The Cowboy's Holiday Blessing (8 page)

“Perfect. But hurry, she might be here in a few minutes.”

“I'm hurrying. Is there even a place to plug these in?”

“Yeah, over by the door. You'll need an extension cord.”

“Gotcha.” He moved the ladder to the other end of the porch. The ground didn't look too level and the ladder wobbled as he climbed.

“Uh, be careful.”

“You think? I'm recovering from cracked ribs and a bruised kidney. If I go down, kid, I'm taking you with me.”

She laughed and he shook his head. “No respect for old people,” he grumbled.

“You're not that old.”

“Thanks, I think.” He hammered a nail into the
wood trim of the porch roof. “There we go. She has a security light and Christmas lights.”

“Isn't she too old to be afraid of the dark?” Jade moved close to the ladder.

“People are afraid of a lot of things, Jade.”

“Yeah, I guess.” She shook the ladder and he screamed. “Chicken.”

“I'm going to get you, good.”

She ran, laughing. The yapping puppy went with her. He saw another car. He turned and waved as Madeline came up the drive. Before he could make adjustments, the ladder swayed. He leaned, trying to push it back the right way. Slowly it fell backward, taking him with it.

Jade screamed. Madeline's car door slammed and she yelled.

As if he could answer as he jumped. He landed on his feet a short distance back from the ladder that crashed to the ground.

Madeline got to him before the dog. “Are you okay?”

He nodded because he couldn't really get the words out yet. These two women were determined to make him look like a weak little girl. He brushed a hand through his hair and inhaled sharply.

“Phew, that was close.”

“You think?” Jade snickered and he reached for her. She moved quickly and got away.

Madeline looked up at her porch and then at him. “You put up Christmas lights.”

“One better. You now have motion lights. Well, one motion light. I still have to put up the one for your back stoop.”

“Jackson, you don't have to. I'm fine.”

“You'll be able to sleep with the lights off.” He didn't stay to discuss it with her. He picked up the ladder and
headed around the side of the house, moving a little slower.

She appeared as he set up the ladder and pulled the second light out of the box. “You didn't have to do this.”

“I know I didn't. I'm being a good neighbor. I should have thought of it sooner.”

She stared at him, big eyes searching his face, questioning him. Probably questioning his motives, he guessed.

“Why? Why would you think of it sooner? For all you know I'm a night owl, an insomniac, addicted to computer games and coffee.”

“You drink tea. Probably herbal. And you live out here by yourself.”

It didn't sit right, knowing her story and her not knowing that he knew. He'd have to tell her. But how did he tell her, basically a stranger, that he knew her secrets?

“Jackson, whose puppy is that?”

He climbed the ladder and pretended to busy himself removing the old light, but he looked down at the woman standing close, holding the ladder. She didn't smile when she looked up. She didn't look away, either. He thought she had the sweetest face he'd ever seen. Pretty. She was definitely pretty. And he hadn't noticed till now because she hid behind those sweaters and big glasses.

“The puppy is yours, too. It's easier to be in the dark if you're not alone.”

“I can't take a gift like that.”

He hooked up the new light and twisted the wire nuts. “Yeah, you can. I've dragged you into my life and you've not asked for a thing in return. I wanted to do this for you.”

“It wasn't necessary. I was helping a neighbor.”

“That's what I'm doing.” He climbed down. “And if you want to flip your breaker, we'll see if this works.”

She nodded once and walked away. He watched her go, and he couldn't believe how much he wanted to go after her. But he stood his ground because he'd already warned himself that he wouldn't hurt her. She wasn't a woman he could casually date and then walk away from.

She had too much at stake. Too much to lose.

 

Madeline flipped the switch and stepped back outside to see if the light worked. Jackson stood nearby, looking up at the unlit light. He walked past and it flickered and came on. He stood beneath it in the gray light of early evening. She couldn't look away.

Jackson Cooper probably topped the list of eligible bachelors in Oklahoma. And he had just installed lights for her to sleep more securely at night. He stood in her yard, a cowboy in faded jeans and a dark blue flannel shirt. His blond hair spiked a little when he took off his hat. His slow, easy smile revealed a dimple in his chin.

Years ago she'd realized she could look at a man like Jackson and feel nothing. Which was better than the fight-or-flight instinct of her childhood. But feeling nothing had felt hollow.

