The Crescendo (15 page)

Jaz put down her fork. ‘It's nothing like that. I want to move out.' There, she'd said it. She watched her parents, waiting for the explosion. When nothing happened, she continued to put her case forward. ‘It's just that I want to keep the gym running, you know what that place means to me and it would be so much easier if I lived there. And I don't mean full-time, I could still stay here every second night or less, whatever. But the gym is my life, after school's done I want to introduce some new classes and work-outs. Like a self-defence one for girls. I could go to other gyms and offer this as well. I've been thinking about it a lot,' she finished in a rush.

‘I can tell,' said Tasha. She glanced at Paul and he pulled a face that looked like defeat. ‘We were wondering when this would happen.'

Jaz tilted her head to the side. Had she heard that correctly?

‘You are eighteen and who are we to keep you from your life, but I know we both like the sound of you still staying here. We were scared you'd move out full-time, but honey, please know you are welcome to come home anytime. We still want you around, want to see you, and Simon will miss you too.'

‘No I won't,' said Simon with a cheeky grin.

‘Really, so I can sort of move into Pax's place?' She half expected them to put up more of a fight, but her mum had always been realistic, unlike Anna's mum who seemed to think Anna would never want to leave home, nor would she let her.

‘It's not Pax's place anymore, Jaz. It's yours and Anna's. Pax came to me, telling me his wishes and hoped I'd be onboard with what he wanted because he knew it's what you'd want. And he was right. You have always had a connection with that place, this is your life now. You're an adult.' Tash looked like she was at a funeral but she meant every word.

Jaz got up and hugged her. ‘Thanks Mum. That means a lot. I'm gonna make a start on clearing out Pax's room today. Tay came up with the idea of framing one of his awful Hawaiian shirts.'

Both her parents laughed but agreed it was a fabulous idea.

After breakfast she went to the gym and made a start until Tay and Anna joined her. Pax had a plain room, the floorboards were polished and he had a soft rug by the bed so his feet didn't get cold. The walls were cream and the furniture was all wood. Old antique cupboards that he'd found were along one wall and his bed was newer, but solid wood frame. Jaz had already pulled down his brown curtains and was going to buy some in a jade with a matching bedspread to lift the room, and maybe a new cream rug and some cream accent pillows. In no time the room would have her stamp on it but remain with a thread of Pax.

‘Look at you go, Sadie,' said Anna when she arrived in denim overalls and a white shirt. A patterned bandana was wrapped around her head.

‘Long way to go yet.' She'd only stripped the bed and curtains, dumping them outside, plus brought in some garbage bags to put all the clothes in.

Tay was right behind her. These two were seriously joined at the hip.

‘I hope we don't find anything, you know, gross,' said Tay.

Jaz and Anna pulled a face and shook their heads. ‘Eewww, Tay.' Anna pushed him away. ‘You can do the stuff under the bed then,' she teased.

‘Maybe you should,' he said grabbing her around the waist and carting her to the bed where he tipped her upside down. ‘Can you see anything scary?'

‘Tay,' Anna squealed. ‘Tay, put me down.'

‘Not until you tell me the coast is clear under there.' Tay held her tightly as Anna put her hands on the floor and glanced under the bed.

‘Hey, it's actually clean under here, just some shoes.'

Tay let her down gently. He took his time letting her go and Jaz watched with fascination at her friends. What was holding them back? Maybe they were waiting for her to tell them it was okay if they wanted to be together? Maybe they were scared about ruining a friendship, bit like what Jaz may have done with Ryan.

Without realising, she'd sunk down into an old leather chair in the corner of the room as she thought about Ryan. Her chest ached like nothing she'd ever experienced before.

‘You okay, Jaz?' Anna was by her side, holding her hand. ‘Tay, can you put the kettle on please?'

When it was just the two of them in the room, Anna tilted her head towards her so she could look in her eyes. ‘I'm worried about you, my friend. What's going on?'

Jaz felt like she was on the edge of a cliff face, the wind pounding at her back inching her closer as she tried her best to keep herself together. Pax. Salvatore. Ryan. Jaz had to share something with Anna before she exploded.

