The Collector of Remarkable Stories (30 page)

He nodded for a while longer than he needed to. "I know."

"Where's mum?"

"She buggered off. Married someone else. Don't blame her really," he said sadly.

Margie cocked her head gently and slowly reached out to him. He reached back. As their finger tips met, Margie remembered a time when he was her everything; even at his worst when he came crashing through the front door at three o'clock in the morning reeking of alcohol and spitting obscenities at everyone.

And then it occurred to her that he still was. After all these years. After all the heartache. He still had her heart.

"Do you still have that wooden foot with the face on it?" she asked him.

William smiled, like he himself had just remembered. He quickly lifted his trouser leg to reveal a wooden leg. There was no face.

"I guess it came off in the wash," he said.

"She has to go," shouted a voice nearby.

"Please come with me!" said Margie.

William's eyes grew round. "I can't. It's too dangerous."

"Please," she begged. "If I can then you can."

"We can't," replied William, "it's different for you. You have the light inside of you."

"She must go now!" screamed the same voice again.

"Go," said her father. "Be quick. Let people know we're here."

"I don't understand."

"You don't need to understand. Just let people know."

"Tell her to go!" shouted another voice. "We can't hold him back any longer."

Margie looked at her father. She couldn't believe she was being torn away from him again. "I have no choice" he mouthed sadly, as though able to read her mind. As a single tear fell down Margie's cheek something quite remarkable happened. The noise around her escalated to an almost debilitating level, as though millions upon millions of people were trying to outshout each other. At the same time she felt the hands of those around her picking her up and pulling her along, faster and faster until she was being swept along by a tidal wave of unity. The more the noise increased, the faster Margie went until she could no longer see or hear anything. And the faster she went, the more painful it became until her body felt like it was being torn apart. Finally, there was an enormous bang and Margie came to a sudden standstill.

When her brain caught up with her body, she found herself totally inert several inches below the surface of the ice. No hands. No noise. Just blissful silence and an overwhelming sense that something extraordinary had just happened. She didn't, however, have too long to dwell on anything because immediately she could see and hear someone - or something - scratching away on the surface of the ice trying to reach her. And then she heard a voice. It was a familiar voice; a voice that filled her with joy.

"Spider Beast! Is that you?"

Back to Limbuss

Once she had scrabbled from the ice, Margie fell to her knees. "I can't believe it," she cried. "You came for me!"

Spider Beast didn't respond. Something felt wrong.
"Spider Beast," she whispered, "are you okay?"

Without warning Margie was surrounded by an army of Dog Beasts, their huge iron jaws snarling fiercely.

Margie shook her head in confusion. "Spider Beast?"

"It's pointless asking him!" said a voice. "He can't help you now." Two of the Dog Beasts stepped aside and Torquere strode through the gap wearing a ridiculously oversized leather and fur coat. Slowly he stepped forward, stopping inches from Spider Beast and Margie, who was still kneeling.

Torquere kicked some snow which hit them both.

"Ah," he said sarcastically, "what a lovely little reunion!"

"Did you hear something, Spider Beast?" asked Margie wiping the snow indifferently off her face.

Torquere kicked more snow at Margie.

"I" he said drawing out the letter quite dramatically, "I am the Great Torquere." He paused for a moment, waiting for a reaction that never came. "And you," he said, poking her with a stick, "belong to me."

Margie bent in closer to Spider Beast. "What's going on?"

Spider Beast crept forward slowly, not removing his eyes from Margie's. His movements were slow and sure yet there was a tension in his voice that Margie hadn't heard before.

"Stay quiet and do as they tell you."

"We lost The Giant," she whispered sadly.

"I know," replied Spider Beast trying not to betray his feelings. "What matters is that you ..." He convulsed as though having a malfunction "What matters is that you ..." He convulsed again. "What matters is that you are okay."

Torquere laughed and in the moments that followed he and Spider Beast stared angrily at each other, a silent war raging between them.

"Pick up the Spider!" barked Torquere to no one in particular. "We have to leave before it gets dark."

Although Torquere's army was strong; scary even, Margie could sense that even they didn't like this part of Limbuss. There was a tension in the air that, like luminol on blood, showed a weakness in their armour. And that included Torquere's. They were as close to the Darkest of All Places as any of them dared go. They didn't need asking twice. One of the Dog Beasts bent down to pick Spider Beast up in his powerful jaws but Margie raised her hand. "Please," she asked, "I'd really like to carry him."

Torquere, feeling pleased with himself, shrugged. It made no difference to him who carried the annoying little machine. He'd planned to dispose of him before they returned to the City of Limbuss, but now he thought otherwise. It would seem he was just what they needed in order to keep Margie calm and therefore compliant, which suited him just fine.