Hollow but safe.

Jackson made her feel safe. But he wasn't. He could break her heart.

Because he made her feel.

“It works.” He walked toward her, slow and easy, casual but she saw his grimace of pain.

“It does. Thank you.”

Jade rounded the corner of the house, the puppy at
her heels. “Hey, the lights on the porch work. Come and see.”

Jackson reached for her hand. Madeline drew in a breath as his fingers clasped with hers and she allowed him to lead her around to the front of her house.

“Well, look at that, you have Christmas.” He tugged her close, sliding her hand with his into the pocket of her heavy coat. His fingers curled around hers, around her emotions, her heart.

She needed space. She needed to breathe deep and clear her head. She moved a step away, focusing on the glittery lights that ran along her porch roof. It took a moment for her world to settle, for her thoughts to settle. The man standing next to her had done this. For her.

A sneaky thought poked at her, asking her why he'd done this. What did he want? She brushed the suspicions aside. Jackson Cooper had done something nice for her.
Let it go.

“Thank you.” She stepped closer to the house. The floodlight he'd installed came on, taking her by surprise, making her laugh. “That might be extreme.”

“You'll have to get used to it, but it'll light up the yard like it's daylight out here. And remember that every possum that crosses its path will probably set it off.”

“I'll remember.”

She would remember this Christmas, the year that a runaway girl pulled her into Jackson's life. The year her emotions had sprung free, totally out of control.

This moment equaled sneaking a peek at wrapped presents under the tree and then trying to shove them back into the paper, to make it the way it had been before.

An impossible task.

Jackson reached down to pet the puppy, groaning with the movement. “Jade, you need to take this dog in and feed it.”

The girl turned from the lights and called the dog. The puppy ran to her new best friend and she scooped her up and headed into the house. The last thing Madeline needed in her life was a puppy. Close to the last thing she needed.

Jackson smiled down at her, his face shadowed by the brim of the cowboy hat he'd placed back on his head. “I should go.”

“I could cook dinner. To pay you for all the work you've done and all the muscles you pulled jumping off the ladder.” Madeline should have kept her mouth closed, let him leave.

“I'm good and we stopped at the Mad Cow. Vera cooked up fried chicken and the fixings. It's in the fridge.”

“Thank you again.” It sounded like a broken record now. His little kindnesses were taking her life in so many new directions she didn't know what else to say. “You can stay.”

Common-sense Madeline had clearly left the building, to be replaced by out-of-control Madeline, her evil twin who obviously didn't think about broken hearts and the pain of the past.

“Thanks, but I'm going to clean up my mess and go home to crash.” He picked up a few tools he'd left on the porch. “I'll get the ladder if you'll put this in the back of the truck for me.”

“I can do that.” She took the box, carefully avoiding eye contact with probably the most gorgeous man she'd ever met.

She walked to the back of his truck and set the box in the metal toolbox behind the cab. He returned carrying the ladder, walking a little slower. He grinned as he lifted the ladder and set it in the back of the truck.

Madeline brushed back her hair and shivered in her coat as a cold wind picked up, scattering dried leaves left over from autumn across her lawn. She looked up and he had moved closer, his hazel eyes settled on her face, watching her, touching her with a look.

When his hand touched her arm she closed her eyes, waiting, telling herself not to run from this, not to run from feeling too much. His fingers touched her chin, turning her to face him.

Grounded, she was grounded. Reality, not fear. She was in her yard. The earth was beneath her. The truck was close enough to touch. A car drove by. A neighbor honked. She opened her eyes, no longer afraid. Much.

His hand moved to her cheek, sweet and easy. His fingers tangled in her hair and she looked up, wanting to know what it meant to be the woman in his arms.

When he pulled her close she froze for just an instant, then she exhaled and let go. He leaned in, soft breath and mint. The tangy scent of his cologne mixed with the winter air, a sharp breeze and wood smoke from the neighbor's fireplace. His hand slid to her waist and he held her for just a moment.

And as quick as that, he backed away, leaving her standing there in her driveway, unsure. Shaken.

He smiled and shook his head.

“Madeline, you're tempting, and self-control is not one of my strongest character traits. Some would say I have no control when it comes to beautiful women.” His fingers touched her cheek, feather-soft. “But I always
keep my word and I'm going to do that right now and walk away.”

