The Color of Us (College Bound Book 2) (12 page)

Liam: No

Gotta run

Just, don’t change on me

You don’t need to be anyone other than yourself

Believe me

Me: I do. But I need this too. You can trust me, Liam.

There was a pause, and I wondered if he’d ask me not to rush.

Liam: Always, Lex

I’ll always trust you

And that right there was how I knew that Liam O’Connell was the real deal. We cared for each other, but more than that, we trusted each other.

I ripped open the yellow padded envelope that was in my mailbox, eager to find out what was inside. Seeing Liam’s name on the return address was enough to send my excitement into overdrive. Every single text he sent was a gift, something I treasured until we’d finally see each other again. But a care package? It made my insides go all gooey knowing he’d gone the extra step to prove he was still thinking of me.

I pulled out the object inside, shoving the empty envelope in my purse as I slid my key into the lock. I shut the door behind me and looked at the object in my hand—a black box with a note wrapped around it. I unfolded the letter.

Angel—

I saw this in that shop next to Scoops, and I knew it was meant for you. I’m not there to point them out or hunt them down with you, so keep this one with you to let you know Sam is always thinking of you. You already know I’m always thinking of you.

—Liam

I yanked the top off the box to find a velvet drawstring bag. I reached inside and pulled out a slim silver bangle bracelet with a rainbow charm hanging from it. It was one of those stacking charm bracelets that were so popular. And it was all the more special because I knew money was tight for Liam. For him this gift was a small sacrifice. For me it was a constant reminder of how much he meant to me.

I slipped my hand through the thin band and felt a smile explode across my face as the rainbow settled along my forearm. My heart was full as I stared down at the innocent charm that was a symbol of so much to me—Sam’s memory, Liam’s affection, and hope for a happy future.

I grabbed my phone, my fingers trembling as I tried to type a message. It took me several tries to make it legible.

Me: How do you always know the perfect thing to say or do? I love my bracelet.

His response was almost immediate.

Liam: Glad you like it

Once I saw it, I knew it had to be yours

Me: Thank you. I just can’t imagine you going into that froufrou shop. How did you end up there?

Liam: Missing you so I went to Scoops to try your usual

Saw the bracelet in the window when I walked by

My stomach clenched at the idea of Liam going to Scoops alone. It didn’t feel right.

Me: How was the usual?

Liam: Rather have you on my tongue

My knees gave out on me, and I sat down heavily on my bed. I’d rather be on his tongue too.

Me: Hold on to that thought. I’ll be home this weekend.

Liam: I’ll be waiting

***

I expected my dad to pick me up from school late Saturday morning, but it was my mom. The idea of an hour in the car fending off her questions almost made me change my mind and stay at school, but then I remembered how much I wanted to see my dad. And Liam. God, I was almost crawling out of my skin with need to see Liam. I could suffer through an hour of my mom’s interrogations if I knew my two favorite guys were the reward at the end of the trip.

“Where’s Dad?” I asked, dropping my overnight bag into the back seat.

She looked in the rearview mirror and reapplied her lipstick. Mom always looked impeccable. There was never an excuse to be sloppy.

“He was a little tired after his treatment yesterday, so he’s taking a nap. He wanted to make sure he was rested for when you got home.” She refused to look at me, which gave me a bad feeling. “Ready?” she asked, sitting back in her seat.

I nodded as I buckled up, trying to decipher all the things my mother wasn’t saying. I’d already asked her about Dad’s treatments dozens of times over the phone, and she refused to give me any details. I wasn’t going to worry any less if I didn’t have facts. Did she not realize I had access to the Internet, WebMD, and an overactive imagination? I hoped the worst-case scenarios I was reading about online and devising in my head weren’t even close to what my father was actually going through. I knew fatigue was one of the side effects of chemo, but so were nausea and pain. My stomach twisted uncomfortably with worry.

“How are your grades so far? Have you made it to all your classes on time?”

Jesus.
We weren’t even on Route 1 yet, and the inquisition had begun.

