The Collected Works of Chögyam Trungpa: Volume 6 (27 page)

It is important to see that this journey is a lonely journey. We are alone, completely alone, by ourselves. Nobody is really, fundamentally, going to comfort us at all. For that matter, nobody is really going to show us the path. There are a lot of big deals. People make a big deal about transmission or sudden enlightenment—but even that is interdependent. Transmission is a meeting of two minds: you come halfway, the teacher comes halfway, and you meet. It is very much dependent on personal effort. So any kind of savior notion is not going to function one hundred percent at all. Transmission has to be interdependent because we are trying to relate with something. As soon as we decide to relate with anything, there has to be judgment, relative criteria: how we are going to relate, how open we are, how much ground we are allowing to relate to the space. That is always apparent, it always happens that way.

In the same way, as we relate more, external situations come to us. We begin to learn; we begin to receive the instructions of the situation as it is. But we can’t re-create such situations at all. Situations come up and vanish of their own accord, and we have to work along with them by not grasping, by not being fascinated by them. That doesn’t mean that we have to be frigid, or rigid for that matter, and fail to communicate with situations. It seems that the whole thing is extremely simple. Therefore, it is too complicated to get into it by using the language of the mind of complications, the logic of that and this, this and that, “On the other hand, let’s look at it that way,” and so on. The reason we are suffering is that we are so involved with strategy or planning rather than actually putting this into practice as it is.

This whole series of situations, the six types of bardo experience, is present all the time. There is the domestic problem of the hungry ghosts, in terms of comfort, luxury, hunger, and thirst. There is the competitive problem of the jealous gods, the asura level. There is the spiritual problem of the world of the gods. There is the problem of communication and relationship, which is the world of hell, or naraka. There is the problem of not opening, or the animal realm. There is the problem of being sucked into situations and grasping, which is the human realm. These realms are not other lands, not situations
outside.
They are within us: we have domestic problems, emotional problems, spiritual problems, relationship problems. All of these are very apparent; they are right here. And each of these problems has its exit or highlight. In each there is the possibility of completely flipping out or of stepping out of the confusion. Each situation presents its highlight of this and that.

Once we go further and get more and more into the situation as it is, then we wonder whether we are going too far or going too slow. But at the same time, we are in this particular vehicle without any reverse, not even a lower gear. We are traveling in top gear, at top speed—with no brakes either. It is an ongoing process. In the movie
2001: A Space Odyssey
, there is that same kind of analogy: you are going on and on and on; once you begin to destroy the computer’s brainwork, you are involved in an ongoing process, an infinite journey into space. It’s quite an interesting analogy.

This seminar seems to be based on seeing the situation of sanity and insanity. It has to do not only with working with ourselves but working with other people. In the present situation, some people are actually flipping out and some give the pretense of flipping out. That makes it possible to look into this topic. Strangely enough, the situation gave the talks, the situation held discussions, rather than there being deliberately guided talks in terms of myself or yourselves. It seems that talks just happen, as the mutual effort of the audience and the speaker. However we would like to regard it, it is a mutual effort, the act of the meeting of two minds.

There was a question a few days ago about alcohol. That is a very interesting subject. It seems that such a question has different perspectives or views. There is the conventional attitude—that of the nonsmoker, nondrinker, good citizen, good Christian, good Buddhist, good Hindu, good Jew. But there is another aspect as well, not associated with such conventional attitudes, but with the human situation, which also includes the experience of grass, hashish, LSD, mescaline, and all the rest of it. It seems that the whole question is based on sanity, and on the many possible ways of providing temptations leading us to insanity. That seems to be the central question or theme. It is very much based on the user—but at the same time there is a big conflict, as we know, between a dream world and the actual world, the so-to-speak actual world. The dream world is associated with hallucinations, pictures, and visions—but it is still intoxication. At the same time, in the earthly world, or the physical world, there is so much sudden pain and sudden pleasure, making too big a deal about reality. Here too there is the question of intoxication. Alcohol intoxication, or intoxication by yeast, is closer to the earth; but at the same time, as far as one’s personal experience is concerned, it should be worked with very carefully. Such a high on earth could lead to being high on space, or it could just remain high on earth—that’s the criterion.

That same criterion could apply also to the situation as a whole: what we’ve been talking about and doing in this particular seminar, and in general what I’m trying to do in this country. In fact, I think everybody here without exception is involved in a very dangerous game. Everybody here is involved in a very dangerous game because we are working on the karmic pattern of America. We are trying not only to fight it, but we are trying to infiltrate it. That is quite dangerous. The magical powers of materialism and spirituality are waging war, so to speak, all the time. From the beginning of such a setup, it has worked out that way. Spirituality is against worldliness and worldliness is against spirituality. So we are facing tremendous danger. Every individual who takes part in this seminar is subject to an attack from materialism, because we are working on the infiltration of the materialistic world. According to history, a lot of people who attempted to become teachers or outstanding students were struck by such power, such energy—either through a direct physical attack or through a psychological attack. That has been happening. So it is very dangerous—to the extent that we should not be involved. If you insist on being involved in it, working with it, then you should be brave enough to work with it and go along with the infiltration.

That brings up the next subject, which is the practice of meditation. Meditation is the technique of infiltration, or the transmutation of negative hostile forces into positive creative situations. That is what we are doing. In other words, what I am trying to say is that involvement of this type is not going to be easy by any means. It is going to be extremely difficult. For one thing, it is a lonely journey. For another thing, it is a lonely journey with bridges, ladders, cliffs, and waves. It includes turbulent rivers that we have to cross, shaky bridges that we have to walk on, slippery steps that we have to tread on amongst hailstorms, rains, snowstorms, and powerful winds. Constant patience is needed as well: we are going to cross an inexhaustible stretch of desert without water. All of this is very frightening. And you cannot blame that situation on anyone: you can’t blame it on the teacher who led you to it, and you can’t blame it on yourself, that you started on it. Blaming doesn’t help. Going along on the path is the only way to do it.

