The Color of a Memory (The Color of Heaven Series) (21 page)

I noticed David’s Adam’s apple bob; a muscle twitched at his jaw. Then he checked the rearview mirror, flicked the blinker and pulled over, nearly skidding onto the side of the road.

My upper body jerked forward at the abrupt stop. David shifted the gears into park, leaned across the seat and pressed his mouth to mine with a passion that knocked me senseless and sent my head into a dizzying spin. I parted my lips and opened myself to a violent rush of emotion.

He kissed me hard until the luscious damp pressure of his mouth caused a tingle of excitement in all the outer reaches of my body.

My skin erupted in goose bumps, and when he drew back, I felt shaky all over. I was completely overwhelmed.

“I can love you like that,” he said in a low, husky voice that caused my body to melt like butter. “I’ve loved you since the first day I saw you in the ER, and God, there were moments I hated Alex for being the one who broke his foot that day. I wanted it to be me.”

My breath caught in my throat and my eyebrows lifted. “I didn’t know.”

“Well, now you do,” he replied with a flirtatious glimmer in his eye that made me weak in the knees. Thank God I was sitting down.

He kissed me again, then resumed his position in the driver’s seat and shifted back into first gear.

“Let’s go home then,” he said with a manly confidence that turned every inch of my quivering body into a pile of sticky jelly, “and figure out where to go from here—and what in the world we’re going to tell Jean.”

Chapter Fifty-one

After a great deal more discussion, David helped me decide how to handle the Carla and Kaleigh situation with Jean, but first I needed to call Nadia and tell her the latest developments, because she’d been instrumental in helping me locate Carla.

As I dialed Nadia’s number, I experienced a strange sensation of excitement, as if by telling her about my incredible day, I was also telling Alex, somehow by proxy. I knew that was crazy, but oh, how I wanted him to know that I’d found his half-sister. I also wanted him to know that I intended to make her a part of my life and Wendy’s.

Without a shadow of a doubt, I knew he would be pleased to hear it.

If only he could have known before he passed.

Nadia’s phone rang three times before she picked up. “Hello?”

“Hi Nadia. It’s Audrey.”

She greeted me warmly and asked how the day had gone. “Did you meet her?”

“Yes,” I told her, “and it turned out totally different from what I expected. You’re not going to believe this.”

Nadia was quick to reply. “Tell me.”

I paused—just for dramatic effect. “Carla Matthews was Alex’s
half-sister
.”

The news was met with silence, then Nadia exhaled. “Wow. He never told you about her?”

“He didn’t even know,” I explained. “Not until the week before he died. He did once tell me about his vague memories of going to the race track in the Buick with his sister when he was really young, but he thought it was Sarah. Turns out it wasn’t. It was Carla.”

The clock ticked ominously on the wall beside me.

“Does that mean his father cheated on Jean?” Nadia asked.

I sank onto one of the kitchen chairs. “Yes, and that’s the difficult part. It’s why Alex was so secretive. He didn’t want his mom to know about Carla. He was very protective of her. He was a good man, Nadia. The very best. Remember when I told you in the playground that he had a good heart? He
did
. There can be no doubt about that now.”

I heard the smile in Nadia’s voice. “I’m so happy to hear it. I’m happy for both of us.”

“Me, too. On that note, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Would you like to meet Carla? Because if you want to, when we come to your place Saturday, we could bring her and Kaleigh. I know she’d love to meet
you
.”

Nadia didn’t hesitate. “That’s a great idea. Our three girls will have a blast on the new play structure. But there’s only one problem.”

“What’s that?” I asked.

“I’ve already invited Jean,” Nadia replied, “so things could get awkward.”

I stood up to make some tea. “Yes, they could. I guess I need to give her a call.”

“What will you tell her?” Nadia asked.

I wished I could answer the question, but I still wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do. Jean’s husband’s affair was in the past now. He’d been dead for years. Was she better off not knowing? Or was it more important that she have some contact with her late son’s niece and half-sister?

Most importantly, what would Alex have wanted?

“I’m not sure yet,” I replied, “but I’ll let you know before Saturday.

We hung up so I could dial Jean’s number.

Chapter Fifty-two

The following morning, I pulled into Jean’s driveway and turned off the car.

David wasn’t scheduled to work that day so he volunteered to watch Wendy so I could have some time alone with Jean.

“Come on in,” she said cheerfully as she opened the door. “I just made us some carrot muffins.”

“
Mmm,
they smell delicious,” I replied as I crossed the threshold and followed her to the kitchen.

Planting myself at the breakfast bar, I reveled in the aroma of hot muffins straight out of the oven. Jean set a plate in front of me and slid the butter dish closer. “Coffee?”

“I’d love some,” I replied as I reached for a warm muffin and peeled back the paper.

A moment later we were both seated. She gently asked how I was getting along—as if
I
was the one who needed help and comfort. I regretted that it wouldn’t be long before the shoe would be on the other foot.

“Actually, there’s something I want to talk to you about,” I said. “It’s about Alex, sort of.”

Her expression clouded over with concern. “What is it, Audrey?”

I had thought long and hard about this decision—whether or not to tell Jean about Carla and Kaleigh—and it was vitally important to me that I respect Alex’s wishes. But now that he was gone, how could I know—how could
anyone
know—what he truly would have wanted?

In the end, I chose to follow to my heart, to trust that I knew the man he was deep down—just like I did on the bridge that day when he dropped to one knee before me and proposed. I’d said yes because I loved him and I believed we were meant to be together, and it turned out I was right to put all my faith in him. Now it was time to put my faith in my own heart and intuition.

