The Cowboy Next Door (4 page)

“How does it feel to be home?” the other guy, Joey, asked.

Lacey paused at the door to the kitchen to hear him say, “It's always good to come home.”

When Lacey took Jay his burger, he actually smiled. She refilled his water glass and turned, but a hand caught hers. Not Jay's hand.

“Hey, Lacey, how about you come to the rodeo with me tonight?” Joey Gaston winked and his hand remained on hers.

Lacey pulled her hand free. She could feel heat sliding up her cheeks and she couldn't look at Jay. “I don't think so, Joey.”

“Oh, come on, we'd have a good time.” He smiled, showing dimples that probably charmed a lot of girls.

“I'm not into a ‘good time,' Joey.” She wasn't good enough to take home to meet their families, but she was good enough for a back road on a Saturday night.

Lance had done that for her.

“Leave her alone, Joey.” Jay's voice, quiet but firm.

Lacey couldn't look at Jay, but she knew that tone in his voice. And Joey knew it, too. He sat back in his chair, staring at Jay, brows raised.

“I was just kidding. I've got a girlfriend.”

“Oh, that makes it
way
more amusing, Joey.” Lacey walked away, pretending no one stared and that she hadn't been humiliated.

For six years she'd been accepted in Gibson. Dating Lance had been the mistake that changed everything.

She walked through the swinging doors into the kitchen and leaned against the wall. The doors swung open and Jolynn was there. “Honey, don't you listen to those boys. Remember, they're just young pups that need to have their ears boxed. The people who count, the people who love you, know better.”

Lacey nodded, and wiped away the tear that broke loose and trickled down her cheek. “I know. Thanks, Jo.”

“You can always count on me, sweetie. You know you're my kid and I love you.”

The one tear multiplied and Jolynn hugged her tight, the way a mother would hug a daughter. The way Lacey had only dreamed of when she'd been a child growing up.

L
acey pulled up the driveway to her house and then just sat in the car, too tired to get out. After a long breakfast and lunch shift at the diner, her feet were killing her and her head ached.

She didn't want to deal with Corry after dealing with Joey back at the diner. She didn't want to clean the house after cleaning tables all day. It would have been great to come home and sit by herself on the front porch.

Instead she knew she had to go inside and face her sister. She had to face that dinner probably wasn't cooked, and Corry probably wasn't any more appreciative today than she'd been yesterday.

As she walked up the steps a car drove past. Jay in his truck coming home from work. She waved and he waved back. He was going to the rodeo tonight. She used to go a lot, but not lately. Lately had been about work and classes, and when she had spare time, she studied.

She opened the front door and walked into the slightly muggy house, not completely cool because the window air conditioners were old. A huge mess greeted her.

“What in the world is going on here?” Lacey walked into
her beautiful new living room with the hardwood floors and cobalt-blue braided rugs. From the arched doorway she could see through the dining room to the kitchen with the white-painted cabinets.

Everything was a mess. Clothes littered the floors. Dirty dishes covered the counters and trash covered the floor. A radio blasted rock music and the baby was crying.

“Corry, where are you?” Lacey picked up the wailing baby and hurried through the house.

“I'm here.” A voice mumbled from the back porch.

“What are you doing, taking a nap? You have a baby to feed. The house is a disaster and you were supposed to cook.”

Corry was curled up on the wicker couch, hair straggling across her face. She was wearing the same clothes she'd worn the previous day. Lacey leaned over, looking into eyes that were blurry and a smile that drooped.

“What have you done?” Lacey reached for the phone, ready to call 911.

“Cold medicine. Just cold medicine.”

“How much.”

“Just enough. Get off my back.”

“Did you have to trash my house?”

Lacey walked away, still holding Rachel close. Words were rolling through her mind, wanting to come out. She couldn't say what she wanted to say. She couldn't stand next to her sister, for fear she would hurt her. Corry was already hurting herself.

“I'm so angry with you, Corry. I can't believe you would do this. You have a baby.” Lacey stopped in front of the corner curio in the living room and started picking up the few dogs that had been knocked off the shelves.

“Stop being a prude,” Corry snarled.

“Stop being selfish.”

