The Consequence of Secrets - Part One (4 page)

“Ems!” I hear Jules call out as she skips across the road waving at me. I stop walking, having just exited the post office. “Where are you heading?” she asks, coming to a breathless stop beside me in her loose flowing cream tank top that is edged with delicate looking lace, and a pair of light denim cut offs that show off her long slender limbs. She’s accessorized with long strands of sapphire colored beads around her neck and her wrist, and she has her hair styled in soft waves with her makeup subtle. She looks like a bohemian babe, and I wish I were allowed her sense of style. I’d call my own style ‘librarian chic’ as I’m always in skirts, heels and blouses. But that’s what Gabe likes, so I dress to please him.

“I’m headed to the church, what about you?”

“Well, I was going to suggest we get a coffee and catch up, but I’ll go to church with you if you think that Braden Daniels will be there. He is the very definition of ‘devine’. I think he looks a lot like that actor, Matt Bomer, don’t you? Although I hope he isn’t gay like Matt Bomer is…” She allows her words to trail off. 

“It’s
Father
Braden Daniels,” I remind her, ignoring the rest of her comments. I’m not even sure who Matt Bomer is.

She grins and her eyes sparkle. “Not after I’m finished with him,” she claims mischievously, and I shake my head at her disapprovingly. “What? Oh come on, Ems, even you have to admit that man is gorgeous. It’s just wrong that he isn’t on the market. Surely, even God isn’t cruel enough to wave that tasty morsel in front of our faces and expect us not to bite. And Father Braden is grade A plus tasty goodness. Even under all those vestments you can tell that man is ripped. I’ll bet he’s a fantastic lover, and the only reason that he became a priest is because he’s running away from something.” She turns to face me, walking backwards as she points at her chest. “I could be the woman to heal his heart, Emma. I can be that girl for him.”

I can’t help but laugh as she falls back into step beside me. “You’re incorrigible, Jules. Lusting after a priest is all kinds of wrong.”

She shrugs. “Lucky I’m Catholic, I can just ask for forgiveness and, do my penance then all will be good with the big guy upstairs.”

“No. I’m pretty sure encouraging a priest to break his vows is a one way ticket to hell,” I respond.

She nudges against me and produces a pout. “It is not. And I don’t really know why you care, you don’t even believe in God anymore.”

“I have my reasons,” I respond.

“I know,” she says. “But, what I don’t understand is why you keep up this whole daily prayer routine. You know you could just attend Sunday mass like the rest of us.”

I nod. “I know, and I have my reasons for that too.”

“If you say so,” she says, with a shrug. “Although if you wanted, you could tell me those reasons. You know I wouldn’t tell anyone. I haven’t breathed a word about…well… you know.”

“I do know. And I will tell you…one day,” I assure her, knowing full well that I never will. She doesn’t need my shit in her life. I made my choices, and now I have to live with them.

“Bless me Father for I have sinned,” the young boy says in the confessional.

“Shouldn’t you be at school, son?” I ask, feeling concerned that this boy may be cutting school in order to be here.

“Well, yeah. I guess that’s something I should add to my confession. I promise I’ll go straight to class when this is through. I’ve just got somethin’ that’s on my mind, Father.”

“I see,” I respond, glancing toward the confessional window where I can’t see much more than an outline of the boy, but I’d put him at around eight years old.

“OK, well, it’s been, forever since my last confession because I’m not even Catholic. But, I do believe in God and well, my church doesn’t have confession, and I don’t want my pastor to tell my mom, so I came here.”

“I see,” I say again, wondering what’s got this boy so nervous that he felt the need to confess.

“I um…I used my sister’s toothbrush to clean the toilet, and now she’s got a stomach ache. Do you think that’s my fault?”

My brow lifts as my mouth quirks in a smile after I hear his worry. “Um, let’s see. How come you decided to use her toothbrush?”

“Because she was too busy talkin’ to her
boyfriend
on the phone, and I ended up having to do her chores.”

“And when did this happen?”

“About a week ago.”

“And when did she start feeling sick?”

“Just this morning.”

“And was that the only time you used her toothbrush?”

“Yeah. I felt kinda bad after, coz she gave me a Hershey bar coz I didn’t tell mom and dad on her for talking to a boy.”

“I see. Well, I’m fairly sure that you didn’t cause her stomachache. And I’m also fairly sure that you’ve learned your lesson. Are you planning on cleaning the toilet with her toothbrush again?”

He takes in a large inhale of breath. “Well, no. It felt good to get her back but it felt bad at the same time. Plus, toothbrushes are small, and it took ages.”

I bite my lip as I smile. “Alright then, I think you should run along now to school, OK?”

“Sure. But Father, you’re not gonna tell anyone, are you?”

“No, son. This is between you and God.”

“OK. Thanks,” he says, before I hear the door open and close then I check my watch, seeing that confession time is over. Then I exit the small door, lift my stole over my head, press a kiss to it and fold it before slipping it in my pocket.

