The Complete Private Collection: Private; Invitation Only; Untouchable; Confessions; Inner Circle; Legacy; Ambition; Revelation; Last Christmas; Paradise ... The Book of Spells; Ominous; Vengeance (180 page)

But of course she was. The second she’d left Mr. Holmes’s class, she’d felt this overwhelming
need
to buy Daniel the perfect pre-Christmas gift. True, she’d already gotten him a Tag Heuer watch engraved with his initials. But after her conversation with Paige, she realized that she needed to do something to prove her devotion to Daniel. And that something couldn’t wait until Christmas Day.

But now it was five fifty-five. She still hadn’t started her paper, and the store was closing in five minutes. Ariana wanted more than anything to follow Noelle, to just leave, but she couldn’t walk away. She had gotten it into her mind that she needed something more for Daniel, and she couldn’t go back to Billings until she had found something.

One of the salesgirls started cashing out her register while the beefy manager hung around by the door, his keys already out. Ariana suddenly felt stretched tight and panicky. Why had she convinced herself that the only thing that could bring her back to center was a stupid hat? Picking up a thick cashmere scarf, Ariana decided not to dwell on the nagging suspicion that it was because being worthy of Daniel went—in Paige’s mind, at least—hand in hand with being worthy of Billings. And the idea that Paige might have heard Ariana
and Thomas talking after morning assembly made Ariana sick to her stomach. But there was no way to be sure exactly what Paige knew, or what she suspected—and Paige would never come right out and say it. That would be too easy. A cryptic comment here, an icy stare there, until Ariana went insane. Slow, murderous torture. That was the Billings way.

She sighed, put the scarf down, and examined the sleeve of a blue windbreaker. Suddenly a frigid hand clamped the back of her neck and Ariana’s breath caught in her throat. She whirled around. Thomas Pearson smirked down at her. Even as her heart stopped beating and her neck tingled where he’d touched her, she forced her eyes to narrow in indignation.

“What is your problem?” she snapped.

“You shouldn’t scare so easy,” he replied with his irritatingly sexy smirk. A light dusting of snowflakes was scattered over his hair, and his nose and cheeks were flushed, his eyes bright. Adrenaline raced through Ariana’s veins, making her entire body feel shaky.

“What are you doing here?” She glanced quickly around. Apart from the salesgirl and the manager, there were only two other people in the store, both girls, but neither from Easton Academy.

“Um, shopping?” He looked at her like she’d lost her mind.

“Like you’d ever wear North Face,” she replied, hoping her pounding heart wasn’t visible through her sweater. “Aren’t you more of a grunge boy than a ski rat?”

“So now you’re keeping tabs on my style?” Thomas raised an eyebrow.

“Stop doing that,” she demanded, trying to keep her voice low. She fought the urge to fan her cheeks. Had it been this hot in here just two minutes ago?

“Doing what?” he smirked.

“Acting like you know me. Like we’re friends.” Thick tension hovered in the space between them. God, she wanted to reach out and brush the snow out of his hair. Instead she turned away from him for a moment and grabbed the red hat up again. “We’re not.”

“No kidding.”

He took a step closer to her. So close she could see that the blue right around his pupils was slightly darker than the rest of his eyes. Her heart thudded in her chest and her breath came out short and raspy. Because even though she was holding the hat she was about to buy for Daniel, she wanted to pull it over Thomas’s dark hair and pull his lips to hers. She wasn’t supposed to be attracted to someone like Thomas, someone who didn’t make sense, someone who could make her lose control, someone who was right now leaning in to
kiss her.

She closed her eyes, feeling his warm breath, waiting for the contact.

Suddenly, the clothing rack behind them jarred, sending Ariana tumbling forward into Thomas’s chest.

“Oops!” A girl’s voice sounded on the other side of the rack. “Sorry.”

Heart pounding, Ariana pushed away from Thomas, her eyes darting around the back of the store. The walls were getting closer, pressing the racks of thick clothing in all around her, squeezing out
the air. She felt as if her ribs were curling in on her chest, crushing her lungs. Her temples pulsed.

“You need to leave. Now.”

“Ariana. What’s wrong?”

Even in the midst of her growing panic, she heard the concern in his usually playful voice and was touched. She braced a hand on top of a metal rack full of ski jackets and forced herself to breathe.

In . . . two . . . three . . .

Out . . . two . . . three. . . .