“I have a friend coming to get me next week.” Corry sat up, leaning forward, her stringy dark hair hanging down over her face.

“How did you call a friend?”

“I used your boyfriend's phone. His mother let me in.”

“Leave Mrs. Blackhorse alone.” Lacey crossed back to her sister, kneeling in front of her and turning Corry's face so that they made eye contact. “Stay away from Jay and his family.”

“Why? Are you afraid of what they'll think of you if they meet me?” Corry smiled a hazy smile. “Too late. I think they were impressed.”

Lacey stood back up. The baby cried against her shoulder, reminding her that it was time to eat. “I can't have you living here like this, Corry.”

She couldn't let Corry destroy everything she'd built. Lacey had a life here, and friends. She belonged. For the first time in her life, she'd found a place where she belonged.

“I plan on leaving. I'm not going to stay and live like a hermit.” Corry's words reminded Lacey of the phone call.

And the crying baby. “You can't take Rachel back to St. Louis. That isn't good for her. How are you going to take care of her if you can't take care of yourself?”

“I'll manage. Don't worry about me. Remember, I'm a woman and we know how to take care of babies. It's easy, right?”

“It isn't easy, Corry. I know that. But this baby deserves a chance. And it's her that I'm worried about, not you.”

She walked away because she couldn't argue. And the baby needed to be fed. She could concentrate on Rachel and let the rest go.

She was heating the bottle when Corry walked into the room. Rachel squirmed against Lacey, tiny hands brushing Lacey's face. Corry looked through blurry eyes, but maybe she was also sorry. Lacey wanted her to be sorry.

“Corry, this can't be the life you want for yourself.”

“What's wrong with my life?”

“It doesn't include faith. It doesn't include you wanting a better life for yourself and your child.”

“I'm here.”

“Yes, you are here.” Lacey tested the formula on her wrist and cradled Rachel to feed her. Corry only watched.

“Do you like that cowboy?” Corry leaned against the counter. She shoved her trembling hands into her pockets and hunkered down, defeated.

Lacey ignored the obvious signs of someone going through withdrawal. She knew that was the reason for the cold medicine. Her sister would have done anything for a high at this point.

“He isn't even a friend, just someone I know from town and from church.”

For a minute it felt like a normal conversation between sisters. To keep up the illusion, Lacey kept her gaze averted.

“I think I could have more luck with him. You're too pushy.” The normal moment between sisters ended with that comment.

Lacey lifted Rachel to her shoulder and patted the baby's back. “Stop it, Corry.”

“Are you jealous?”

“There's nothing to be jealous of. I don't want him used. End of story.”

“When did you get all righteous? Does he know what you used to be?”

Lacey turned to face her sister. She could feel heat crawling up her neck to her cheeks. “My past is behind me. And it wasn't who I…” She blinked a few times, wishing there weren't tears in her eyes. “It wasn't who I wanted to be.”

She didn't belong. Not the way she really wanted to belong to Gibson. After all of these years, she wasn't really one of them. She wanted to be like these people, growing up here,
having lifelong friends, family that never moved away, and a place that was all hers.

“Not so easy to be a goody-goody now, is it? Not with me here to remind you of what you used to be. What you still are.”

Take a deep breath
, she told herself. She wasn't that girl from St. Louis, not here in Gibson. Her past was forgiven. She had to remember who she was now, and who she was in Christ.
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son.

She was the “whosoever” who had chosen to believe in Jesus. She would not perish, but have everlasting life. They sang a song in church, “My Sins Are Gone.” It was her song. Anyone could ask her why she was happy, how she could smile and go on, building a new life. The answer was simple: because her sins were gone, as far as east from west. Her sister could remind her, but she couldn't bring back what had been forgiven. Not really.

“I'm a Christian, Corry. I have faith. I have a new life, and that old life is no longer a part of me.”

“Really? You might want to think it's gone, but it's still there.”

“I am who I am because of my past, Corry. But God gave me a new life.”

“And what makes you so special?”

“I'm not special. I made a choice that anyone can make.”

“A past isn't that easy to get rid of.” Corry shook her head and walked off, tossing the words over her shoulder. “You're the one living in a fantasy world. By the way, someone's here.”

