The Colonel (3 page)

“There is: because people get scared when things they can't understand have control over their lives. Doesn't matter how rational or beneficial any given law or a policy might be. When you need ten brains to understand the nuts and bolts, the unibrains get skittish.” The sock puppet shrugs. “The thing is, Bicam hives don't make laws or set policies. They keep their eyes on nature and their hands to themselves. Maybe that's why they're
not
against the law.”

“Or maybe it's just a loophole. If anyone had seen meat interfaces coming down the pike, you can bet we'd have defined
technology
a bit more explicitly.”

“Except the Interface Act passed a good ten years ago and they
still
haven't got their definition right. How could they? Brains rewire themselves every time we have an idle thought; how do you outlaw cortical editing without outlawing life at the same time?”

“Not my department.”

“Still. You disapprove.”

“I've just seen too much damage. You put such a happy face on it, you go on and on about the transcendent insights of the group mind. All the
insight
to be had by joining some greater whole. Nobody talks about—”

What the rest of us pay for your enlightenment—

“—what happens to you afterward.”

“A glimpse of heaven,” Lutterodt murmurs, “that turns your life to hell.”

The Colonel blinks. “Exactly.” What must it be like to be given godsight only to have it snatched away again, to have your miserable baseline existence plagued by muddy, incomprehensible half-memories of the sublime? No wonder people get addicted. No wonder some have to be ripped screaming from their sockets.

Ending a life suffered in the shadows of such incandescence—why, that would almost be an act of mercy.

“—a common misconception,” Lutterodt is saying. “The hive's not some jigsaw with a thousand little personalities, it's
integrated
. Jim Moore doesn't turn into Superman; Jim Moore doesn't even
exist
when the hive's active. Not unless you've got your latency dialed way down, anyway.”

“Even worse.”

She shakes her head, a little impatiently. “If it was bad thing you'd already know it first-hand.
You're
a hive mind. You always have been.”

“If that's your perspective on the Chain of Command—”

“
Everyone
's a hive.”

He snorts.

She presses on: “You've got two cerebral hemispheres, right? Each one fully capable of running its own standalone persona, running
multiple
personae in fact. If I were to put one of those hemispheres down for the count, anesthetize it or scramble it with enough TMS, the other would carry on just fine, and you know what?
It would be different than you
. It might have different political beliefs, a different gender—hell, it might even have a sense of humor. Right up until the other hemisphere woke up, and fused, and became
you
again.

“So tell me, Colonel; are your hemispheres suffering right now? Are there multiple selves in your head, bound and gagged, thinking
Oh Great Ganesh I'm trapped! If only the Hive would let me out to play!
”

I don't know
, he realizes.
How could I know?

“Course not,” Lutterodt answers herself. “It's just timesharing. Completely transparent.”

“And Post-Coalescent Psychosis is just an urban legend spread by the tinfoil brigade.”

She sighs. “No, PCP is very real. And it is tragic, and it fucks up thousands of lives. Yes. And it is entirely a result of defective interface technology. Our guys don't get it.”

“Not everyone's so lucky,” the Colonel says.

A man with cosmetic chlorophyll in his eyes arrives, bearing their orders. Lutterodt gives him a smile and digs into a cloned crab salad. The Colonel picks through bits of avocado he barely remembers ordering. “Have you ever visited the Moksha Mind?”

“Only in virt.”

“You know you can't trust anything you experience in virt.”

“You can't trust anything you experience at this
table
. Do you see that big honking blind spot in the middle of your visual field?”

“I'm not talking about nature's shortcuts. I'm talking about something with an agenda.”

“Okay.” She chews, speaks around a mouthful. “So what's the Moksha agenda?”

“Nobody knows. Eight million human minds linked together, and they just—lie there. Sure, you've seen the feeds from Bangalore and Hyderabad, the nice clean dorms with the smart beds to exercise the bodies and keep everything supple. Have you seen the nodes living at the ass end of five hundred kilometers of dirt track? People with nothing more than a cot and a hut and a C-square router by the village well?”

She doesn't answer.

He takes it for a
no
. “You should pay them a visit sometime. Some of them have people checking in on them. Some—don't. I've seen children covered with stinking bedsores lying in their own shit, people with half their teeth fallen out because they're wired into that hive. And they
don't care
. They
can't
care, because there is no
them
any more, and the hive doesn't give a rat's ass about the pieces it's built out of any more than—”

Human torches, blazing in the Ecuadorian rainforest.

“—any more than you'd care about a single cell in your liver.”

Lutterodt glances down at her drink. “It's what they aspire to, Colonel. Freedom from sa
ṃ
s
ā
ra. I can't pretend it's a choice I'd make for myself.” She looks back up, catches his gaze, holds it. “But that's not what's bothering you.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because no matter how much you disapprove of their lifestyle, eight million happily-catatonic souls aren't any kind of military threat.”

“You sure about that? Can you even begin to imagine what kind of plans could be brewing in a coherent thinking entity with the mass of eight million human brains?”

“World conquest.” Lutterodt nods, deadpan. “Because that's what the Dharmic faiths are all about.”

He doesn't laugh. “
People
subscribe to a faith. That hive is something else entirely.”

“And if they're a threat,” she says quietly, “what are we?”

Her masters, she means. And the answer is,
Terrifying
.

“Moksha's not so radical when you get right down to it,” she continues. “It's built out of garden-variety brains after all.
My
guys played around with the cortical architecture. We've got entanglement on the brain, we've got quantum bioradio grown on principles you won't stumble across for another twenty years. You can't even define it as
technology
any more. That's why you and I are talking right now, isn't it? Because if a bunch of networked baselines has you worried, how could the Bicamerals
not
be a threat?”

