The Courtyard (36 page)

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Authors: Marcia Willett

BOOK: The Courtyard
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Lydia's wedding took place three days before the party and the celebrations seemed to continue right up to the night of the party and well into it. Everyone was happy for her and Charles fitted into the Nethercombe scene with no trouble at all. He'd assumed his role as step-grandfather with amazing aplomb and had enjoyed a long conversation with Jack about the Army.
‘Some women get all the luck, that's all I can say,' said Phoebe, sitting down beside Elizabeth as the evening of the party wore on. ‘He's rather a sweetie. After all, what's she got that we haven't got?' She looked at Elizabeth and was shocked to see the pain in her eyes.
‘A great deal more in the way of curves,' answered Elizabeth lightly and they both laughed.
‘I can't believe that it's a year since we sat here,' mused Phoebe. ‘And what a year! Babies, weddings, engagements! And I can't get over Guy. Love has done him no good at all. I simply can't get a rise out of him. He smiles and agrees with everything I say. It's positively sickening!'
‘Some of us simply can't deal with it,' agreed Elizabeth and Phoebe was struck once again by the sad expression on her face.
She studied her covertly and noticed that she'd lost a lot of weight since she'd seen her last. The lines on her face were more pronounced and she looked much older.
Man trouble! thought Phoebe and began to clap with everyone else as Charles could be seen climbing on to a chair, preparatory to making a speech. They'd already had some speeches, toasting the new heir to Nethercombe – Jack, very flushed and proud – and Gemma and Guy's engagement – Guy, also very flushed and proud – and everyone was in the mood for more.
‘You've all been very patient,' Charles began, amidst cheers, ‘and I shan't keep you long' – boos of disbelief – ‘but we have just one more announcement to make.' Cries of ‘Get on with it!' ‘It's simply
that Lydia and I have bought a small house in Exeter and we invite you all to our house-warming party. But not until Elizabeth has wrought a transformation on the house which is in need of a great deal of care and attention. You will all be notified in due course. Please watch this space.'
Phoebe, cheering with the rest, was surprised to see tears on Elizabeth's cheeks as she turned to smile at her.
‘Dear Lydia,' said Elizabeth and shook her head. ‘Forgive me. I'm just so happy for her. For you all.'
Phoebe smiled uncertainly but, before she could reply, she was being hauled to her feet by William Hope-Latymer who wanted her to meet someone and she could only glance back apologetically over her shoulder before she was borne off into the crowd.
 