“Are you okay?”

He touched her back with his palm and she flinched away. Of course she wasn’t okay. She was in the middle of a panic attack. Couldn’t he see that? She had been careless, had let her guard down for just a second. Had done it where anyone could see. It was too dangerous. If word ever got back to Paige . . . Ariana didn’t want to think about what could happen. What Paige had the power to do. Things had almost gone too far. That could not happen again. Ever.

“Just go,” she said, her voice raspy.

“Fine.” And just like that, the concern was gone. His face shut down. And then he was gone as well.

Ariana closed her eyes and continued to count through her breathing. In . . . two . . . three . . . Out, two, three. Until the walls finally expanded again. Until the air whooshed back and her skin began to cool. When she opened her eyes again, the remaining salesgirl was eyeing her warily from the counter.

“We’re closing,” the girl said with disdain. As if she were talking
to some smelly street urchin who had come in solely to loiter and get warm.

Move,
Ariana told herself.
Just move.

She lifted her chin and somehow made it to the front of the store, where she paid for Daniel’s hat. She no longer cared if it was perfect. She just needed to buy it and get the hell out of there. She needed to get back to Billings. Better yet, she needed to get away, period. As she exited into the night, she barely felt the icy wind whip her hair around her face.

“What exactly were you doing in there?” Noelle hooked her arm through Ariana’s and nodded toward the front of the North Face store.

Ariana’s blood ran cold. Why wasn’t Noelle in Sweet Nothings? Why was she waiting for her on the street? Had she seen Thomas leave? But following Noelle’s gaze, Ariana realized Noelle was pointing at Sergei, who was strolling across the street, a small North Face shopping bag swinging from his wrist. He must have walked out right before Ariana had. How had she not noticed him inside?

“Looks like your little Latvian admirer has upgraded to stalker.” Noelle smirked. She gave Sergei a mocking little wave. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and upped his pace. “How cute,” she said sardonically.

“Noelle, that is
not
cute. I cannot have a stalker.”

Especially not if he saw me with Thomas.
Ariana clenched her fists as Sergei glanced back at her with his cold, flat eyes. Had he been in the store the whole time? Had he witnessed her panic attack? And—even
worse—had he seen what she and Thomas had almost done? Ariana’s pulse started racing again.

“Oh, please. He’s totally harmless,” Noelle said with a dismissive flick of the wrist. “So he has a little crush. Who the hell cares?”

I do
, Ariana thought as Noelle dragged her down the sidewalk. Because if Sergei had seen her with Thomas—had seen them almost kiss—then she cared
very
much.

“What do you mean you can’t leave for Vermont?” Daniel’s eyes blazed.

Morning light poured through the large windows on the far side of Easton’s dining hall. As the room started to fill with students, the sounds of laughter, clinking silverware, and scraping chairs bubbled up around Ariana. She shifted in her wooden seat, glancing around to see if anyone was watching. Of course, they were. But luckily, most of the Billings Girls had yet to arrive.

“It’s just that I have to finish this paper,” she said quietly.

Or, more accurately,
start
this paper. Ariana had stayed up all night trying to put her thoughts on paper, but unfortunately the only thoughts in her mind were about sex. She kept trying to picture losing her virginity to Daniel, kept trying to map it out in her mind so she’d be prepared when it happened. All night long she had been imagining her and Daniel in the posh lodge bedroom with candles all around.
She was wearing her favorite white silk nightgown; he was wearing a T-shirt and striped pajama pants. He started to kiss her. They slowly undressed. The whole thing was fine. Perfect even. But then, when she arrived at the pivotal moment in her daydream, Daniel always morphed into Thomas. Every time. And then she would break out in a sweat and have to start the whole thing over again.

At this rate, she was never going to be prepared. And she was never going to write that paper, either.

“How long have you known this was going to happen?” Daniel demanded.

“Since last night,” Ariana admitted.

Daniel huffed an exaggerated sigh. “Then why didn’t you call me?”

Because I couldn’t bear to let you down
, Ariana thought.
I couldn’t admit that I’d failed. Failed you, failed us, failed . . . failed . . . failed. . . .

“I don’t know,” she said lamely.

“Ari, the Hearsts are coming over for dinner tonight. I wanted you to be there. My parents are
expecting
you to be there.” A vein along Daniel’s temple pulsed.