“Are they?” he asks at last.

She snorts. “Look, you can optimize a brain for
down there
or
up here.
Not both. Bicams think at Planck scales. All that quantum craziness is as intuitive to them as the trajectory of a baseball is to you. But you know what?”

He's heard it before: “They don't get baseballs.”

“They don't get baseballs. Oh, they get around okay. They can wipe their asses and feed themselves. But stick ‘em in a big city and—well, saying it would make them
uncomfortable
is putting it mildly.”

He doesn't buy it.

“Why do you think they need people like me? You think they set up way out in the desert so they can build some kind of supervillain lair?” Lutterodt rolls her eyes. “They're no threat, believe me. They'd have a hard time getting across a busy street.”

“Their physical prowess is the last thing I'm worried about. Something that advanced could crush us underfoot and never even notice.”

“Colonel, I
live
with them. They haven't crushed me yet.”

“We both know how destabilizing it would be if the Bicams marketed even a fraction—”

“But they haven't, have they? Why would they? You think they care about a fucking profit margin in your fantasy-world
economy
?” Lutterodt shakes her head. “You should be thanking whatever Gods you subscribe to that they
do
hold those patents. Anyone else probably
would
have kicked the anthill over by now, for no more reason than a good fiscal quarterly.”

So we're ants to you now.

“Whether you admit it or not, your world's better off with them in it. They keep to themselves, they don't bother anyone, and when they
do
come out to play you cavemen make out like bandits. You should know that already; the Armed Forces have been licensing our cryption tech for over a decade.”

“Not lately we haven't.” Not since someone up the chain got antsy about back doors. Although perhaps the Colonel had something to do with that decision as well.

“Your loss. Just a couple months back Coahuila came up with a Ramanujan-symmetric variant you guys would kill for. Nothing lays a hand on our algos.” She reconsiders. “Nothing baseline, anyway.”

“It won't work, Dr. Lutterodt.”

She raises her eyebrows, the very picture of innocence.

He leans in across the table. “Maybe you really do feel safe, sleeping with your giants. They haven't rolled over and crushed you in your sleep yet; maybe you think that's some kind of guarantee they never will. I will never be that reckless—”

Again.

Even after all this time, the qualifier still kicks him in the gut.

“They're not the enemy, Colonel.”

He takes a breath, marvels at its control. “That's what scares me. At least you can hope to understand what an enemy
wants
. That thing—” He shakes his head. “You've admitted it yourself. Its ambitions won't even fit into a human skull.”

“Right now,” Lutterodt says, “it wants to help you.”

“Right.”

She peels off a fingernail and slides it across the table. He looks but doesn't touch.

“It's a crystal,” she says after a moment.

“I know what it is. You couldn't have just sacc'd it to me?”

“You would have accepted it? You would have let a Bicameral stooge dump data directly into your head?”

He concedes the point with a small grimace. “What is it?”

“It's a transmission. We decrypted it a few weeks ago.”

“A transmission.”

“From the Oort. As far as we can tell.”

She's lying. She has to be.

The Colonel shakes his head. “We would have—” Every day, for the better part of ten years. Checking the pilot light. Squeezing the microwave background for a word, a whisper, a sigh. Eyes always fixed on the heavens, even now, even after the losses have been tallied and all other eyes have moved on to better prospects.

There's no evidence
Theseus
is lost
…

“We've been scanning ever since the launch. If there'd been any kind of signal I'd know about it.”

Lutterodt shrugs. “They can do things you can't. Isn't that what keeps you up at night?”

“They don't even have an array. Where'd they get the telemetry?”

She smiles the faintest smile.

The light dawns at last. “You—you
knew
…”

Lutterodt reaches across the table and pushes her dismembered fingernail a few centimeters closer. “Take it.”

“You knew I was going to reach out to you. You
planned
on it.”

“See what it says.”

“You know about my
son
.” He feels his breath hissing through teeth suddenly clenched. “You
fuckers
. You're using my own
son
against me now?”

“I promise you'll find it worth—”

He stands. “If your masters think they can hold him
hostage
…”

“Hos—” Lutterodt blinks. “Of course not. I told you, they want to
help—
”

“A
hive
wants to help. It was a fucking hive in the
first
place that…”

“Jim. They're
giving
it to you.” He sees nothing in that face but earnest entreaty. “Take it. Open it wherever, whenever you want. Run it through whatever filters or bomb detectors, whatever security you deem appropriate.”

He eyes it as though it's sprouted teeth. “You're giving it to me. No strings attached.

“Just one.”

“Of course.” He shakes his head, disgusted. “And that would be.”

“This is for you, Jim. Not your masters. Not Mission Control.”

“You know I can't make that promise.”

“Then don't take the offer. I don't have to tell you what happens if word gets out. You're willing to talk to us, at least. Others might not be so reasonable. And despite your deepest fears, we can't summon lightning from the heavens to strike down our adversaries. You spread this around and there'll be bots and jackboots stomping through every monastery in WestHem.”

“Why trust me at all? How do you know I won't authorize an op on the strength of this conversation?”

She counts the ways. “Because you're not that kind of man. Because maybe I'm lying, and you don't want to risk lives and assets only to discover we
can
bring down the lightning after all. And because—” She taps the fake fingernail with a real one. “Because what if this
is
from
Theseus
, and you never get another chance?”