 
ONCE THE BAPTISM OF Thomas was over – and Jack had played his part with tremendous aplomb – the inhabitants of Nethercombe found themselves looking forward to the housewarming party at the newly renovated house in Exeter. After some consideration, Lydia and Charles decided to wait until the Easter holidays arrived before the celebration took place. The Beresfords would be down, Jack and Gemma home from their respective seats of learning and everyone could be assembled once again under one roof for another party.
The only person with misgivings at this time was Nell. Everyone seemed so happy, so settled, and Nell found herself envying their security. She reminded herself of what Guy had said on this subject, finding comfort in the fact that she at least had a job with a good income. Nevertheless she would often lie awake at night wondering what on earth she would do if the owner of her cottage decided to move in himself and asked her to leave. Of course, she could always go back to the Lodge. As yet, Henry had made no attempt to relet it but he wouldn't leave it empty for ever. She still had nightmares about her attack, seeing that burly shadowy figure with its arm raised menacingly, wondering if, even in the ultimate crisis, she could ever live there alone again. Moving into Nethercombe simply wasn't an option and there was no way, yet, that she could even begin to think about buying her own home, however humble. Most of the time she was able to push these fears to one side but very often, when she was
in one or other of the Courtyard cottages, she envied the owner's ability to decorate as he or she pleased and to change or alter things without permission. Having learned so much from Elizabeth, she longed to try out her own ideas without restraint but she knew that she must wait patiently and be grateful for what she had.
Elizabeth was putting more and more responsibility into her hands now and Nell was beginning to wonder whether she was, at last, seriously thinking of retirement. After all, that was why she had offered Nell the job in the first place and over a year had passed since she'd started to work with her. Nell felt surprisingly confident at the thought of running the business – Elizabeth would still be there in the background – but she knew that she would miss her dreadfully in the day-to-day meetings and consultations and during their trips together. She had found a real friend and she gratefully treasured their moments together. The holiday she'd spent with Elizabeth in Italy was one of the happiest times of her life and this new relationship was doing so much to reconcile her to her grief and loss.
As Easter approached, Elizabeth talked of going to Italy again but this time she didn't invite Nell to go with her. Nell began to wonder if she might be going with someone else and suspected that it might be Richard. She'd met him several times and had been much struck by his distinguished looks and good-mannered charm. She discovered that he was Elizabeth's accountant, which explained certain things but not others. She began to feel quite sure that theirs was more than just a business relationship and longed to know what kept them apart. It would never have occurred to her to broach the subject, any more than she expected Elizabeth to discuss it with her. They were both reticent women who respected the other's privacy but Nell noticed enough small incidents to make her feel that change was imminent.
A few days before Elizabeth was due to leave for Italy, Nell arrived to see her at home to receive some last-minute instructions. She was rather earlier than she expected and parked behind a Rover which she was fairly certain belonged to Richard. She had hardly left her own
car when the front door opened and Richard came out. He seemed in a great hurry and barely paused to greet her. His face was strangely twisted, almost, thought Nell, as though he were trying to hold back tears. He certainly appeared to be in the grip of some strong emotion and Nell looked after him quite anxiously as he drove somewhat erratically down the drive.
‘Nell.' Elizabeth was standing on the step above her. ‘You're early. That's good. We've lots to get through.'
‘Right.' Nell followed her inside, wondering whether to draw attention to Richard's distress but as usual, when confronted by Elizabeth's cool facade, she found that she was unable to mention anything so personal.
They were soon immersed in the lists of things which Nell would be required to deal with during Elizabeth's absence and the various clients she would be expected to see and Richard was forgotten. Nell noticed, however, that Elizabeth was less poised than usual and her face held traces of strain. She wondered if they'd quarrelled or whether Elizabeth was going to Italy with someone else and Richard was jealous. Whatever it was, there was no doubt that Elizabeth was not looking her best.
‘This holiday will do you good,' said Nell impulsively. ‘You must relax in the sun and eat lots of lovely Italian food.'
‘Do I understand by this that I look haggard and thin?' wondered Elizabeth and smiled at Nell's quick flush of embarrassment. ‘Don't worry! I know I do. Lydia told me quite plainly last week that I look ninety. I had the tiniest suspicion that she was rather pleased about it!'
They both laughed and Nell shook her head.
‘That's nonsense, of course. She must be sad that you'll miss her house-warming party, especially after all the advice you've given her. It looks wonderful now. I love their new house.'
‘Better than your own?' asked Elizabeth, passing the folders of work across to Nell and sitting back in her chair.
‘Oh, no.' Nell put the folders on the floor beside her and relaxed
too. ‘Now that I've settled in, I really love my little place. They're all so different, you know, that it's difficult to choose between them but I think mine's in the best position. It gets the most sun and my little terrace at the back is quite private. No.' She sighed deeply. ‘My one terror is that the owner will want to move into it himself. I'm praying that he's bought it as an investment and that I'll be able to stay there for ever.'
‘For ever's a long time,' remarked Elizabeth lightly. She leaned to place a log on the fire. The evenings were drawing out but it was remarkably cold. ‘You don't find it difficult, living in such close proximity to other people?'
‘No,' said Nell thoughtfully, ‘it surprises me to say it, but I don't. They're all so sweet and they seem to understand that, simply because we do live at such close quarters, privacy has to be respected.'
‘That's good.' Elizabeth sat back again in her chair, her face in shadow. ‘No regrets then?'
‘What, about moving down to the Courtyard? Oh, no.' Nell shook her head decisively. ‘And after my attack, I would have been terrified to stay at the Lodge alone.'