She backed away from him, not sure how to take this moment, this goodbye. Her heart raced and she breathed, trying to catch up. Jackson Cooper tipped his hat and got into his truck.

As she stood there trying to make sense of what had happened, he backed out of her drive and was gone. She had put her heart on the line, taken steps she'd never taken before. She'd been rejected.

Jackson Cooper, known for his many relationships, for having a constant string of women, had held her and walked away.

So what did that make her? Chopped liver?

For a long time she stood in her driveway, shivering in the cold wind and trying hard not to be hurt by his rejection. But it did hurt. Because she'd held her emotions in check for so many years and when she'd taken a step toward someone, the man had walked away.

It hurt because his daughter was in her house and she'd have to see him again tomorrow.

As she walked back into the house she told herself it didn't have to be him. He didn't have to be the man she took a chance with. She could find someone safe. Someone who wouldn't break her heart.

But she had a hard time convincing herself.

J
ackson had to admit to a moment of real doubt as he walked up the steps of Dawson Community Church. Church, for the first time in… Well, he'd gone to funerals and weddings, but hadn't gone to church in ten years or more.

Except Christmas and Easter. He'd done the holidays for his mom.

Today he walked up the steps and through the door for… Himself? Jade? Or maybe for Madeline? Because last night he'd walked away from her, seconds short of a moment that he figured would have changed his life and hers in ways he couldn't take back.

His dad had warned him Madeline wasn't someone to play around with. Madeline had stories that he couldn't begin to fathom and pain that he wished he could take away. He wanted to hold on to her and promise no one would ever hurt her again. He was the last person to make that promise.

Church had already started. He walked through the double doors and into the vestibule. He stood there rethinking the impulse that had put him in church on a Sunday morning, dress boots and new jeans, a
button-up shirt he'd actually ironed. He took off the black cowboy hat he'd shoved on his head as he got out of the truck and held it in his hand.

Someone stepped forward, reaching for his hand. Ryder Johnson. Not much more than a year ago Ryder had been single and he'd planned on staying that way. Now he had a wife and twin baby girls.

“Jackson, good to see you,” Ryder whispered as he pulled him into a comfortable man hug and slapped him on the back. And then Ryder ruined things by whispering, “And look, the roof is still in one piece.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Jackson spotted a seat on the back pew. The piano played and the choir sang “I'll Fly Away.”

“It really is good to have you here.”

“Good to be here.” Jackson sat down and Ryder went back to his seat next to his wife, Andie.

Jackson settled into the seat by himself in an empty pew. A few people looked back, wondering. His Gram sat near the front next to his dad. Her smile split her face and she nodded and looked up, thinking God had, at long last, answered prayers for the grandson gone astray.

He closed his eyes as the choir took their seats and Jenna McKenzie sang a solo. He felt someone move close, sit next to him. A body brushed past him. He opened his eyes and smiled at Jade, who'd taken her place to his left. And Madeline to his right.

Oh yeah, this wouldn't be a rumor starter. And a match on dry wood wouldn't start a fire. Right! By the end of the day everyone in town would be talking and they'd have a hard time deciding what to discuss first. Jackson Cooper had gone to church and the roof hadn't caved. Madeline and a girl that looked a lot like him
had sat next to him in church. So much for slipping in unnoticed.

“You're here.” Jade grabbed his hand. She peeked past him to Madeline. “I told you.”

“Shhh,” Madeline warned. “We're in church.”

Jade nodded but she held on to his hand.

Somehow he managed to focus on the sermon about killing giants with faith. A decent twist on a story he'd heard all his life. Giants. He'd had a few that he'd faced in his life. He couldn't really say what had pushed him out of church. Maybe a lifetime of being told to get up, to clean up, to stop acting up? Maybe being busy, being gone on Sundays? Maybe shame for the things he'd done that he knew would make his mother blush and probably make God none too happy?

Today didn't really push him to the top of any spiritual mountains. Everyone in town knew him for what he was. Today they would think he was a dad. The kid sitting next to him, holding on to his hand like he was some kind of hero, thought he was her dad.

