Authors: Bonnie Vanak
“Oh, Matt,” she said softly. “That must have been horrible.”
Here was the one person he could talk to about Adam. Sienna, a stranger, who silently forged the connection he’d needed back on the subway. The safety clicked off his hard-won control. Words burst out of him like machine-gun fire.
“It was as if he’d never existed. He was my swim buddy. We went through BUD/S together—we were teammates, best friends. I was closer to him than my own family. I was there at his mating ceremony. And I couldn’t even be there at his damn funeral because I had to pretend I never knew him. Because no one is supposed to know about the Phoenix Force. So when we die, all memories die with us.”
A stray tear escaped, sliding down Sienna’s perfect cheek. Seeing her cry for Adam made him no longer feel alone in his grief, but also made him protective. Made him want to cup her face in his hands and kiss away her tears. He hated seeing her cry. Matt lifted a hand, then dropped it. Gods, he felt so damned confused lately.
“What about his body?”
“We made a promise in the team. No man gets left behind. Shay returned for Adam, but couldn’t find anything. The pyro demons had reduced him to ash, and his ashes had been taken by the wind. There was nothing left of him to return to Tatiana, his widow. Nothing.”
After wiping her eyes with a napkin, Sienna covered his hand with her own. “I’m sorry, Matt, for what the Darksider Fae did to you. To Adam.”
First-name basis. No more Lieutenant Parker. And she’d said Adam’s name again. He struggled against the urge to kiss her senseless in thanks and took a long pull of his water.
Backhanding his mouth, he shook his head. “I should have saved my buddy. We were tight. Always watched each other’s backs.”
She stroked his wrist, her thumb making little circles. Always calm and cool, his rare outburst was alarming. It was Sienna, her soft, sweet smile and genuine air of concern. She dug beneath his defenses, past the emotional berm he’d erected since Adam’s death.
“Too crowded in here,” he muttered, glancing around. “Let’s get back. I’ll arrange for transport, airline tickets.”
“To New Mexico?”
Matt nodded. “Home of your friend Tim. I’ll do some initial recon…”
As she gave him a questioning look, he sighed. “Reconnaissance. Scout out the shop and the lay of the land for a couple of days. And then move in. If the pyro demons know he has the Orb, those guys aren’t patient. I need to retrieve it before they do.”
* * *
Back at the house, Sienna watched Matt type on his laptop. Since returning, he’d been quiet and aloof. When he snapped the computer shut, she waved a hand.
“Hello? Remember me? The one who’s working with you?”
He gave her a long, cool look. “Not anymore. The stakes have changed. I know who has the Orb, and how to get it back. I’m sending you home.”
A quivering began in her belly. Sienna took a controlling breath. “Not so fast. I understand you’re angry at my people.”
Matt remained silent.
“But I didn’t steal the Orb. We’re a team in this, got it? Those were the terms. We both get the Orb and I show my people it’s safe once more.”
A bitter laugh escaped him. “Safe for how long? Your people did a helluva job guarding it. It’s because of them Adam’s dead.”
Sienna’s throat tightened. She felt his anger, his pain and frustration. But she had to convince him to let her stay. If he forced her return, he’d wipe her memories….
Her precious memories.
Worse, the name of her people would be forever smeared with disgrace. Now more than ever, it was crucial she finish this task and restore their honor.
Sienna took his palm and unfolded it, studying the rough calluses and strong fingers. “The Fae believe that when someone dies and their ashes are scattered to the four winds, it doesn’t mean that person is lost. He then becomes part of the earth and part of every living thing. That’s what became of Adam. He lives on in every breath of wind, in the laughter of every child.”
Silence draped the air. His shoulders relaxed, losing the tightly wound tension that knotted them. He lifted his face, his eyes very blue.
“All Fae are not evil,” she said gently. “Even the Unseelie, the Dark Fae, have their good side. The Darksider Fae are rogue, but they are few and live outside the boundaries and clan system of Fae. We Seelie Sidhe Fae are secluded and insular, but compassionate. We respect all living beings.”
His gaze sharpened. “A compassionate people. Then what put the chip on your shoulder about me, Sienna? About werewolves?”
Dropping his hand, she studied the tips of her faded sneakers. Fae preferred bare feet, touching the earth to maintain contact. She never had.