As I head toward the rectory with a plan to change out of my cassock, and into my clerics, my eyes drift to the pews, knowing that our daily visitor with the colorful eyes will be there with her head bowed in prayer. And as always, she’s there, although today, she has her sister kneeling beside her.

For a moment, I watch them both, seeing that her sister is doing very little praying, and a lot of talking. So I don’t feel as though I’m interrupting when I approach their pew.

“Good morning, ladies,” I say in greeting, and Jules shoots up to a standing position and grins broadly.

“Father Braden!” she exclaims, her voice too loud for the church’s walls. She cringes a little and reins it in before she speaks again. “So nice to see you again, I’m assuming you’ll be leading Sunday Mass this week?”

“Oh, I’m sure Father Matthew will lead. He is senior to me after all. I’ll have my part though.”

Her face falls into a pout. “How dull,” she comments, and I drop my gaze for a moment to hide my amusement at her blunt comments.

“How are you today, Emma?” I ask, tilting to the side to look around Jules. I’ve thought about Emma a lot in the last twenty-four hours. Mostly out of concern because of the way she flinched when I touched her shoulder, that and her seemingly timid demeanor don’t spell anything good in my experience. And I feel a need to make sure she’s OK.

“I’m well, thank you,” she replies in a formal tone.

I meet her gaze for a moment, trying to read the things she isn’t saying, but she looks away, and I find myself drawing in a quick breath. “Well, since I both Williams sisters here, if neither of you is busy today, perhaps you’d like to accompany me to the youth center? You can see what your family’s donation will be doing.”

Emma shakes her head. “Oh, I don’t know…”

Jules cuts her off and grabs her forearm, pulling it against her as her face lights up. “We’d love to,” she answers for both of them. “Wouldn’t we Ems?”

I look between them and smile as Emma concedes with a nod.

“Fantastic. Just give me a moment to change, and I’ll meet you both out front.”

Heading through the door that leads to the rectory, I perform a quick change then exit through the external door and meet the two sisters outside in the sunshine. “Shall we walk?”

Jules grins. “Sure,” she says, as she slips her hand in the crook of my arm in an overly familiar gesture.

“Emma?” I ask, when I notice her hanging back. She looks around nervously, and her hand flutters up to smooth her perfect hair.

“Do you mind if we drive? It’s just that I have a schedule to keep...”

“Of course,” I reply, however, her sister doesn’t want to be quite so accommodating.

“A schedule?” she scoffs. “For what? Laundry?”

Emma’s cheeks flame red as her eyes move between Jules and me. “No, I…” she begins to explain, but I save her the trouble by interjecting.

“As long as you’re the one driving, I’m all in.”

She gives me a grateful smile and leads us to where her silver Audi is parked. Jules chatters away from the back seat the entire time. She leans forward so she’s in the middle of both Emma and myself and lets out a never-ending stream of information.

I can’t help but notice the stark contrast between the two sisters as Emma navigates the streets and listens quietly, only adding information when necessary. Despite her quiet, I gather she quite likes her boisterous sister; she has an amused smile on her face while she listens to her sister telling me about her love of a cappella singing groups.

“Do you enjoy singing yourself?” I ask.

Emma presses her lips together so she doesn’t laugh. “Jules
loves
to sing.”

“I do,” Jules agrees, her eyes sparkling with joy. “I really want to find a way to be a part of one of those
Pitch Perfect
movies.” She touches my shoulder. “You probably wouldn’t know about them being a priest and all, but they’re way popular. And the last movie had a group that got their following on YouTube, not that you’d know YouTube either, but I’m putting stuff up on there too so I can get discovered.”

I release a laugh at her assumptions. “I know what YouTube is, and shockingly, I also know all about Pitch Perfect. I have nieces who dragged me to the cinema to see both movies, and then quizzed me on which characters were my favorites.”

Jules’s cheeks go bright red. “I’m sorry, it’s just that you're a priest, and I thought…”

“That we aren’t allowed to have fun? Being a priest is about serving God and the church – it isn’t a penance. It’s not about being miserable. Being a priest, while it’s part of who I am, it’s still my job. I do have other interests and shockingly, I’m human, and I’m a guy, and I’m a son, and a brother, and an uncle, and a friend. I’m still the person I always was,” I begin to explain.

“But you just can’t have sex, right?”

“I’m celibate, yes,” I laugh again and turn my gaze to look out the window. “That’s the part the shocks people the most. Very few can understand that choice.”

“I certainly don’t understand it,” Jules says. “I mean, surely you’ve done it before – you’re totally hot by the way – so, don’t you still get urges?”

Feeling used to this line of questioning from almost everyone I’ve met since taking steps to enter the priesthood, I open my mouth to respond, but I’m silenced when Emma’s voice cuts in and there’s a slight edge to it.

“Where here,” she states. “Where should I park?”

I shift my gaze to her and see that she has a slight flush to her cheeks; she’s obviously uncomfortable with her sister’s line of questioning. So, I don’t answer, I simply direct her around to the side of the red brick building.