Margie picked up Spider Beast and pressed him to her chest. The adrenaline of her escape from the Darkest of All Places was beginning to wear off and the pain and sadness was beginning to creep back in. As they marched through the icy wastes, Margie whispered to Spider Beast, her voice muted by the crunch of snow: "Did you find my bag?"

"Did you succeed in your assignment?" shot back Spider Beast coldly.

Before she'd left Limbuss City, Spider Beast had instructed Margie and The Giant to head directly for the Darkest of All Places as quickly as she could; and to stay focussed.

Margie shook her head despondently. "No, I'm sorry."

Spider Beast raged inside. How could she still be carrying The Big Invisible? It was the worst possible outcome.

Unfortunately for Margie, the misunderstanding would never be rectified because Torquere's paranoia did not allow for her to remain conscious a second longer. Moments after administering the shot, he nudged her comatose body with his foot then narrowed his eyes.

"Make sure she stays that way," he snarled at the Dog Beasts. "Fail this task and you will be melted down."

The Dog Beasts bowed their heads and moments later Margie was draped across the back of Ferocimus. Lying on this monster's huge armour clad back Margie looked tiny. Helpless. And Spider Beast, now trussed up with string, could do nothing but watch with dismay as they slowly headed back to the city.

The Avellotractus

Margie's eyes opened slowly then her head shot up. Still feeling woozy from the sleeping elixir, she could see that she was in a small cell, only a few feet square. She had been lying on the floor even though the cell contained a bench and despite there being no window or light source, the room was bright. A low humming noise seemed to be coming from the ground beneath her and an electrical charge seemed to envelope her, making her hair rise a few centimetres. She knew instantly that she was back in Limbuss City and a tiny wave of excitement washed over her. She banged on the wall of her cell.

"Hello, is there anybody there?"

Margie listened for a while. She could hear muffled voices but couldn't tell if they were near or far.

She banged on the wall of her cell again and the voices stopped. Moments later the door opened with a great creak and Margie found herself face to face with a furious looking Torquere. His brow was heavy and his chin remained low.

"What," he barked aggressively, "do you want?" He stretched the final word out until it became more of a screech.

Margie's eyes darted left to right.

"If you're looking for the arachnid, he's on his way down to the furnace to be melted down. He and I had some minor disagreements."

Margie stepped backwards into her cell.

"Don't worry," said Torquere, suspiciously much calmer, "you'll have forgotten everything about him in a few moments." He smiled as though having just offered her an after dinner mint.

"What are you going to do with me?" asked Margie through narrowed eyes. The fluctuations in Torquere's mood unnerved her.

"This," he said, dragging her out towards the Avellotractus, "is a work of spectacular genius. Don't worry. It doesn't hurt. It's designed to extract whatever it is that you carry within you. In particular, the power you have to make people disappear. Forever."

Margie stared at Torquere for the longest time. "I really don't have that kind of power."

Torquere laughed. Then, like a whip cracking, his face became like thunder. "You do!" he bellowed into her face whilst manhandling her into the machine. "Why are you lying to me?"

"I'm not lying," said Margie firmly.

Torquere spun around and motioned for Bufo to close the Avellotractus door.

"No, please!" cried Margie.

"Such a sweet girl," muttered Torquere almost regretfully.

With this he did a little tap dance then jauntily made his way to the door. As he reached out, the door swung open. Several Dog Beasts entered the laboratory and surrounded him.

"What is the meaning of this?" barked Torquere. "Away!" he screeched, barely able to control his fury. "You're supposed to be disposing of the Spider! "

Ferocimus stepped forward. "We have only one master."

Torquere looked at Ferocimus quizzically but didn't get chance to argue because someone else stepped into the room that took his breath away ...

The Bounty

The city clocks chimed four, but it was dark already. A heavy mist crept along the deserted streets like a frightened animal looking for somewhere to hide. Even the air seemed empty; still and ghost like.

Grandma Doyle and Black Adam found the Emporium soon enough and were dismayed to find such a ramshackle dilapidated dreary mess. They knew that Limbuss City was known as the City of Sloth but it resembled less of a city now and more of a ghost town.

"Where can they all be?" asked Grandma Doyle as they huddled in a doorway. They had not seen a single person on their journey through the city streets. In fact their passage back from the Darkest of All Places had been much the same. She picked up the torn remnants of a poster which lay on the ground:
Déjà vu Epidemic Sweeps City
. She'd heard whispers of a dangerous plague; one that could suck a person into the endless infinite void of nothing. But she didn't believe it.

She threw the scrap of paper back on the floor and pulled her patchwork coat tight. "You found it yet?" she whispered sharply, "I'm getting the 'eebie jeebies out here."