“Hey.” A firm hand cradled her chin, lifting it upward. His palm was warm and strong. “Tell me. What did we do to you?”
The gentleness of his touch made her toes curl inside the sneakers. Sienna took a deep breath for courage. Maybe if he knew, he’d cut her a break and let her stay.
“I’m not pure-blooded Sidhe. I’m only a half-breed. Half Fae and half Draicon.”
At his startled look, she yanked away and grated out the damned truth. “Mothered by a Fae from the Los Lobos colony, and fathered by a Draicon who raped her…and then killed her when his pack came back to try to claim me.”
Panic squeezed her heart as flashes of the past emerged, like a rapid slideshow. “
Probably
killed her when he raided the Fae colony to get me.”
“Sweet gods. How old were you?” His voice was gentle, contrasting with the hard edges of his expression.
“I think around five, maybe four. I don’t remember that much.”
“No wonder you dislike Draicon.”
Dislike
was a lukewarm term. For years she’d hated them. It was a relief to finally talk about what happened. Among her people, it had been an ugly secret no one ever discussed. “It’s so much easier to hate than try to understand. It’s fueled me for so long that it’s hard to let go.”
“Hate does that to you. It feeds you power to seek justice.” Matt’s expression tightened. “You were just a little thing. I’d kill the bast…the Draicon who did that to your mother. Did she ever say who it was?”
“I don’t remember much. I’ve tried.” Hands curled tight, she watched her knuckles whiten. “Aunt Chloe rescued me during the attack. The Fae beat back the Draicon pack. I think…they killed my father. I don’t know! I want to know, but I can’t remember.” Misery knotted her throat. “I have snatches of dreams, of images. Chloe told me when the time was right, I’d learn the truth. About what, and who, I really am. But I know what I am. The daughter of a vicious killer.” Her voice dropped to a bare whisper. “So what does that make me?”
Compassion flared in his gaze. “You’re Sienna McClare. What your parents were isn’t important. It’s what you make of yourself that counts.”
“That’s why the Orb is so important to me. If I find it and bring it back, my people will accept me back into their colony.”
At his incredulous look, she sighed. “They turned me out on my twenty-first birthday, because I’m a hybrid and don’t belong. I do belong, and once I prove my loyalty to their side, I will.”
“Is that what you truly want?” he asked quietly.
“More than anything. I need my people. They’re all I’ve ever known. With them I’ll feel…”
Connected.
“Wolves aren’t so bad, either,” he murmured. Matt stroked a thumb along her jawline. “Draicon. No Fae could pull off that effective a glamour with scent, as well. I knew there was something sweet about your scent.”
A half smile touched her mouth. “That’s my Fae half.”
His gaze locked on her lips. “So sweet,” he murmured.
He’d put his life before her own. Gotten burned, cushioned her fall, kept her safe. For so long, she’d functioned on her own, accustomed to fending for herself. Not one single Fae had risked his life for her.
She thought about how much she wanted to draw close. Feel that tensile strength holding her close, the slight abrasion of his day whiskers against her soft cheek.
As he leaned down to kiss her, Sienna closed her eyes.
She sighed on a breath as his mouth met hers. It was a sweet kiss, his lips warm and soft. He was gentle, his mouth reverent as if he held back, waiting for her. All the other kisses from the few Fae males had been cold, lacking in passion and tenderness. Sienna wanted more. When she parted her lips and licked his mouth, he deepened the kiss. He tasted like the most exquisite wine, of moonlit nights and dazzling starlight. The kiss melted her bones and spoke of sheer need, a painful longing finally met.
Her senses spun as he slid his arms about her waist. It was breathtaking and dizzying, searing her with wicked heat. Sienna clung to him, feeling the thick muscles of his wide shoulders, the sheer solidness of the man.
She was hot, her clothing constricting her, needing to get bare, feel his skin warm and smooth against hers…needing more, needing his mouth against her body. Needing him to lay her on a soft, wide bed and take her as a man takes a woman.
Sweet mercy.
Alarmed, she pulled back, breathing hard. Surrendering to desire for him meant surrendering all hope of belonging to her colony. She couldn’t align herself with any wolf.
Not even an honorable navy SEAL who’d risked his life for her.
“Stop it. Leave me alone.” She pulled out of his arms.
