The Conflict (15 page)
Authors: Elisabeth Badinter
42
Australian Bureau of Statistics, “Births, Australia, 1998,”
http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/[email protected]/0/1DECC52B47FC8E26CA2569DE002139C1?Open
.
http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/[email protected]/0/1DECC52B47FC8E26CA2569DE002139C1?Open
.
43
Dorbritz, “Germany: Family Diversity with Low Actual and Desired Fertility,” pp. 570â71. He refers to figures from the 1999â2003 German micro-censuses.
44
Phillip Longman, “The Return of Patriarchy,”
Foreign Policy
, February 17, 2006.
Foreign Policy
, February 17, 2006.
45
Pascale Donati, “La non-procréation: un écart à la norme,”
Informations sociales
, no. 107 (2003): 44â51.
Informations sociales
, no. 107 (2003): 44â51.
46
Ibid., pp. 49â50.
47
Gold and Wilson, “Legitimizing the Child-free Family,” p. 71.
48
Devienne,
Ãtre femme sans être mère
, pp. 32â38.
Ãtre femme sans être mère
, pp. 32â38.
49
Ibid., p. 56.
50
See Mardy S. Ireland,
Reconceiving Women: Separating Motherhood from Female Identity
(New York: Guilford Press, 1993), p. 157, and Bartlett,
Will You Be Mother?
, p. 115. The latter comments: “Child-free women often say [that] mothers are jealous of [them]. âA lot of my friends say that if they had their time over again they would make the same decision as me. They love their children dearly but just feel restricted by them.'”
Reconceiving Women: Separating Motherhood from Female Identity
(New York: Guilford Press, 1993), p. 157, and Bartlett,
Will You Be Mother?
, p. 115. The latter comments: “Child-free women often say [that] mothers are jealous of [them]. âA lot of my friends say that if they had their time over again they would make the same decision as me. They love their children dearly but just feel restricted by them.'”
51
Odile Bourguignon, “La question de l'enfant,”
L'Année sociologique
37 (1987): 93â118. Quoted by Donati, “Ne pas avoir d'enfant,” p. 14.
L'Année sociologique
37 (1987): 93â118. Quoted by Donati, “Ne pas avoir d'enfant,” p. 14.
52
Toulemon et al., “France: High and Stable Fertility,” p. 516.
53
See Rosemary Gillespie, “Voluntary Childlessness in the United Kingdom,”
Reproductive Health Matters
7, no. 13 (May 1999): 43â53; Gillespie, “When No Means No: Disbelief, Disregard and Deviance as Discourses of Voluntary Childlessness,”
Women's Studies International Forum
23, no. 2 (MarchâApril 2000): 223â34; Gillespie, “Contextualizing Voluntary Childlessness Within a Postmodern Model of Reproduction: Implications for Health and Social Needs,”
Critical Social Policy
21, no. 2 (May 2001): 139â59; and Gillespie, “Childfree and Feminine: Understanding the Gender Identity of Voluntarily Childless Women,”
Gender & Society
17, no. 1 (February 2003): 122â36.
Reproductive Health Matters
7, no. 13 (May 1999): 43â53; Gillespie, “When No Means No: Disbelief, Disregard and Deviance as Discourses of Voluntary Childlessness,”
Women's Studies International Forum
23, no. 2 (MarchâApril 2000): 223â34; Gillespie, “Contextualizing Voluntary Childlessness Within a Postmodern Model of Reproduction: Implications for Health and Social Needs,”
Critical Social Policy
21, no. 2 (May 2001): 139â59; and Gillespie, “Childfree and Feminine: Understanding the Gender Identity of Voluntarily Childless Women,”
Gender & Society
17, no. 1 (February 2003): 122â36.
54
Rosemary Gillespie cites predictions in the 2000
Social Trends
in her article “Childfree and Feminine.”
Social Trends
in her article “Childfree and Feminine.”
55
Gillespie, “Contextualizing Voluntary Childlessness Within a Postmodern Model of Reproduction,” pp. 49â50.
56
Ireland,
Reconceiving Women
, p. 6.
Reconceiving Women
, p. 6.
57
Catherine Hakim,
Work-Lifestyle Choices in the 21st Century
(Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press, 2000), p. 82. See also Judith Butler's work on queer theory.
Work-Lifestyle Choices in the 21st Century
(Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press, 2000), p. 82. See also Judith Butler's work on queer theory.
7. FRENCH WOMEN: A SPECIAL CASE
1
Bronislaw Malinowski,
La sexualité et sa répression dans les sociétés primitives
(Paris: Payot, 1932), pp. 19â20. This text is quoted by the psychoanalyst Hélène Deutsch and spoken as her own words in
La psychologie des femmes
, vol. 2,
Maternité
(Paris: Presses Universitaires de France, 2002), pp. 2â3.