Maybe they'd think he was involved with everyone's favorite teacher. He had to admit, he didn't dislike the notion of people thinking he'd managed to snag someone who smelled like a spring morning.

Her arm touched his.

“Lunch at the Cooper Ranch after church,” he whispered close to her ear.

She shivered and he moved his arm, settling it on the back of the pew behind her. Lunch with the family, a Sunday tradition. Even when he didn't go to church he still had lunch with the family. Most of the time.

But he never took a woman with him. The word
date
slipped into his mind. He'd never taken a date to Sunday lunch. That hadn't seemed right. Not attending
church hurt his mother enough without him adding a woman to the mix.

He settled his attention on the front of the church and something shifted in his heart. It happened when he saw his mother sitting next to his dad. Travis sat next to her. And Mia. And Lucky and his wife and kids.

Reese would have been there, but he'd joined the army and recently shipped out to Afghanistan.

Blake, probably busy with bank business, didn't attend church.

Heather went to church in Grove. She liked anonymity.

Jesse was probably on duty at the hospital.

Dylan had a load of bulls in Texas, and Gage was busy riding bulls.

Sophie did her own thing these days, and usually it had nothing to do with the family.

Everyone had lives, stories and places to be.

He should have been here sooner. If not for himself, for his mom. The look on her face when she turned at the end of the service drove that thought home. Yeah, he should be there for God, for himself, but his mom was the one looking right at him, with tears in her eyes.

After the closing prayer everyone stood, people moved and he had enough sense to know that most of them were heading his way. Jackson in church on a Sunday that wasn't a holiday? They'd all be wondering why.

“Hey, brother.” Travis clasped his hand and shot a look from Madeline to Jade. “You coming out to the house for lunch?”

“I plan on it.”

Travis leaned in close. “You bringing your little family?”

Jackson squeezed the hand that still held his. “Travis, don't make me have to take you out back.”

Travis laughed and pulled away, a good-natured pup who needed a serious thump on the head. “Nothing wrong with settling down, brother. The three of you look kind of nice together.”

Jackson reached but Travis moved a little quicker these days.

And then his parents stepped close. This had gone from a decent idea to one huge complication. Jade was in his mother's arms and his mom stared at him, eyes wide, lots of questions and answers.

Sooner or later he would have to talk to Jade, explain things to her. But looking at her in the middle of his big family, watching her smile and laugh, he knew it wouldn't be easy and it would break her heart. He could give the kid Christmas with his family. That's what she wanted, a family.

“Are you coming out to the house for lunch?” His mom still held on to Jade and with her free hand she reached for Madeline, pulling her close. And they were all looking at him.

Yeah, he'd planned on lunch with his family. Now that plan seemed to include the two females who were doing a lot to complicate his, up to now, uncomplicated life. Yesterday it had felt good to do something nice for Madeline. It had felt pretty decent to spend an afternoon with Jade.

But taking them home to his family felt a little… He pulled at the collar of his shirt and wished it was not quite so hot.

“Jackson?” His dad shot him a look.

“Of course we're coming out for lunch.” He avoided
looking at Madeline but he couldn't miss the very pleased smile on his mother's face.

 

Sandwiched on the truck seat between Jade and Jackson, Madeline tried to make herself smaller. She sat up straight and kept her shoulders in. The truck turned and she slid a little toward Jackson in his new jeans, his dark cowboy hat covering blond hair that managed to look a little messy and made him a whole lot cute.

For the first time in her life, she felt young. She felt like a sixteen-year-old in a pickup on a Saturday night. It felt good. And frightening.

“Nervous?” Jackson smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners, and then shifted his attention back to the road. He reached to turn up the radio and an old Randy Travis song filled the cab of the truck.
Forever and ever, Amen.

She'd never thought about loving someone forever. She'd always thought that being single meant being safe from being hurt. Safe now seemed to be a thing of the past.

“Of course not. Why would I be nervous?”

He laughed loud. “You and I both know that this isn't a simple lunch. The minute you sat down next to me, everyone in Dawson had us paired up and started wondering when we'd be announcing the big day.”

She choked a little because she hadn't expected him to put it so bluntly. “Thanks.”

His left hand firmly on the wheel, he moved his right arm and slipped it around her shoulder. His fingers tweaked her sleeve, and her arm buzzed beneath his touch.