“Good to see you too, Mom,” I answered.

“I just want to make sure you’re staying on top of things, Alexis. This is your first time on your own and—”

I sighed. “I’m fine, Mom. All of my grades so far are As, and I haven’t missed a single class.”

She turned to eye me critically, checking to see if she could detect any truths I might be hiding. When she faced the road again, she changed the subject. “Talia and MaryAnn were just saying the other day how excited they are that you’ll be home for the weekend. They’d like to see you.”

I highly doubted my friends had said that. I hadn’t talked to them since I’d left for school, and neither of them had reached out to me. Both were staying close to home, attending community college, hanging out with the same crowd—Melissa. I think the only person excited about the possibility of me hanging out with my old friends was my mom.

“I don’t think I’ll have time for that, Mom. I’m planning to spend time with you and Dad. And I want to see Liam too.”

My mother took a deep breath and then released it in frustration. “I thought this infatuation of yours would dwindle once you were away at school and meeting new people. That boy isn’t the right kind of—”

“Mom,” I admonished, cutting her off. I rolled my eyes and then pulled the lever on my seat to lay it flat. I didn’t want to get into an argument with her about Liam again. We were never going to agree, and I didn’t want to start my weekend at home on the wrong foot. “You don’t mind if I catch a little nap, do you?” I put my earbuds in, turned on my iPod, and pretended to relax. I was anything but relaxed. I was disappointed. I was anxious. And I was counting down the minutes until I could get out of this car again.

Through the slits of my closed eyes, I could see my mother purse her lips. I felt sort of guilty tuning her out, but I knew if I didn’t, I’d just end up angry with her. Guilt was much easier.

When we pulled into our driveway an hour later, I opened the door and hopped out before Mom could even put it in park. The front door was already unlocked, and when I entered the house, I was bombarded with all the smells of home. I felt some of my unease melt away. That is until I rounded the corner into the family room to find my dad tucked into the recliner section of the couch. He was lying on his back with his eyes closed. He was buried under one of the thick blankets that usually hung over the arm of the sofa.

His face was so thin and frail-looking. It had only been a few weeks since I’d last seen him, but it looked like he’d lost more weight. His once-thick hair was patchy and unkempt-looking. I felt like I’d been punched in my lungs. Someone had taken my strong, solid father and replaced him with a sickly wisp of a man.

I heard my mother’s heels click on the tile of the kitchen floor behind me, and I spun around to pin her with an angry glare. “You could have warned me,” I hissed.

She dropped her purse on the island. “You didn’t stay awake long enough.” Her comment lacked all the nastiness she could have put into it. I had ignored her, and she had every right to be pissed at me. Instead, I saw the grief and fatigue that were plaguing her, and I hated that I’d tuned her out. Yes, she could be annoying. Yes, she nitpicked. But she was still my mother. And she was going through this awful journey just as much as my Dad was. A journey that she wouldn’t let me be a part of. When I asked for any details about Dad on the phone, she redirected the conversation to my classes, insisting that I needed to keep my focus on my schoolwork.

She promised that everything was fine at home. She never wanted to talk about my dad, or the future, or the possibility that he might not get better. Then again, she never wanted to talk about Sam either. Mom didn’t know how to deal with things she couldn’t regulate.

I walked over to her and put my arms around her, resting my cheek against her shoulder. At first she stood stiffly, prim and proper. But when I didn’t move away, she finally allowed her arms to accept the hug I was giving her. I don’t know how long we stood like that, grieving without crying, when my dad finally spoke.

“That you, Alexis?” he croaked. Even though he just woke up from a nap, he sounded exhausted.

I lifted my head to meet his gaze, and I forced a smile to my mouth. “Hey, Daddy.”

“Come here,” he said, motioning lethargically with his hand. “I was about to watch some
Shark Tank
on the DVR. I know how much you like that show.”

I crossed the room and sat down next to him. When he found the right episode and set down the remote, I reached over and grabbed his hand.