“Sienna, talk to me.”
Shaking her head, she retreated into the bathroom. Sienna closed the door and leaned against it. Gods, what had she done? It should have been just a kiss.
But it felt like so much more.
Chapter 5
T
he city of Santa Fe was pretty and artsy and normally Sienna would have enjoyed seeing the sights. But not now.
Sienna paced the lobby of the elegant downtown hotel as Matt dealt with the front desk. Wide sofas with a taupe and sienna Indian print were scattered around the luxurious lobby. A distressed wood round table held a welcoming pitcher of fruit punch and crystal glasses. It was very upscale and luxurious.
Something about this city, despite its charming, artistic flair, screamed danger. Beneath the exciting energy and charm, she sensed an undertone of unusual darkness. She couldn’t tell if it was real, or her imagination.
Somehow, she was losing the Fae ability to sort truth from fiction. And if she lost that ability, what was next?
The more time she spent with Matt, the less Fae she became. The flare of attraction between them proved too much. Too confusing. Too upsetting. Once she was inside her room, she’d change back to her Fae form.
Sienna clenched her hands as Matt turned, swinging his heavy duffel bag over one shoulder and lifting her suitcase as if it weighed no more than a lunch box.
“The key to my room, please.”
He gave her a cool look. “We’re sharing.”
Dumbfounded, she gaped at him.
“I’ll take the sofa. I’ve slept in much worse.” He began climbing the stairs.
She scurried after him. “I can’t stay with you.”
“I warned you, no going solo. You’re sticking with me at all times.”
Gritting her teeth, she waited until they ascended to the second floor. As he set the bags down and inserted the room key into the lock, she grabbed his arm. Smooth muscles rippled beneath warm skin. Matt raised an eyebrow.
“I can’t stay with you. I need my own room. Besides, aren’t we supposed to be brother and sister?”
His mouth was a grim slash. “After what happened in Forrest Plains, no way, pixie. I registered us as a couple staying together. I’ve agreed to let you stay on this op and I’ve been charged with your care and protection. What I protect, I don’t ever desert. Got it?”
The door swung open. He gave her a gentle but firm push inside.
“My care? Says who? I don’t report to the navy.”
“You do now. Did from the moment you agreed to this assignment. As senior officer, I’m pulling rank, Miss McClare.”
A huge bed dominated the room, boasting a hand-woven Indian print bedspread. Fine art prints of southwestern landscaping hung on the terra-cotta walls. In the corner sat a small, distressed wood writing desk. The guest suite was expansive, comfortable and stylish.
Her anxious gaze swept the interior, looking for any place, even a balcony, to find solitude.
Nothing. Except the bathroom.
Panic constricted her throat. Sienna struggled for control. As he tossed the luggage onto a bench and unzipped his duffel, she darted into the bathroom and locked the door.
Gripping the sink, she stared at her reflection. Breath wheezed in and out of her lungs.
I am Fae. I am Seelie Sidhe.
With every ounce of power she possessed, Sienna concentrated, willing away the Draicon glamour to resume her natural Fae form.
The air shimmered for a moment. Nothing.
I have to do this. I must. I am Seelie Sidhe.
Sienna directed a blast of pure power at the mirror image. The glass wavered for a moment, and then cracked in half. Stricken, she stared at the shattered image of herself.
Draicon still.
“Sienna. You okay?”
Blinking hard, she willed the image to change. Nothing.
Please,
she thought desperately.
I am Fae.
A fist pounded on the door. “Sienna, answer me now, or I’m coming in there. On the count of five.”
Finally, the image wobbled. Pale skin replaced sun-darkened skin, her eyes grew larger and greener, and the telltale pointed ears returned.
She unlocked the door just as he kicked. Matt tumbled inside, but recovered in a graceful roll. He stood, jamming a hand through his thick hair.
“What’s going on?”
Sienna fingered her ears with a relieved sigh. “Nothing. Can’t a girl have her privacy to put on her face?”
She swept past him with a regal sniff. A very Fae sniff.
* * *
As they made their way toward downtown Santa Fe and the busy city square, Sienna paused to window-shop. The flowered print dress flowing down to her ankles resembled vintage hippie. So did the way she’d coiffed her hair, pinning it up and jamming a flower in the locks. Sandals adorned her feet.