Ariana grabbed her forearm and squeezed. She hated when Daniel got like this. It made her feel so small. “I know, and I’m sorry. I just need this afternoon, and then I’ll come up and join you. I just can’t leave with you in an hour.”

“This freakin’ sucks.”

“I know. But I got you a present to keep you warm until I get there,” she said with false enthusiasm, handing him a silver-wrapped box
with a red velvet ribbon. She had spent forty-five minutes getting the bow just right.

Daniel just looked at it, still stewing.

“Open it!” Ariana said brightly.

He sighed again and tore the ribbon off, letting it fall to the floor. Ariana watched it flutter to the floor, her jaw clenched in irritation.

It was just a bow,
she told herself.
You can’t expect a guy to notice a bow. . . .

Daniel pulled the hat out and stared at it, saying nothing. The seconds felt like hours. She wished he would accept her apology and move on. The dining hall was filling up quickly now, and the Billings Girls were almost through the line. She didn’t want to have this conversation in front of everyone. Especially not Paige.

“Daniel?” Ariana prompted.

“It’s great. Thanks,” he said moodily. He tossed the box on the table just as their friends started to arrive.

“Uh-oh. Someone’s pissed,” Noelle teased Daniel. She placed her tray of cereal and fruit down and sank into her usual spot next to Ariana. Paige, Dash, and Isobel filled the other seats. “Did Ari tell you about her hot rendezvous last night?” It was as if all the air had been drained from the cafeteria. As everyone turned to look at her, Ariana clutched her coffee mug so tightly her knuckles turned white. Noelle couldn’t be talking about Thomas, right? Had she seen them after all?

“Don’t bother playing coy,” Paige said, sitting down at the head of the table and biting into a green apple. Her face looked pinched. Angry. “It’s insulting.”

“Yeah.” Isobel smiled. “Noelle already told us all about your Latvian
lovah
,” she said, licking a dollop of yogurt from the back of her spoon.

“Your Latvian lover?” Daniel looked baffled.

“You know,
Sergei
,” Noelle sang, brushing her dark hair over her shoulder.

The entire table dissolved into laughter, and Ariana felt all the tension flow out of her body. She forced a laugh and counted the number of buttons on Noelle’s Marc Jacobs blouse—twelve—until her heart settled in her chest.

“That freak? What’d he do now?” Daniel snapped.

“Nothing,” Ariana replied. “We just happened to be in the same store at the same time.”

The explanation seemed to satisfy Daniel. He picked a grape out of Ariana’s fruit cup and slumped back in his chair, brooding as he chewed. Clearly he was still annoyed about Ariana’s announcement, but at least he knew nothing about Thomas.

“So what time are you leaving, Noelle?” Isobel asked.

Ariana buttered her toast and let the conversation wash over her. She noticed Thomas sitting a few tables over, shaking his head at Gage, who was doubled over in laughter. A few tables down from them was Sergei sitting alone, wearing his trademark argyle sweater and glasses, hunched over a book. Ariana didn’t know why the sight of him make her heart ping in her chest. She shouldn’t feel sorry for him. He was creepy and possibly stalking her. But she couldn’t help but feel like she understood him a little. Because even though she had
friends, had Billings, she could relate to his loneliness. No one really knew her, either.

Daniel touched her arm. Swallowing the gigantic lump that was now hovering in her throat, Ariana tuned back into the conversation. When she looked into his eyes, she could see that he’d decided to forgive her. She felt her shoulders relax.

“Is there anything I can do?” he offered, smoothing his green khakis over his knees. “Make it easier for you to get out of here on time?”

“Like what?” Ariana asked as Paige speared a piece of grapefruit with a butter knife. An acidic drop landed on Ariana’s cheek. Paige smirked a halfhearted apology and went back to her grapefruit.

“Write a few pages while you pack?” Daniel offered.

“You haven’t even read the book!” Ariana laughed.

“Doesn’t matter,” Dash said over a mouthful of bagel. “Dude can pull any assignment out of his ass. He wrote Gage’s Western civ term paper in an hour and a half last year and he got an A-minus.”

Ariana glanced quizzically at Daniel, and he shrugged. “Lost a bet,” he explained.

“Thanks,” Ariana smiled, happy that, for the moment, things seemed back to normal. “But I have to finish this on my own. If you want to help, you can take my bags up to Vermont so I don’t have to deal with them on the train.”