“Glad you’re home,” he whispered.

“Me too.”

My mom came and sat down on the other side of me. She didn’t reach for my hand, but I was grateful for her presence anyway. I wouldn’t let myself cry. Seeing my dad like this was awful, but at least I was getting time with him. The only good thing about knowing he was sick was also knowing that each moment with him was precious. I didn’t have that chance with Sam. If I had known that the last time I saw her would be the last time I’d ever see her again, I would have done things differently. I would have told her how much I wanted to be like her. I would have told her how much she meant to me. I would have told her I loved her. I would have told her a lot of things.

I realized no matter what, I had that chance with my dad.

***

Dad went to bed early, and Mom followed him, saying she was just going to read. I had a feeling she was doing the same thing I was, stealing every moment possible to be with him. Alone in our big house that was so empty of activity, but so full of memories, I felt the sudden need to get away. I wanted to see Liam, but I couldn’t bear the thought of waiting another moment for him. I had to find him.

I grabbed the car keys off the hook, pulled out the crumpled-up envelope from the care package he’d sent me, and typed the address into the GPS in the SUV. I wasn’t familiar with the road that he lived on since he lived in the next town over, and I’d never been there.

As I got closer to where Liam lived, I could see what he meant about our lives being so different from one another. All my friends were from my private school. They lived in expensive homes in fancy neighborhoods. Liam’s neighborhood was the kind of place that made me want to lock the doors up tight. And I hated myself for thinking that, for being so judgmental. He’d told me plenty of times that our backgrounds were different. That he’d had to settle fights with his fists. I guess I hadn’t really understood what that meant.

The GPS gave me the final direction to turn, and I pulled up in front of a house that looked like it wouldn’t survive a harsh breeze. There was one shutter on the front of the house that was dangling by a corner. The porch was held together by chipped paint and half-broken boards. I couldn’t believe someone as amazing as Liam lived in a place as gloomy as this. But his Jeep was parked in the driveway, so I knew I was in the right place. And then it struck me that I hadn’t even considered that he wouldn’t be home. He could have been at the levees tonight, partying with everyone else, but he was home, probably waiting for me to call him.

My chest swelled, emotion filling all the pockets of sadness that had riddled my heart since seeing my dad. Liam told me he’d be waiting. I just hadn’t realized he’d meant that literally.

I walked up the rickety steps, but before I made it to the front door, it swung open. Liam propped open the frame that was missing its screen and stared at me in shock. “Lex! What are you doing here? How’d you know where I lived?” He said the word “lived” like it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

I shrugged and grinned at him, lifting up my arm to show him the rainbow bracelet. “Return address on this baby.”

An uncertain smile curved his lips as he reached out to touch the charm. “You were meant to wear this.”

“I love it,” I said as I tucked a piece of my now shortened hair behind my ear.

“You know what?” he asked, cocking his head to the side. “That Julie girl’s all right. I like your new haircut, baby. It looks good on you.”

“Want to know what else would look good on me?”

His eyes lifted to mine.

“You.” I stepped closer to him until I was near enough I could have kissed him. I held myself back. “Are you going to invite me in or what?” And then my mouth closed the distance between us and I kissed him with weeks of pent-up desire.

Liam’s arms came around me, and he pulled me into the house, kicking the door shut behind us. Backing up, he led me around a corner to a set of stairs. Just before taking the first step up, he broke the kiss. “Let me take you out to dinner.”

“I don’t need dinner,” I murmured, stealing another kiss. “I only need you. And I don’t want to be out in public; I want to keep you all to myself. I just want to be with you and not come up for air.” My fingers snuck up under his shirt, and when I touched the skin at his sides, his mouth found mine again as he led me up the steps, stumbling and kissing and touching every inch of the way.

The door at the top of the stairway opened to a bedroom with a low ceiling that made it look more attic than anything. The room was drafty and sparse but clean. That’s all I managed to notice before we tumbled onto the bed, hands and lips touching and exploring and rediscovering.