‘At Steph's wedding, Ryan more or less said goodbye.' Her voice was almost a whisper.

‘Goodbye? What do you mean?'

‘I guess that he didn't want me, and the fact he was going undercover and may never come back. He didn't want me to wait. I don't know, all of it. Do you think he knows how I feel? Do you think that's what's scared him off?'

‘Oh honey.' Anna knelt down by the chair and held her hands. ‘Did you ever think that maybe he's trying to spare you any pain, or maybe even spare himself pain?'

Jaz frowned at her. Why would Ryan spare himself any pain?

‘I'm sure he cares about you, Jaz. I've seen the way he looks at you, and protects you. Maybe he was just scared? I'm sure it would have hurt him to walk away.'

Jaz smirked a little. ‘Actually, it was me who did the walking away.'

‘You did?'

‘Yeah, we were dancing and I realised why make things harder when I knew it was goodbye. So I just walked away. It nearly killed me but I didn't want him to think I was weak. But I do feel weak, Anna. As if Ryan is my kryptonite. Like I'm only half a person when he's not around. It's so strange. Is this what love does to you?'

Anna smiled at her sadly. ‘I guess. I'm yet to really experience a real love. But hey, you still have us, and the gym. I wish I could make you feel better.'

‘You have. Just getting it off my chest helps.'

‘I wish you'd come to me sooner.'

‘I didn't want to admit it, that he was pushing me out of his life, you know?'

‘I get it,' said Anna. ‘Hey, so what's gonna happen if Ryan ends up at this pub with the other Shesha Serpent dudes and he sees you?'

‘I don't know. That's the thing. No one knows what's happened, not even Tilly. I'm not sure how Ryan will react at all. I'm guessing he'll just carry on unaffected, as if I'm just like another operative and not someone he slept with.'

Anna pulled a sad face. ‘Hey.'

‘I know, it's my own fault. I talked him into it. I wanted it, no strings attached. Only my heart had other ideas. I didn't know it was going to change me.'

‘Would you sleep with him if you could go back, knowing what you know now?' asked Anna.

Jaz thought for a moment. To go back and change the most amazing moment in her life or not? The thing is, it wouldn't really change a damn thing. She was already in love with him by that stage, she just hadn't realised how much. That night with Ryan was worth every bit of shit she was going through now.

‘Yes, I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.'

Chapter 15

Ryan stood outside the door of the office building, where he was told to wait while Randall and Jamison went inside for a meeting. He'd been waiting here for an hour and a half, it was hot in the afternoon sun. At least Wilkins got to sit inside the car, which he left running so he had the air con. Sweat was beading along Ryan's forehead and he could feel his shirt sticking to his skin under his suit coat. But he didn't take it off because it hid his gun, in a holster given to him by Randall.

Randall was proving to be a tough nut to crack. Ryan made Randall look bad in front of Jamison, so in getting this job had also put the other workers offside. He'd been trying to make up ground ever since. Maybe Randall thought he was gunning for his job, which was true. And Wilkins was grumpy about being the driver but he knew it was that or nothing. He was probably just waiting around for his old job back.

Last night, as Ryan had done a perimeter check around Jamison's house he'd heard some of the staff talking near the quarters.

‘He'll be gone the moment the boss's daughter dumps him,' said Wilkins.

He should have been polishing the car, but he was a slacker.

‘Do you think he's after Randall's job? Randall says he's not worried but I think he is,' said Bud, another one of the house guards. ‘I heard Reece is over-qualified for this job.'

‘Bud, you're an arse,' said Wilkins. ‘No one can be more qualified than Randy. Stop spreading shit you don't know.'

Ryan had listened for as long as he dared, in case anything else was mentioned about Jamison, but it was just staff whingeing and then talk about going to the pub.

Ryan needed to get in with the boys, he needed them onside and already he was working on a plan to do that.

His phone rang; with no sign of Jamison, he quickly answered it. ‘Annaliese?'

‘Hi, baby. You free to talk?'

‘At the moment yes, but when your dad comes out I gotta go.' She knew the routine. It meant he'd hang up on her. Luckily for Ryan, Annaliese thought it was endearing how professional he was for her father.

