color

These 250 flies were tied “up”

executed

by hand

Not my hand

The Little Sisters

20

There are no flies on me, New York City

oh

21

There are, however,

two sorts of landscapes here

the interior

and

the exterior

as well as the other

which we will not go into here

22

One song I have always liked

is

“Hope you Happy Monkey”

that’s the truth

by Ruth Krauss

23

There you are

There I go

past The Majestic Men’s Clothes

slightly disheveled

is a nice phrase

it has impact

like the three pricks

Alice gave

Joe Gould

in 1933

MOTHER

that’s Alice’s idea of Wonderland

24

She happens to be a sex expert, among other things

if you are squeamish I’d better not tell you

WHAT
other things . . .

“How did Red China get the ‘O’ bomb?”

no one knows

No one will ever know

because no one

is a tautology

let’s have no truck

with tautologies

25

This poem

has no truck

although it does provide

a sort of Reader’s Digest

of Oriental sex practices

under the sheets

Who threw the panties into

Mother’s tea

is a good example of one

of the many unanswered questions

life provides

Where did the beautiful

British secret agent

lose his nightie

is another

it was not a majestic nightie

nor was it a man’s nightie

unless of course

the Beautiful British

secret agent

was a female impersonator

Perhaps that was his secret

There has always been a

quick turnover

among British secret agents

Look!   there goes one now

26

I am here today             a gentleman

with time on my hands

you are in my heart

during

The Four Seasons

which are

1. springtime

2. bedtime

and so on

27

There is a revolution going on in my skin

I have the gift of young skin

no pimples

which is why I am here today

I would like to introduce myself

However

it will be better

between us

if I don’t                                                               cheat

The victory is not always to the sweet

so keep on the ball, buddy, i.e.

I mean “the button”

28

COME ALIVE

Meet Me At The Smoke Ring

(Get Your Piles Out of Vietnam

Let’s Love One Another)

(Equality for Homosexuals)

YES

SUCK

Stand Up For Dikes

Commemorating The Visit

of Pope Paul X                          We Won’t Go

to NYC

1965                                          I’m for Legalized

Abortion

NO MAN IS GOOD THREE TIMES

29

Life certainly is marvelous

When you’re in love

isn’t it?

Consequently, it is important

to be in love

most all the time

but not all of the time

When you are in love

all of the time

you get bored                           because

life

when it’s always the same

is boring

isn’t it?

that’s a strange theory

30

it’s a theory of strange

I am in love

right now. I am in love with

(fill in name of person in room)

see me about this later, (                                             )

I am not in love with Mr. Walter Steck

He was or

was not

recently elected

to the assembly

Just for the record             I found Mr. Walter Steck

recently

at five o’clock in the afternoon

on García Lorca’s birthday

lying in the gutter

on his button          
shame

31

O ship of states

Sail on, O allegorical poem

32

Branching out

shooting all night

he grounded

himself

on the button

33

so here

you stand

hitting upon things

you hadn’t thought upon

when you get into the pictures

you wake up

inside an oval

portrait

I mean a woman

A beautiful reminder sitting on a line

It could be a steamship line        or even a ferry line

34

Life is Never boring when you are Tarzan of the Apes

e.g.     You step out from behind a bush

and you say

“Yes, I am M’sieur Tarzan”

35

Dick Gallup arrives at this point

and says

“Life is Boring”

36

Jacques-Louis David is crying in his crib

he is not bored

Jane has given him a banana

37

Dick reads those lines

they bore him

but I laugh plenty

38

David is sobbing bitterly

in the jungle

“Shut up

or I’ll kill you,” etc.

He doesn’t want to

39

He wants the white

tempera

paint

with which I am painting out the words

in this here comic book

“Tarzan of the Apes”

so that I can “fill in the words”

40

“The Words” is a good book

is is the autobiography of Mr. Jean-Paul Sartre

from age zero to ten

In it

he tells what a little shit he was.

“I’m going doo-doo” says Jacques-Louis David

we have words

and he falls into sleep

41

Life is long

it’s sure been a long Times

crossword puzzle

since I last

was here

That Spring of ’65

that was

That was my best year

that was also a good year for

Dancers

Buildings and

People in the Street

in the cell block

a boy

invented

the mahogany cage

before he rested

The climate became a song

Crowds disperse my

purpose

my great calm

Dim lights

turn me down

the radio parts

the curly hair

me on the floor

saying

42

“Go now

and get me a vast Band-aid”

43

I’m sitting here thinking that these words that I have been

borrowing from Mr. James “The Rock” Proust & son

should stretch to the end of at least one

period in my life.