‘And what about coming in with me?'
Nell stared at her for a moment and then laughed. ‘Regrets?' She shook her head. ‘You must be joking. It's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I shall never be able to thank you enough.'
‘Splendid.'
There was a moment of silence and Nell wondered if she should now mention Richard. She'd never had quite such an intimate talk with her before and she wondered if Elizabeth had been upset by whatever had happened earlier and would have liked to speak about it.
‘Are you …?' She cast about for ways of furthering this precious moment without sounding inquisitive. ‘Shall you be staying with friends? You seem to know so many people in Italy. And, of course, you speak the language. I was very impressed.'
Elizabeth was silent and Nell was frightened that she'd gone too
far. She sat quite still, her face still shadowed, and Nell seized desperately on the first thing that came into her head.
‘Perhaps we'll go together again one day? I should like that so much. Perhaps next spring? It was so beautiful in the spring. But I should need you to help me along. I'd be useless on my own.' She stopped, hearing her foolish words ringing on in the peace of the gracious room, now filled with the last golden light of the day.
‘I'm afraid not, my dear.' Elizabeth spoke at last and her voice was sad. ‘I'm dying. I have only a few weeks left to live and I intend to spend them in Italy. I've good friends there who will help me painlessly out of the life I have left to me. I shan't see you again after today.'
The terrible words, so calmly spoken, quite paralysed Nell, who sat staring into the shadows that were thickening about Elizabeth's chair. Presently she shook her head, as a child might, dumbly rejecting something which it simply cannot or will not believe. She swallowed once or twice and her throat was restricted and dry. She heard Elizabeth sigh.
‘Poor Nell. Perhaps I shouldn't have told you. It's been a very difficult decision but I felt the shock would be even greater if it had come from Richard afterwards. He knows, of course.'
‘I thought there was something …' Nell's voice was husky but she had gained some measure of control and had no intention of contributing to Elizabeth's burden by adding her own outburst of grief to it. ‘He will miss you dreadfully.' She felt, even more now, the desire to give Elizabeth the opportunity to speak if she so wished.
‘We've missed each other all our lives.' Nell heard rather than saw the sad smile in Elizabeth's voice. ‘Naturally enough he regrets all the lost and wasted moments. There have been many of those in this last year, I'm sad to say. It's always thus. It's too much to expect a poor human being to be able to live every moment as though it were his last. That's the only way that there can be no regrets.'
She was silent for a moment and when she spoke again her voice was brisk and cool. ‘The business is yours, of course, with enough
money to keep it going until you're fully confident. Richard will go into it all quite carefully with you. Don't worry! He'll keep you on the straight and narrow. You can trust him absolutely.'
Nell realised that the rare and all too brief moment of intimacy was over and that Elizabeth was expecting her to behave as though everything was back to normal. Nell accepted the challenge proudly. It was the least she could do for Elizabeth now.
‘I hope that I can live up to your trust in me,' she said and was relieved to hear that her voice shook only very slightly. ‘I hope that you realise that you've given me a future, a career? Because of you I'm independent. And terribly happy.'
Her voice broke on that last word and Elizabeth rose swiftly to her feet. Nell got up, too, grateful that the room was in virtual darkness, lit only by the flames of the fire.
‘I shan't ask you to stay to tea, my dear. It would be too much to ask of either of us. One of my great sadnesses is that I shall never know you better. But being able to pass into your hands everything I've worked for gives me a tremendous satisfaction. Goodbye, Nell.' Elizabeth took both her hands and kissed her lightly on the cheek. ‘Be happy, my dear. And good luck. Please go quickly.'
Nell went quickly; picking up the folders, hurrying out through the hall, stumbling down the steps, climbing into the car. She fought to hold back her tears as she drove through the darkening lanes; dry sobs escaping from her closed throat, exclamations of pain bursting from her pent-up heart. All those who had died from her seemed now to be travelling with her in this lonely little capsule, hurtling along the familiar roads; she heard Rupert's teasing voice in her ears, saw John's pleading face before her eyes and felt again the intolerable ache for her dead baby. And now Elizabeth would soon join them. ‘Remember me when I am gone away, Gone far away into the silent land.'
She turned in between the stone pillars at the bottom of the drive, fled past the Courtyard, up the drive and pulled up outside Nethercombe. She left the car and went into the hall where she paused. The
voices of Gillian and Henry could be heard beyond the library door and, after a moment, Nell passed on swift feet up the staircase and came to a halt at Gussie's door. She heard a low murmuring within and turned the handle.
‘Nell, my dear! What a lovely surprise.' Gussie peered at her over the top of her spectacles and got quickly to her feet. ‘Whatever is the matter, my dear? It's not Jack?'
‘No. Oh, no.' The sobs were beginning to tear themselves from her chest. ‘Oh, Gussie …'
Gussie sat down in her chair with a bump, her hand pressed to her heart. ‘Thank goodness. Then what is it? Oh, my dear …'
Nell ran the last few steps and fell on her knees at Gussie's side. The tears were pouring unchecked now and Gussie gathered her to her breast, concealing her own terror, stroking. Nell's hair as though she were a child.
‘Hush, my dear. Hush, now. Tell me what's happened?'
‘Elizabeth's dying, Gussie. She's going to Italy to die.' Sobs burst from her afresh as Gussie sat quite still, staring over her head. ‘Oh, whatever shall I do? Everyone I love dies. How shall I manage without her? I'd just begun to love her …'
Gussie sat on, holding Nell to her heart while she poured out her grief, and their tears mingled as they mourned together.
 
ELIZABETH WENT BACK INSIDE and shut the door behind her. She felt drained and limp. Richard's desperate outburst, cut mercifully short by Nell's arrival, had exhausted her. She'd watched his shock, listened to his pleadings that he should come with her to Italy, comforted him when he wept, as if she were distanced from his pain. The knowledge of the terrible, ineluctable advance of her own death had put a barrier between her and those who were closest to her.

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