La sexualité et sa répression dans les sociétés primitives
(Paris: Payot, 1932), pp. 19â20. This text is quoted by the psychoanalyst Hélène Deutsch and spoken as her own words in
La psychologie des femmes
, vol. 2,
Maternité
(Paris: Presses Universitaires de France, 2002), pp. 2â3.
2
Pascale Pontoreau,
Des enfants, en avoir ou pas
(Montreal: Les Ãditions de l'Homme, 2003), p. 30.
Des enfants, en avoir ou pas
(Montreal: Les Ãditions de l'Homme, 2003), p. 30.
3
To encourage women to breast-feed on demand and wherever they are, followers of the La Leche League have been organizing public breast-feeding days in all major French cities since 2006. In 2006, five hundred mothers took part; in 2009, twenty-two hundred of them did, according to
Le Parisien
of October 12, and twenty-four hundred, according to the organizers.
Le Parisien
of October 12, and twenty-four hundred, according to the organizers.
4
Olivier Thévenon, “Les politiques familiales des pays développés: des modèles contrastés,”
Population et Sociétés
, no. 448 (September 2008).
Population et Sociétés
, no. 448 (September 2008).
5
Laurent Toulemon, Ariane Pailhé, and Clémentine Rossier, “France: High and Stable Fertility,”
Demographic Research
19, article 16 (July 1, 2008): 533.
Demographic Research
19, article 16 (July 1, 2008): 533.
6
INSEE predictions published in August 2009. Only Icelandic women, with 2.1 children per woman, do better. But this nation is not yet integrated in Europe. The synthesized figure for births per woman in Ireland is 2.0, as it is for Norwegians, when the European average is 1.5. See Gilles Pison, “Tous les pays du monde,”
Population et Sociétés
, no. 458 (JulyâAugust 2009).
Population et Sociétés
, no. 458 (JulyâAugust 2009).
7
Le Figaro
, August 24, 2009. In 1994, 275,248 children were born out of wedlock compared to 465,526 in wedlock. In 2008, they formed the majority: 435,156 compared to 393,248.
, August 24, 2009. In 1994, 275,248 children were born out of wedlock compared to 465,526 in wedlock. In 2008, they formed the majority: 435,156 compared to 393,248.
8
Ibid.
9
Magali Mazuy,
Ãtre prêt-e, être prêts ensemble? Entrée en parentalité des hommes et des femmes en France
(doctoral thesis in demography, Université Paris I Panthéon-Sorbonne, September 2006), pp. 153â54. The statistics cited are taken from an article by
Henri Leridon and Laurent Toulemon, “La régulation des naissances se généralise,”
Cahiers de l'INED
, no. 149 (2002): 477â95.
Ãtre prêt-e, être prêts ensemble? Entrée en parentalité des hommes et des femmes en France
(doctoral thesis in demography, Université Paris I Panthéon-Sorbonne, September 2006), pp. 153â54. The statistics cited are taken from an article by
Henri Leridon and Laurent Toulemon, “La régulation des naissances se généralise,”
Cahiers de l'INED
, no. 149 (2002): 477â95.
10
Toulemon et al., “France: High and Stable Fertility,” p. 522.
11
Thévenon, “Les politiques familiales des pays développés.”
12
Ibid.
13
The opposite case is proved by the United States, where family policy is much less generous than in most European countries and yet the birthrate is significantly higher.
14
Elisabeth Badinter,
Mother Love: Myth and RealityâMotherhood in Modern History
(New York: Macmillan, 1981), pp. 52â136. In 1780, the lieutenant general of the Paris police force, Lenoir, estimated that of the twenty-one thousand children born annually, fewer than one thousand were breast-fed by their mothers, one thousand were breast-fed by a wet nurse at home, and all the rest were sent to wet nurses in the country. Prost de Royer established similar figures in Lyon.
Mother Love: Myth and RealityâMotherhood in Modern History
(New York: Macmillan, 1981), pp. 52â136. In 1780, the lieutenant general of the Paris police force, Lenoir, estimated that of the twenty-one thousand children born annually, fewer than one thousand were breast-fed by their mothers, one thousand were breast-fed by a wet nurse at home, and all the rest were sent to wet nurses in the country. Prost de Royer established similar figures in Lyon.