At the same time, some energy and encouragement continue on the path as well—it’s not as black as that by any means. The first inspiration is that you decide to step in or involve yourself in such a path, which is based on our communication and our connection. Take the example of our local situation, for instance. If you are involved with the work of Suzuki Roshi in California, and if you also decide to become involved with the work which is happening here with me, such a situation contains tremendous power, reinforcement, and energy behind it. It is not only that the teachers themselves are particularly forceful teachers or powerful as individuals, because they are human beings. But the energy behind that inspiration comes from a lineage of two thousand five hundred years of effort, energy, and spiritual power. Nobody in that lineage just took advantage of that power, but they received inspiration from it, and everybody worked, practiced, and achieved. And their inspiration has been handed down generation by generation. As the scriptures would say, it is like good gold, which is put on the fire and beaten, hammered, twisted, refined, until it comes out as pure gold—living pure gold. Or it is like hot baked bread. The knowledge of baking bread has been handed down generation by generation, so present-day bakers who belong to that particular lineage can still provide hot, living, tasty bread straight from the oven and feed you. Such a living quality of inspiration continues. It is that which keeps us continuing on the path, going through the deserts, going through the storms, bridges, ladders, and so on.

The whole thing is really based on whether we are going to acknowledge it in terms of our relationship to ourselves. Nobody particularly has to belong to a syndicate, or to a spiritual scene, just for the sake of belonging. It is the relationship of ourself to ourself which seems to be important. And the inspiration of belonging to ourself, working with ourself, relating with ourself, has different facets, which are the six types of world—the world of the gods, the world of hell, the world of the hungry ghosts, human beings, animals, and jealous gods. Making friends with ourselves is not very easy. It is a very profound thing. At the same time, we could do it, we could make it. Nevertheless, making a long story too short, involvement with ourselves means making an honest relationship with ourselves, looking into ourselves as what we are and realizing that external comfort will be temporary, that our comforters may not be there all the time. There is the possibility of us being alone. Therefore there is more reason to work and go along with the practices that are involved.

And usually what happens—and also what happened to me, “on my way to the theater”—is that I established a relationship with my guru, Jamgön Kongtrül Rinpoche, and learned from him, spent some time with him. There were also certain times when I couldn’t see him and I couldn’t talk to him. Later I would be able to talk to him again and relate my experiences to him. When I saw him for the last time, I felt I really made communication, with real commitment and understanding of his teachings. I was very pleased about it. I regarded that as the beginning of our relationship. But then I had to go back without him. I had achieved tremendous insight, understanding, as to what he was and what he had to say and I was dying to relate that to him, just to tell him. That would be so beautiful. It would be such a beautiful moment to relate to him that at last I had heard him, I had understood him. I was waiting for the occasion to do that—and it never took place; nothing happened. Jamgön Kongtrül was captured by the Communist Chinese and he died in jail. I never met him or saw him again.

A similar situation happened in terms of Gampopa and Milarepa. Milarepa told Gampopa that he should practice certain meditations and relate with his experience—and he did it, he achieved it. But it happened that he forgot the particular date he was supposed to come and see Milarepa, which was the fifteenth day of the first month of the year, according to the Tibetan calendar. He was about fifteen days late. He suddenly remembered on the twenty-fifth day that he must go and see Milarepa on the fifteenth, so he decided to set out. He rushed, but halfway there some travelers came to him with the message that Milarepa was dead. He had sent a piece of his robe and a message for Gampopa. So Gampopa was never able to relate that last experience to Milarepa.

Situations like that take place all the time. They are a kind of encouragement, showing us that we are able to work with ourselves and that we will achieve the goal—but we will not receive the congratulations of the guru anymore. Again you are alone: you are a lonely student or you are a lonely teacher. You are continuously becoming alone again. With such independence, relating with spiritual scenes or other such situations is not so important. But relating with ourselves is very important and more necessary. There is a really living quality in that.

I’m not saying these things because I want to raise your paranoia, but as in the historical cases or evolutionary cases that took place, nobody is going to congratulate you, that finally you are buddha. And in fact, your enthronement ceremony will never take place. If it did take place, it would be dangerous, the wrong time—it would not be real anymore. So the lonely journey is important. And particularly, many of you who took part in this seminar and experienced our individual relationship are going to go back to your own places and try to practice by yourselves and work hard on all this, trying to relate with the different realms of the world. But at the same time, no teacher or situation should be providing comfort to anybody. I suppose that is the point we are getting at. In other words, nobody is going to be initiated as a fully enlightened person decorated by the guru. It is just about to happen, you think you are just about to get a decoration—but it doesn’t take place; it never happens. So any external reliance does not work. It is the individual, personal intuition, working on oneself, which is important.

Student:
Rinpoche, the path that you’re talking about is not very complex. It is very simple, just the way it is right now, without any trips. Isn’t that it?

Trungpa Rinpoche:
Yes, I think it is simple and immediate. We are talking about not only what we should do when we finish our meeting here, but what we should be doing right now—let alone when we retire and buy a house and land somewhere and
then
meditate. It happens right now.

Student:
You have said that in tantra there is a colorful aspect, beyond shunyata. Do you mean real colors, physical colors, vision, eyesight? Sometimes you don’t see at all; you look but you just don’t see. At other times you can see every little thing.