Black Adam looked at his poster again (several times in the last few minutes) and shrugged. They were definitely at the right place.

It was Grandma Doyle who forced her way in through the rotten wood which boarded up the window. It fell inwards with a clatter, sending up a dust cloud that made her cough. Inside, the vast rooms were cold, damp and mouldy. The once organised chaos was now just a disorganised mess.

The rooms were crammed with objects of every description. Books, bikes, cups, toys, clothes, furniture, shoes, coats, food containers, antlers and electrical equipment. The wooden pigeon-holes that stretched to the ceiling were now empty, their contents - rusty keys, nails, tools, brass fixtures and iron bolts - strewn across the floor alongside bigger unidentifiable items.

As they slowly fought their way through the detritus, Grandma Doyle intermittently shook her head. "Are you
sure
this is where we are supposed to be?" she asked for the umpteenth time.

Black Adam replied brusquely. "That's what it says on the paperwork." He didn't want to admit he had doubts of his own. But if there was bounty to be claimed then he was going to claim it.

"They make it hard to claim the reward so people just give up," he insisted before cupping his mouth and shouting very loudly. "Well, it ain't going to happen!"

"Adam," hissed Grandma Doyle angrily. "Stop acting the fool!"

"Oh, be quiet woman," he scolded back. "You won't be saying that when we've got our reward."

Together the two of them made their way through room after room, looking for their recompense. After an hour or so of this, Black Adam stopped and picked up an old pipe wrench and, after giving it a quick once over, popped it into his shoulder bag.

"What are you doing?" demanded Grandma Doyle, aghast.

"What do you mean 'what am I doing?'"

"This place is a graveyard," she said reaching inside his bag to retrieve the pilfered item. "Every single item has eyes and ears."

"You're talking nonsense woman," scoffed Black Adam picking up an old boot, "look!" He twisted the boot this way and that. "Show me the eyes and ears!"

Grandma Doyle tutted as Black Adam tossed the boot over his shoulder and the two of them wandered on.

"She's right," said a tiny electronic voice.

"What did you say old woman?" asked Black Adam, although he knew full well that Grandma Doyle had said nothing.

"It
is
a graveyard. It will be yours too if you're not careful."

"It's the boot!" exclaimed Black Adam. "It's talking."

"What did I tell you!" said Grandma Doyle feeling thoroughly vindicated.

"You said nothing of the sort!"

"I did too," replied Grandma Doyle.

"Eyes and ears you said. Eyes and ears. You said nothing about a mouth."

Just then, a small creature flew nervously out of the boot.

"Spy Fly," fumed Black Adam, picking up a small metal pipe and holding it out like a weapon.

The Spy Fly landed unsteadily on a pile of old number plates near Grandma Doyle. "You can destroy me with your metal stick if it makes you feel zzz better, but I can assure you that I mean you no harm."

"Why should we believe you; you're nothing but I dirty little filthbot!" spat Black Adam.

"I believe you," said Grandma Doyle.

"Thank you," said the Spy Fly. "I know why you're zzz here and the reward doesn't exist. It was all a lie. And the girl you took to the Darkest of All Places is being held against her will right here zzz in Limbuss City!"

"That's impossible," said Grandma Doyle.

"You're a liar," shouted Black Adam.

"I can't force you to believe me. But your friend is in danger."

"You just want the money for yourself."

"Believe what you will," it said, "but we Spy Flies aren't as zzz loyal to that old fool as you might think. What he wants to take from that girl will be the end of Limbuss. He has no idea zzz of The Big Invisible; how it's already consumed millions of souls; made it so they never existed. Why do you think the streets are deserted."

"She must have failed to reach the Darkest of All Places," said Grandma Doyle. "Why else would she still be carrying The Big Invisible?"

"Damnit!" snapped Black Adam realising that their chances of getting paid for the job were virtually zero. "Damn and blast it!"

"If Torquere gets his hands on that Big zzz Invisible it's the end. The end!" Spy Fly let out a short tortured cry. "I've already said too much," and with that he flew weakly into a rusted old carburettor.

"Margie's in danger," said Grandma Doyle, not knowing herself if it was a statement or a question. "Where?" she cried out desperately in the direction of the carburettor, "where is she?" But there was no reply.

"We have to go and find her," said Grandma Doyle to Black Adam.

Black Adam shook his head. "That, my dear, is going to be utterly impossible!"

"Nothing is impossible," said Grandma Doyle readying herself for a fight.

"It is," replied Black Adam, "unless you know a way out of this place because as far as I can tell, we are totally and utterly lost."

Grandma Doyle looked around her. There were several doors that each led off into a different room, which in turn had a number of doors leading off into different rooms. With mounting horror Grandma Doyle realised that (for once) Black Adam was right.