15
Ibid., p. 85. The word
ridiculous
frequently appears in correspondence and memoirs from the period. Mothers, mothers-in-law, and midwives advised young mothers not to breast-feed because it was not seemly for a lady to expose her breasts the whole time to feed her baby. Besides the fact that it gave a bestial image of women as “dairy cows,” the gesture itself was immodest. A breast-feeding mother therefore had to be hidden from the world, interrupting her social life for a considerable time.
ridiculous
frequently appears in correspondence and memoirs from the period. Mothers, mothers-in-law, and midwives advised young mothers not to breast-feed because it was not seemly for a lady to expose her breasts the whole time to feed her baby. Besides the fact that it gave a bestial image of women as “dairy cows,” the gesture itself was immodest. A breast-feeding mother therefore had to be hidden from the world, interrupting her social life for a considerable time.
16
François-Vincent Toussaint,
Les Moeurs
, 1748.
Les Moeurs
, 1748.
17
Madame Leprince de Beaumont,
Avis aux parents et aux maîtres sur l'éducation des enfants
, 1750.
Avis aux parents et aux maîtres sur l'éducation des enfants
, 1750.
18
François Lebrun, “25 ans d'études démographiques sur la France d'Ancien Régime: bilans et perspectives,”
Historiens et géo-graphes
, October 1976.
Historiens et géo-graphes
, October 1976.
19
See Abbé de Pure's
La Précieuse
, 1656â58: “The sweetest thing about our France is that of women's freedom; and it is so great across the entire kingdom that husbands there are almost without power and women reign supreme.”
La Précieuse
, 1656â58: “The sweetest thing about our France is that of women's freedom; and it is so great across the entire kingdom that husbands there are almost without power and women reign supreme.”
20
Badinter,
Mother Love
, part 2, “A New Honor: Mother Love.”
Mother Love
, part 2, “A New Honor: Mother Love.”
21
Edward Shorter,
The Making of the Modern Family
(New York: Basic Books, 1976), p. 264.
The Making of the Modern Family
(New York: Basic Books, 1976), p. 264.
22
Jules Renard,
Carrot Top
, first published by Flammarion in Paris in 1894 and widely known in France.
Carrot Top
, first published by Flammarion in Paris in 1894 and widely known in France.
23
Geneviève Delaisi de Parseval and Suzanne Lallemand,
L'art d'accommoder les bébés
(Paris: Seuil, 1980), pp. 101â5.
L'art d'accommoder les bébés
(Paris: Seuil, 1980), pp. 101â5.
24
The average age for having a first child is close to thirty.
Le Monde
, October 20, 2009.
Le Monde
, October 20, 2009.
25
Jane Bartlett from the UK feels that sharing these chores is a key factor in reproduction. See
Will You Be Mother? Women Who Choose to Say No
(New York: New York University Press, 1994). According to the latest surveys, fathers have made no progress in twenty years. Mothers still take on four-fifths of household chores. See Arnaud Régnier-Loilier, “L'arrivée d'un enfant modifie-t-elle la répartition des tâches domestiques au sein du couple?”
Population et Sociétés
, no. 461 (November 2009).
Will You Be Mother? Women Who Choose to Say No
(New York: New York University Press, 1994). According to the latest surveys, fathers have made no progress in twenty years. Mothers still take on four-fifths of household chores. See Arnaud Régnier-Loilier, “L'arrivée d'un enfant modifie-t-elle la répartition des tâches domestiques au sein du couple?”
Population et Sociétés
, no. 461 (November 2009).
26
Badinter,
Mother Love
, pp. 195â231.
Mother Love
, pp. 195â231.
ELISABETH BADINTER is the acclaimed author of three seminal works on feminismâ
Mother Love: Myth and RealityâMotherhood in Modern History, Dead End Feminism
, and
XY: On Masculine Identity
âwhich have been translated into fifteen languages. For many years, Badinter taught philosophy at the Ãcole Polytechnique in Paris, where she lives.
Mother Love: Myth and RealityâMotherhood in Modern History, Dead End Feminism
, and
XY: On Masculine Identity
âwhich have been translated into fifteen languages. For many years, Badinter taught philosophy at the Ãcole Polytechnique in Paris, where she lives.
Copyright © 2010 by Ãditions Flammarion
English-language translation copyright © 2011 by Adriana Hunter
All rights reserved.
All rights reserved.
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eISBN 9781429996914
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Badinter, Elisabeth.
[Conflit. English]
The conflict : how modern motherhood undermines the status of women / Elisabeth
Badinter; translated by Adriana Hunter.
p. cm.
“Originally published in France in 2010 under the title Le Conflit : la femme et la mère by Ãditions Flammarion, Paris.”
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-0-8050-9414-5
1. Motherhood. 2. WomenâSocial conditions. 3. Sex role. I. Hunter, Adriana. II. Title.
HQ759.B22313 2012
306.874'3âdc23
2011020163
First Edition 2011
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