Setting down my butter knife, I leaned back on the white leather stool. “It’s something I’ve been keeping from you for a little while, and I’m sorry about that. It started a few weeks ago when I was here for the two-year anniversary of Alex’s death. Remember when I went out to sit in the Buick and didn’t come back for a long time? Then I left abruptly?”

“Of course I remember.”

I dropped my gaze to the granite countertop of the breakfast bar and blinked a few times, fighting to gather the right words.

“I found something in the glove box of the car that day. It was an ultrasound of a baby, and there was a note to Alex on the back that suggested the child belonged to him. Ever since then, I thought maybe he’d been having an affair before he died, but it turns out he wasn’t.”

Jean blinked a few times, then sat back in shock. “Well, thank God for that.”

I nodded. “I agree. I was relieved to find out he wasn’t cheating on me…but that’s where it gets complicated.” I paused for a moment, then met her gaze directly. “The woman who was pregnant—the one who’d had the ultrasound… She was
related
to Alex.”

I stopped before going any further because I couldn’t bring myself to be blunt. I didn’t want to hurt Jean. I had no idea how to tell her the truth, but I knew I had to.

She stared at me intently. “How do you mean…
related
?”

I breathed deeply and let it out. “The woman was his half-sister.”

While I gave Jean a few seconds to make sense of what I was trying to tell her, I began to perspire heavily. I shrugged out of my sweater and let it drape on the back of the chair, then wiped my forehead with the back of a hand.

“Was her name Carla?” Jean asked.

My lips parted in surprise. “Yes. It was.” I felt my eyebrows pull together in dismay. “Did you know about her?”

Jean slowly nodded. “I certainly knew who her mother was. William tried to keep it from me, of course, but I knew. A wife always knows.”

“But you forgave him?”

Her hesitation surprised me, and she shrugged. “Not really, but I did my best to keep everything together. For Alex and Sarah.”

A puff of air sailed out of my lungs. “But everyone thought you
worshipped
Alex’s father. Alex thought that was the reason you didn’t remarry for such a long time… Because you couldn’t get over the loss of him.”

Jean shook her head. “What I couldn’t get over was my anger at his infidelity. To put it simply, I didn’t
want
to get married again because I didn’t feel I could ever trust another man. But then Garry came along and he changed my mind.”

The timer on the microwave beeped, and Jean got up to turn it off. “I set that to remind me to put some meat in the slow cooker for dinner,” she told me. Then she moved to open the fridge.

I watched her withdraw a package of chicken, set it on the counter and remove the cellophane wrap.

“You don’t seem upset,” I said.

She shook her head, but didn’t meet my gaze. “I’m over the fact that William cheated. I’ve been over it for a long time, but I always regretted that Alex didn’t get to know his half-sister better. All my life I’ve felt guilty about that, but I didn’t know how to change it. I didn’t know much about the girl except what Alex told me when he was little, after William brought him home from the race track on Saturdays. At first I thought Carla was Alex’s imaginary friend, but eventually I figured out that she must be the daughter of the woman William was seeing. I knew he loved her and I think he might have left me for her eventually, if he hadn’t passed away.”

Jean dropped the meat into the slow cooker and threw the Styrofoam packaging into the garbage. She then returned to the stool and sat down, but stared off into space for a while.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

She met my gaze at last. “Did you say there was an ultrasound photo?”

Gathering my composure, I reached into my purse, dug it out and handed it to her. “Here it is.”

She examined it closely, then turned it over to read the handwritten note on the back. Finally, her hand flew to her mouth. She broke down and wept.

I stood up to wrap my arms around her. I didn’t know what to say.

When at last she collected herself, she handed the picture back to me and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Alex would have been this baby’s uncle?”

I nodded. “I went to visit Carla yesterday and I met Kaleigh, her daughter. She’s two years old now and she looks a lot like Alex.”

Jean wiped her eyes again and chuckled with a hint of bitterness. “Then she must look like William, too, because that’s where Alex got all his charm.”

“I see,” I replied, pleased at least that the worst shock of this was over—and to know that Alex may have inherited his father’s good looks, but somehow he’d learned something along the way and hadn’t repeated his father’s indiscretions.

Jean and I sat for a moment, contemplating the situation.

“Was I right to tell you?” I asked her. “I struggled with it. I thought maybe you’d be better off not knowing.”

Her eyes lifted. “God, no. I’ve been wondering about little Carla for years. Now that I know she’s out there—that you found her and she has a daughter—I feel as if there might be some hope that I can make amends for not telling Alex when he was alive. How is she? Do you think she’d want to meet us? Because if she’s connected to my son by blood, I can’t imagine not knowing her. Enough time has passed. My anger toward William is gone now. I just want to know that Carla is okay, and I want her to know that she has family. I’m certain it’s what Alex would have wanted.”

I covered Jean’s hand with my own. “I believe you’re right about that, and I think maybe he was the one who led us to her.” I touched my forehead to hers and smiled. “Maybe he called to us both from the Buick.”

Chapter Fifty-three

The sun rose high and bright in the sky on the day of Nadia’s barbeque in Waltham. David and I pulled into the driveway with Carla, Kaleigh and Wendy in the back seat of his Hyundai Tucson. We all spilled out laughing when the girls couldn’t contain themselves at the sight of Nadia’s new play structure. It boasted a two-level clubhouse with French windows, a spiral wave slide, two swings and a glider, a rock climbing wall, monkey rings and a water cannon.

“Let the fun begin,” David said as he stepped out and looked around the lush green yard.

Nadia and Jesse came out to greet us, and Ellen led our girls to the swing set.