They did.

44

“What I really like is new girls to fuck.”

that’s a good line

it was said by Dick Gallup

who let it drop there

that to be explained later

in the backroom

of The Peace Eye

that’s all I know

45

Cow a is not Cow b

Dick

Count Korzybski said that

that Polish cocksucker

is what a drunk called
HIM

He didn’t mean Korzybski

though

He’d never heard of Him

I don’t know what he meant

I was drunk

He was speaking Polish

He didn’t dig Counts

That’s a fact

46

According to
FACT

William Burroughs

studied under

that Polish cocksucker

in Chicago

I’ve always admired Count Korzybski

and, in fact, I’ve always admired William Burroughs

Hi Bill!

I do not, however, admire
FACT
Magazine

because it costs too much money

and probably for other reasons

too vague to be present

47

dot dot dot

48

Listen

Is there a
Pseudotsuga Menziesii

in your house?

if so, there is

nothing to worry about

it would be hard to find

a house

in America

where
Pseudotsuga Menziesii
isn’t

all over the goddam place

it has a lovely talent

49

cross something out here

50

Imagine yourself

driving on a super highway

with your friend

Mr. Bob Harris

besides being a genius

he is also a perennial

problem child

who mooches off his friends

sleeps with any available women

ignores his children

and smokes ceaselessly

like yourself

you may have to stop often

to relieve yourself

because your friend

suffers

from a terrible disease previously unmentioned

but not in this poem

nor by anyone whom you have ever known

in this vale of tears

51

back on the freeway                       the cars pass

over your eyes ears nose and throat                       and hairs

no interviews                      no photographs

no autographs

in this dream

which is so realistic

you can almost hear my voice

at your ear

which is on the level of your back,

dear

52

Fish and Cheep Pet Shoppe

The Pioneer

Block Drug                                                          Manhattan

Fox’s Corner

Martha’s

are all places I have never visited

though I keep meaning to

53

Italy is a boot in the atlas

The snowball centuries rolling

collect only the tiny footprints of

hens

the burning bush attracts

the hen

One comes to take one’s

place in the sun, only

to smother inside the

hide of a hen

54

COME IN
!

Hello Lee                              Mr. Lee Crabtree

of The Fugs

just came in

55

Rhetoric

is what we make

out of our quarrels

with others

out of

our quarrels with ourselves

we make poetry

Yes, that is true,

56

In my house, every cloud

has a silver lining

there is only one cloud in my house

Inside that cloud is a joke

it is not an inside joke

57

on every mirror

in my house

is a big kiss

placed there by Mr. Joe Brainard

•

it’s very exciting

not to be asleep now

•

58

If Joe Brainard were here now

he’d be excited

about giving me those kisses

that’s a lie

clickety-clack               William Saroyan

59

What we do in life

in New York City

in 1965

we get the money

60

GET THE MONEY
!

that was Damon Runyon’s favorite expression

the heat is coming on

like gangbusters

(A. Partridge

History of American Climate)

I guess that means

it’s time to burst,

eh,

M’sieur Cloud?

61

Speaking of Picasso, he once sd

that for him

true friendship cannot exist

without the possibility of

sex

That is true

I have many men friends

I would like to fuck

However, I am unable to do so

because I am not a homosexual

fortunately

this makes my life complex

rather than simple

and vice versa

62

Dream on O impudent virgin

Guillaume Apollinaire

you too are aware of the duality of nature and of

the spirit

and you too prefer the visible

to the invisible

I salute You!

(Salutes)

63

the true Guillaume

is a great deal more interesting

than many of those people

whose misfortune it is

not to be so true

64

the logic of that is

lost

but may be recovered

in the theory of Mr. A. N. Whitehead to the effect

that a human being

may possess two kinds of perception / that

as it were

work from opposite ends.

(breathing)

65

So, in conclusion, may I say

that this is what life is like here

you drink some coffee, you get some sleep

everything is up in the air

especially us, who are me

66

Now

in the middle of this

someone I love is dead

and I don’t even know

“how”

I thought she belonged to me

How she filled my life when I felt empty!

How she fills me now!

67

games of cribbage

with Dick

filled this afternoon

do you

understand that?

68

What

excitement!

crossing Saint Mark’s Place

face cold in air

tonight

when

that girlish someone waving

from a bicycle