“It's okay, Maddie, we'll get through this and in a
week or two, people will realize you were the person rescuing me and Jade.”

Why didn't that make her feel any better? Because he'd just let her know, in a sweet way, that she wasn't anything more than the person helping him out? Why did it suddenly, painfully, matter?

They pulled up the driveway that led to the main house of the Cooper ranch, the Circle C. Cooper Creek flowed through the field and circled back through the stand of trees farther on. The house, a big, brick, Georgian place, sat back from the main road. Trees lined the driveway.

The Coopers were everything a family should be. The Coopers were everything she'd ever wanted. Probably everything Jade had ever wanted. Not that they didn't have problems, but when they did, they drew together and held on to each other.

She'd never really had a family. Hers had been a group of people and it had never been safe or nurturing. Foster care had been a respite for a few years but she'd been too closed off at that time to get attached to her foster parents. She'd kept in touch for a few years but she'd finally stopped writing.

“They don't bite.” Jackson leaned close as he pulled to a stop behind another car. Lucky's family piled out of an SUV. Jackson's hand rubbed her arm and he pulled her close for a brief instant.

“I know they don't.” But her heart pounded hard, achingly hard. Not because of the prospect of lunch with the Coopers, but because Jackson's arm around her held her tight.

He held her tight and she wasn't afraid, not of him.

“You okay?”

“I'm good.” Not good.

Her heart crumbled a little with the knowledge that it was this man who made her feel safe. It shouldn't be him. It didn't make sense that safety and fear should tangle together in her heart, pushing against each other.

Jade had already jumped out of the truck. Jackson reached for his door and settled one last look on her before pushing it open. “Time to face the music, Maddie.”

“So sweetly put.” She ignored the hand he held out. “I should have gone home. You could have spent this day with Jade and your family.”

“My mother would have taken a switch to me if you hadn't come along.”

“I doubt that.”

He laughed and pulled her close. “Darlin', you have no idea. My mom is probably thinking you're one of the answers to her prayers. All our lives she's prayed for God to send the perfect person into our lives at the perfect moment. And she has no doubt that God will honor that prayer.”

“But I'm not…”

“You won't be able to convince her of that.” He leaned close, and she wondered if he meant to kiss her. He didn't. He flicked her chin with his finger and stepped away.

She obviously brought this new self-control out in him.
Way to go, Madeline.
For the first time she wanted to be held and for the first time in his life, Jackson Cooper had self-control.

Madeline took a deep breath and stood a little straighter. Time to face the music. She managed a smile and to not melt when Jackson held her hand and walked her up the steps of the big house, straight into the circle of trust that was the Coopers.

Jade didn't seem to have a problem. She stood in the middle of Jackson's very overwhelming family and allowed them to pull her in.

“What's for lunch, Mom?” Jackson's thumb brushed the top of Madeline's hand and he didn't let go.

Angie Cooper turned, smiling big, reaching for Madeline and forcing Jackson to let go. Madeline loved Angie Cooper. She was gracious, dignified and always kind.

“Madeline, thank you so much for helping Jackson with this…situation.”

“It hasn't been a problem.”

Angie's smile softened as did her expression. “Of course it hasn't. But it means so much to us.”

Coopers were everywhere. They were laughing and talking, teasing each other. Angie Cooper continued to talk, not bothered at all by the constant commotion around her. Her family. Jackson's family.

Madeline nodded in answer to Angie's questions. In the blink of an eye Jackson stood next to her. She smiled up at him, pretending to be strong, because she'd pretended for a long time. But in the middle of this family she felt so much like a fraud, because she'd never had a family, not a real one.

She was strong. She'd spent the last fifteen years telling herself she was a survivor, not a victim. But survivors still had to deal with the past, with fear, with leftover anger and resentment.

With baggage that didn't unpack itself.

She'd done a lot of baggage unpacking. There were a few little things she still carried around with her, she knew that. But eventually she knew she'd let it all go. She'd trust enough to let it go.

She brushed a hand across her cheeks to wipe away
stray tears that had trickled out before she could get control of her emotions.

“Let's walk.” Jackson took her by the hand. “Mom, we'll be right in to help set the table.”

Angie Cooper shot her son a narrow-eyed look. “Jackson.”

“Five minutes.” He winked at his mom.