‘I'll be quick. I'm just hoping we could do something tonight?'

‘I'd love to babe, but I was hoping to try and do something with the boys tonight. They still aren't happy with me, you know, dating you. I'd like to try and win them over.' That and he liked to take a break from Annaliese whenever he could.

‘How about I pop over for a bit just after work. I'll be quick, I promise?' she said with a purr.

The door opened behind him and he quickly finished the call. ‘Okay, see you then. Bye.' Tucking the phone away he checked the area as Jamison emerged. He nodded to Randall to say the coast was clear and they walked Jamison to the car.

When Jamison was safely at home, Ryan had to hang around outside until he was needed again. He got to knock off at five tonight; if Jamison decided to go out late then they would be called back.

‘So what's this pub I hear the guys talking about?' Ryan asked Randall as he met him by the house on one of his perimeter rounds.

Randall gave him a blank look. It had been two weeks since Ryan had scored Wilkins' job, you'd think Randall would cut him some slack.

‘Look, I get the feeling everyone is pissed at me. I'm not after your job, or anyone else's, if that's what you're worried about. I'm just here until I can find a better job or start my own business.' Ryan turned away from Randall and gazed down the driveway. He could see Wilkins down the bottom, buffing the rims on the car.

Randall was quiet for a while. Ryan didn't pressure him, just left the ball in his court.

‘It's called The Duke. Not a bad place, the beer's cold and the fellas like it.'

Ryan turned to thank him but Randall had already headed back inside. Was that his first welcome of sorts? At least Ryan had the name of the pub now, it was almost as good as an invite. Soon he'd show up and shout the boys beers and try and win them over that way. If he could work on Randall, get him to like him more, then the others would follow. They all looked up to Randall as the leader of the group, per se.

When the day was over Ryan headed back to his flat. He'd decided to stay in and not pressure the guys at the pub just yet. Let what had happened with Randall simmer and work its way to the rest of the staff and then he'd see.

But staying in meant Annaliese.

She knocked on his door at six.

‘Hello, Reece.'

Annaliese looked like she was ready for the club. Little strapless black dress, heels, hair cascading over her shoulder and the reddest lips. She was a head turner, yet to Ryan she was just his job. Annaliese lacked life, she wasn't interesting nor did she do things that amazed him. Some blokes probably like their trophy girlfriends, but Annaliese was not the kind of girl for him. In saying that, the sex was easy.

‘Don't you look amazing,' he said, pulling her into his arms and swinging the door shut.

‘I brought wine,' she said with a smile as she waved the bottle in her hand.

‘Later,' he said, taking it and putting it on the table. Annaliese groaned as he grabbed her backside.

She, in turn, pulled off the black shirt he'd put on after his shower. Her fingers ran over his chest, tracing the lumps of muscle with long red nails as her waist pressed against his.

Ryan bent and kissed her bare shoulder, then her neck, before kissing her ear lobe. He'd kiss her everywhere in the hopes he didn't have to kiss her properly. It was the hardest part of all for him, to kiss her convincingly. He slapped his hands against her legs then ran them up towards her bum, dragging her fitted dress up with them. She had nothing on underneath. He went exploring, her breathing intensifying as she pulled out the condom in his pocket before undoing his jeans, pulling them down, setting him free.

He waited as she slipped on the protective skin.

Ryan grabbed her butt and lifted her up. Annaliese put her arms around his neck and lifted her legs, wrapping them around him as he leant her back against the door.

‘Oh baby,' she purred.

Annaliese was kissing his shoulder in between her groans, no doubt leaving lipstick smeared all over his skin. But he couldn't focus on that. He closed his eyes, pushing her hard against the door as he found his rhythm. He closed off his ears to her noisy groans and the words she liked to mumble. He sunk deep into his thoughts, picturing long raven hair that glided over his skin like a satin sheet. He thought of the tight fit body that could take down a grown man, hell, it could take him down if he wasn't careful. That thought alone turned him on. He imagined her lips, the taste so sweet and innocent. He remembered what it was like to cup her perfect breasts in his hand and as he grew closer to release he let Annaliese kiss him, but in his mind it was someone completely different.