 

Jay knocked on the door because he had promised Cody and Bailey he would. They'd been trying to call Lacey, but she wasn't answering her cell phone. They were worried. He could have told them that Lacey Gould could take care of herself, but they wouldn't have listened.

They were a lot like his mom, determined to make sure Lacey was kept safe. As if she needed protection.

From the sounds coming from inside the house, he guessed that right now she wanted rid of her sister. He knocked again.

She opened the door, hair a little shaggier than normal and liner under her eyes a little smudged. She didn't smile.

“Bailey wanted me to stop and check on you.”

“Why?”

“She's been trying to call and she can't get hold of you.”

Lacey reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone. She frowned at it and then slipped it back into her pocket. “No signal.”

“Okay, I'll let them know.” He glanced past her. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” Her eyes narrowed, and she shook her head a little, as if she really didn't understand his question.

“Lacey, is everything okay?”

“Fine.” She glanced over her shoulder, at the mess, at the broken dogs, at the clothes scattered on the floor. “I'm sorry, I'll get it cleaned up.”

“I'm not talking about the house. I know you'll get it cleaned up. I'm asking if
you're
okay.”

The baby was crying, and the radio played from the kitchen. Lacey Gould's eyes watered and her nose turned pink.

“Let me help you clean up.” He walked past her, into the ransacked house. “Is she looking for a fix?”

“She is.” Lacey walked away from him. “Let me get the baby.”

“I'll get a broom.”

“You don't have to. You have somewhere you need to be and I'm here for the night. It won't take me long to clean up.” She walked back into the room with the baby cuddled against her. Exhaustion etched lines across her face and her shoulders heaved with a sigh.

Jay offered her a smile that he knew wouldn't ease her worry or take away the burden. Instead he bent and started picking up the dog figurines that were still intact. The dogs meant something to her. He thought it was more about a life she had never had than a pet she wanted.

“We could get her help.” He offered the suggestion as he put the last dog in place. “We could try for a seventy-two hour hold and maybe get her into a treatment program.”

“She has to want help.”

“I guess you're right.” He stood up straight. He hadn't realized before that she was a good half-foot shorter than his six feet two inches.

He felt as though he towered over her.

“Thanks for stopping by, Jay. If you see Bailey, tell her I'm fine.”

“You could ride along and tell her yourself. It probably would be good for you to get out for a while.”

“Ride along?” She stared and then shook her head. “I don't think you want to start that rumor.”

“It won't start rumors.”

“It would, and you really don't want your name linked to mine.”

He didn't. She was right. He didn't want his name linked to anyone else's name because three years of Cindy had cured him of his dreams of getting married, having the picket fence and a few kids. He didn't want a woman that would only be a replacement for what he'd lost years ago. Somewhere along the way Cindy had figured that out.

The baby was crying. “I can't go, Jay. Corry is strung out and I can't leave the baby here.”

“Bring the baby.”

Her eyes widened. For a long moment she stood there, staring at him, staring at the door. Finally she nodded.

“I will go.” She hurried into the kitchen and came back with a diaper bag and the baby still held against her shoulder. “But I have to change clothes first. I smell like a cheeseburger.”

“Okay.” He didn't expect her to shove the baby into his arms, but she did. The wiggling infant fit into the crook of his elbow, her hands grasping at the air. “Umm, Lacey, the baby…”

She had already reached the bedroom door. “What?”

How did he admit to this? Honesty seemed to be the answer, but he knew he wouldn't get sympathy. “I've never held a baby.”

“You've never held a baby. Isn't your dad an OB-GYN? And you've never held a baby?”

“Never.” He swallowed a little because his heart was doing a funny dance as he held this baby and he couldn't stop looking at Lacey Gould. And she had the nerve to laugh at him.

“Sit down before you drop her. You look a little pale.”

He sat down, still clutching the tiny little girl in his arms. He smiled down at her, and man if she didn't smile back, her grin half-tilted and making her nose scrunch.

“Now aren't you something else.” He leaned, talking softly, and she smiled again. “You're a little charmer. I think I'd just about buy you a pony.”